Making Peace

by Sasha Goldie

  He gave me a soft woof in response. "Okay, big guy, let's go. Sorry, the car isn't as nice as you're used to."

  Woof.

  I didn't think he cared as he hung his head out the window, tongue flapping in the wind.

  The trip up to the swimming hole was a success. It felt good to get exercise that didn't involve me running around inside a bar. And Droo had a blast, of course.

  Climbing up onto the rock and facing the water, I sat for probably an hour and threw the ball for Droo, until finally, he collapsed beside me, panting and tired. Watching the water while he slept, I decided enough was enough.

  Carson was a good man. I was ready to see where we could go with our relationship.

  16

  Carson

  The past week had been filled with a bunch of stress and very little rest thanks to having to do emergency construction in the kitchen. Something had gone wrong in the measurements and the wall had begun to crack on the outside. We'd opted to take care of the situation sooner rather than later and it had thrown me totally off. I'd barely even spoken to Max all week.

  He'd stopped in and given me one hell of a hard-on in the office a few days before, but then he'd left, leaving me feeling like maybe he was feeling ignored. I'd hoped for a little office action when he walked in, but it hadn't happened.

  I arrived at the barbeque a few minutes early, hoping to see Max and spend as much time as possible with him. After handing over my contribution of hamburgers, I made the tea.

  Just as it finished, Brady walked through the gate into Pearl's back yard in full uniform. He wasn't the man I was really hoping to see, but I hadn't talked to him in a while. "Hey," I called.

  "Carson. Good to see you." Brady stuck out his hand and gave me a big smile. "I heard a hungry police officer might be able to grab a bite to eat here today.

  Pearl heard him and turned around from the grill. "You eat up," she told him. "You know I love feeding you guys."

  "I know," he said with a cheeky grin. "And you're good at it. That's why I'm here."

  With a chuckle, I poured him a glass of tea as he sat in one of the folding chairs we’d brought from the brewery. We used them for stuff like outdoor weddings. "How's Corey?”

  Corey'd been off the same days as Max, leaving me holding down the fort double-time. Max was supposed to just be a server, but I'd be damned if he didn't somehow manage to help out far above and beyond the call of duty. I couldn't complain about them both being off at the same time, though, I'd made the schedule.

  "He's good. I'm surprised he's not here now, actually," Brady said, looking around. "He said he'd probably stop by.” The back yard, full of friends and family of the brewery staff, smelled like woodsmoke, thanks to whatever fancy charcoal Pearl had on her grill.

  "Well, it's early still," I said, trying to tell myself the same thing. "Hey, Pearl, who was picking Max up?"

  "Martha," she said. "She's bringing the kids. We were supposed to have this at her place, but she said her grill broke, so she's picking him up on the way.” Pearl’s back yard was perfect, with a small fountain and koi pond. And she'd set up a slip ’n slide for the kids.

  "You okay?" Brady asked. He seemed concerned. "Is there a reason you're so worried about Max?"

  The grin on his face gave away his delight at my distraction. "Don't you start on me, too," I warned.

  "Who else has been starting?" His grin spread. "And why?"

  "Ian has been giving me grief because Max and I are—friends."

  "I knew it," Brady said in glee. "You and Max are a couple, aren't you?"

  "Will you keep your voice down? He works for me. We're friends, that's all. If anything grows from that, then great, but for now, mind your own damn business," I hissed at him in mock outrage. I wasn't actually mad at him. "When are you going to ask Corey to marry you, anyway?" I threw his nosiness back at him. "You've got the ring, what's the holdup?"

  "Actually," he said conspiratorially, "Look." Sticking his hand in his pocket, he pulled out a ring box.

  "No way." I took it from him and cracked it open, peeking at the band inside. It was either white gold or platinum with a square diamond set in the middle. Unobtrusive but elegant. "Corey will love this. When are you doing it?"

  "I can't decide. I'm just sort of waiting for the right moment, or the right idea to pop into my head."

  "That's what you said last week. What's the holdup?"

  "Nothing is good enough."

