When All Is Said and Prayed

by E. N. Joy

  Miss Nettie shook her head and put up her hand. “No, no. I’m not thirsty.” She walked over to the couch and sat, staring down at the floor.

  Paige found herself staring down at the dark beige carpet. With two little ones running around and still in the stage of making messes, she’d chosen the darkest carpet she could find without making her entire living room look drab. The last thing she wanted was a pretty, light carpet with red Kool-Aid stains all over it. Paige appreciated how the lighter caramel-colored sofa set seemed to pull light into the room.

  Taking her eyes from the carpet to Miss Nettie, Paige said, “Okay then,” and clasped her hands together, not sure what to do or say next. Paige was even more concerned as she went and sat next to Miss Nettie on the couch. “So what is it, Miss Nettie? What brings you by?”

  Miss Nettie began bouncing her knee. “Like I said, I didn’t come to help you today.” She then looked up from the floor and into Paige’s eyes. “It’s your help I hope I can count on today.”

  “Sure. I’ll try,” Paige said. “What is it?”

  “Before I tell you,” Miss Nettie began, “you have to promise me one thing.” Miss Nettie had a desperate look on her face.

  “Sure, Miss Nettie.” Paige was now beyond concerned. Now she was worried. She’d never seen Miss Nettie in such a state before. “I promise,” Paige said before even knowing what she was promising.

  “You can’t tell Mrs. Vanderdale.”

  Chapter 7

  Paige stood up from the couch, abandoning her spot next to Miss Nettie. She wrung her hands together. She didn’t like the fact that Miss Nettie was asking her to keep something from Mrs. Vanderdale. She didn’t want to find herself in the middle of anything or have her loyalty to either woman tested.

  “I know she is your girls’ grandmother and is still like a mother-in-law to you,” Miss Nettie said, standing. “But I need you to promise me you’ll have hush-mouth grace about this, only because it could cost me my job.”

  Paige noticed the fear in Miss Nettie’s eyes. She looked as though she could lose everything that had ever mattered to her. As far as Paige knew, the Vanderdales were the only family Miss Nettie had. Even though Paige and Miss Nettie were close, Paige had never really pried into Miss Nettie’s past. She knew Miss Nettie had a criminal history and had served time in jail. She’d made mention of living a reckless life in her younger days but finding Jesus later in life. Not only had finding Jesus put her on the right path in life, but meeting Mr. Vanderdale, who had counseled her during her stint in jail, had played a role as well.

  “I’d work for that man for free,” Miss Nettie had said in the past. “Jesus saved my soul, but Mr. Vanderdale saved my life.”

  Mr. Vanderdale had received recognition for his past service in the community and in his field. Prior to joining the family business he had married into, which was a theater chain, Mr. Vanderdale had been referred to as the underground Dr. Phil of the Midwest. Mr. Vanderdale had been known as Dr. Vanderdale to most. He had received his doctorate in psychiatry and had practiced his profession mainly in the prison systems. He felt that if an effort was truly put forth, then the inmates could actually receive what they’d been placed in the prisons to receive: rehabilitation.

  Miss Nettie had been one of Mr. Vanderdale’s patients. He’d believed so much in her rehabilitation and her ability to function and thrive successfully in society without recidivism that he had hired her to work for him as the family’s live-in cook and housekeeper. She’d made both herself and Mr. Vanderdale proud.

  Not only did Miss Nettie not want to lose her job and the only family she had, but Paige surmised that the woman didn’t want to lose the respect of Mr. Vanderdale, either.

  “Miss Nettie, if it involves anything that could cause harm to someone, I don’t know if I can kee—”

  “Child, I’m old,” Miss Nettie interrupted. “Too old to be hurting anybody.” Miss Nettie’s eyes filled with glee. “But not too old for love.”

  Paige’s ears perked up. “Love?” She hurried to usher Miss Nettie back to the couch, and then the two women sat down again. “You’re in love?” Paige questioned. “But that’s a good thing. Why in the world would you want to keep the fact that you are in love from Mrs. Vanderdale?” Paige held up her hands, dumbfounded. Suddenly the sunshiny expression on her face was covered over with a dark cloud. “Unless it’s her husband you are in love with.”

