A Change of Heart (Perfect Indiana#3)

by Barbara Longley

  The blouse she wore showed just a hint of cleavage. Dang. Maybe he should’ve used some of his aftershave after all. “You look amazing, Cory.” Sexy as hell and good enough to eat. He wanted to pull her into his arms, muss that soft brown hair and kiss her until their knees gave out. His dad said to take it easy, and he’d make that his mantra for the night. No pressure, just a couple of friends hanging out. Parts of his anatomy vigorously disagreed with that approach.

  “Thanks. So do you.”

  The half smile lighting her face scrambled his brain and sent heat spiraling through him. He opened the truck door for her. Hiding his body’s reaction to her behind it, he waited for her to climb in. Once he’d settled himself behind the wheel, he forced himself to get his thoughts out of the front of her blouse. Then he caught a glimpse of her smooth, bare legs and had to stifle the groan threatening to give him away. Struggling to grasp onto a distraction, any distraction, he forced his mind and eyes away from the tantalizing vision beside him. “Where are the Langfords?”

  “They went out for supper, and then they’re going to a drive-in movie. Some new animated kids’ show just opened there this weekend.”

  “Sounds like fun.” He meant it. Someday he hoped he’d have a family to take to the drive-in. He wasn’t like a lot of guys he knew. Most of the guys he’d grown up with couldn’t wait to escape Perfect and kick up their heels. None of them wanted anything to do with settling down. For as long as he could remember, all he’d ever wanted was a house with a nice view and a family of his own.

  The distraction didn’t last long, and his eyes slid back to Cory. She looked downright delectable. Longing slammed into him like a wrecking ball. “Is that a new outfit?” Color crept into her cheeks, multiplying her sexiness exponentially. He had to turn away again. Tonight was going to be a struggle of epic proportions.

  “It is. Brenda and I went shopping last weekend.” She ran her hands over the denim. “I hope it’s appropriate for the event. Have you ever been to a rodeo before?”

  “I have, but it’s been years. My mom and dad took me a few times when I was a kid. What about you?” He started down the driveway and turned onto the highway toward town.

  “I’ve never been. I have no idea what to expect.”

  “There are a variety of events, like roping calves, riding bucking horses and bulls, barrel racing.”

  “Cowboys racing in barrels?” Confusion clouded her eyes. “How does that work?”

  “Uh, no. Girls ride their horses around a course made up of three barrels. They try to beat each other’s times without knocking the barrels down as they go around them.”

  “Oh.”

  “Are you interested in the rodeo?”

  “Ask me after I’ve seen one.” A corner of her mouth quirked up. “I don’t know yet.”

  “Why’d you say yes to going tonight?” He held his breath, waiting to hear what she’d say.

  “I like going out and trying new things, and this is the first time we’ve done anything together since I figured out being apart wasn’t helping.” Her eyes met his, and another shy smile made an appearance. “You never know. Maybe after tonight I’ll become a big fan. Paige said she got hooked the first time Ryan took her to one. She also said rodeos are going on all over, and we should try one outdoors if we like this one.”

  She’d said we, and that set his heart into a hopeful flutter. He cast around for something else to talk about. “Are you hungry?”

  “Not right now, but I’m sure I will be later.”

  “We can get something to eat there, or if you want, we can go out for pizza afterwards.”

  “Sure.”

  “Are you going to be bothered by the crowds?”

  “Probably, but once we’re in our seats I’ll be fine.”

  “I’ll stick close.”

  “I know you will.” She twirled a strand of hair around her finger and kept her eyes on the road ahead. “That’s another reason I said yes. I appreciate that about you, Ted. I hope you know that.”

  “I do now, and I hope you know I’m happy to help.” He aimed his eyes toward the road as well. “How’s the truck running?”

  “Freddy runs like he’s brand-new. I love that old pickup.” Her grin lit up the inside of his cab. “Did you know it’s the first vehicle I’ve ever owned?”

  “I figured it might be, since you enlisted right out of high school. How’s the search for insurance providers coming along?”