  "Text me tomorrow. I'll be making next week's schedule. I'll make sure he's off the same days you are, and you can take him to the first place you kissed. Just make it simple and tell him how you—" Just then I spotted Martha coming in with her kids. Max should've been with her, but nobody else came through the gate. "Oh, uh." I tried to remember where I'd left off. "Tell him how you feel. He'll love it."

  "You're right," he said, pocketing the ring. "I'll do exactly that."

  "Great." I clapped him on the shoulder. "Be right back."

  Hurrying over to Martha, I ruffled her youngest son's head and smiled at her. "Hey, did Max come with you?"

  "No," she said, distracted. "I stopped by to get him, but when he answered the door, he said he'd had unexpected company and couldn't come."

  "Oh, okay," I said. "Thanks."

  "Any particular reason you're looking for him?" Martha raised an eyebrow and gave me a knowing look.

  "Is there anyone that doesn't know?" I threw up my hands.

  "I should say, when he answered the door, he seemed down, sad."

  "Did he?" What if his visitor was someone he didn't want to see or who triggered his PTSD? Maybe I should swing by and see if he needed a friend. "Thanks, Martha."

  "Anytime, boss."

  Pearl took a bunch of burgers and dogs off the grill, so I made a plate. I'd slept until the last minute and was starving. Brady joined me. "I gotta eat and run," he said. "Hate to be rude."

  "You're on duty. Nobody minds."

  Max had told me a bit about his past but hadn't mentioned anyone that might be a drop-in guest. Not that it was really my business who my friend had over. But it was my business if he was sad, wasn't it?

  "Carson?" Brady asked. "Did you hear anything I said?"

  "Sorry," I said. "Martha said Max couldn't come and seemed sad."

  "Why don't you call him?" He took a big bite of his burger. "You're obviously worried," he said after he swallowed.

  "I don't hide my emotions very well, do I?" I asked.

  "No," Martha said from behind me. I jumped. "If it wasn't for you wearing your heart on your sleeve, none of us would've known you and Max had a thing going."

  "Ugh, it's not a thing. Not yet."

  "Whatever you did to mess it up, you'll fix it soon." Martha's voice was teasing as she sat beside me at the picnic table.

  "Now, why do you assume I did something wrong?" I asked in mock outrage as I threw a potato chip at her.

  "Because I've known you since you came and visited during the summers," she reminded me. Her parents and mine had been friends as well. We'd played together as small children, but as I'd gotten older, I'd preferred to spend time with Max. "And back then everyone thought you two would end up together. It's sort of poetic that you might now."

  "You know what?" I asked as I stood and walked my trash over to the garbage can. "I'm going." I turned and waved at Martha, Brady, and Pearl. I'd just go over and check on Max, make sure he was okay. "I'll see you guys later," I called. "Gotta run."

  Behind the grill, Pearl looked confused, but Martha walked over. No doubt she'd be totally filled in before I made it to my truck.

  Pearl lived just a few minutes from Brady's place, so I was there in no time. A compact car I'd never seen before was parked in front of the closed shop.

  Some sixth sense I was sure was my imagination told me this was a bad idea, but I pushed the warning away and walked to the shop door, which should've been locked on a Sunday afternoon, but it wasn't.

  The dim shop wa
s a little creepy as I walked across the empty bay to the door to the stairs. It was also unlocked, which wasn't too unusual.

  I didn't try to open the door at the top, just knocked and waited on Max to answer.

  Instead of Max, the door was opened by an extremely attractive Asian man. "Can I help you?" he asked. His voice had an accent, though his English was perfect.

  "Yeah, is Max here?" I couldn't take my eyes off of the man's chest and not because it was so attractive, which it was. It was bare, and he wore nothing but gym shorts and a towel on his shoulder. He'd obviously just gotten out of the shower and was in the process of toweling off his hair.

  "He's in the shower. Want to wait?" The man stepped back as if to allow me room to enter the apartment.

  "No, thank you," I muttered, backing down a few stairs. "I better go."

  "Okay, I'll tell him you stopped by."

  I didn't even reply as I made a hasty exit. He hadn't even asked my name. How would he tell Max I was there?

  It didn't matter. Max obviously had more than one friend with benefits, and that was not something I was in the market for. I was tired of flings, one-night stands, and meaningless relationships. I liked Max, a lot.

