When All Is Said and Prayed

by E. N. Joy

  On their wedding night, still a virgin, Paige couldn’t wait to consummate her marriage. But it never happened. Well, they eventually consummated their marriage, but not on their wedding night. This hurt Paige to the core. She’d always felt that Blake was very much attracted to her, big bones, extra meat, and all. Though he had desired her, during their courtship, he’d respected her wish to remain a virgin until she was married. Still, he’d lusted after her with his eyes. She’d felt so wanted and desired. He’d looked at her like she was the only woman in the world.

  Paige had been so grateful that her best friend at the time, Tamarra, had hooked them up. Well, not at first, since Paige had been none the wiser that her meeting Blake had all been a setup. He’d shown up at her job at the movie theater where she and Norman used to work together. He had supposedly been on a blind date or something. But the date had been a no-show. Paige had just thought it was by chance that the two of them had run into one another and had connected. She had truly thought it had been a divine setup by God. She came to find that Tamarra had met Blake at some catering gig she’d done. Tamarra had given him all the 411 on Paige, and Blake had taken it from there.

  By the time Paige found out that her meeting with Blake wasn’t as divine a setup as she’d initially thought, she was already head over heels in love with him and had exchanged wedding vows. Forgiving the two for their little scam was the easy part. The hard part was forgiving them for having slept with one another . . . twice. The first time was on the very day Tamarra and Blake met one another. The second time was just hours before Paige and Blake were married.

  This explained to Paige why her man couldn’t touch her on their wedding night. He’d already given himself to her best friend. Tamarra swore that those were the only times they’d been together sexually, but everything had started out with so many lies that deep down inside Paige didn’t even believe that was true.

  Once Paige became Blake’s wife, she was still in the dark, but the guilt of having been with Paige’s best friend ate Blake alive. Keeping such a secret caused him a lot of aggravation. Then, on top of that, he was overwhelmed with work. In Paige’s eyes, he became a changed man, for the worse. It only made matters worse when his estranged mother sued him for most of his life savings. She claimed that when Blake’s father passed, all his money should have gone to her since the two had never officially divorced, yet Blake had received it. It was a mess, as it took Blake back to a painful childhood, one in which he’d been abandoned by his mother. He grew more bitter and angrier, and he took all his frustrations out on Paige, resorting to verbal assault, physical assault, then finally sexual assault.

  Blake had turned into a monster. So when Blake’s so-called estranged mother shared with Paige that she wasn’t even Blake’s real mother, that his biological mother, her husband’s mistress, had left him at the hospital, Paige kept that to herself. She knew in her spirit that would be the thing to push him into the deep end, as if he hadn’t already been drowning to begin with. When Blake showed up at Paige’s place of employment, calling her names and harassing her, she wanted to hurt him as much as his words were hurting her. So she let it rip that the woman he’d paid all that money to in a lawsuit wasn’t even his real mother. Outraged, and wanting to one-up Paige, Blake blurted out that he’d been with her best friend.

  Paige’s happily ever after had turned into a happily ever never real quick. Norman had been her saving grace, making her believe in love again . . . believe in marriage again. But then he was taken from her. She knew that real love did exist and could last a lifetime. That was evident in Mr. and Mrs. Vanderdale’s marriage, but what she didn’t believe was that it could happen for her.

  “Paige, honey,” Mrs. Vanderdale said, resting her hand on Paige’s shoulder. “You’re gonna find true love again.” Mrs. Vanderdale had read the expression on Paige’s face. “You’re young, you’re beautiful, and you’re healthy. I know you stopped working to be a stay-at-home mom for the girls.”

  With the money Paige had from the divorce settlement with Blake and the money she received from Social Security as a result of Norman’s death, on top of Norman’s life insurance policy and his inheritance, she and her girls were pretty much set for life. She had taken advantage of that by quitting her job at the theater and staying home to raise them.

  “But now both girls are in school all day,” Mrs. Vanderdale continued. “You don’t just have to sit up at home all the time.”