  “It’s done. We put the requests for bids in the mail Friday afternoon.”

  “That’s good. The sooner everyone has insurance the better.”

  “Thank you for that, Ted. I’ve also been looking for a therapist who specializes in PTSD. I couldn’t do that if it hadn’t been for you.”

  “You’re the one who pulled the whole thing together. We’re all going to benefit from your efforts.” He winked at her. “We might have to come up with an employee-of-the-month plaque or something.”

  She laughed, and the sweet sound settled into his soul and filled him with contentment. The rest of their ride into Evansville they made small talk and settled back into being comfortable with each other once again. Soon he followed the line of cars inching their way toward the parking ramps near the Ford Center. The sidewalks were teeming with people wearing cowboy hats and boots. Young men moved in rowdy groups, and couples holding hands walked along at a slower pace behind them. He turned in to a ramp where a man with a bright-orange flag waved him in. “You’re in charge of remembering where we’re parked.”

  She made a snorting sound and pulled out a pen and a scrap of paper from her purse. “Got it.” More inching along ensued as they followed the line of traffic to the booth where an attendant collected the event-parking fee. Ted reached for his wallet and laid it on Cory’s lap. “Can you get a ten-dollar bill out for me?”

  “You want me to kick in for parking?” She opened his wallet, sparing a second to study his awful driver’s license photo.

  “Nope.” He held out his hand for the ten, paid the attendant and put the receipt on the dashboard. Once they were on the sidewalk, Cory moved nearer to him as the crowd jostled her in passing. “Can I hold your hand, Cory? It’ll be easier to stay close.” Without a word, she slipped her small hand into his. Swallowing hard, he twined their fingers and brought her closer to his side. It felt good. No, better than good. Eventually she’d realize they were a perfect fit. He just hoped he could survive the wait.

  Wending their way through the concrete halls filled with food booths and vendors, they found the VIP section. Ted placed his hands on her shoulders and guided her down the narrow steps to their box. Ryan and Paige were already there, two chairs in from the aisle. He leaned down and whispered into Cory’s ear. “You want the outside seat or the one next to Ryan?”

  “The seat on the aisle would be good, thanks.”

  “All right.” He edged around her and slid into their row of seats. “Hey, Ryan, Paige, how was the visit with your family?”

  “It was good. We caught up over hot dogs and pop. Glad you two made it,” Ryan said, nodding at Cory.

  “You look great, Cory.” Paige waved.

  “Thanks, so do you.” Cory leaned forward to talk to Paige. “I love your cowboy hat.”

  He waited for Cory to sit before taking his own seat. She scanned the crowd around them, then the arena, where a shiny new pickup truck had been parked. The rodeo’s biggest sponsor, no doubt. Every protective urge he owned surged for her. “How are you doing? Do you need anything?”

  “I’m good,” she answered just as the lights dimmed and a voice boomed over the loud speaker. A group of riders on horseback carrying American flags entered the arena at a canter. The MC introduced the group, which was local, and they began a series of intricate maneuvers around the arena. The cowboys and cowgirls who would compete were called out by name. A set of sparklers lit a path as each one took their place in line as their stats were broadcast over the sound system.


  All the while introductions were made, the horseback riders continued to perform synchronized riding formations around the competitors. Impressive. Next, the men who kept the riders safe during the competitions were introduced. Once everyone was in place, a color guard of marines marched in formation to the center of the arena. Each one held a flag representing a different branch of the military, with the middle soldier holding a US flag high. The “Star-Spangled Banner” echoed throughout the stadium.

  The announcer’s voice rose above it all, saying, “If it weren’t for the brave men and women who put their lives on the line every day to protect our freedom, we wouldn’t be here tonight to enjoy this rodeo. Let’s take a minute to honor our veterans, and to thank those who serve this great nation of ours. Will all the veterans in the audience please stand?”

