Moments Lost and Found

by Olivia Jake

  He laughed, “Nothing is simple with you, Samantha. You have to do everything your own way.” They both laughed. Then he tenderly held her hand and slid the ring on her finger right above her grandmother’s wedding band. It fit perfectly, like it was meant to be there. Like that band had been waiting all this time to be completed.

  He stood up and kissed her tenderly, her lips still swollen and sore, he stroked her hair and looked at her shaking his head, “Samantha” was all he said as he placed feather light kisses all over her face, at least on all the places he could, minding her still swollen shut left eye. He pulled back and said, “you know, we still have a lot to talk about, Cheri.”

  She nodded, “I know. I know we need to talk. But now, you can’t just walk out and make me decide or choose on my own.” She held up her hand, showing the ring to him, “This, this means that you stay and we discuss. Ok?”

  He nodded, “Yes, I know.”

  “And we might not always agree on things.” She said which made him immediately spit out laughing, a very un-Laurent like move.

  “That, Cheri, just might be the understatement of the year.”

  CHAPTER 28

  Sam stayed two more days in the hospital. As much as she wanted to go home, even she admitted that she was in pretty bad shape.

  Steve came back to check in on Sam. When he walked in the room, what Sam saw next made her question if her pain meds were still playing tricks on her. Laurent got up out of his chair to meet Steve half way. He put his hands on Steve’s shoulders and kissed him on each cheek then pulled a stunned Steve into a hug.

  “Thank you for taking care of her while I was away.” Laurent said to Steve, who wasn’t sure if Laurent was referring to the time that they were broken up or what. This was the same man who had barely even acknowledged Steve’s presence over the past year. Steve just nodded and Laurent said, “I’m going to go make a few phone calls, I’ll be right back.”

  Laurent walked over to Sam, leaned down to kiss her forehead and whispered, “I’ll be right back, Cheri.” Sam smiled and nodded as she watched him walk out, then turned her attention to a shell-shocked Steve and chuckled.

  “Who was that?” Steve asked as he walked over to her. Before Sam could answer, for the second time in as many minutes, Steve was shell-shocked as he looked down at the huge rock on her hand.

  “Oh. My. God! Sammy! What the hell is that!?!?” he shrieked as he lifted her hand to stare at her ring.

  “The nurses are giving them away to their best patients.” Sam kidded.

  “Sam, you are an even worse patient than you are a liar! Is that really what I think it is? You, Sam Davis, are engaged? To be married?”

  Sam laughed, “It’s that unbelievable?” and then they both laughed together, nodding, agreeing that it was, indeed.

  “I never told you that he left this for me in New York on my birthday. He was going to ask me then. But, well, you know the rest.” Sam said sheepishly.

  Steve just shook his head, still staring at the ring. “You know, Sam, you are one of the toughest, strongest people I know…”

  “But?”

  “But, I, I wasn’t sure if you were going to come out of it.” Steve said, now looking directly into her eyes, and as he did, his eyes started to fill with tears. “Awww, shit Sam, now look at me.” They both laughed and then fell silent for a moment.

  “And now, now you think I’m going to be ok?” Sam asked softly.

  Steve nodded. “I know you don’t want to think that it’s because of a man, and it’s not. It’s because of him and what he means to you, you know that, right?”

  Sam swallowed and nodded, “I think I do. You know how hard it is for me to accept.” At which Steve rolled his eyes. “Laurent was right, Steve. Thank you for taking care of me. I know I haven’t been easy to be around.”

  “You can make it up to me by promising to never break up with that man again. I’ve already gone through it twice with you. I don’t think I could handle a third time.”

  They both laughed and Sam nodded, “It’s a deal.”

  A few hours after Steve left, Craig stopped by. Obviously, Laurent had told him what happened. When he walked in, his expression said it all. In all the months of training that Sam had with him, she’d never seen him lose his cool. He was always so professional. But he couldn’t hide his emotions when he saw her. He actually stopped just inside the doorway to take it all in, and then, once he processed it, he came to her bedside.