  “I don’t just stay at home,” Paige said, begging to differ. “I go to church. I go to choir practice. I volunteer at the girls’ school. And you know the girls are going to start taking classes at that dance school that Lorain’s twins go to.”

  “Lorain?” Mrs. Vanderdale thought for a moment. She couldn’t recall who Lorain was. “Does she attend New Day?”

  “She’s not a member anymore, but she does attend every now and then,” Paige said. “She’s the one married to the doctor.”

  From the expression on Mrs. Vanderdale’s face, Paige knew that none of this was ringing a bell.

  “I sang at her wedding, when she renewed her vows,” Paige added.

  “Oh, yes. I do remember her. Doesn’t her mother still attend New Day regularly, though?”

  “Miss Eleanor? Yes, indeed.” Paige shook her head just thinking about the antics of Lorain’s old-school mother.

  “That woman is a hoot.” Mrs. Vanderdale chuckled.

  “And then some,” Paige agreed.

  “But back to what I was saying,” Mrs. Vanderdale said. “Church, choir, a parent volunteer, and being a dance mom are all good, but what about you? What are you going to do for yourself for fun? And how do you ever expect to find someone to do it with if you’re always cooped up behind four walls?”

  Paige thought for a moment. Mrs. Vanderdale had a point. As long as Paige could remember, her mother had had a concern that Paige couldn’t be alone with herself. Paige’s mom would talk to her about getting to know herself and spending time with herself before she went jumping from man to man. Surely even her mother would have to agree that these past few years had been more than enough me time for Paige. She looked at Mrs. Vanderdale. “You know, Naomi, I think you just may have a point. Maybe it is time that I get out and experience new things. Meet new people.”

  Mrs. Vanderdale clapped her hands together. “See? That’s what I’m trying to hear.” She was delighted that Paige’s frown had turned into a confident smile.

  Perhaps it would be a cooking class, yoga, or painting, but Paige wasn’t sure exactly what new hobby she would take up in order to go out and meet people. Her mission wasn’t to go out there and find a man. She really didn’t have any female friends in her life, either, as she’d been afraid to let them in after her experience with Tamarra. Besides, when it came to a man, she didn’t have to go searching. One had found her a long time ago, but she just hadn’t been ready at the time. Well, now she was ready. The only thing was, was he?

  Chapter 6

  “H2J Photography,” Paige mumbled under her breath as she typed the very words she spoke into the search box on her computer. Within seconds all kinds of links, some with photos, popped up on the screen. Paige’s heart began to beat fast.

  After her talk with Mrs. Vanderdale yesterday, Paige decided that she was going to look up a guy she’d met years ago, when she’d arranged to have a family portrait taken of her and the girls. He’d been so flirty with her during the photo shoot, but he’d been a gentleman all the same. A gentleman who knew what he wanted, and he’d wanted Paige. He’d made that known when he eventually asked her out on a date.

  Paige had considered taking him up on his offer, but it had been during a time in her life when so much was going on. Life had just kept happening to Paige. It had been one thing after the other. She had thought she was going to keel over and die when she was notified by the prison clinic that Blake had tested positive for HIV. Paige had got tested more times than she could remember, and she had had her da
ughters tested as well. To God be the glory, each and every test had come back negative.

  Paige had ended up losing contact with the dashing photographer, but as fate would have it, she’d bumped into him again at the Vanderdales’. Samantha had mentioned wanting to do a photo shoot of the horses for a contest she was entering them in. Paige had shared the photographer’s business card with Samantha, and low and behold, she’d shown up at the Vanderdales’ one day, and he was there doing a photo shoot. This time Paige wasn’t about to let him slip through her fingers.

  The two had ended up connecting. Paige had truly been on the verge of committing herself to him, of letting another man into her life. But then life had happened again. Paige had received a letter from Blake’s attorney, notifying her that he was aware of Adele’s existence, that they had done the math and knew Adele had to be Blake’s child. Blake wanted custody.