  He’d been so caught up in what was going on in front of him, Ted hadn’t paid any attention to Cory. Ryan stood straight, tall and proud, with Paige’s hand firmly held in his. Cory remained seated. Ted shifted around in his seat to look at her, and his gut twisted. Her eyes were wild. She gripped the armrests with both hands, and a fine sheen of perspiration covered her brow and upper lip. Her entire body trembled. Oh, shit.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “WILL ALL THE VETERANS IN the audience please stand?”

  The MC’s words slammed into Cory, and tension grabbed her by the throat. By rights she should stand. She’d sacrificed. Maybe not like the soldiers who’d lost limbs or worse, but she’d served to the best of her ability. Yet try as she might, she couldn’t move. The world spun around her in a dizzying blur, and her ears rang with the pounding of her heart. Humiliation tied her into a tight knot. Unfit to serve.

  Eight years of her life wasted! All she’d ever wanted was to make something of herself, follow in her father’s footsteps. Her hands ached from the stranglehold she had on her chair. Rage and grief choked her. She had to get out—get some air.

  Cory shot out of her place, dashed blindly up the stairs and bolted through the velvet curtains. She rushed into the concrete hallway and stopped. Unfamiliars milled about or stood in lines, waiting for greasy food-booth fare and cold beer. People talked and laughed together like they believed the world was a good place. Not so. Bad things and bad people lurked in the shadows and in small spaces, like closets and…storerooms.

  Staff Sergeant Barnett put his hands on her shoulders and pressed her up against the wall. “You have this coming, bitch. You should’ve put out for me months ago.”

  His fetid breath sent waves of revulsion and nausea roiling through her. Bile rose to burn the back of her throat. Panic exploded, and instinct took over. She sprang into action, going for his eyes with her thumbs. If she could gouge him, force him to back up, she could fight. The bastard grabbed her wrists, and she twisted and turned, trying to get free. “No!”

  “Cory, stop.”

  She managed to get free, putting some distance between them. He reached for her again, and she thrust her knee up with all the force she could muster.

  “Oof. Damn.” He groaned. “Cory, it’s only me.”

  Confused and disoriented, she raked a shaking hand through her hair and stared. Ted doubled over in front of her. Oh, God. I did that? Glancing up, she faced the curious stares from the crowd of onlookers that had gathered. A security guard holding a walkie-talkie approached from the periphery. She took off for the exit, mortification burning through her like a red-hot ember. A quivering mess of stirred-up crazy, that’s what she was.

  “Wait!” Ted called from behind her.

  Single-minded determination propelled her through the huge glass doors and out into the gathering dusk. Heat radiating up from the sidewalk engulfed her. She sucked in a breath laced with cigarette smoke from the group huddled around the metal ashtrays set up by the curb.

  “Cory.”

  He was beside her now. How could she face him? She swallowed a few times and stared in the opposite direction.

  “I just got my first close-up look at a flashback, didn’t I?” He took her elbow and steered her away from the smokers staring curiously their way. “Are you OK?”

  She shook her head and studied the asphalt running in front of the Ford Center. “I kneed you in the groin, and you’re asking if I’m OK?”

  “It wasn’t me you were fighting. Don’t you think I know that?”

  “I’m so sorry.” Her voice quavered.

  “Forget it. I’ve suffered worse.” He continued to lead her down the sidewalk. “I take it you aren’t going to become a big rodeo fan.”

  “This had nothing to do with the rodeo,” she clipped out. “What was I supposed to do while all the veterans were being honored? Stand? Sit? I have a less-than-honorable discharge on my record. I…it just all came crashing in, and I couldn’t breathe. I just needed some air, and when I got to the hallway…”

  “The experience triggered a flashback. I got that.” He gave her elbow a squeeze. “Yes, you have a screwed-up file, but you and I both know the army’s record is bogus. Paige and Ryan also know. Whether or not you stand is up to you, not the army or the MC. I’m proud of you. Everyone whose life you’ve touched is proud of you.”

  “I don’t know. Sometimes I think the army had it right when they diagnosed me with a personality disorder. I’m definitely not…I’m not normal.” There. She’d said it.

