All He Feels - Dax & Ginny (Crossroads Book 11)

by Melanie Shawn

  But Ginny being here, in his home, made him want things he’d never wanted before. For a second he blamed it on the emotionally draining day he’d had, but he quickly dismissed that theory. He’d had worse days before and although he might have sought temporary comfort in the opposite sex, he never imagined getting down on one knee and slipping a diamond on one of them. He never had visions of any of them walking down the aisle towards him in a white dress. He never wondered what it would be like for any of those women to be the last thing he saw when he went to bed and the first thing he saw when he woke up. Yet he was picturing all that and more with Ginny.

  When he stepped into the bathroom he noticed that it was steamy and saw that a shampoo that wasn’t his was sitting out on the ledge of the shower. There was also a brush with a pink handle on the counter and a new electronic toothbrush beside it. This felt right, too. Her things in his bathroom.

  Unlike the front room it smelled fresh and fruity and he closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply, letting himself take in the feminine scent. As he opened his eyes and turned the water on in the sink, he realized that it was only this morning that he’d been in the shower, fantasizing about a woman he hadn’t seen in months and believed he might never see again. In person, that is. He saw her all the time on magazine covers. Now that woman was in his kitchen and she had made him dinner. Her bag was unpacked and her clothes hung in his guest room. Her toiletries were in his bathroom where she’d been in the shower, naked, just moments before.

  Knowing that if he let himself hike up that thought trail he would end up at Hard-on Mountain he pushed those images out of his mind. For good measure he splashed some water on his face to help snap him out of it. At least for now. Chances were he would revisit it at a later time and add it to the thousands of other Ginny Valentine fantasies he’d had over the past few months.

  He grabbed the hand towel that hung beside the sink, rubbed it over his face and dried his hands before returning it. After taking two deep breaths to try to get his body—that had been at half chub since he’d seen Ginny leaning over his kitchen table—under control.

  As he walked down the hall, back to the kitchen, he used the time to remind himself that he needed to have a talk that he really didn’t think was going to go too well. He had to bring up the fact that her mother had hired Elite Security and requested him to be on her detail. He’d meant to tell her as soon as he walked in, but he hadn’t been counting on her playing out the ultimate fifties housewife fantasy.

  “No.” He heard Ginny’s voice. “Get down. Down.”

  He assumed she thought she was using an authoritative voice but really it sounded like she was amused. As he turned the corner he saw Capone seated at the table, tongue hanging out, panting happily.

  “Tscht.” Dax used the corrective sound that he’d heard on Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan and Capone instantly obeyed him. He jumped off the chair and looked up at him to see what he wanted him to do next.

  “Good boy.” Ginny rubbed him beneath his ears. “What a good boy.”

  Dax hated that in that moment he was actually jealous of his dog, just like he’d been the night that Cap had spent on the couch snuggled up to her.

  She stood and shrugged sheepishly. “I was trying to get him down but he just looked so cute. But I was trying, he just wasn’t listening to me.”

  “He’s a smart dog, he sensed that you didn’t mean business,” Dax explained as he opened the fridge. “You have to be firm or he’ll walk all over you.”

  “Be firm,” she repeated quietly.

  “I have red and white wine, beer, water and soda. What’s your pleasure?” he asked as he stood and looked over his shoulder.

  Her eyes were large and her breathing was labored as she stared up at him with a glazed look.

  “Ginny?” he prompted.

  “Oh, um…” She licked her lips and blinked. “Water is good.”

  He grabbed a water for her and a beer for himself before walking back to the table. When he did she was still staring at him with an odd expression on her face. He’d just washed his face but that didn’t stop him from asking, “Do I have something on my face?”

  “Oh no,” she shook her head and laughed. “Sorry, I just…here let’s eat.”

  Dax nodded as she took her seat across from him and he handed her the bottle of water. Her hand brushed his as she took it from him and he felt a jolt of sensation rush up his arm. If the small intake of air was any indication she felt it too.

  Something was different between them. Before, their first night had been…magic. There was something so pure, so perfect about the time they’d shared. The magic was still there, but there was more. He couldn’t quite figure out what, but he hoped that she’d stay. He hoped she’d agree to let him protect her while she was here so they could figure out whatever was going on between them together.

  * * *

  Ginny couldn’t believe that she’d totally zoned out when Dax had asked her what her pleasure was. It was a common phrase. But hearing him say the word pleasure had sent her senses into overdrive. She’d blanked on what he was actually asking her and was overwhelmed with the kind of pleasure she wanted him to give her.

  Since she arrived on Dax’s porch this morning she felt like she was walking a tight rope of emotion and if she slipped she was either going to belly flop onto a net of embarrassment or crash onto a hard surface of humiliation. All of her daydreams and pep talks couldn’t have prepared her for the reality of being here. In Dax’s home. Taking a shower in his bathroom. Cooking in his kitchen. Seeing him when he came home from work looking so sexy she felt faint. Literally, when he’d walked in she’d gotten light headed.