  After having that bomb dropped on her, Paige couldn’t think about a man. The only thing she’d been concerned about at the time was protecting her child from that monster of an ex-husband of hers. She recalled the day she’d broken things off with her suitor. She had been certain that he would be finished with her forever, but surprisingly, he’d said something to Paige that made her feel like, just maybe, part of her destiny would be to end up with him.

  “So this is it . . . for now,” he said as he looked at Paige.

  “For now,” Paige confirmed. “But I believe with all my heart that when we meet again, just like always, we’re going to pick up right where we left off spiritually . . . and emotionally.”

  “And I believe that too. God says you are mine. Which is why you can take your time. Take all the time God will have you take.”

  “And you?”

  He looked into Paige’s eyes with those sexy eyes of his. “I’ll wait. It’s going to be unbearable, but I’ll wait.”

  As Paige dialed the number to the photography studio where he’d worked when she met him, she took a deep breath. She hoped he was a man of his word.

  When the person on the other end of the line picked up, Paige cleared her throat and asked, “May I speak to Ryan?”

  “Can you hold please?” said the receptionist who had answered the phone. Before Paige could reply one way or the other, the woman clicked a button and put her on hold.

  “Well, dang,” Paige said, pulling the phone away from her ear and looking at it as if she were looking at the woman. Paige rolled her eyes and then placed the phone back to her ear. If music weren’t playing, she would have wondered if the woman had hung up on her.

  She sat in her computer room in her home, tapping her nails against the shiny black desk. Instead of the typical wooden desk, Paige had gone for something more stylish, opting for a three-tiered design made of glass and sturdy plastic. Being annoyed by the receptionist allowed Paige to deflect the nervousness she was feeling at the prospect of talking to Ryan. She wasn’t sure if it was just pure anxiety or what. She and Ryan had always managed to pick up exactly where they had left off, just like old friends. But that was then and this was now.

  So much could have changed in his life in the past year and a half or so. Paige wasn’t seeing anyone, but that was because she’d been so busy with her two children. By the same token, Ryan had two sons. It was very likely that he had been just as busy with them. Ryan, too, had lost the love of his life, his sons’ mother, and was a single parent. He could relate to what Paige had gone through in losing Norman. Therefore, he had never pressed or prodded. He had allowed Paige to do everything at her own pace. If she’d needed a time-out, he’d given it to her without argument, keeping the faith that if the two of them were meant to be together, then God would see to it that it was so.

  That thought alone put a smile on Paige’s face.

  Almost two years was a long time, though. Raising kids was a hard job. What if he had gotten impatient with waiting on Paige and had found someone else? A feeling of horror came over Paige when it hit her spirit that there was a chance that Ryan had even married. How humiliating would that be? Her going after a married man?

  “What am I doing?” Paige asked herself out loud, prepared to hang up the phone.

  “I’m sorry about your wait,” the receptionist said, returning to the line. “How can I help you?”

  “I, uh . . .” Paige wanted to make up a lie but was immediately convicted by just the thought of telling a lie, let alone actually allowing it to come out of her mouth. “Well . . .” She was just going to hang up the phone in the woman’s ear, but then she realized that some businesses had caller ID nowadays. She didn’t know if the woman would call her back. How embarrassing would that be? Paige thought about perhaps telling the woman that she’d dialed the wrong number.

  When the receptionist had answered the phone, she’d clearly said the words “H2J Photography.” That was exactly the business that Paige had meant to call, so that still would be a lie. Ugh! There was no way out of this mess.

  The receptionist helped Paige solve her dilemma when she said, “Oh, yeah. You’re on hold for Ryan, right?”

  Paige opened her mouth. No words came out. She still had no idea how she was going to let this thing play out.

  “Hello?” the receptionist said through the phone receiver. “Are you still there?”

  Paige wanted to say no. But that would be stupid, on top of being a lie. “Uh, yes, I am still here,” she said, clearing her throat.

