Cyprian the Fair

by C. L. Cattano

  She would begin taking back control of everything today—first Eden then the school bag and its contents. After today, she could go back to her routine, and bide her time Gabri and Nora were ready to leave on tour. Then she could start over somehow. Maybe she could find a new therapist. One Gabri doesn’t talk to. She could talk to them about how to do it—start over. She loved it in Italy, but she thought she would have to go somewhere else, somewhere new. Maybe Barcelona, Spain, or some island somewhere. There would be time to figure it out.

  34

  EXITING THE INTERSTATE, Rafe Salvaggio turned the motorcycle onto a road with less traffic. After a few miles, she turned onto a dirt road and followed it for a few miles until she pulled up to a small estate. She stopped in front of one of the smaller buildings then turned off the bike. She pushed out the kickstand and let the bike gently lean as she turned the handlebars to park. As she unstrapped her helmet and took it off a woman came out of the building and let out a shout of joy when she recognized Rafe.

  “Rafaella! Sei tu! Cosa ti porta oggi? È così bella vederti,”[9] said the smiling woman as she looked past Rafe curiously at the woman behind her.

  “Sono venuto a dare un tour privato,”[10] Rafe shouted back and gave her a wink as Eden climbed off the motorcycle and took off her helmet.

  “Capisco! Beh, vi lascio ad esso quindi,” the woman laughed. “Fammi sapere se hai bisogno di me.”[11] The woman waved and went back inside the building.

  “Where are we?” asked Eden as Rafe got off the bike and hung the helmets on the handle bars.

  “The land of wine and honey,” said Rafe with a smile and a quick wink. It was warm, so she took off her gloves and jacket. She laid them across the bike, and Eden did the same with her jacket. “Come on,” she said and started toward the building where the woman had gone.

  Eden followed Rafe closely, and as soon as they entered the building, she was hit with a cool pleasant smelling air. She took in everything inside and realized it was a small store selling wine and honey products along with a few other things that went along with the theme. The smell in the air was beeswax from all the candles on the shelves and hanging from rods suspended from the ceiling. There were shelves with honey and all kinds of other products made with honey, from bath products to lip balms to candy. There were also shelves of wine and different things to go with it like cheeses and jams infused with wine and breads to go with them. She followed Rafe around the store as she took a few things from the shelves and loaded them into a basket.

  Rafe put the basket on the counter and flashed a smile at Eden. “Just a little breakfast. Let’s find Carisa.”

  Rafe led Eden through a large set of double doors then made her way through the back room. There were large vats of liquid wax and water in one section of the room and tables with tools for carving candles in another. Standing over one of the wax vats was the young woman who had greeted them. She was dipping wicks into the wax and the water alternately.

  “Carisa, I’m pilfering your stock,” said Rafe in English as she walked up to the woman.

  “Are we speaking English today?” the woman asked with a melodic laugh.

  “Yes,” said Rafe and motioned to Eden. “This is Eden from America. I’m going to show her around.”

  Carisa hung her candles and held out her hand to Eden. “Hello, it’s nice to meet you.”

  “Ciao,” said Eden shyly. “Bellissimo negozio.”[12]

  “Thank you,” said Carisa proudly. “Are we changing to Italian?”

  “No,” said Eden, blushing as Rafe looked at her with surprise. “I only know enough to hopefully make myself understood.” She couldn’t bring herself to explain that the reason she had been determined to learn some Italian was so she could find Rafe.

  “Well, you’re lucky to have Rafe around,” said Carisa. “You should give her private lessons,” she said to Rafe with a wink.

  As Rafe chuckled, Eden forced herself out of her shyness to speak again. “You’re very creative.” Eden looked at the candles to hide her nervousness and avoid eye contact.

  “Gabri took a big chance on me, and it’s worked out well for us both,” said Carisa.

  “Gabri?” Eden repeated.

  “Gabri rents her the space,” explained Rafe. “Carisa has beehives in the vineyard, and she sells the honey and makes the candles and other things in the store. She also consigns the wine and other local products.”

  “Oh, that’s really smart,” said Eden impressed.

  “Yes, Gabri learned to diversify from my father,” said Rafe with a grin. “Now, with tenants like Carisa, the estates practically run themselves.”

  Carisa laughed and put her hand on Rafe’s shoulder. “You’ve been a big help too, though. I’ve got a big candle order for a wedding, and I’ll be recruiting help as soon as the festival is over. Let me know if you want to help out again,” she said and ran her hand down Rafe’s arm as she headed around her. “Let me write down what you’re taking.”

  Eden had watched Carisa run her hand down Rafe and felt a jolt of jealousy shoot through her. She wondered how close they were but pushed the thought away as she followed Rafe back to the front of the store.

  Rafe watched as Carisa wrote down everything in the basket on the counter. “My daughter is here,” said Rafe with a smile.

  Carisa looked up in surprise. “Really?” she asked as Rafe nodded happily. “You should bring her, and I can show her the bees and how to make a candle.”

