Unprincely

by Eden Finley

  “There’s something you don’t understand about Roman and me. What we have is special, and so hard to define, but we’re not enough for each other. It took us two weeks to work that out. When we’re together on our own, it’s explosive and passionate, and when we’re just hanging out, it’s as if we’re the best of friends. But it takes something more than that for a relationship to work. We’re trying to find that with other people who will accept what we have, but none of them compare to you, Xander. None of them understand us like you do. No one gets that we need each other but also need more.”

  My breath got stuck in my throat.

  “Roman doesn’t know I’m here tonight. I had to force him on his date with a guy I know, but he had to be out of the apartment for me to get ready to come here and plead our case. He needs you. I need you. And I think you need us too. We’d rather have you and have to live in secret than live without you knowing the only thing holding us back from being amazing is the fact both our hearts belong to another as well as each other. You broke up with us to save us, but all you did was rip us apart even more. We don’t need saving, Xander. We need you. I’d feel the exact same way about Roman if he was the one to leave. The reason we work is because the three of us together makes us complete.”

  I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe.

  The two people I cared about most needed me, and I threw them away.

  I did it for them. I thought they’d be better as a normal couple, doing regular things. But what we had wasn’t normal by society’s standards, which meant we would never have a normal life no matter what we did.

  Nanna was right when she said I’d chosen wrong.

  Delia took my shock as a rejection, and I couldn’t even get my bearings before she’d whispered, “Think about it,” kissed me on the forehead, and silently left.

  I was taking the crown for people who were already dead and I couldn’t disappoint anymore instead of choosing two people who were still alive and in pain because of my abandonment.

  I stared up at the ceiling and muttered an apology to my parents for still letting them down. My party image might have cleaned up over the last year, but my unprincely attitude had not.

  Another day, another press conference, but this was going to be the press conference of my life. The day after the Christmas ball, I marched into Grandfather’s office and told him that the country wasn’t ready for a bisexual king and that I was abdicating my right to the throne.

  His response was “I know.”

  “How? I only decided last night.”

  “Your grandmother bet me that you wouldn’t go through with it.” He reached into his desk and pulled out a sheet of paper. “Your speech for the press. But don’t think for one second you’ll parade you and your … lifestyle in public. It’s just not how it’s done.”

  It never occurred to me that what I had with Delia and Roman wasn’t too different from what my grandparents had. They might not have had two people at once, but they did have a polyamorous dynamic. Consensual non-monogamy. From the sound of it, Nanna knew about Grandfather’s affairs and was okay with it. They had their own set of rules they lived by, just as Delia and Roman and I would.

  “Never in public,” I agreed, “but I want more freedoms. That’s why I’m abdicating.”

  “You will get them. No one will care in a year or two what the once supposed to be king is up to. They will be too busy watching the next in line struggle to take the crown. I don’t know what I did to be burdened with such incompetent heirs, but trust me when I say the policies will change from now on. All royal family will be obligated to learn how to lead.”

  My eyes narrowed. “Why will Quin struggle?”

  “Like you, he was not raised for this life. He is too wild and careless.”

  I was a dick for throwing my cousin under the bus, but no way was I turning back now. I couldn’t. Not when I was so close to being free.

  That was how I ended up here, reading yet another speech written out for me. I wanted to tell Grandfather to go fuck himself and that I was going to say whatever I wanted to, but the fact he let me give everything up without a fight meant he was doing me a huge favour. He might’ve been relieved because he never thought I was fit to lead, but abdicating my right to the throne will be dissected for years to come. It would be written in history books and generations upon generations of Ashwickians would read about the almost king who loved more than one gender.

  I was making history and taking a step to a brighter future.

  And that was the best thing I could do as a royal.

  I was done denying who I was—who I was born to be.

  Roman

  My phone rang, and Brad’s number lit up the screen, but I couldn’t reach it from my spot on the couch. Delia was snuggled into my side and using my chest as a pillow. We moved as one so I could lean half off the couch. By the time we managed to get the phone, we were both laughing and panting. It probably would’ve been less effort to get up.

  When I answered the phone, I didn’t even get a hello from Brad.

  “Turn on the TV.”

  “What, why?” I asked.

  “Just do it. They’re about to go live, and he asked me to call you when it was the right time.”

  “Can we not play the pronoun game?”

  “Prince Alexander, dumbass.”

  I sat up and almost knocked Delia off my lap. “Which channel?”

  “All of them.”

  A special news bulletin flashed across the screen, and the news anchor announced they were waiting to go live from inside the palace.

  Speculation of Xander announcing his engagement was the media’s guess, but if Brad had called me so I could watch that, he was an asshole.

  “What do you think is going on?” Delia asked and bit her lip.

  “Have no idea.”

  Xander appeared on screen looking nervous and pale. His hands shook as he took to the podium and welcomed the media. Then he stared right into the camera, and I felt that stare all over me. Like it was for me. For us.

  “I know you are all expecting me to stand here and introduce you to my future wife today, but that’s not going to happen. I’m here today to address those rumours. You know the ones. The truth is …” Xander swallowed hard and stared down at his notes. “The shocking news is not that your crown prince is gay, but that he is bisexual.”