  Paige let out a huge breath of air as she stood to her feet, covering her mouth. “Miss Nettie.” She put her hands on her hips. “You’re in love with Mr. Vanderdale? Good Lord!” Paige hit herself on the forehead. “I can’t believe this.” She hurried back over to Miss Nettie’s side. “How long has the affair been going on?” Mr. Vanderdale was a nice-looking older man, if she had to say so herself. He looked ten years younger than he actually was and had managed to keep in shape by riding horses with Samantha at least once a week, when the weather permitted. She could see how Miss Nettie might have wanted to get with him. After all, Paige had gotten with his son, who looked identical and was just a younger version.

  Miss Nettie smacked Paige a good one on the leg, as if giving her a spanking.

  “Ouch!” Paige began to rub her leg. “What was that for?”

  “For your mind taking up residence in the gutter. Now repent and go wash your mouth out with soap for even allowing that kind of filth to come out of it.” Miss Nettie pointed down the hall that led to the first-floor guest bathroom.

  “But I didn’t say it. You said it,” Paige said. “You said not to tell Mrs. Vanderdale that you are in love, because it’s her husband you are in love with.”

  “I said no such thing. That’s maybe what your mind heard, but it’s certainly not what I said.” Miss Nettie huffed and then turned her body away from Paige. She folded her arms and wrinkled her forehead. She was steaming.

  “Well, what was I supposed to think?” Paige asked. “Why else would you need to keep the fact that you are in love a secret from Mrs. Vanderdale? Why would she care as long as it ain’t her man?”

  Miss Nettie, exasperated, turned to face Paige. “There were certain conditions to the Vanderdales hiring me, to them hiring any staff member. There was no fraternizing with other members of the staff, you know, along with all the other stuff, like no stealing, no doing drugs, et cetera.”

  Paige nodded her understanding. Then a lightbulb went off. She snapped her fingers. “It’s Stuart. You’re in love with Stuart, the butler.” Paige then added excitedly, “That’s it, isn’t it?”

  Miss Nettie’s facial expression was a cross between stoic and guilty.

  “Ooh, I knew it.” Paige jumped up. “Mrs. Vanderdale said you and Stuart had been spending time together. Then Mr. Vanderdale asked if there was anything he should know about.”

  Miss Nettie jumped to her feet. She was horrified and agitated by the fact that Paige seemed to be so thrilled, as well as the fact that there was a chance Mr. and Mrs. Vanderdale had an inkling that she and Stuart were in a romantic relationship. “Mr. and Mrs. Vanderdale said that?” Worry laced her tone. “Oh, Lord, have mercy.” Miss Nettie put her hand on her chest. “They know. But we’ve been so discreet. At least I thought we had been.” She rushed over and took Paige’s hands in her own. “What else did they say? Did they mention firing us for breaking the rules?” Miss Nettie waited with bated breath for Paige to respond.

  Paige shook her head, feeling bad for the anxiety that was overtaking Miss Nettie. Being in love was a time to be happy, not worried. “No, Miss Nettie. As a matter of fact, they seemed pretty nonchalant about it, like they couldn’t care less.”

  Miss Nettie stared at Paige, waiting to see what else she could add to calm her nerves.

  “Miss Nettie, please.” Paige shook Miss Nettie’s sweaty palms. “Look at you. I’ve never seen you like this before. You’re in love. You should be on cloud nine.”

  “And I would be . . . I mean, I am. It’s just that there’s this big ole thu
ndercloud dangling itself on top of my cloud nine.” Miss Nettie looked down, shaking her head. “Oh, dear. What am I going to do?” She pulled her hands out of Paige’s and wiped them down her flower-printed dress.

  “You’re going to tell them. That’s what you’re going to do,” Paige told her. “Trust me, they are going to be happy for you. I mean, yeah, maybe in your earlier years they were worried about employees hooking up, breaking up, having to work together, which could cause tension on the job and all that drama. But you two are too old for all that drama now.”

  Miss Nettie threw her hands on her hips, stuck a foot out and stomped it, and looked at Paige with an attitude.

