Light (Beautiful Ashes #3)

by Lora Ann

  God, not that! Keeley flinched at the terminology, fighting the demon’s voice that whispered, “I told you. He could never love you.”

  Tar’s head angled as he observed. “Damn,” he barked, “you’re good.”

  “Good at what, exactly?” She leveled a look at him.

  “This,” he swept a hand in the air indicating her, “façade of actually being in turmoil.”

  “See, my dark angel, he knows you are incapable of telling the truth.” The hiss at her ear, along with what was once fact, held her in place.

  She fought to edge closer to him, finally managing a step forward. “Once upon a time, you’re right, I could fake just about any emotion to get what I wanted. I’d find it hard to trust me, too,” she admitted, now standing directly in front of him. She held up her hands peacefully. “Can we start over by simply being civil?”

  “Ha!” mocking laughter filled the air, “that’s priceless, slut.”

  Different approach—she needed to come up with one immediately. “You don’t have to like what I say, next, but you need to hear it.” Her spine now steel as she gazed into the eyes of the man she loved. “We are engaged. I do love you. Lisa is the liar.”

  He balked, “No, you have this all wrong.”

  “Do I?”

  “If I loved you enough to ask you to marry me, don’t you think that love would prevail no matter if I remembered or not?”

  A rasped, “He’s right,” came from the demon right behind her.

  “Your mind is made up that I’m your enemy, and we all know how powerful that can be. But,” she reached up and hovered just above his heart, “this knows.”

  He snatched her hand and moved it to his cock. “And I suppose because I’m hard, this knows too?”

  She swallowed past the giant lump in her throat. “Your body remembers, yes.”

  He began to move her hand across the barely there material. “My body knows you’re a very sexy woman and is simply responding.” He stepped away from her. “But make no mistake,” now growling as his finger went to his temple, “this knows you’re a siren.” He picked her up and set her in the hall. “Don’t come back.”

  The door slammed in her face. As if that weren’t enough humiliation, it was followed by Lisa’s scathing comment. “You lose, Keeley. He’s mine. Always has been. Always will be.” She fluttered her fingers. “Now, be a good little girl and go.”

  The demon wrapped his arm around her shoulder as her head dropped in defeat. But she pulled away from him and spun around, getting right in Lisa’s face.

  “You may have won the battle. Bitch. But this is a fucking war,” she hissed through clenched teeth. To keep from ripping Lisa’s hair out, she took a step back and rubbed her hands down the sides of her jeans. Her eyes were sparking with the fire inside. “I. Will. Win.”

  Lisa laughed again. “Honey, just accept that I’m better for him. I mean,” she scoffed, “What kind of wife would a drug-whore be?”

  Again, Keeley fought the urge to grab her head and slam it into the wall. “You’re already married! To his brother!” she half yelled before calming her voice. No way her insides were going to find peace. Her glare calling Lisa every curse word she knew as she spat out, “It takes a whore to know a whore. Watch yourself, because I’m on to you.”

  “He loves me. Not you!” she screeched.

  “Really?” Keeley pointed out, “Then I’m no threat to you. But if that’s the case, why are you out here with me?”

  “I-I-,” she spluttered, “you were blocking my entrance.”

  Keeley shot her a sly grin. “Keep telling yourself that. But we both know it’s a lie.” She turned to walk away before the desire to beat the ever-loving shit out of Lisa won.

  “It’s true, Keeley,” came the loud proclamation, “Tar loves me. Only me.”

  She refused to let Lisa see how much the words cut. But as she rounded a corner, the demon took his pound of flesh. “He was never yours. Come with me,” he traced the inside of her arm, drawing blood.

  Her head fell back as she slid against the wall in the hallway. Pain. The familiar bite taking her out of this misery. The lights flickered. She looked up in fascination, surrounded by something so bright and warm. Out of shame she put her wounded arm behind her. The lit fingers trailed along it, bringing her arm forward. She stared in awe as the bleeding stopped. His firm, “Tar needs you,” stirring her like nothing else could.

  She wanted to argue how there was no way she could help him. But something inside knew she was the only one. Love was sacrifice. “Show me what I need to do,” she said with resolve.

