Moments Lost and Found

by Olivia Jake

  “You’ve got a few minutes before they wheel you off to radiology. Is your cell in your purse?” for the first time, Sam realized she had no idea where her purse or her belongings were. She knew she came in with them. She nodded, hoping the doctor could see the purse and find her phone for her. “Ok, Sun here can help you find it.”

  Sun, also on her right side, walked around her bed to retrieve her purse. Sam was relieved, though, given everything else, she knew her priorities were a little out of whack. “Is it ok if I look in here for your phone, Sam?” Sam nodded. Sun found the phone quickly and handed it to her. Sam realized, as she tried to look at the phone that dialing was tricky being drugged up and only having the use of one eye and one hand. Sam looked at the phone for a moment and then back at Sun. Sun got it pretty quickly, “Maybe I can help dial for you? I have the same type of cell, so I’m used to this one.” She said, probably to make Sam feel a little less helpless.

  “Yesth, pleasthe. Can you dial Steve – home?” Sun found the number, dialed, and when it was ringing, handed it to Sam.

  “Hey, Sam! God, that was some nasty food poisoning. I think I lost five pounds today.”

  “Steve.” Was all she said, but she knew that the way she said it, with her slurry speech, he immediately knew something was wrong.

  “Sammy! What’s wrong? Where are you?”

  “Steve, I can’t talk much. I’m in the hosthpital, St. Joeth. I’ll tell you everything later, but can you pleasthe come here to get my keysth and go take care of my boysth?” God, that was an effort.

  “Oh my God, Sam, yes, I’m on my way. I’ll be there in 15 minutes, less.”

  “I might be getting sthome sthcans when you get here, but tell them you’re my brother, ok?”

  “Ok, Sammy, I’ll be right there.” Then Sam ended the call. She hated worrying him like that, but someone had to take care of Max and Ben and she didn’t know who else to call. Now was not the time to reflect on just how alone she was, and luckily, the pain meds were doing a pretty good job of cancelling out most deep thought. Sam handed the phone back to Sun who placed it back into her purse.

  Soon, a heavy-set man came in, “Hi, Ms. Davis, I’m with hospital admissions, and before they wheel you back, I’m going to need you to sign some forms for me, ok?” Sam just nodded. “Now, do you have health insurance?” Sam nodded again. “Great, do you have your insurance card on you?” She nodded again and said,

  “In my wallet.” Pointing with her one eye over to her purse.

  “Wonderful, are any family members on their way? We can wait to gather that if someone’s on their way to help you.” Sam nodded “Great, then if we can just get your signature here, this is a consent for treatment.” He held a form on a clipboard. Sam signed. She thought, I’m signing something and I have no idea what it is other than what this man just told me…”Ok, and this form is your agreement to mediation…” In total, Sam scribbled her name about a half dozen times. She wondered what they did with people who were unconscious. Her mind drifted wondering if this would stand up in a court. Her mind drifted from thought to thought as he left and soon she was being wheeled down the hallway for her scans.

  Sam didn’t remember much from her scans and X-rays. She was vaguely aware of what they were doing, but she was so foggy. She thought it was a good thing that she had the pain meds because she didn’t have to work at holding still. So she just lay there, drifting in and out, half listening to what was going on around her, the random conversations of doctors and nurses, the overhead paging system that would break in every time Sam would drift off, the different noises of the various machines and equipment. Sam knew she was out of it as she noted the sound the gurney made as she was wheeled down the hallway, focusing on one squeak that the wheels made every few seconds.

  When she was wheeled back to her room, she found Steve there. Sam didn’t really have any idea what she looked like until she saw Steve’s face. He bolted up out of his chair, staring at her as they wheeled her back into place. As groggy as she still was, it was clear that whatever he saw, he was horrified. “Oh my God, Sammy, what happened? Were you in a car accident?” Sam realized she’d have to repeat the whole story over again. She was so tired.

  He came over to hold her good hand as she looked at him and said simply, “George.” Steve’s face crumpled.

  “Oh my God, Sam. I should have been there, I should have been with you. Oh Sammy, I am so sorry.” He looked at her with horror, “He did this to you?”