  “And you asked to speak with Ryan, correct?” the woman said, reiterating. Paige could hear another phone begin to ring in the background. “I just want to make sure. It’s spring. High school students are blowing us up for senior pictures. Can you hold just one more time?” the woman said. Before Paige could respond, she said, “Oh, never mind. They hung up. Anyway, about Ryan . . . He no longer works here. Well, he works for H2J Photography. He’s just running his own office out in Hilliard. I can give you that number if you wanted Ryan specifically. If this Columbus location is better, we’d be happy to serve you.”

  “I want Ryan,” Paige blurted out, and she meant that in more ways than one.

  “Oh, okay,” the woman said as her other line began ringing again. “I’m sorry. Please hold just one more second. I need to take this call, and then I’ll give you the number to our new Hilliard location.”

  “Oh,” was all Paige could get out in her effort to tell the receptionist that was okay, as once again, she put her on hold, whether Paige liked it or not. Within a few seconds, though, Paige heard the woman click back over. That few seconds was just the amount of time Paige needed to gather something to write on and with.

  “Okay,” the woman sighed. “The number is 614-555-5555.”

  “Thank you for all your help. You have a good day.”

  “You too,” the woman said, ending the call.

  Paige hung up and stared at the phone number she’d written down. Once again her nerves started to get the best of her. “Just call him, already,” she coached herself. “What do you have to lose?” She thought for a few seconds. “Only my dignity,” she declared with a sigh. She twisted her lips up. “Child, you are the same woman who got arrested in her bath towel before. Your dignity went out with the bathwater.” Paige had to laugh at that comment herself.

  Although it had been years ago, Paige remembered being arrested and thrown into jail as if it was yesterday. She’d gotten into it with Blake’s estranged sister, who had been supporting their mother in her lawsuit against Blake. Miss Thing had talked so much trash from across that conference room table that before Paige knew it, she had that girl’s weave clutched in her fist. Charges of assault were pressed against Paige, which led to a warrant for her arrest. It just so happened that when the police came to arrest Paige, she’d been enjoying a long, hot bubble bath. Wearing only her bath towel, Paige had been escorted from her home for all her neighbors to see. Yep, it was safe to say that on that day her dignity was no more. So what did she have to lose by calling Ryan in the comfort of her own home? No
thing.

  With that final thought, Paige began to dial the number that the receptionist had given her. Before she could dial the last numeral, the doorbell rang. Paige made a puzzled face. She wasn’t expecting company. The girls were in school, so it couldn’t be one of their playmates coming to see if they could come outside and play. Paige erased the call and placed her phone down. She stood up from the desk and placed the piece of paper with Ryan’s number in her pocket. The doorbell rang again as she made her way over to the door. She peeked through the peephole.

  “Miss Nettie?” she questioned.

  It wasn’t strange for Miss Nettie to come to Paige’s home. Ever since Adele was born, Miss Nettie had been like an official grandmother. She’d come over to help Paige with the girls, do laundry, prepare meals, whatever it took to make life easy for the Vanderdale kinfolk. Besides, Miss Nettie really cared for Paige. Paige was like the daughter she had never had and, being in her sixties, never would have.

  What was unusual, though, was that Miss Nettie had stopped by without calling first. Of course, the older woman was welcome to come to Paige’s home any day of the week. She’d just always given advance notice, was all.

  “Miss Nettie, it’s good to see you,” Paige said after opening the door. “I wasn’t expecting you, though.”

  “I know I usually put you on notice whenever I’m going stop through for a minute to help you out. But I’m not here to help you out,” Miss Nettie said, then looked downward.

  “Oh,” Paige said, confused and at the same time concerned. Miss Nettie was not one to cast her eyes away from a person when she had something to say to them. She was a “from the hip” kind of woman. That’s what Paige liked about her so much. She could always get the honest, unfiltered truth from Miss Nettie. “Well, come on in, Miss Nettie.” Paige moved to the side and allowed the thick woman to enter her home, then closed the door behind them. “Can I get you something to drink? Some half and half? Half tea and half lemonade?”