All He Feels - Dax & Ginny (Crossroads Book 11)

by Melanie Shawn

  Chapter 7

  “I can’t believe you’ve never seen this show,” Dax commented as the credits rolled on the third episode of the first season of Game of Thrones.

  Ginny stretched her hands over her head and yawned. “I can’t either. I’ve been meaning to watch it since it came out, but I never got around to it.”

  After dinner he’d asked her what she’d wanted to do and without a beat of hesitation she’d answered watch a show on Netflix. As much as he wished that she’d meant she wanted to Netflix and Chill he knew that she actually wanted to watch Netflix and relax. When they started scrolling through the shows she’d asked about Game of Thrones. He told her it wasn’t available on that service but he had every season on DVD.

  For the past three hours she’d been beside him on the couch, snuggled under a blanket. Capone was fast asleep between them. There were so many times he wanted to reach out and pull her up against him. He wanted to pull her onto his lap. He wanted to kiss her until the Starks and King Robert were the last things on her mind. He wanted to touch her and make love to her until winter wasn’t the only thing that was coming. But he couldn’t.

  They now had a professional relationship. Even though he knew that bodyguards hooking up with their clients was as cliché as dudes hooking up with their nannies, he wasn’t going to go down that path. He had no plans to be the Costner to her Houston. Whether or not there was an imminent threat he wasn’t going to let personal feelings get in the way of his job.

  “What do you think of it?” he asked as she stretched her legs out beside him.

  “I love it.” She looked at the screen and her voice was infused with sincerity as she said, “And I can see why everyone was so pissed when they killed off Jon Snow. I would have been heartbroken if I had to wait months to find out if he was still alive or not.”

  He chuckled but had to admit he didn’t like the fact that she kept sighing every time Jon Snow came on the screen. For a guy that had never felt jealous a day in his life, he wasn’t used to feeling that way over first his own dog and now a fictional character.

  “Do you want to watch another one?” He had no idea what her schedule was like.

  Normally he called it a night around eleven and was up at five a.m. But he knew that musicians sometimes kept odd hours. The night she’d come home with him after her performance they’d stayed up until four a.m.

  Another yawn claimed her. “I’m supposed to meet Chase tomorrow at ten. I should probably get some sleep.”

  Disappointment swept through him. Selfishly, he didn’t want their time together to be over.

  “So what started the uptake in tabloid attention?” He needed to have all the details so that he was up to speed and had an idea of what they might be encountering. It was something that he’d planned on discussing with her tomorrow at breakfast, but he just wasn’t ready for this night to end.

  “Ugh.” She let her head fall back against the couch. When she lifted it back up he could see frustration etched in her features. “Remember that I told you about my media relationship with Derek?”

  Yeah. He remembered. It was the only thing that had stopped him from going crazy over the past few months when he kept seeing their photos splashed on the front page of every magazine.

  He nodded.

  “Well, Derek has been shooting a movie in Costa Rica and he was photographed with a topless girl on the beach in some very compromising positions. I was actually relieved when it happened. I’ve hated lying to the press. I mean even though I never commented, it’s basically lying by omission. So I told my manager, now ex manager, that I wanted to be done with it. I figured that it was the perfect out for me. I even drafted a statement saying that Derek and I had gone our separate ways. That the split was amicable and was due to our demanding schedules.

  “But, instead of releasing the statement, Shane decided to fly Derek in to surprise me for my mom’s wedding and to photograph the reunion. He knew that Southern Living was there capturing the big day. I should have held my ground but I got blindsided so I went along with it. That was a week ago and since he flew back to finish shooting the media attention has been out of control.”

  “I’m sorry.” He hated knowing that people followed her. That people were so desperate to get a photo or a quote that they basically stalked her.

  “It’s fine.” She lifted her shoulder in a shrug. “I mean I was feeling a little bit like the walls were closing in on me, but that’s part of what made me come here. I had to take some control back. I sent my mom on the honeymoon. Fired my manager. I left my record label and the first call I made was to Chase. He said he was available and I packed my car and here I am.”

  “How did Shane take you firing him?” He doubted the arrogant prick would handle it well.

  “He’s called a few times. Told me what a big mistake I’m making and reminded me how much he’s done for me.” She sighed. “The thing is, he has. He’s been my manager for eight years and he’s done a lot for me. But I needed him to listen to me and respect my decisions. I think part of the reason that’s hard is because of how long we’ve worked together and how young I was when I signed with him. I think the label is the same way. They still think of me as a young teenager, but I’m not a kid anymore.”

  “No. You’re not.” His voice sounded much deeper than he’d meant it to.

  The dim light of the television danced over Ginny’s face and he watched as her lips parted. Her blue eyes were locked on his and her breathing was coming in shorter pants. As they stared at each other the charge between them was palpable. It was more than mere attraction. Attraction he could deal with. Attraction he could ignore. Attraction he could control.

  This was like a magnetic force that he was powerless to resist pulling them together.

