by Donna Alward
So he forced himself to take his time. To make it last, to make it good for both of them.
He started with her lips, tasting them, running his tongue over the softness of them. He explored her mouth, closing his eyes, loving the feel of her tongue twisting with his as small sounds of pleasure hummed in her throat.
Next he feasted on her breasts, exploring them with the pads of his fingers, replacing the tactile trails with his mouth. So soft, the curved swells sweet and salty on his tongue as he pulled the pebbled tips into his mouth. Then the sensitive indent of her stomach, which hollowed as she gasped at the first sensation of lips to skin.
And finally, when he couldn’t wait any longer, he kissed her intimately, his heart hammering a victorious tattoo as she surrendered, opening her knees to allow him access. Her fingers found his hair and caressed his scalp as he tasted her.
But ultimately it wasn’t enough. He needed her. Needed to be inside her, to feel her surround him completely. He slid off the bed, went to the table beside the bed and took out a condom. He’d bought the box after their day at the beach. What had happened that afternoon had been a surprise. Despite how it had ended, he hadn’t wanted to be surprised again and caught without protection.
They’d been heading this way all along, hadn’t they?
When he came back to the bed she was watching him with eyes that glittered like dark sapphires. He didn’t look away but let himself get lost in her eyes, let himself give in to the connection that ran between them, hot and insistent. Her long lashes fluttered as he slid inside her. She felt so good, so tight and warm and right. He hesitated, savoring the moment of being joined for the first time, watched as her eyes opened. Something inside him shifted, something fragile and not quite identifiable, but something important just the same. The teasing smile slid from his lips as he put his weight on one arm and touched her cheek with his free hand. He felt…tenderness. He cared about her like he hadn’t allowed himself to care about anyone in a long time. And he hadn’t even seen it coming.
She ran her thumb over his lower lip, then slid her hand down to grasp his hip. She shifted, a subtle turning movement that made him forget everything but the delicious sensation of being inside her.
“Jake,” she whispered, her voice a seductive sigh in the low light. “Mmm, Jake.”
The soft way she said his name nearly did him in, and he slid a hand under her bottom for leverage. He hadn’t guessed she could be this way. So gorgeous, so free, so perfect. He was nearly to the breaking point when she put her hands on his hips.
“Stop,” she said, licking her lips and gasping for breath. “I want…I need…”
Her cheeks were flushed and he couldn’t resist one long, slow stroke. She blinked and dug her fingers into his shoulder. “Please,” she begged. “Roll over, Jake.”
Roll over. Desire coiled low in his belly as he slid his arm beneath her and rolled, taking her with him until she sat astride his hips. She lifted her hips and then repositioned, moving tentatively at first but then faster and stronger, tightening around him. He couldn’t hold on much longer, not with the way she was moving and how she tilted her head back, making her hair fall over her shoulders as the urgency built. A hoarse cry tore from her throat as her muscles convulsed, and he lost his tentative grip on control. His cries blended with hers as she slipped forward, her soft breasts pressed against his chest, the pounding of her heart and her quick breaths imprinted on his skin.
After a few seconds of catching their breath, she put her hands on his chest and pushed herself up, still sitting on his hips, still holding him inside her. Her skin was rosy and her eyes bright… Good God, what a sight she made, all feminine power and prowess that he’d never expected from the uptight little package he thought he knew.
This…this was a woman he could fall for. Goddamn.
“That,” she said with a satisfied smile, “was incredible.”
“You’re telling me,” he answered, uncomfortable with the odd pull on his heart.
“So much better than…” She blushed. “Oh, that’s the wrong thing to say, isn’t it?”
And there it was. The innocence he always seemed to glimpse in her, behind the rule follower and starchy persona. Better than what? Better than who? Right now even the idea of her being in another man’s arms made him feel possessiveness he’d never felt before.
Shit. He was falling for her.
Chapter Seven
Jake had pulled the covers over them at some point through the night. Right now Kendra was on her side, Jake spooned up behind her, his body strong and warm as it held her in a protective cocoon. His hand was on her breast and she took a moment to enjoy the odd but pleasurable sensation of the sheets caressing her naked skin.
Making love with Jake had been so much more than she’d expected. What she’d needed was a hard and fast release from the stress of the day. Something to blast away the tension that had been dogging her for days now. Ever since…well, ever since she’d responded to his break and enter. At first she’d thought it was simple physical attraction.
But now she wasn’t so sure. She’d come to him last night because she’d needed him. She knew that now. She’d needed to talk it out with someone who understood. And sex hadn’t been just a distraction. There’d been that moment, the one where he’d stopped and gazed into her eyes. Her heart was involved. She cared about Jake. She wasn’t in love with him…she wasn’t really capable of being in love with anyone, was she? If she was, wouldn’t it have happened at least once by now?
His hand shifted, gently fondling her breast, and arousal coiled itself through her again. The only other time she’d had sex had been to finally rid herself of the albatross of virginity that had hung around her neck. After a certain age, it was just weird, wasn’t it? To never have been with a man? She’d liked Mark and it had been…pleasant enough, she’d supposed.