  “Mmmhmm.” She said and felt the emotion of it all start welling up again as she started silently crying. Steve stood there and cooed, stroking her hand until she sniffled exhaled.

  “Do the police know?” Sam nodded. “Did they arrest him?” Sam shrugged.

  “Steve, I’m so tired, itsth stho hard for me to talk. Do you mind going and taking care of the boysth? They know you, they like you.”

  “Shhh, shhh, yes, I’ll go feed them and then I’ll come right back. Are you sure you want me to go though? I could wait here, stay with you…”

  Sam tried to smile again, each time forgetting how much it hurt. “There’sth nothing you can do here Steve. And I’m stho tired. I just want to sthleep.”

  “Ok, I’ll go take care of them, and then I’m coming right back. I’ll be here when you wake up.” Sam could see the pain on Steve’s face and wished she didn’t need to ask him to do this, wished he weren’t seeing her like this. But the drugs made her loopy and she couldn’t worry too much.

  “Mmm, thank you.” Sam could feel herself drifting off. She was so tired and so sore. She just wanted to sleep for a little. Just sleep.

  Sam’s dreams were violent and painful. She was struggling and fighting and trying to get away from someone, a faceless man, and the more she pulled away, the more this man pulled on her arm. Even in her dreams her arm throbbed. Then she heard a voice tell her to relax, give in, stop fighting. But she couldn’t. She had to fight, she had to resist. But the voice was so calm, so sweet, she was so tired of fighting. Maybe if she just relaxed for a moment, so she did, and then the calm voice became a horrific terrifying laugh, and the moment she relaxed, her arm was ripped clean off, and Sam watched blood pour out of her shoulder and thought, ‘this is what happens when you give in, Sam. You give in, you die.’

  When Sam did finally wake up, she tried to open her eyes, but only one would, and even that one was having a heck of a time opening and adjusting. Her mouth was dry, so dry. She tried to lick her lips, but they were all swollen and cracked, and just that little movement hurt. Her shoulder was still throbbing, but even with all this pain, she felt her good hand being held and stroked.

  She struggled to open her one good eye, expecting to see Steve, remembering he was the last person she saw last night before she fell asleep, but instead of Steve, she found Laurent. Sitting, staring at her, stroking her hand. She blinked to make sure what she was seeing was real, she squeezed his hand and he squeezed hers back, then lifted it to his lips and kissed it, holding it there for a moment.

  The last time Sam had seen Laurent, he had walked out of their hotel room in New York. She truly never thought he’d ever want to see her again. She knew she’d betrayed him, yet here he was. All she could think to say was a whisper.

  “I’m sthorry. I’m stho sthorry, Laurent.” And then the tears started pouring out of her eyes, which was literally like adding salt to her wounds, it stung so much in her bad eye, but she couldn’t stop sobbing and shaking and mumbling, “I’m stho sthorry.”

  He stroked her hair and carefully wiped away her tears as he tried to comfort her, “Shhh, Cheri, shhh.”

  As much as Sam loved that he was there, seeing him just made her feel worse, more depressed, more upset. Seeing him almost hurt more than all the physical pain that she felt.

  “What are you doing here? How did you know I wasth here?”

  “Do you remember calling me last night, warning me?” she nodded. “I couldn’t really understand your message, but I
knew something was obviously wrong, so I called back and Steve answered your phone. He told me as much as he knew.” She nodded again, just staring at him still in disbelief that he was really there.

  Dr. Hernandez walked in, “Ms. Davis, good morning, how are you feeling?”

  Sam tried to smile, but winced, it still hurt. “I’ve been better.” She tried to joke. Her mind felt a little more clear than last night, but the pain was so bad, “It still hurts a lot.”

  “Well, that’s to be expected. Your body’s been through quite a bit.” Sam noticed Laurent stiffen after the doctor said that. “The good news is, your head CT only shows a mild concussion. No bleeding on the brain.” Again, Sam tried to smile. If that was good news, the bar was obviously set pretty low.