  She was starting to think that she wasn’t ready for this whole thing. In fact, she’d never felt so out of her element, which was saying a lot considering all the times that she’d been pushed out of her comfort zone in professional settings. Somehow, if there was a mic in her hand she could handle the pressure. But now, sitting across the table from the man that reduced her to a puddle of lust with one glance was so overwhelming she wasn’t sure if she could go through with staying here.

  Most people her age were just graduating college. They were embarking on their careers after having high school and college to find themselves. They’d had the time to make mistakes. To party and experiment.

  She on the other hand, had been working in her field professionally since she was fourteen. At sixteen, her debut album had gone platinum and she had a whole staff of people including a band depending on her to support their families. In her professional life she was so far ahead of her peers but in her personal life she’d barely made it to middle-school-level experiences. She’d never gotten a chance to date, to fall in love, to get her heart broken. To hang out with friends and hook up with the wrong guys or find the right ones.

  Her longing for such experiences was the catalyst for her New Year’s journey. Write an album and release her first single independently which she hoped would garner excitement and possibly even a bidding war before signing with another label. Make some friends outside of the industry. Find her grandfather and connect with him. Cooking. Binge-watch TV shows. Date and possibly, hopefully, lose her virginity.

  But maybe it was naïve to think she could cram years of living and developing into one month. Maybe she should go stay in a hotel or an Airbnb. Maybe she should cut the list down to things she actually had control over like writing her album and releasing her first single.

  She could definitely do that. Cooking healthy meals for herself. She’d already made strides in that direction learning a valuable lesson today—follow the recipe. Binge watch TV shows. That was a no-brainer. Done. As far as making friends, finding her paternal grandfather and dating…those things were beginning to seem out of reach. Unattainable.

  “This is delicious.” Dax spoke and Ginny looked up to see that he was already on his second piece of chicken. He’d finished the first one while she was having her internal crisis.<
br />
  “Oh, good. I’m glad.”

  She cut a piece and speared it with her fork. As she placed the bite in her mouth and began to chew her taste buds were bombarded with flavors. The texture was moist and the temperature was perfect. It was actually delicious.

  “Wow,” she exhaled. “It is pretty good.”

  Dax chuckled. “You sound surprised.”

  “You should have seen the first batch. It was a disaster.”

  “I smelled the aftermath.” His smile lit up his features. “I’m glad you had backup.”

  She felt his grin all the way down to her toes. If she did bail on her plan, she could at least have tonight. And even though it wasn’t technically a date, she and Dax were alone, eating dinner and there was candlelight. This was as close to a date a she’d ever had.

  Nervousness boiled up inside her and she wanted to keep the conversation flowing. When she’d come home with him after that night at the bar, they’d started talking organically and had fallen asleep the same way. This was different. She wasn’t sure what to say so she went with an old standard. “So, how was your day? Did you take care of the situation that came up?”

  Dax’s honey colored stare darkened as his eyebrows pulled tight. “Yeah. We took care of it.”

  Sensing the shift in his energy, Ginny heard herself apologizing. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up a bad subject…I was just trying to…I was just…”

  Wow. It was hard to talk with a foot in your mouth.

  “No. Don’t apologize.” Dax took mercy on her and cut her off. “It’s fine. I try not to take my work home with me, but sometimes you see things and it just sticks with you.”

  Ginny nodded but remained silent. As much as she wanted to be there for him, she didn’t feel right about pushing him to talk about something that he didn’t want to.

  She was actually a little shocked when he continued on his own. “I was at the shelter in the middle of the self-defense class when they had an intake that needed a safe move.”

  “Safe move?” Ginny wasn’t sure what he was talking about.

  “Elite Security offers several services to the shelter. In addition to the self-defense classes we also provide safe moves. We escort women that are leaving a domestic violence situation to their houses to collect their things,” Dax explained. “I try to keep my emotions out of it. I can’t think about what has happened to these women and children because if I do…” Dax’s nostrils flared as his jaw tensed.

  Ginny’s heart broke seeing the pain that this caused him, but she had to admit that she fell just a little bit more for Dax in that moment.

  “Normally, we don’t rush the moves. We take our time and plan out a course of action that will have the least chance of confrontation and contact with the abuser. Today we didn’t have that luxury. The woman’s husband was released on bail this morning unexpectedly after putting his wife in the hospital with some broken bones.

  “When we were tipped off that he was on his way home she grabbed her two-year-old son and left moments before he pulled up in the driveway. In her hurry she didn’t grab her son’s insulin and he’s a diabetic. We had to go back and get the medication.”

  “Oh my gosh.” Ginny’s hand covered her chest.

  “The ex was there. He didn’t put up a fight, but I almost did when I saw how he was staring at her. She did everything we asked. She didn’t look at him or speak to him but I could see the power that he held over her. He was trying to bullshit with us and put on a show like the whole thing was some big misunderstanding.

  “She was terrified. Even with Nate, Riley and I there. Three men whose sole purpose was to protect her and she didn’t feel safe. She was shaking like a leaf, so much that she dropped the medication and flinched as I bent down to help her.”

  Dax shook his head slowly. “She just looked so young…she is young. She’s barely twenty and when I think about what she’s suffered, the road that she has ahead of her, I just…” His words trailed off and he took a drink of his beer.