  Chapter Four

  “Stupid slut isn’t going to take what’s clearly mine,” Lisa told herself in the bathroom mirror. Tar was resting, giving her the much-needed time to concoct a plan. She admitted her husband was a huge obstacle. But so was Tar’s memory. Either one of those came back, she was doomed. Though having Chase eliminated was as easy as a fuck. That was all Clark would require to get the job done. And he wasn’t all that bad in the sack, or rather, against the wall. His preferred way to get off. She didn’t judge. Everyone had their kink. Mind made up, she eased back into the hospital room, noticing Tar’s gaze flashing to hers. “Hey, baby,” she crooned.

  He cocked his jaw. “Baby?”

  Oh shit! She schooled her features. “Sorry. Old habit.” A raised brow told her something was off. She attempted to test him. “Cole is super excited to show you his newest drawing.” She turned to get her son.

  “Stop, Lisa!” Tar rumbled.

  Her pivot was slow and deliberate as she stared down at the floor. “Is something wrong?” she whispered.

  “Seriously! I know you had something to do with Keeley falling from that window. I don’t suppose you’d willingly tell me the truth,” he shook his head while rubbing the large bump.

  She didn’t miss the wince of pain on his face. That injury was her ticket to all she wanted. How could she make it permanent? And definitely not like this. She needed the old Tar back. Her gaze met his as she shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.”

  “Pfft…you are such a liar. Pretty, yes. But still, all about you.” He glanced around the room, about to say more, when the door opened.

  She watched his face light up with anticipation before it fell in disappointment. Who did he expect? But there was no denying the love she saw for her son as he ran and jumped up on Tar. “Look what I did?” he sang out.

  Tar chuckled. “Show me.”

  Cole gently held up his masterpiece. “Do you see?”

  “I do, Buddy.” Tar’s voice so full of raw emotion it brought Lisa to his side.

  She gasped, “Cole! Why would you draw something so awful?”

  The little boy’s head hung in hurt and shame. “I’m sorry, Mommy.”

  Tar shot her a nasty glare as he held his nephew close. “You did nothing wrong, Partner. Thank you for my wonderful picture.” Lisa began to speak until he growled a warning, “Be nice.”

  Her throat suddenly dry, she spoke softly, “I was just in shock, baby,” reaching up to pet her son’s head, “You did a great job.”

  Cole wiped his snotty nose across Tar’s chest. “Really?”

  “Yes,” she fought back her anger. Her son had no clue he’d just answered Tar’s question. God, she didn’t realize what all he’d seen that night. “Honey, you were in the bedroom with us?”

  His eyes wide as he shook his little head. “Nooooo!”

  Her puzzled look met Tar’s all-knowing one. “Buddy, were you watching from the door?”

  A sharp intake of breath answered that. Fuck! What could she do to fix this? She gave her son a stern, “You shouldn’t spy on people, Cole Andrew McNeil.”

  “I know, Mommy. I’m sorry.”

  “Cole, you saw something a child shouldn’t see.” Tar sighed, “However…the door should’ve been locked.” His pointed gaze now on Lisa’s.

  She nodded, still trying to figure out how she could worm ou
t of this.

  Cole reached up to hug his uncle, forgetting about the stitches on the back of his head. His tiny hands were covered in blood when he pulled them away. He gasped, “Oh no!”

  Tar grabbed the sheet and wiped his fingers. “Doesn’t hurt, Buddy.”

  Lisa eyed the agony in the lines around Tar’s eyes and mouth. “Sweetie, why don’t you go get Uncle Tar a cup of water.”

  “O-kay,” he studied both adults before leaving.

  “Motherfuuuuuuck,” he howled. Both hands on his head as the piercing pain took over.

  His vision fuzzy as Lisa leaned in. “There, there,” she whispered, pressing too hard on his injury.

  He tried to fight out of her grasp, but her nails dug in. Flashes played in a vibrant display: Lisa attempting to seduce him. Keeley falling. Him dangling precariously over the ledge. He fought for more clarity, grasping her digging fingers and yanking.

  She screamed, “Oh my, God! Shit! Tar! Tar! Taaaaaarrrrrrrr!”