  “I didn’t mean old. I meant older,” Paige insisted. That was a quick cleanup on aisle six. “Here. Come sit down.” Paige walked Miss Nettie back over to the couch, and the two women sat down again. “I’m sure every now and then Mrs. Vanderdale sneaks off and watches one of those crazy reality shows with you.”

  Miss Nettie looked at Paige and zipped her lips with her thumb and index finger. Her lips were sealed one way or the other. Paige had a feeling that she was correct in her assumption.

  “Just mention it to her then. Let the chips fall where they may, but I’m telling you this, Miss Nettie. If you are in love, like you say you are, then that’s the most important thing. Life is short, and as we know, tomorrow definitely ain’t promised. Live your days in love, Miss Nettie. Yes?” Paige stared at Miss Nettie, her eyes watering.

  Paige’s little spiel had even brought tears to Miss Nettie’s eyes. Miss Nettie nodded and smiled. “Okay. I’ll tell her.”

  “Good.” Paige pulled Miss Nettie in for a hug. The two women embraced until Paige pulled out of the hug. She wiped her tears away and sniffed. “Now, you said something about needing my help.”

  “Oh, yeah,” Miss Nettie said, as if remembering the true reason she’d come to Paige’s house. “You’re pretty savvy with that Internet and all that Facemagazine stuff, right?”

  “Facemagazine?” Paige scrunched up her nose in confusion. “Oh, you mean Facebook.” Paige laughed.

  “Oh, girl, you know what I mean,” Miss Nettie said. “I don’t know anything about that stuff. You young people putting pictures up of everything from the polish color you put on your nails to the food you eat. Well, I be getting fed off the Bible, so post a picture of that. Humph.”

  “I hear you,” Paige said, her laughter vanishing so she could hear Miss Nettie out.

  “Anyway, I need your help with all that computer and Internet business. I was told that’s the best place to start searching.”

  “I have a laptop and a personal computer,” Paige told her. “What do you need help looking for?”

  “Oh, I don’t just want to look for ’em. I want to find ’em.”

  “What?” Paige asked.

  “It’s not a what. It’s a who,” Miss Nettie said, swallowing hard. “I need help finding my child.”

  Chapter 8

  “Miss Nettie,” Paige said, dumbfounded, “I didn’t even know you had children. I didn’t know you had any family.”

  Miss Nettie looked downward in shame. “Yeah, child, there’s a lot you don’t know about me. Things only God knows, and of course, now Stuart.” Miss Nettie stood again. “I do have some kinfolk, though. But I also have a child.”

  Paige remained seated on the couch. She was getting exhausted from bouncing up and down. She watched Miss Nettie walk back and forth across the living room as she spoke.

  “Stuart’s the one who told me I ought to go look for my offspring. I feel so bad because that’s a part of my past that I just completely blocked out. To be honest with you, up until the day I found Jesus, anything before that I don’t even like to count as part of my life. God knows, it wasn’t living. As a matter of fact, I should be dead now. But Jesus saw fit to get up on that cross and pay the price for me.” Miss Nettie raised her right hand to the heavens. “Hallelujah.”

  Paige watched Miss Nettie do a little two-step Holy Ghost dance. “Go on and praise Him, Miss Nettie,” Paige urged the older woman. Miss Nettie was dancing so hard, it made Paige want to get up and shout with her. But this was Miss Nettie’s time. She didn’t need no help.

  After a few more seconds, Miss Nettie was able to bring her praise down. She breathed in and out, catching her breath before she started speaking again. “I’m sorry about that,” Miss Nettie said. “But if God had done for you what He did for me, you’d understand.”

  “Oh, no need to apologize, Miss Nettie,” Paige said. “I know what He’s done for me and the many times I’ve had to stop whatever I’m doing, even if it’s picking out cereal in the grocery store aisle, to give Him praise.”

  The two women laughed.

  Miss Nettie wiped away the sweat that had formed on her forehead and went and sat in the closest chair.

  “Well, I’m proud of you, Miss Nettie. Rummaging back in the past is not an easy thing to do. But sometimes we have to do it in order to understand our present situation and to be released into the future God has for us.”

  “Yeah, that’s just about what Stuart said.” A smile jumped on Miss Nettie’s lips at the mention of Stuart. “He said he wants a future with me. All of me.” Miss Nettie got all giddy like a schoolgirl. “He even mentioned the M word.” Miss Nettie blushed.