  As I jumped in my truck, I decided enough was enough. I didn't need heartache on top of the stress from the restaurant.

  17

  Max

  "Some guy stopped by for you," Do-Yun said.

  He sat at my kitchen table in nothing but exercise shorts, eating a bowl of cereal and scrolling on his phone. "Who was it?"

  "I didn't get his name." He was clearly unperturbed by the fact that he had no clue who had come to my door. As if I didn't know. Only one person ever came over.

  I'd been woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of something hitting my bedroom window. It had really freaked me out, and it took me several minutes to get awake enough to figure out someone was trying to get my attention. I sidled up to the window, peeking out into the bright morning sunlight as sneakily as I could.

  The car was unfamiliar, but the man standing next to it typing on his phone was all too recognizable.

  Do-Yun. My ex.

  I'd thrown on some pajama pants and hurried down to let him in, still a little rattled.

  He'd tried to hug me, but a hug from my ex-boyfriend had been the last thing I'd wanted.

  "What did he look like?" I asked, still shocked that he'd turned up at my doorstep.

  "Dark hair," he said, finally looking up at me. "Tall. Seemed a little angry."

  "Of course he was angry," I exclaimed. "Were you wearing a shirt?" I asked, pointedly looking at his bare chest.

  "No, who cares?"

  He was absolutely infuriating.

  He’d shown up at my door, shocking the hell out of me. I’d almost slammed the door in his face. Once I'd let him in, I grabbed my phone and check it to find a bunch of missed calls and messages from one of my unit buddies and my parents. I hadn't realized my phone was on silent. Apparently, Do-Yun had landed in Seattle, then went to my old apartment there, which he'd been to a couple of times while we'd been together, and I'd had leave. He'd even met my parents once, but they'd come to see us. Do-Yun and I hadn't ever come to Three Lakes.

  My friend had taken over the lease, and he'd been there to tell Do-Yun I'd moved to Three Lakes. Unfortunately, Do-Yun had my parents' address, so he'd rented a car and set out right away.

  The messages from my parents were apologies for giving Do-Yun my new address. Ugh.

  He'd driven all night and I'd gone to bed so late, so I let him into the guest room. It was full of Ian's boxes, but the bed was free. We slept late, just now getting up and ready for the day. I'd let him shower first, something I was now regretting. If I'd gone first, I would've been out to talk to Carson. I hoped he hadn't gotten the wrong idea.

  "So, now we've both rested and you've eaten," I said, not commenting on his ability to make himself at home when he wasn't really welcome. "What are you doing here?"

  "I told you when I got here, I came to the States to see you." He shrugged. "I wanted to try to give it another chance."

  My jaw dropped. How could he think he could walk into my life and I'd be willing to just rekindle our failed relationship? "You what?"

  "I ran into Sinclair, from your old unit. He's stationed at the same base we were years ago." Sinclair had been one of my friends that helped move my stuff from Seattle. He'd been reassigned to a new unit. "He told me how good you're doing, and I started thinking about how good we were together."

  As he slurped up the last of his milk, I tried not to blow up at him. "We were pretty good together," I said in a carefully even voice. "Until my injury."

  "Yeah, I'm sorry about that. It was just too much."

  "Too much," I said, my voice losing its even quality.

  Do-Yun looked up at me in surprise. "Yeah. You said you understood."

  "I lied."

  He furrowed his brow. "Why?"

  "Because the first time you made it to the base hospital, a week after my leg was blown off, you told me you couldn't handle my injury. What else was I supposed to say?"

  "If you'd told me you needed me, I would've stayed." He tried to look contrite, but I knew him pretty well. He was pissed that I hadn't been sitting around pining for him.

  "Did you think I'd wait for you?" I asked him. "That I'd be sitting here depressed, praying for you to come back into my life and rescue me?"

  "Of course not, but I'll admit I was surprised to see you still so fit. But, I'd decided before I came that I wanted to be with you no matter if your body had changed or not." He stood and walked his cereal bowl to the sink, rinsing it out.

  "No matter how... Holy shit, Do. You gotta go." I shook my head and stood. "Get dressed."