  But it was too late, Tar had lost consciousness.

  A nurse came running in, “What’s all the commo…damn,” she hit a button, and Lisa moved to the side as a team rushed in.

  She sat there in horror. “What have I done? Dear, Lord, what did I do?”

  A soft child’s voice was at her ear. “Mommy. You hurt Uncle Tar.”

  She grabbed her son and held him close. “No, baby. You did.”

  *****

  “Hey there.” Mitch sat down next to Keeley on the hall floor. “Whatch ya doin’ down here?”

  She angled her gaze at him. “You didn’t see?”

  “See what? Tar? No, haven’t gone in there yet.”

  “Why not?”

  “Nice try,” he chuckled. “But I’m on to that game. Start talking.”

  Damn! How could she explain angels without him thinking she needed to be locked away? Searching for just the right words, she queried, “Do you believe in the supernatural?”

  He straightened. “Of course.”

  Here goes nothing. “I had a visitor,” she admitted.

  “Go on,” he encouraged.

  Instead of explaining, she held out her arm for inspection.

  He shot a puzzled look at her. “When?”

  “Well,” she sighed, “I needed grounding.” Her head held in shame and condemnation she knew he was about to give.

  “No judgement from me, Keeley,” he assured. “I do wish you would find a healthy alternative.”

  “Yeah,” she glanced off into the distance before cocking her head his way. “Thing is I just did it, like no more than ten minutes ago.”

  He grabbed her arm again and studied it closely. “Not possible.”

  She smirked. “It is when a heavenly being touches you.”

  He dropped her arm and stood. “You fuckin’ with me?”

  “Not one bit,” she affirmed, standing next to him.

  “I’ll be damned,” he said, with not a little awe, as he turned her wrist this way and that. “What’d he say?”

  “Tar needs my help.” She swallowed at the enormity of those four words.

  “Affirmative.” He squared his shoulders and took hold of hers. “You got a plan?”

  She nodded. “You won’t like it.”

  “Hit me.”

  “I want to go back in. Undercover.”

  He blanched, shaking his head emphatically.

  Her hands now held onto his biceps. “Mitch, hear me out. I could get info no one else can. Yes, you’re able to send in another female operative, but it would take her days, weeks, hell, maybe months, to be trusted. Not to mention, tried in all sorts of unspeakable acts.”

  “And you could do it again, be used and abused.” His arms now crossed in front of him. “You’d betray the man you love, once more?”

  “NO,” she yelled. “I would never hurt Tar like that.” She sighed heavily. “And I couldn’t let anyone abuse me.”

  “Keeley,” he warned, “you’re not able to do this. I’m sorry.”

  “What if she had help?” The voice familiar as Keeley pivoted.

  “You’ll let me do this, E?”

  “Not let you,” he scoffed. “But…I happen to know Kincaid women. No, will only fuel your fire.”

  Mitch stroked his jaw. “True that.”

  E shot him a knowing grin. “Lacey learns what we’re about to do, fuckin’ A, she’ll either join her,” inclining his chin toward Keeley, “or take my balls.”

  “Probably both, my man.” Mitch clapped his arm. “A risk you’re willing to take?”

  “Is there really a choice? Tar needs her.” Again, his head tilted toward Keeley. “And I can’t let my little sister go into the devil’s lair without backup.”

  “Fuck a duck, that means I have to cover both of your asses,” he growled.

  “Maybe…not.” Keeley grinned. “Mitch, can you call a meeting?”

  He met her gaze with trepidation and anticipation. Damn, this little woman was becoming a formidable warrior. And she was earning all of his respect in the process. “Done.”

  They watched Mitch walk away as E turned and cautioned, “Keeley Ann, for the love of all that is holy, you better not get yourself killed.”

  She giggled, “Or you. Lacey is a scary bitch when she’s pissed off.”

  “No shit,” he gasped at the knowledge of his wife’s temper. Hard to get her there, but once she was, she became a force like no other.

  *****

  The meeting was all set up. Keeley wanted one more glimpse of Tar before she marched into harm’s way for his sake. She sat next to him, holding his hand. “I know you don’t remember me,” she started, “but…”

  “But what?” he moaned.