  “We won’t know if there’s been any vision impairment until the swelling goes down, and by the looks of things, that’s going to be a while. But based on where it looks like the impact was, I’m guessing your skull took the brunt of the impact, which is also good news. But we’ll get an ophthalmologist to look at it once they can get in there to make sure.” Sam nodded.

  “Your shoulder was dislocated, pulled clean out of its socket.” Again, she felt Laurent tense. “But you’re lucky, there was amazingly very little tissue damage. It’s probably partly due to the fact that you keep yourself in such good shape, your muscles are strong and that definitely helps in a situation like this. It’s going to be painful, but we’re going to pop it back in, and then you’ll be in a sling for 6-8 weeks, but we don’t feel you need surgery.” Sam just nodded again.

  “So, I know you may not feel lucky, but, given everything, this is all very good news.”

  Sam’s voice was so quiet, she started to speak but both the doctor and Laurent leaned in. She cleared her throat and started again, “Thank you.” She said with a rasp, “So, what are the next steps? When can I go home?”

  Dr. Hernandez smiled, “Like I said, Sam, you’ve been through a lot. And after we relocate your shoulder, you’re not going to feel like going anywhere any time soon. So let’s plan on you staying tonight, and we’ll see how you’re feeling tomorrow, ok? But my guess is that you’re going to be with us for a couple of days. We just need to be 100% that you’re out of the woods.” Sam nodded. For once, she didn’t feel like fighting. She couldn’t imagine going home right now.

  “Doctor?” Sam asked. Dr. Hernandez turned around. “Can I get up and go to the bathroom?”

  “Yes, I’ll get a nurse to help you.”

  “That won’t be necessary, I’ll help her.” Laurent said, his tone making it clear that he didn’t want anyone else helping.

  “Laurent, I don’t want you to see me like that.” Like she hadn’t suffered enough already, the thought of Laurent seeing her relieve herself, she didn’t need that.

  “Samantha, could you please not argue with me and let me take care of you.” It wasn’t really a question, but he said it with such exasperation, such resignation, and Sam didn’t have any energy to argue. She just nodded. The doctor saw that and left them alone.

  “I don’t know why you’d want to help me, after what I did to you.” Sam was about to start crying again.

  “Samantha, not now, please, not now. Ok? We can talk about all of that later. Right now, let’s get you to the bathroom, ok?” Sam wasn’t sure she had ever heard him like this. She wasn’t quite sure she could put it into words but the best way to describe what he sounded like was disappointed. She couldn’t blame him. He had every right to be disappointed in her. Lord knows she was beyond disappointed in herself. Every day since he left her in New York, she was disappointed with the person she saw in the mirror.

  “Ok.” Again, she didn’t have the energy to argue or do much of anything.

  Laurent lowered the side of the bed and helped her out. Once she got her footing, he held her good arm as they walked slowly to the bathroom. He helped her sit down on the toilet and saw her looking at the door, and then back at him. He just shook his head and then said, “Samantha, I have seen every inch of your body. Now is not the time to be modest. I’ll turn around, but I’m not leaving this bathroom.”

  Sam had lost all sense of modesty. She realized, in situations like this, there really was no point. It took her a moment to relax and then finally she felt the release, listening to the sound of her pee while she stared at the bathroom floor and the back of Laurent, wondering how she ended up here. No, she didn’t really wonder. She knew exactly how she got there. She sighed and willed herself not to start crying again. When she was finished, she used her good arm to steady herself on the metal bar to her right and stood up, turned around and flushed the toilet. She walked over to the sink to wash her hands and for the first time looked in the mirror and gasped. Laurent rushed to her side.

  She had no idea what she looked like, she had no idea she looked so bad, so disfigured. Her left eye was so swollen it was the size of a golf ball. Her lip was split and puffy. Her skin was bruised and red.

  Laurent was quick to come around behind her, holding her up as she stared in horror at her reflection. “Oh my God, I had no idea.” She chuckled, and looked at him in the reflection, “And I was worried about you seeing me on the toilet. Little did I know what you’d been looking at.”