  “How ya feeling, Sam?” he asked.

  She smiled. “You should see the other guy.” Which made him smile, even though she was sure he knew the whole story from Laurent.

  The poor guy looked so pained to see her like this. Sam knew he must have seen much, much worse in combat. “I’m ok, Craig, honest. And I wouldn’t be this good if it weren’t for you. Thank you for everything you taught me.”

  “Just doing my job, Sam.” She could tell he somehow felt responsible, like he had in some way let her down. He looked at her, but then his eyes fell to the floor, a more comfortable place for the to rest.

  “Craig, don’t look like that. Seriously, you saved me from this being a lot worse.”

  “Well, I… God, I don’t know what to say. I’d love to find the asshole who did this.”

  Sam smiled, “You and me both.”

  “When you’re better, we’ll get back to lessons. Now that you’ve experienced…” he trailed off. “Sorry, that’s probably the last thing you want to think about.”

  “No, actually, I like that thought. And you’re right, now that I’ve actually experienced a real attack, I want to get better, learn more.” Sam said, trying to encourage him, to let him know it was ok to say the words. But it was clear, the guy felt bad.

  “Hey, Craig, honestly, you must have seen much worse in your time in the military.” Sam asked as she reached out for his hand, which he actually took and nodded.

  He swallowed and then said, “I’ve seen things that I wish I could forget, that’s for sure. But it’s combat. You expect it, kind of. I, shit, Sam, I’ve never seen any of my students actually hurt. I can’t help but feel like I failed you.”

  “Awww, Craig, you didn’t fail me. Like I said, it would have been a lot worse.” Sam assured him and he nodded. Thankfully, Laurent walked in, and they exchanged a strong handshake, and then, Laurent pulled Craig into one of those ‘man-hugs’ where he still was holding on to his hand, but slapped him on his back.

  “Craig, thank you.” Laurent said earnestly when they released. It was clear he knew just how bad it could have been.

  Craig nodded and smiled a tight lipped smile. “Well, I’ll just leave you two…” he looked down at the ground, still shaken. Then he looked at Sam and said, “Like I said, Sam, when you’re better and ready, we’ll pick up where we left off.”

  Sam nodded, “You won’t be able to keep me away. Thank you again, Craig.” He nodded again, looked at Laurent and gave one of those silent nods of appreciation, and then quietly walked out.

  When they released her, Laurent took her to his house. He didn’t ask her, and she wasn’t going to argue. Not that she didn’t think about protesting. Her knee-jerk reaction was worry that she’d seem needy and dependent on his help. Which she was. Getting around with one arm and one eye was a struggle. It was do-able, but everything was done at a much slower pace. Sam always appreciated what she had, but after what she went through, her limited mobility reminded her of how much she had to be thankful for.

  And Sam couldn’t have asked for a more thoughtful, considerate, doting, overprotective caretaker than Laurent. He barely let her move without his help. Max and Ben enjoyed the new surroundings, exploring and sniffing everything. Laurent made it clear who the alpha dog was, setting boundaries and enforcing them. That first week, he took care of everything. He worked from home so that he could care for Sam, much to her protestations. Every meal was taken care of, he drew her baths, fed and walked her boys… there wasn’t anything Sam ne
eded to do that he didn’t tend to. Which was lovely. But after a week, Sam needed to get back to some sense of normalcy, she wanted to get back to what she and Laurent had. Because as nice and caring as this was, she couldn’t help but feel that he pitied her.

  More than that, she missed their relationship. As loving as he was being, there was a stiffness, a certain distance. They still weren’t back to their old selves. He was still treating her with kid gloves, seemingly afraid she was going to break or fall to pieces if they had a real discussion. Not to mention that they hadn’t yet been intimate. She knew he was afraid of hurting her arm, but she was starting to worry that it was more than that. That because of what George tried that Laurent didn’t want to touch her. Whenever she would sidle up to him in bed, he would caress her gently and then bid her good night, giving her a chaste kiss on the top of her head, making it clear that nothing was going to happen. This was not what she wanted to come back to.