  “Who is?”

  “You are.” They reached the back of the Ford Center, and she surveyed all the huge rigs parked in the lot. “Can I tell you something I’ve never told anyone else?”

  “Of course.”

  “I fought Staff Sergeant Barnett for all I was worth, and not because I thought I could stop what was happening.” Blowing out a breath, she forced the rest of her secret out. “He had a reputation for violence and a short fuse. I knew if I provoked him, he’d strike me.”

  “You wanted him to hit you?” Ted frowned at her. “Why?”

  “Because on some level I knew the bruises he left would prove it wasn’t consensual. How sick is that?”

  He sent her an inscrutable look, studying her for several seconds. “I don’t think being sick had anything to do with it. You demonstrated remarkable presence of mind under the circumstances, and it confirms what I’ve always known. You are an incredible woman.” His eyes roamed her face, his expression filling with pride. “You’re going to be OK, Cory. Someday you’re going look back on this as a dark period in your life, but you will get better.”

  “If you say so.” She couldn’t picture it, couldn’t see herself put back together into any semblance of the woman she’d once been.

  “More than anything I need to hold you.” He stopped walking and faced her. “I want to comfort you, which would really comfort me. Will you let me do that for you?”

  She shook her head. “More than anything I dread how all the good feelings I have for you will get twisted into something vile and ugly in my nightmares if you do. And that’s what will happen. When I’m all alone tonight, I’ll dream about you. It’ll start out great and end up horrible. I don’t know what to do, and I hate that you’re caught up in all the flotsam and jetsam of my stream of crazy.” She blinked against the tears escaping down her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t what you want, or what you deserve.”

  “Didn’t I already tell you not to worry about me?”

  “Yeah, you did, but I worry anyway. I want you to be happy, and being around me is kind of the antithesis of happy.”

  He chuckled. “You have a unique way of putting things.”

  “How can you laugh right now?” A flare of irritation ignited inside her. “This is not even remotely close to a laughing matter.”

  “You’re so hard on yourself,” he chided. “I see you in a completely different light than you see yourself.”

  “Yeah?” She wiped the tears from her cheeks, running her fingertips under her eyes to catch the smeared mascara. “How do you see me?”

  “Let’s walk.” He took her elbow aga
in and started her on a heading around the Ford Center. “You don’t even realize how strong you are, and amazing, brave, generous and perceptive.”

  She blinked. “Perceptive?”

  “Yes. Perceptive and intelligent. After all, you’re the only one who sees me for the brilliant guy I truly am.”

  A chuckle broke free, and that familiar heart-flipping sensation filled her chest. “So how you see me is all about how I see you?”

  “Exactly. See how perceptive you are?”

  She looked up into his warm gray eyes. “Thank you. I needed a laugh.”

  “I wasn’t trying to be funny.” He scowled, but the twinkle in his eyes gave him away. “I was serious.”

  “Humph.”

  “Cory…I see you as…”

  The vulnerability filling his voice and expression cracked her heart wide open. Oh, Lord.

  He cleared his throat. “I see you as the one for me.”

  “Don’t say that.” Her eyes filled again. “I can’t be the one for you. I’m too messed up. What if the next time I have a flashback, I hurt you even worse? We agreed to be friends. I have nothing more to offer.”

  “That’s not how I see it. You’re going to have health insurance soon. Thanks to your efforts, we all will. Once that happens, you’ll see a doctor and get some kind of medication for the nightmares and anxiety. Then you’ll find a therapist, and things will turn around. You won’t have these kinds of episodes forever.” His wonderful gray eyes filled with warmth. “If you let me, I’ll be there for you every step of the way.”

  “What if things don’t turn around and I don’t get better?”

  “They will. I’ve seen it happen with Noah, Ryan, Kyle, and Wesley, pretty much our entire staff. You’re not going to be the exception. I won’t let you.”

  “None of them were raped. What if I can’t…I don’t…”