But it was gray and pale in comparison to what had exploded between her and Jake here last night. It was glorious and scared her to death at the same time.
Jake nudged closer, his intentions crystal clear, and she closed her eyes. Jake wasn’t the kind of man most women considered a keeper, was he? And the last thing he’d want to do the morning after was a whole post-mortem of the whys and wherefores.
She’d get up, get dressed and move on.
Later, she thought, as his tongue touched the skin of her shoulder blade. Right after she sated this hunger that suddenly burned inside her. Surely once more would satisfy her for good…
Turkey and cheese on whole grain was not exactly what Kendra would call a gourmet dinner, but at least it was decent fuel. She stood in her small kitchen, still in her shorts and sport bra, both damp from her hour-long session with dumbbells and the yoga mat. She’d worked her chest and arms today, alternating pushups with curls and triceps extensions. Right now her criteria for supper were simple. It had to have protein and it couldn’t be anything that required her to lift her arms farther than shoulder height. They were currently like jelly.
She was halfway through her sandwich and on her third glass of water when there was a knock on her door.
She looked through the Judas hole and saw Jake standing there. She hadn’t seen him since that morning…the morning they’d left things friendly but ambiguous. She didn’t think being with Jake had been a mistake, but neither was she looking for a relationship. Apparently Jake wasn’t either, because he hadn’t put up any argument. If anything, they’d parted on relaxed terms.
Only she hadn’t felt all that relaxed. Because she couldn’t escape the memory of how it had felt to be curled up in his lap, to cry on his shoulder and to wake up with him surrounding her the next morning. Those things had nothing to do with sex…and that made her uneasy.
“Kendra, open up.”
She stepped back from the door as if he could see through the peephole on the other side. What a ninny she was. Letting out a breath, she snagged her T-shirt from a chair and pulled it over her head before s
he opened the door.
“Jake. What brings you by?”
It was casual and cool and she gave herself a mental pat on the back. He stepped inside and held out a piece of paper. “I thought you might be interested in this. It could be fun, if you’re not on shift.”
She took the yellow paper from his hands and read the black printing. “A golf tournament?”
“It’s a benefit on the Labor Day weekend for one of my parent’s neighbors. Their kid is really sick and my dad’s a member of the club. A bunch of them got together and organized it as a fundraiser. We’ve got corporate sponsors lined up and it’s forty dollars for the day. That gives you your green fees, a cart and a steak dinner at the end of the day.”
“I don’t know, Jake.”
“Gabe and Carly are with me. But we need a fourth to make a team.”
“I don’t golf.”
“I’ll teach you. It’s Texas Scramble anyway, best ball off the tee. You’ll be fine.”
She turned away, holding the paper tightly in her fingers. The damnable thing was that she wanted to go. She liked Gabe. He was a good paramedic and Carly seemed sweet and nice. But it would look like a couple’s outing.
“I’ll have to check my schedule.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Kendra Givens, you are a liar. You know your schedule from now until the end of September.”
He was right. She did. It irked her that he already knew her so well.
“If you don’t want to go, just say so.”
“It’s not that, it’s…” She handed the paper back to him. “It’s just that Gabe and Carly are engaged, and if I go with you it’ll look like…well, like we’re together.”
“Would that be such a bad thing?”
Would it? She wondered how it would appear to her coworkers, but if she were being honest with herself none of them had a problem with Jake. Hell, it wasn’t uncommon for the guys to stop off for an after-work drink and a basket of wings.
No, the problem was hers. And lately she was having a harder time coming up with excuses as to why Jake was so very bad. Especially now that she knew about Khaterah.
“I’ll think about it,” she prevaricated. “I was just having a sandwich. You want one?”
She turned her back and went to the counter to get her plate. Jake shut the door behind him. “I ate at the pub. It was Guinness Pie night.”
The dry turkey sandwich tasted bland next to the idea of beef smothered in gravy and topped with flaky pastry. She pushed the remaining pieces away.
He looked around her apartment. “Nice place. A little on the sparse side.”
She knew it wasn’t overly cozy. Even his place above the pub had some homey touches—a family picture on the coffee table, a homemade quilt on the arm of a chair. Kendra’s place was functional, she knew that. She’d never learned how to make a home even though she’d always wanted one. They had moved so often that it had seemed pointless. Besides, making it their own would have meant getting attached, and keeping things easy and bare had become a form of self-preservation.
“I work, I sleep,” she answered.
“And work out.” He nodded towards the corner of the living room that was set up with a weight bench, the racks of dumbbells against the wall. Her yoga mat was rolled up again.
“That too.” Uncomfortable with his assessment, she gave her shoulder a shrug. “Was the golf tournament all you wanted?”
He stared at her for such a long moment she started to squirm on the inside, even though she kept her outer body calm. “I thought we were going to keep this friendly,” he said, putting his hands in his jeans pockets.
This was friendly—for her. He probably didn’t realize she’d never entertained here, never had people over. She always kept to herself.
“I’m sorry,” she answered, going back into the kitchen and keeping her hands busy by scraping the rest of her sandwich into the compost bin. “You took me by surprise, Jake, and I’m not very good at this.”
“Good at what?”