  I expected more gasps from the press, more of an outrage, but an eerie silence fell in the pressroom. Photos weren’t even being taken.

  “I have had relationships with both men and women in the past, and I’m not ashamed by this. Love is love, and I believe you can’t help who you fall for. I’m attracted to more than one gender. This doesn’t make me weak. It’s just part of who I am. Not as a prince. Not as the future king. But as a regular human being.”

  That’s what made the reporters snap back into professional mode. Xander tried not to wince as flashes went off in his eyes.

  Delia sat up in a rush. “Is he doing what I think he’s doing?”

  “He just came out to the entire nation.” I threw my legs over the side of the couch and sat next to her, my hand gripping her thigh tighter than normal.

  She laid her hand on top.

  Xander continued. “In an idealistic world that I hope we can become one day, a bisexual royal wouldn’t make the news purely for the fact he was with a man. Hell, pick up a history book; I’m not the only one out there. But out of respect for the rest of the royal family and the crown, I must step back. I cannot lead when my heart is somewhere else.”

  A reporter started to ask a question, but Xander held his hand up to stop them.

  “I won’t be answering any questions here today. Annie once asked me if I thought my country would accept who I was, and it wasn’t until I pledged my vow to you a few short months ago that I realised it doesn’t matter what the rest of the world thinks of me. A lot of people see being royal as glamourous, and people out there would do anything to be a p
art of it. And don’t get me wrong, it is an honour to stand here in my position, but that does not come without sacrifice. My mother, father, and sister sacrificed their lives. I was willing to sacrifice love. But after a long talk with Her Majesty the Queen, we both agreed that I would not be able to lead my people if I were to be deceiving them while I reigned.”

  “Holy shit, he’s doing it,” Delia said breathlessly.

  “I, Prince Alexander Henry Frederick Edmund Holbrook, renounce my rights to the throne of Ashwick. As of this moment, Quincy Adam Christian George Holbrook is the crown prince and your future king.”

  “I told him he couldn’t do that,” I mumbled.

  Delia wrapped her arms around my neck and climbed into my lap. “Don’t you get it? He did it for us.”

  “Does he really think it’ll be different? The media will still follow us. We still won’t be able to go public with our relationship.”

  “We wouldn’t be able to do that with Xander no matter what. Royals aren’t affectionate in public. There are royal guidelines we will have to follow, but isn’t he worth it? I thought this is what you wanted.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “What did you do?”

  “I talked to him. That’s all. We both know we need him.”

  I hated she was right. “I do love you, Delia.”

  She smiled. “I know. I love you too. But it’s not the same without him. This was the only way for all of us to get what we want.”

  “He’s giving up so much for us.” It was a risk I never wanted him to take. What if it didn’t work out? The odds were against us.

  “So are we. Our right to a private life, for one.”

  Xander started talking again, silencing our conversation. “I’m going to leave you in the capable hands of Trisha now. Go easy on her, please, I just made her job ten times harder than it needs to be.”

  Before Xander could leave the stage, a question was shouted at him.

  “Are you saying that a bisexual prince is not fit to reign?”

  Xander quickly marched back to the podium, and the PR lady stepped aside. “Do not get me wrong. I am not saying that someone who identifies as LGBTQ cannot reign or should not. I’m saying that this bisexual prince is unable to reign because my heart is elsewhere. Taking this step will bring the world closer to acceptance, but I was not born for this life. My sister was an amazing woman who would’ve done wonders for this country. If I were to take the crown, I would be sitting on my throne wishing I was somewhere else, and you, my people, deserve more than that. I accept myself, my parents and sister accepted who I have always been, and that’s enough for me. I have no doubt they are looking down right now with pride. I hope everyone else out there who identifies as LGBTQ is able to find the same acceptance in their lives. Be who you are, love who you want, and don’t let others take that away from you.”

  Xander took off, leaving the stage to Trisha. She would’ve been a beautiful woman if her permanent scowl didn’t make her so terrifying.

  “What do we do now?” Delia asked. “We have to go to him or—”

  There was a knock on the door, and even though Delia was half dressed, she raced towards it. It couldn’t have been Xander—the press conference was live.

  “Lady Hillington. Mr. Elliot.” Royal guard stepped into the apartment.

  “Mr. Elliot?” I asked. “Come on, Bill, you know who I am.”

  “That was before. Prince Alexander asks that you come with us.” Bill averted his eyes. “Uh, after you get dressed.”

  I stared down at my boxer briefs. Oops. “Sure. Be right out.”

  Even though I’d moved in with D, and we were sharing a bed, all of my belongings were in the spare bedroom. She went into her room, and I went into mine. When I came out in jeans and a T-shirt and Delia was in one of her royal outing appropriate dresses, I stalled.

  “I think I’m underdressed,” I said.

  “It’s fine,” Bill said. “You’re only going to the country estate.”

  “Should I dress down?” Delia asked.

  “No,” I said. “You’re perfect.” I approached and kissed her cheek. “Xander will think so too.”