  She leaned over to his face. “Can you open your eyes?”

  “Hurts too much.” He winced.

  “Do you know my voice?”

  “I’m not sure. But it’s a beautiful one.”

  She swiped at the tears brimming. “Just rest and get better, okay?”

  “Roger that,” he groaned.

  “Shhh, Tar.” She kissed the corner of his mouth. “Sleep.”

  The lines in his face relaxed slightly. “No matter what,” she whispered against his cheek, “know I love you with all that I am.” She grabbed a tissue and hurried from the room before she couldn’t.

  Tar mumbled, “Keeley, I love you,” before the pain medication took effect.

  Everything in her wanted to rush back and demand he remember.

  Remember her.

  Remember them.

  Remember their love.

  Instead, Keeley forced one foot in front of the other. Determination in each step, she would save the man she loved, or die in the process.

  Chapter Five

  Each sat at the table caught in the seriousness of the situation. Chase might be dead and they needed confirmation one way or the other. He was key to Keeley’s strategy. Goddamn plan was what set them all on edge. Could they really support such an out of the box idea? Then again, it was the only choice that made sense.

  “You understand that you may not come back from this, baby girl?” Nik held her gaze with firm conviction that she wasn’t seeing this clearly.

  Keeley nodded in response.

  His responsibility to be the voice of reason. “No. You answer me loud and clear. Because I’m not just talking physically.”

  Her head angled. “What do you mean?”

  “He’s saying,” E cocked his jaw, “you may not come back mentally or emotionally from this.”

  Mitch leveled his gaze on hers from across the table. “And even if you come back unscathed, you may lose Tar forever.” He sighed. “Have you considered the two options carefully?”

  “Two?” Her brows scrunched with consideration. She thought she’d weighed the possibilities before ever speaking up.

  “One…he won’t ever regain his memory to care what you’ve done.” He held up his second finger. “Two…he’ll never, ever forgive yo
u for something that damn near tore out his heart once before.”

  “Wait!” E came to her defense. “Do you honestly think she’d actually let another man touch her sexually after that debacle with Braxton?”

  Mitch’s brows were raised. Keeley’s eyes darted from E to Nik to Mitch. A cold settled over her as her pulse raced. Not out of the desire for pain but fear she couldn’t stop herself if presented with the opportunity. Tar’s anguish danced through her memory. How she almost destroyed their love over a fucking addiction she never wanted. With a deep fortifying breath, she met each pair of eyes. Resolve settling in her gut as she declared, “God as my witness, I will do everything in my power to save the man I love. If, at any point, I feel that I’m incapable of this operation, rest assured I know how to phone home.”

  E’s lips raised in a slight smile. “Atta girl.”

  “Okay then,” Nik placed his hand on her shoulder.

  Mitch stood. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

  Keeley watched each man take his leave. What they didn’t quite comprehend was that she not only wanted to do this for Tar, she needed to do it for herself. She had to know if she really could stand in and sacrifice it all for love. Her heart demanded she learn to fight when everything screamed turn and run. She pushed back from the table and caught her reflection from a mirror on the wall. “Time to see what you’re really made of, Keeley Ann. Sink or swim.”

  *****

  The dream so real he could feel her lips against his. Their pulses raced as bodies joined. Tar sat up expecting her to be right beside him. His eyes taking in where he was. Sterile, smelled of disinfectant, bed was small and uncomfortable, his mind providing the information—hospital. He jumped up desperate to find Keeley.

  His search through the hospital only brought more questions. All he learned was that she wasn’t a patient. Anything further was considered confidential. He sat on the edge of his bed, willing his memory to provide the missing chunks needed to locate her. His only recollections were broken at best. He saw her fall from the bedroom window where he was with—fighting hard to remember—dear God, Lisa?! Before he could pull that memory into full view, he watched Keeley fall from the roof. No. No. No. He refused to believe what his mind was showing. He stood too fast and grasped the tray table that’s wheels weren’t locked in place. The howl, “NOOOOOOOOOOO! Keeley, no, you can’t be gone!” erupted as he fell.