Good at pretending. Good at trying to be blasé and all platonic when what she really wanted was to kiss him again and see if he tasted like she remembered. She dropped the plate into the sink a little loudly.
“Any of this, actually. The after stuff. I’ve never had to do it before.”
“Never?”
It was all coming out wrong. “Oh, for Pete’s sake.”
He laughed. “It’s kind of cute seeing you all flustered. You’re usually in control.”
Control. The very word sent her straight back to his bedroom, straddling his thighs. She swallowed the saliva that suddenly pooled in her mouth. That morning was supposed to be it. Supposed to get him out of her system, relieve her stress, move on. Instead he was standing in the middle of her colorless apartment making her want him simply by breathing in the same space she was.
“What do you want, Jake?”
“Well…” He drew out the word suggestively. “Other than the golf thing, I can’t stop thinking about cake in a cup. I was thinking you might offer me dessert. Since it only takes three minutes. Or so you claimed.”
Of course he would remember. “You want me to make you cake in a cup.”
“Come on, I’ve cooked for you twice now. You owe me.”
He was right, of course. Each time they’d been on his turf, at Jake’s. Even the day at the beach had been courtesy of a family friend of his. She went to the cupboard and took out two mugs. “Fine,” she said. “Cake in a cup coming up. Have a seat.”
She mixed the sugar, egg, oil, cocoa, milk, flour and vanilla in the cup and put it in the microwave to let it cook while she mixed up the next cake. While it was cooking, she took the first one out of the mug and put it on a plate. “Ice cream?”
“Of course. What’s warm cake without ice cream?”
The microwave beeped as she scooped out the ice cream—the premium kind with dark flecks of vanilla bean throughout. What the hell, she thought, reaching inside the fridge for the fudge sauce. She poured some in a small cup and heated it too, then poured it over both cakes. She took both into the living room and handed one to Jake, who was sitting on the couch.
“Hmm,” he said. “It looks like cake.”
Her lips twitched. “It is cake. Fast cake.” She aimed a significant look at him. “Emergency cake.”
He laughed, took his fork and cut off a piece. “Hmm,” he said again. “It tastes like cake. Kind of.”
“The texture isn’t very fine, it’s true,” she admitted, cutting into her own, adding some ice cream and sauce to the fork. “But it fits the major criteria. It’s chocolate, it’s fast and it’s warm.”
The atmosphere seemed to relax a bit as they ate, but once Jake put his plate down on the coffee table she felt his eyes on her again. She took the last bit of ice cream from her plate and savoured the vanilla flavor, but then put her plate down too, wondering what was going to happen next. What did she want to happen? For Jake to leave? Or for something more? It would be so much easier if she weren’t so confused about it all.
“You’ve got some chocolate sauce…” he murmured, sliding closer. She stared at him, mesmerized as his face came closer. She clasped her hands in her lap. She would not reach out for him. She would not touch him.
But he touched her. He kissed the corner of her mouth, then used his tongue to remove any trace of the hot fudge. Kendra’s body went into a slow meltdown. How was it he could do this every time? Did she have no willpower where he was concerned?
“Mmm,” he murmured. “Better than the cake.”
She expected him to take things to the next level, but instead he sat back and rested his hand on her knee. He didn’t touch her anywhere else.
She didn’t understand. If this was all about sex he would be touching her in a way that didn’t feel quite so…platonic. She’d be able to stop him and finally explain that she couldn’t do this. It had very little to do with the fact that he owned a bar anymore. It was easier to blame the
bar owner than it was the individual who was responsible for their own choices. No one had held her mother down and forced her to drink. Kendra’s mom had made the choice and Kendra had paid the price for it.
And it had next to nothing to do with the fact that he’d run wild when he came back to town. It was all to do with her. She didn’t know how to do this. She wasn’t sure what to do with what she was feeling. Because it was more than physical. And if it was more than that for Jake too, they were in big trouble.
“Your mind is going a mile a minute,” Jake commented, squeezing her knee. “Don’t try so hard, Kendra.”
“I thought…” She couldn’t possibly say what was on her mind. It all sounded so stupid and conceited. I thought you were going to seduce me. I thought you were going to touch me. And the I thought it was just sex sounded so cold and calculating.
“You thought I wanted more than cake?”
She nodded.
His eyes lit and he pseudo-smiled, but he didn’t move any closer. “I do. But I’m not in any rush.”
She gripped her fingers together so tightly her knuckles turned white. “You’re not?”
He shook his head. “I’ve realized something the last few days. This thing with us…it’s not going away. I think about you. A lot. And it’s not just about wanting you. I mean we could do that. We could go at it like bunny rabbits in the hope that it would just burn itself out. But I can’t do that sort of thing anymore, Kendra.”
“You can’t?” Her heart seemed to be lodged inside her throat. She was terrified of what he was saying, both the holding back part and the bit about wanting her.
“It’s extreme behavior. The other night we needed each other and it was good.” His jade-green eyes held her captive while his strong fingers stroked the skin just above her knee. “But I realized I can’t use you to lose myself again, you know? I don’t want you to be a different kind of addiction. A different way for me to avoid dealing with things.”