  He wasn’t sure if he started moving first or if she did, but what he did know is they were slowly getting closer. Whether this was a good idea or not didn’t matter as his heart pounded in his chest. Just as her eyes closed and his dropped to her mouth they both flinched and moved away from each other. She turned her head, gagging and he closed his mouth hoping to ward off the toxic fumes.

  “Oh my gosh.” She waved her hand in front of her face as she stood.

  “Capone outside.”

  “That was him?” She looked up in surprise.

  “Did you think it was me?” Dax asked as Capone lazily got off the couch.

  “No!” She laughed. “I thought it was some kind of a sewage leak or something.”

  “He gets bad gas whenever he’s had people food.”

  Her expression turned sheepish and her eyes widened. “Oops. I might have given him some chicken.”

  “It’s fine. He always gets into the trash anyway.” Capone was headed straight to the back door. “I better take him out.”

  She nodded and bit her bottom lip. “I think I’m going to head to bed. See you tomorrow.”

  “Goodnight.”

  She smiled and started down the hall. He watched her go and wished she was going to his room and that they were going to bed together. But he realized he was just happy that she was here and he knew he’d be seeing her tomorrow. He’d take her to Chase’s studio and he would have another day to get to know her. That was more than he’d had this morning and he would take it.

  Chapter 8

  Dax sat on the side of his bed and took off his lifting gloves. He’d spent the past three hours down in his gym. The entire night had consisted of tossing and turning. His body was on full alert knowing that Ginny was just down the hall. At four a.m. he’d given up any hope that he would be getting sleep so he’d gotten up and headed downstairs.

  Even after his punishing workout he still wasn’t sleepy. He was exhausted when he’d drudged back up the stairs and even worried that he might have overdone it and would have a hard time remaining alert today. But then he’d heard the shower running and suddenly he was wide awake. He might have a hard time today but it would have nothing to do with stay
ing sharp.

  His phone buzzed and he saw that it was Riley Sloan. He’d known Riley for a decade, served with him in the Marines, owned two bars with him and also worked with him at Elite Security. Growing up Dax had always wanted a brother and Riley was probably the closest thing he had to one.

  “Hey, man.”

  “She’s staying at your house,” Riley stated flatly, skipping the small talk.

  Dax wasn’t sure if it was a question or not, but he answered it anyway. “Yeah.”

  “And you’re working her security detail.”

  Again, he was unclear if Riley was telling him or asking him but he responded anyway. “Yep.”

  “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

  That was definitely a question. One that Dax deflected. “Nothing’s going on between us.”

  His deflection was met with silence. Dax knew Riley well enough to know that meant he had more to say. He waited to hear what it was but instead of giving him shit he just asked, “Do you think you can come in today for the meeting? We pushed it since you couldn’t make it yesterday.”

  “I think so. Ginny is going to be at the studio with Chase. Once I drop her off I should be able to head over around ten.”

  “See you then.”

  The phone disconnected and he had a feeling Riley was not finished with this subject and his friend would bring up the situation when he saw him. Riley had been one of the only people in Dax’s life that had noticed the change in him the past few months. About a month into his no interest, no spark, no desire dry spell Riley had pulled Dax aside and asked what was going on. Dax had assured him that nothing was wrong. Riley hadn’t pushed Dax but he’d said he knew he was full of shit and he was there if he ever wanted to talk about whatever was bothering him.

  As much as Dax had appreciated the offer he hadn’t taken Riley up on it. What was he going to say? I spent the night with Virginia Valentine, nothing happened but I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s so bad that I’m not interested in other women. When I go to sleep she is the last thing I think about and when I wake up her face is the first image that pops into my mind. I’m scared that she’s ruined me for other women. That was the truth but he knew it sounded crazy, so he’d kept it to himself. And he’s glad he did, otherwise Riley would know that even though it was true nothing physical had happened he would know something had happened.

  He’d spoken to Seth this morning and forwarded Ginny’s tentative schedule to his boss. For the time that Ginny was in town Dax would be accompanying her to the studio and anywhere she needed to go in public. It was a fairly simple assignment. No recon. No high-level security threat. He was basically a glorified babysitter. Normally, that kind of job would have bored the hell out of him, but not this one.

  In front of him Capone flipped over on his back.

  “You’re lucky you’re a cute little cock blocker.” Dax reached down and began rubbing Cap’s belly.

  Last night before he and Ginny had been gassed out, they were about to kiss. He’d played the moments before they’d both started gagging over and over in his mind. It had been on a constant loop. Even now, hours later, he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. There was part of him that was disappointed that he hadn’t been able to taste her sweet lips. He hadn’t brushed his tongue against hers.

  But another part of him was relieved. If they’d kissed he wasn’t sure where that would have led. He wanted to believe that he would have been able to put the brakes on and treat the situation and Ginny with the respect that it and she deserved, but he honestly wasn’t so sure. He had so much pent up desire for her that if she’d wanted to take things further he wasn’t sure he’d have had the discipline to stop before things went too far.

  And then what?

  Where would they be then?

  Would he come clean to Seth?