  "What do you mean? Can't we even talk this through?"

  "Nope." I stood in the doorway of the kitchen, clearly encouraging him to leave the room. "Go get your stuff and hit the road."

  He walked past me silently and disappeared into the guest room. After a couple of minutes, he emerged dressed, his duffle on his shoulder. "Is there someone else?"

  "No." I shook my head. "Well, yes, but that doesn't matter. Even if I was totally single, it wouldn't matter."

  I opened the door to the stairs. "One day, you might figure out why I'm emphatically telling you, don't ever contact me again. I want nothing to do with you."

  "Can't you just explain it to me? I thought we were on the same page," he moved into the stairway and looked up at me. In response to his question, I shut the door in his face and locked it.

  Exhaling shakily, I snatched up my phone and called Carson first thing. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

  "Hello?" his voice came over the line, but he was definitely upset.

  "Hey, it's me," I replied.

  "I only answered to tell you it's okay, you don't need to call me." The line went dead.

  Seriously? Come on, Carson. I called again, but it went straight to voicemail. Opening the messaging app, I texted him.

  His phone normally gave a read receipt, but my messages went through without one popping up. After I tried calling again and it went straight to voicemail without ringing, I gave up. He was either out of service or had turned his phone off. And nobody left messages anymore. Because nobody ever checked them. Including me.

  Fuck it. I put on my shoes and grabbed my keys. Finding Carson and explaining Do-Yun was my top priority.

  My emotions choked my throat as I drove toward Carson's house. I'd been pushing him away, determined not to get in too deep, but it seemed like I'd failed. The thought that he believed I was seeing someone else besides him was unbearable. He had to be hurting. He'd been open and upfront about his attraction and desire to have a real relationship. It was me that had been holding back. I had to find him before a simple misunderstanding turned into a ruined relationship. I was not about that drama.

  Pulling up to his curb, I walked fast to the door, pressing the doorbe
ll repeatedly. His truck was in his driveway, not even pulled into the garage. He was home.

  Droo barked like a maniac as I started banging on the door. "Come on, Carson, I know you're home."

  He finally answered the door, opening it and letting Droo out to jump on me. At least one of them was happy to see me. Carson had headphones around his neck. "What?" he asked flatly.

  "It wasn't what it looked like. I'm not seeing anyone besides you."

  Cocking his head, he narrowed his eyes, considering my words. "Okay. Come in."

  "So, what's the explanation?" he asked as he sat on the couch. I wanted to sit close to him but thought maybe I should wait until he'd stopped being mad at me, so I sat in the overstuffed chair across from the couch. Droo turned around in a bunch of circles on his oversized dog bed in the corner and went to sleep.

  "He's my ex."

  He raised an eyebrow.

  "He showed up really early this morning. Out of the blue. He'd driven all night and I was up late the night before. He went to sleep for a few hours in the guest room, and I went back to bed, too."

  "Okay." Carson nodded, but he still looked pissed.

  "When you came, we'd just woken up and I let him shower first. He got out and I got in."

  "Why are you explaining all this to me?" he asked. His demeanor seemed a little less angry.

  I didn't know what to say. If he was just a friend with benefits, it would be much more casual. "Well, if you're just my friend with benefits, why did seeing Do-Yun make you so upset?"

  "I don't want to just be friends," he said firmly. "If I haven't made that clear enough, let me now. I want it all. I want to move forward, eventually move in together. I don't know where the relationship will go, but I want it to be going somewhere."

  Slumping against the chair, I sighed. "I think it's time to tell you what Do-Yun did to me."

  "I can guess," he replied. "You got hurt, and he couldn't hack it. He broke up with you, probably gave you some bogus reason, but you knew it was because of your leg."

  My mouth dropped. I guess I hadn't been as smooth as I thought I'd been when I'd asked him about what he would do in that situation. "Close," I said after recovering my surprise. "He didn't even try. The army had transported me to the hospital in South Korea at my request. I'd wanted to be near him for my recovery. The first time he came to the hospital a couple of miles from our house, I'd been in there a week. He told me that day it was too much, he couldn't handle it."