  She also had to get out of the house. The cabin fever was starting to get to her. She needed to get back to the office to get her mind on something other than healing. Because the more she could only focus on healing, the more she focused on what happened. She knew that at some point, she needed to put that behind her and get on with her life.

  Sam made the first move. “Laurent, honey, you’ve been wonderful this past week. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

  “Samantha, honey, what are you really trying to say?” he smiled and joined her on the couch.

  “You yourself said we need to talk, and we do. But we haven’t yet. And it’s been a week. And if we’re going to get back to normal, to what we had, well, I have to stop being just your patient, and start being your girlfriend again.”

  “Fiancé.” He corrected her. That was the first time she heard that word and she flushed. It was odd hearing that word describing her.

  “Fiancé.” She repeated, and he seemed to soften.

  “Ok, Samantha, the floor is yours.”

  Not surprisingly, Sam started with the easier subject: work. “I’m feeling better and better, and I need to get back to work.” Sam paused and Laurent grimaced. “I’ll take it slow, but I want to check in on things, I need to, Laurent.” She paused and then added, “And, I need to talk with whomever is heading up TimeCap now and resign the account.” He raised his eyebrows, but before he could speak she added, “And I need to hire a lawyer to sue their asses.”

  “You’re going to have to get in line.” He said smugly. Sam knitted her brows, confused. Laurent started to explain. “Once I found out that George was their new CEO, and that he chose your agency for their rebrand, it was all too close to home. I couldn’t believe that it was just coincidence, so I started digging.” Sam tried to be offended at the suggestion that she didn’t win the account on merit, but even she knew, by now, that it had nothing to do with the work. All George ever seemed interested in was getting to Laurent.

  “When I started The Network, I patented the distribution technology. I also had NDAs and put non-compete deals and into place with key executives. Right after George started, our head of technology began noticing increasing hacking attempts. They were very well hidden, in today’s day and age, nothing can be completely buried. We found that all of the attempts came from the same IP address: someone at TimeCap. Then, they poached a few key execs, doubling their salaries in order to get inside information. There are a few other pieces my investigators are putting into place, but suffice to say that when I am through with them, there will be no more TimeCap.”

  “Then I should file my suit quickly.” Sam teased.

  “We will work together to make sure that you are compensated for what their CEO did to you.”

  “Tried to do, Laurent.”

  “Samantha, how can you —“

  Sam cut him off. “Laurent, he hurt me a little bit, but all of this,” Sam gestured to her face, her shoulder, “all of that will heal.” She took a deep breath knowing this next part of the conversation would not be easy, or pleasant. But he opened the door, and she needed to get this off her chest. “Laurent, when I said I need us to get back to normal, I meant in every way.” She reached out for his hand. “You haven’t touched me since I’ve been here. You barely even look at me when I’m naked.” Sam started getting teary, and her voice cracked when she said, “I feel like you think George made me dirty, like what he tried to do ruined me for you.”

  The expression on his face wasn’t clear. Sam wasn’t sure if it was more pity, which was exactly what she didn’t want, or just unease with the topic, or both. “Oh, Samantha,” he trailed off, shaking his head. “I don’t think you’re dirty, Cheri. I, I…”

  “What Laurent? What is it? You can’t even get the words out you’re so disgusted by me!” Sam’s emotions got the best of her, which was starting to become the new normal for her. All the more reason she had to get out of the house and out of her head. But until that happened, she was one big ball of angst, and she was convinced she was right, and now Laurent could never want her again.

  “Cheri, please, just listen. I’m not disgusted by you. I love you so much. I’m just so afraid that if we try, that, well, that it’s going to just bring back horrible memories for you. I’m so worried that you’re going to relive what happened, and I don’t want to do that to you, I don’t want to bring you back there in your mind.”