  That poor girl, and she was still a girl, had a two year old with health issues and was trying to escape an abusive relationship. Her mom was eighteen when she’d had her and Ginny hadn’t had health issues and there’d never been an abusive man in their lives. But growing up with a single mom, she’d seen how much of a struggle that was in itself.

  In an instant, Ginny’s entire life was put in perspective. She’d been so scared of staying here, of trying to spread her wings, cram her high school and college years into four weeks, for what? She felt ridiculous that she’d been so hyperfocused on herself when things like this were going on.

  “Can you send me the name of the shelter?”

  Dax lowered the bottle. “Why?”

  “Every year I donate a portion of my earnings to a charity and I know exactly where this year’s donation is going.”

  A crease appeared on his forehead. “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I know I don’t have to. I want to. I need to. And I want to do more than that. I’d like to volunteer there while I’m in town. Do you have a contact person I can reach out to?”

  “Yeah. I do.” Dax smiled at her, a wide-open breath stealing smile that made her heart do that funny skipping-a-beat thing. His phone buzzed and when he looked down he cursed under his breath. “Sorry. I need to take this.”

  She watched as he stood and walked into the front room speaking quietly. His back was facing her and she couldn’t deny that she took in the view. Her gaze traveled over the broadness of his strong shoulders and down the planes of his muscular back. She’d seen the area bare this morning and the memory of his lines and curves served as x-ray vision. She had a vivid picture of exactly what was beneath the thermal shirt and it was impressive.

  He finished his phone call and returned to the table wearing a hard expression.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “That was Seth. I need to talk to you about something.”

  Oh no. How could she have forgotten to talk to him about her mom? He got home and all rational thought flew out of her head. “Is this about my mom?”

  “Did you talk to her?” His brow furrowed.

  “Yes. She called earlier and said that she contacted Elite Security and requested that you be placed on my security detail.” Ginny had no idea why she felt so nervous having this conversation. “I’m so sorry that she did that. She remembered me talking about you and—”

  “You don’t have to apologize.” Dax spoke over Ginny’s explanation. “Wait. You talked about me? What did you say?”

  His grin was back and so were her butterflies. She was beginning to wonder if the potency of his bad boy smile would ever wear off or if it would just increase in intensity. She could feel her cheeks heating. “I just said that we had a nice talk and you seemed like a good guy.”

  “That’s it?” His brows rose.

  “Yep, that’s it.” That was the gist of it anyway. She didn’t remember verbatim but she knew she’d kept all the details about his appearance or how he made her feel to herself. Her mom had a tendency to overreact to things so she kept a lot of things close to the vest. Including where she was staying. “Does Seth know that I’m staying here? With you?”

  Dax nodded. “I told him that you were, but assured him that there was no conflict of interest.”

  “Conflict of interest?” Ginny had no idea what the conflict could be.

  “I told him that nothing personal was going on between us.”

  Ginny’s heart sank. “You did?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay, good.” And just like that her tight-rope walk ended. She fell face first into the net of embarrassment over the fact that she’d thought there was something personal going on between them. But at least finding out now saved her from that hard crash of humiliation.

  “So should I let Seth know you are on board?”

  The last thing she wanted was to impose on him at his house and his job. “No. I don’t thi
nk it’s necessary for me to have security while I’m here.”

  “So there hasn’t been an excess of attention and paparazzi presence recently? People haven’t been following you. Hiding in bushes. Pretending to be patrons of establishments you are known to frequent?”

  “Well, yeah. But that was in Nashville.”

  His eyes narrowed. “I thought you told me that one of the reasons you loved Nashville is that no one cared who you were. That it was a town you felt safe in and never had to worry about being harassed.”

  “You remember that?” They’d talked about so much the night they’d spent together that she couldn’t imagine he remembered all of it.

  “Yeah, I remember that.” There was an almost pained quality to his voice.

  “Usually Nashville is like that, but right now people are trying to get the inside story on my relationship with Derek so things are a little crazy.”

  “Then there’s a better than not chance that they’ll follow you up here. To Harper’s Crossing? Right?”

  She knew what he was getting at. “I guess. I mean I hope they don’t, but they could.”

  “If that’s the case, don’t you think it’s better to be safe than sorry? And you said your mom worries. Won’t this put her mind at ease?”

  He was saying the same thing that her mom had said and she knew they were both right. “Yes.”

  “So you’ll cooperate?”

  “Yes.”

  A small flash of relief crossed his face before he picked up his phone and typed something. A responding chime sounded moments later. “Seth wants to know if you would like to come in for a strategy meeting.”

  “Do I have to?”

  “It’s not mandatory. If you’d rather I can go through the rundown with you.”

  “That sounds better.”

  He smiled then lowered his head and typed back her response before setting his phone on the table. They sat and ate dinner while talking about their holidays and their lives for the last few months. It was odd to Ginny how fast they slid into the easy rhythm they shared. She wondered if it would continue and she also wondered how she was going to spend a month here and not fall even more in crush with Dax.