  “Oh, wow,” Paige said. “He’s talking marriage? Just how long have you two been seeing each other?”

  “Well, we’ve been working together for years. Always been friends. We’ve sorta been like each other’s confidant. Can tell each other everything. As a matter a fact, he’s known for years I had a baby out there somewhere. He never pressed me or judged me, which is what a real friend does.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean.” Paige couldn’t help but notice the similarities between Miss Nettie and Stuart’s relationship and hers and Norman’s. Miss Nettie and Stuart had also started off as coworkers. As coworkers they had become friends. Ultimately, a bond had formed between them throughout the years, and that bond had turned into love. A part of Paige envied Miss Nettie, while a much larger part was so happy for her. Paige wished everyone could share that special type of connection with a person.

  “Now Stuart and I have taken our relationship to the romantic level, where we’re talking about a future together. Marriage is the rest of our lives together. He says he don’t like bony women, and therefore he ain’t fond of skeletons, so I need to get ’em all out of my closet.”

  “That’s fair,” Paige said, “as long as he’s willing to do the same.”

  “Oh, that Stuart of mine is an open book.” Miss Nettie chuckled. “He couldn’t hide a full-blooded corpse or a skeleton bone in his closet. Man don’t know what TMI is. He’s so unfiltered.” Miss Nettie blushed again. “But that’s what I love about him. He’s got a walk-in closet. He invites me in, and everything is on display. I don’t have to go looking and digging around. I don’t ever have to worry about him lying and carrying on.” She paused. “Even though, as you put it”—Miss Nettie raised an eyebrow at Paige—“we too old for that.”

  Paige made a shooing motion with her hand at Miss Nettie. “You know what I meant by that. Now, don’t be holding it against me.”

  The slight smile Miss Nettie had on her face faded. “Oh, child, don’t worry. I won’t. I just hope that as I begin to uncover things about myself and the past that I’ve buried too deep to even remember, Stuart won’t hold it against me.”

  Paige saw the fear in Miss Nettie’s eyes. She got up off the couch and walked over to the chair her friend was sitting in. Paige kneeled down and took Miss Nettie’s hands in hers. “Miss Nettie, one thing I know for sure is that you are an awesome woman of God. You know what? We don’t even have to get that deep and spiritual. You are an awesome woman, period!”

  Miss Nettie nodded. “I’d like to think that about myself. But is a woman who abandoned her child and never looked back really awesome?”

  “You are looking back now.�
� Paige shook her hands for effect. “Miss Nettie, you know better than anybody about God’s perfect timing,” she said.

  Miss Nettie nodded. It looked as though Paige’s words were sinking in with Miss Nettie, but Paige wasn’t completely sure.

  “Close your eyes,” Paige said.

  “Huh?” Miss Nettie replied.

  “Close your eyes.”

  Miss Nettie hesitated at first but then did as the younger woman had asked.

  Once Miss Nettie’s eyes were closed, Paige began to speak. “Do you remember the day you gave birth to your child?”

  Miss Nettie nodded.

  “Do you remember the day you took your child home from the hospital?”

  Miss Nettie paused, in thought. “I think so. Maybe.” She thought hard. “I really can’t remember.”

  This was deeper than Paige had initially thought. What had happened to cause a woman not to remember the day she took her newborn home from the hospital? Or if she even took him or her home at all? Paige took another route to get to the destination she was trying to reach. “Okay, so fast-forward to a year after giving birth.”

  Miss Nettie looked as though she was racking her brains. “I . . . I . . .” She began to look flushed and started shifting in the chair.

  “Just calm down and think.”

  “It’s so hard. I wasn’t me. I wasn’t in my right mind. That woman back then, she did things. Bad things. For no rhyme or reason. Just because.”

  “Just because of what?” Paige asked.

  Miss Nettie shook her head. “I don’t know why. I think she liked . . .” Her words trailed off.

  “What did she like?” Paige asked, all of a sudden feeling like a therapist instead of just someone trying to help her friend.

  “Pain.” A tear slid through one of Miss Nettie’s closed eyelids.