  Sam heard what he said, and it actually did make sense. She wasn’t completely sure she believed him yet, her emotions were still so raw and fragile. But there was only one way to find out. “Laurent, don’t you understand that I could never, ever associate you touching me with what that monster did? And, the longer we wait, the more that the memory of what he did stays with me. It happened. I can’t change that. But I want to move on. I want to erase it. I want to think of your hands on my body. I need you to touch me. I need to know that you still want me. The longer we go without being together, the more he wins, by keeping us apart.”

  Laurent looked deeply into her eyes as if trying to see if he could tell that this was really what was best for her. He moved closer to her and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand and smiled ever so slightly. Then he leaned in and kissed her tenderly on the lips, still cautious of her emotions and her split lip. It was mostly on the mend, but still, he was careful as he deepened their kiss. It was obvious by the way that her mouth reacted to his that she wanted this. Her soft moans reinforced what her lips and tongue told him. He put his hands on her hips and lifted her carefully onto his lap so that she was straddling him, never breaking their kiss, but he could feel her smile under his lips. When they finally broke apart they were both panting. Laurent spoke first, “God, I’ve missed you Samantha.” She smiled down at him, and rubbed her crotch against his already hard cock as he started to unbutton her blouse.

  “Oh God Laurent, you have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”

  Laurent smiled that sexy mischievous smile of his, “God Laurent. I like the sound of that.” He teased and then leaned up to kiss her again. Flirty Frenchman was back, and Sam vowed to never, ever again let him go.

  EPILOGUE

  Sam had never wanted to get married. She was never one of those girls who dreamed about it. Never imagined herself in the white dress walking down the aisle. Never bought the wedding magazines or doodled some man’s last name next to her own. It was never even on her radar much less a goal or something she aspired to. It all just seemed so superficial, like it was all about the wedding. More than that, like those girls who dreamed about it were dreaming of a knight in shining armor coming to save them, and that once they were married then they could just sit back and let the man in their lives take care of everything. Sam never wanted that.

  But a funny thing happened once she fell in love with Laurent. She realized that it was ok to want it. She had already proven that she could take care of herself. But now that they were finally, officially together, it wasn’t an either / or. It was both. For the first time in Sam’
s life, she knew that it was ok to relax knowing that Laurent could, and did take care of her. She finally, reluctantly, accepted that being taken care of wasn’t being weak, it was being loved.

  Looking back, Sam was grateful that she didn’t meet Laurent until she was ‘older’. As hard as it was for her to finally embrace the idea of a relationship when she did, she was sure that if she had met him when she were in her 20s or early 30s, they would never have made it. By the time they met, Sam knew who she was as a businesswoman. But it took a man like Laurent to help her get to know who she was as a woman. To the outside world, calling a man like Laurent “patient” sounded either absurd or pathetic or both. But Sam knew that’s exactly what he was with her. Just as she understood the total man, all the sides that no one else saw, he understood her. He knew the woman that he fell in love with, even if she didn’t know exactly who that was yet. And he knew not to give up on her. So he waited, and gave her the space she needed to screw up, and to say no, and to leave. He wasn’t omniscient, but he knew, in his heart, that they would end up together. Mostly, because they had to. As screwed up as they might have been, they were perfect for each other. And they came along at the right time for each other. He knew this. It took Sam a little while longer, but eventually, she got there. Without compromising who she was, or what she valued, she got there. And neither of them would have had it any other way.

  Laurent had never wanted to get married either, but for very different reasons than Samantha’s. All of the women in his past were playthings, arm pieces, sex partners… there wasn’t any good, acceptable term, but that’s what they were. It wasn’t his intention to objectify them, but he never wanted much more from anyone than a warm, willing body, not that he’d admit that to anyone, not even Samantha. He had intimated on several occasions that what they had together was very different than any relationship in his past, but she’d never know just how different. Looking back, the judgment he had on himself was bad enough. He couldn’t bear to hear her views of how he used women solely for his pleasure.