  Delia could barely contain her happiness on the way to the car, but I still had doubts. Just because he abdicated, that didn’t mean there was a future for us. Maybe it was as he said—that he didn’t want to lead while deceiving people. Maybe it had nothing to do with us.

  But Delia said she’d spoken to him.

  She pulled me in close. “Hey, it’s all going to work out. He’ll make sure of it.”

  I didn’t know why I was scared. Maybe it was that if we let him back in he had another chance to walk away. If we were found out by the press, we’d be scrutinized more than ever before. After the photo of Delia and me was leaked, we were all over the rag sites. The heiress and the servant boy. Add a prince into the mix? It was a lot of pressure. Maybe too much.

  Doubt grew with each kilometre the car drove, but when we turned into the long drive of the royal family’s cottage estate and Xander was standing by the entrance with Bryant next to him, all the hesitance left me.

  With one look, I was completely his again.

  Damn it.

  Delia reached over and laced her fingers with mine. Next to me was the dream—the perfect girl. In front of me was the fantasy—everything I’d ever desired.

  Could a poor servant boy get everything he wanted?

  Delia didn’t show a shred of evidence that she had any doubt. As soon as Bill opened her door for her, she ran for Xander, and he caught her as she wrapped her legs around his waist and attacked his mouth.

  I hung back, my hands in my jeans pockets. My hesitance came from anger sitting on my chest. Anger I didn’t realise was there until now. He left us. Delia got an explanation, but I got fired. Xander didn’t even try to talk to me. He walked away, and even though I knew why he did it, he didn’t have the decency to tell me himself.

  When he and Delia finished their greeting, Xander’s eyes caught mine as he lowered her to her feet.

  “Roman.” His tone was full of anguish and longing, and I could hear the underlying apology, but it wasn’t enough. “Come here, babe.”

  I hated that my feet moved immediately, like they were attuned to him—trained to obey his orders. When they got to him, though, my arms betrayed me as they wrapped around him. He held on to me tight, as if he was scared if he let go I’d run away.

  “I’m sorry,” he muttered into my neck. “So sorry.”

  “I know you are.”

  “I couldn’t face you. It was too hard.”

  “I know that too,” I murmured.

  “I love you, Roman. I think I always have.”

  My breath caught. Xander lowered himself to one knee, and my heart pounded. “W-what are you doing?” I asked.

  He reached for Delia’s hand and brought her to stand next to me. “I kneel here not as a prince but as a man pledging his life to two people who mean more than a crown. I promise to be the man you need, not what my country needs. Whatever the media throws at us, we’ll face together—no matter what. I know I’m asking for a big sacrifice of both of you, so I will understand if you turn me away like I did to you. I shouldn’t have done that. I royally fucked up—pun intended—and I want you both to forgive me.” Xander reached into his pocket, but before either of us could freak out, he pulled out a cufflink. My cufflink. “Please tell me you want to spend your lives with me.”

  I went to open my mouth, to say yes, to yell at him, to cry, I wasn’t entirely sure. I needed time to compose myself. “Proposing with a cufflink, really?”

  Xander grinned. “Would you prefer a glass slipper, Cinderellliot? Get it? Because your last name’s Elliot.”

  “It’s not funny if you have to explain it,” Delia said.

  I stared at her and then back at Xander. “Yes” was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t get it out.

  Bryant cut me off, with a finger to his ear. “Sir, there have been p
aparazzi spotted high on the hill with long-scope cameras.”

  “So it starts,” Xander mumbled. “Let’s take this inside.” He stood and strode in ahead of us.

  I’d been to the cottage once before, back when I was working Xander’s security detail. They called it a cottage; I called it a mini-mansion. Commoners who hadn’t seen the inside of the royal palace would call it a monstrosity.

  The rock facade on the outside complemented the wooden beamed roof of the veranda, giving the house a ski chalet vibe. It would be an awesome sight during winter when snow covered the grounds.

  “Home sweet home,” Xander said to Delia. “This is where my parents would take us when they were sick of being royalty. It’s the one place I was allowed to be a normal kid. It’s where I want us to live.”

  Delia and I shared a glance. He was really serious about this. I wrapped my arm around her and kissed the top of her head—a silent question. She peered up at me with her blue eyes which were shining in happiness.

  We were all in.

  The cottage was well kept for a property that wasn’t frequented. Housekeepers no doubt were responsible for the upkeep. It opened to the comfortable, warm living room which was more homely than the palace but still extravagantly royal.

  “What do you think?” Xander asked.

  “What a dump,” Delia said.

  Xander’s half-smile was damn near intoxicating. “You two still haven’t given me an answer.”

  “Where’s the bedroom?” I asked.

  Xander cocked his eyebrow. “Is that an official yes?”

  “I can’t speak for D, but from me it’s an official fuck yes.”

  “Seconded,” Delia said.

  “Now, where’s the bedroom?” I asked again and headed for the hallway, and two sets of feet scrambled after me.

  I went to turn left at the end of the hall, but Xander stopped me. “That’s the way to the master, and there’s no way I’m fucking in my parents’ bed. The layout is mirrored, so there’s another master suite at the other end of the house.”