  Laurent gently kissed the back of her head and said, “Come, let’s get you back to bed.” He turned her around and they walked slowly back. Sam couldn’t believe how exhausting this little trip to the bathroom was. Once she got back in bed she let out another huge sigh.

  It was both odd and completely normal having Laurent at her bedside. Though she knew the sad reality was that this was temporary. She had no right to expect him to be there for her. She was grateful that he was, but she was convinced that after he made sure she could get around on her own, that would probably be the last time she’d see him. It would probably have been better if he hadn’t come in the first place. It was just going to open old wounds, not that the scab had ever really formed. She wondered if a hurt so deep would ever subside. Even now that she had physical wounds, nothing hurt as much as losing him. And she had no one to blame but herself. She was so worried about her business that she lost her one and only true love. Like the saying goes, she had no idea what she had lost until it, he, was gone. But she couldn’t think about that now. There was no point, and, by the looks of things, she’d have plenty of time sitting around where she could think ad nausea.

  “Did George try to come after you?” Sam asked, worried that, besides everything else she screwed up that she could possibly put him in danger.

  Laurent shook his head, “No. But I’ve increased security at The Network and my house.”

  Sam nodded, “Good.” She wasn’t sure what else to say. At that moment, the police knocked on her door.

  “Ms. Davis, how are you feeling?” Officer Hsu asked.

  “Ok, thanks. Did you catch him?” Sam asked hopefully.

  “Unfortunately, no. Officers were dispatched to his office last night after you called it in, but he had already fled. But we were able to completely document the scene, so we have plenty of evidence of the struggle.”

  Laurent reacted angrily quickly getting out of the chair and asking, “This is not evidence enough?!” pointing at Sam.

  Both officers immediately placed their hands protectively on their guns and straightened. This time Officer McCallister spoke, “Sir, we understand you’re upset. What my partner meant was, being able to document the crime scene with Ms. Davis’s blood and Mr. LaRue’s finger prints in her blood, evidence like that simply completes the picture and makes for a better case against him,” she paused, “when we catch him.”

  “You won’t catch him.” Laurent stated flatly and sat back down, taking Sam’s hand back into his.

  “And why is that?” Officer McCallister asked suspiciously.

  “He has dual citizenship between here and France. If I had to bet, he was on a flight last night out of the country. France won’t waste their time extraditing
him for a case like this.”

  “You obviously know the suspect, Mr. uh” Officer McCallister asked as she took out her notepad.

  “Mr. Román. And yes, I know him. Unfortunately.”

  “Did you have anything to do with what happened to Ms. Davis last night?” Sam watched as they asked this question, they both had their hands on their guns waiting for him to react. She could see his face turn red. She thought if she closed her eyes, she would be able to smell the smoke coming out of his ears.

  Laurent was still. He had Sam’s hand in his and very calmly looked at her even though he was answering them and said, “No, I did not have anything to do with what happened last night to Ms. Davis. I love Ms. Davis.” The officers weren’t especially moved by what he just said, but Sam just about died hearing those words come from his mouth. Her eyes welled up again and tears started once again pouring out.

  “Ok, thank you, Mr. Román, Ms. Davis. If we hear anything, we’ll be in touch.” They turned to leave, leaving Sam and Laurent alone.

  Sam was a mess. She was crying, and through the sobs asked, “How can you love me, after I ruined everything? I don’t deserve you. I was such an idiot, so stupid.” Sam cried as she babbled. She felt the tears and snot running down her face. She was so emotional she didn’t even care. She loved that he was there, she loved hearing what he just said, but she hated herself. After what she had done, she couldn’t believe that he could possibly love her. She couldn’t accept that she would ever again be good enough for him.

  Laurent just looked at her with a sad smile and shook his head, “You certainly haven’t made it easy, Cheri.” He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it again, holding it to his lips, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply. When he opened them, he asked, “do you know what I felt when I got your message last night, and then, talking to Steve and hearing that you were here, and it was because of George.” He paused, taking another deep breath, “and then seeing you like this, knowing that George did this to you?” he shook his head like he was trying to erase a painful memory.