  Would she still be staying with him?

  As experienced with women as Dax was, relationships weren’t really his strong suit. In fact, he’d never done more than casually date women. No strings. No attachments. No feelings. So he had no idea how to even start or maintain something that was more than just physical.

  He stood and walked to his dresser to grab some clothes for the day when he heard the water in the shower turn off. He had no problem imagining what was going on behind the closed door. He pictured her drying herself off. Bending at the waist as she ran the towel from her ankle, up her slender calf and thighs, across her belly and over her full breasts.

  The tally of things he felt a disproportionate amount of jealousy for kept growing. Capone. Jon Snow. Towel. Basically he wanted to trade places with anything that put a look of longing on her face or touched her body.

  In frustration at his ridiculous behavior, he let out a sigh as he ran his hands through his hair. He needed to get his shit together. She needed a place to stay and she felt safe with him. He was protecting her. They would be spending a lot of time together and his behavior needed to be professional and sane. This pre-mid-life crisis he was experiencing would have to wait.

  He needed to look at her like a friend and client. Nothing more. Not the woman that he couldn’t get out of his mind. Not the woman that had been haunting his every waking moment. Not the woman that he dreamed of every night. He needed to keep his distance. Be polite and friendly but at arm’s length. He had to remember that and steel himself for the next time he saw her angelic face and looked into the endless depths of her ocean blue eyes.

  Inhaling deeply through his nose he forced himself to push all thoughts of her being anything other than those two things out of his mind. And that’s when he heard it. He heard her singing through the door. He’d heard her perform on stage live twice at his restaurant, he’d downloaded her music to his phone, but hearing her like this, a cappella after she just got out of the shower was more intimate. More real. More raw.

  “If I could I would, I would live, live in the moment, the moment I knew, I knew it would always be you,” she sang and then repeated twice.

  He didn’t recognize the song but the lyrics were incredible and the melody was soulful and reminiscent of greats like Rosemary Clooney, Roberta Flack, Patsy Cline and Billie Holiday. That was the music that he’d grown up listening to. His mom would play it when she was cooking or cleaning. When he was a pre-teen he’d been embarrassed to bring his friends home and have “I Fall to Pieces” or “Killing Me Softly” blasting from the kitchen. His sister always loved it though. Maybe that’s why his mom and sister were such big Virginia Valentine fans, because they heard that quality in her voice.

  He heard the door open and shut to the guest room and he grabbed his underwear, jeans and long-sleeve Henley. As he walked into the bathroom she’d just vacated he inhaled the tropical island breeze scent of her body wash.

  Without even laying eyes on her again his plan to keep her at a distance unraveled like a roll of toilet paper in the hands of a cat. The smell of femininity, the sight of her things scattered around his personal space, and the sound of Ginny singing in the morning had demolished any walls he’d managed to erect. He had no idea how he was going to keep things from getting personal. This felt personal. For the first time in his life this felt like home.

  * * *

  Ginny rushed out of the bathroom and quickly jotted down the lyrics that she’d written in her head when she was in the shower so she didn’t forget them. She sang them softly as she did. “If I could I would, I would live, live in the moment, the moment I knew, I knew it would always be you.”

  Last night she’d been struck with inspiration when she and Dax shared their moment on the couch. She’d never felt anything like that before. She’d only kissed a total of two people. Her first kiss had been with a drunk guy under the mistletoe at her label’s Christmas party when she was nineteen. She hadn’t even known it was coming, she was standing in a doorway and he walked up and planted one on her. When she reared back he pointed up at the leaves and holly above her head and stumbled away. The second had be
en staged and it was with Derek St. Vincent. They’d been “caught” smooching at a restaurant.

  She and Derek had actually kissed several times since then for the media. On a scale from one to ten she would rate them solid fives. They were fine. Not earthshattering and not horrible.

  But last night, when Dax was leaning in, coming closer and closer to her, she felt more in that moment than any of the times she’d actually kissed someone. His lips hadn’t touched hers but somehow she’d felt them. She’d felt the tingle of anticipation spread from her lips, down her neck and race through her body.

  As much as she’d wanted to know what it would feel like for him to press his mouth to hers, she also wished that she could freeze time. She wanted time to stand still so she could remain in that exact moment. Right then, if Dax had asked her to marry him, she would have said yes. She would have walked down the aisle. She would have followed him anywhere.

  It wasn’t logical. The only way she knew how to describe it was when she’d heard people talk about their soul recognizing its mate.

  She was beginning to think that love didn’t make sense. Not that she was in love with Dax. Or at least she didn’t think she was. She didn’t really know. But she knew what she wanted to work on when she got in the studio with Chase. She’d been trying to come up with a theme for her next record. She knew she wanted it to tell a story. A story she hadn’t told before.

  Love. Relationships. Heartache. Those were common themes in country music but not ones that she’d written about. She’d sung about those themes, but it was always as an outsider looking in. She hadn’t seen firsthand or experienced any of those things. But with this project she wanted to witness or live them so she could feel the words she sang.