  Rafe turned to Eden. “Would you like to bring her?”

  “Oh, sure,” said Eden caught off guard by the question. “She’d love it.”

  “Oh, my god. You’re the baby’s mother?” asked Carisa and Eden nodded shyly. “Rafe, why didn’t you say something,” she chastised her. She went around the counter and gave Eden a hug, oblivious to Eden’s discomfort. “Welcome,” she said. “You should come anytime. We have fun things to do for kids and adults all the time,” she said as she released her. “We’re just slow out here this week because of the festival in the city. But you can visit our street stand. We give the children honey sticks while they last.”

  “Thank you,” said Eden. “We’ll look for you.” She was surprised by the hug and felt the discomfort she always felt when a stranger touched her. She looked to Rafe for reassurance, but there was none. Rafe only smiled at Carisa as though she were amusing in some secret way.

  Rafe picked up the basket. “I’ll put the basket back before we leave. Make sure you go see Gabri play,” she said as she headed for the door. “Come on, Eden.”

  Eden waved to Carisa and rushed to follow Rafe out the door. Outside, Eden caught up with Rafe. “So, have you spent a lot of time with her?”

  “Not a lot,” said Rafe with a shrug as she walked over to a small park area. “I just helped her and her husband out a few times for something to do.”

  “Oh.” Eden breathed out relief. “She seems nice.”

  “She is,” said Rafe as she sat down on one of the benches with the basket. “Have a seat.” She dug into the basket, pulled out some bread, and tore it apart then handed some to Eden. Then she broke off some cheese, opened a small jar of honey, and dipped the cheese in it and put it on the bread. “I know it seems weird, but it’s good,” she said at Eden’s doubtful look then took a big bite. “Try it,” she said with her mouth full. She dug out the large bottle of water and opened it as Eden tried the honey and cheese concoction. “Good, right?”

  “It’s different,” said Eden not sure if she would describe it as good or not. She was sure Bronte would probably like it, though. “Bronte will love it.” She took the bottle of water offered and washed down the food.

  Rafe laughed and brushed the crumbs off her shirt and hands. “Then she needs to have it.” She tore off more bread and put honey on it then put the basket on the ground. She handed some of the bread to Eden. After they ate the bread and honey, she took the water bottle from Eden and took another drink. She leaned back on the bench
and looked out over the vineyard. “It’s beautiful every season here,” she said softly.

  Eden licked the honey from her fingers as she drank in the vision of Rafe. To her, no other beauty really mattered. It felt like a miracle that she could see her beautiful face again with her long lashes, smooth skin, and full lips. She wore her dark hair pulled back and bound at the nape of her neck, but pieces at the front had come loose and curled around her face. Seeing her again was like a balm, even though she knew they had things to talk about and they weren’t going to be easy.

  “I come out here and run sometimes,” said Rafe, breaking their silence.

  Eden took her eyes off Rafe to look at the vineyard. “It seems peaceful.”

  Rafe hitched her shoulders and took a sip of water. “I guess a lot of people think so. There are a lot of regulars who come early to run the paths.”

  “Thank you for spending time with me,” said Eden softly.

  Rafe gave Eden a slight smile but looked away quickly. “I’m sorry about the last time you saw me.”

  “No,” said Eden. “I’m sorry. I never meant to upset you. I didn’t know you wouldn’t want the school bag here. I was just doing anything I could think of to make Gabri let me see you.”

  “You only had to ask,” said Rafe quietly and fidgeted with the water bottle.

  Eden wasn’t sure if Rafe knew or not that she asked many times and got nowhere.

  “Anyway,” said Rafe before Eden could speak. “Before I left, you were talking about finding happiness and wanting to talk to me about things.” She decided to just get it over with like she did with Julia. “I hope you’ve found some happiness because you really do deserve to be happy.”

  She hoped Eden understood she was okay with her being with Julia.

  That was a lie, though.

  She wasn’t okay with it. She was angry. But she knew it was probably for the best. It would be hard, but someday, maybe, she would be able to face Julia and Eden together again. She knew this might be the last day she ever spent with Eden alone. “I just hope you don’t regret the time you were with me.”

  Eden snapped her head up at Rafe’s words. She would never regret her time with Rafe, and she came here to get their happiness back. She didn’t need to go find what she felt she had with her. She realized Rafe must think she came here to end things.

  “Rafe,” she said softly. “Rafe, look at me.”

  Rafe forced herself to look at Eden.

  Seeing Rafe’s intense gray-blue eyes filled with uncertainty, Eden couldn’t stop herself as she leaned in and kissed her. She saw the surprise on Rafe’s face and kissed her again.

  Recovering from her surprise, Rafe dropped the water bottle then pulled Eden closer and kissed her deeply. She could feel the dopamine rushing through her brain and causing the familiar dizzy sensation that always happened when she kissed Eden. She missed the feel of her under her hands and the taste of her lips. She missed having Eden close and feeling her touch as she ran her hands through her hair and down her arms and over her back. The sensation of Eden’s soft lips against hers and the feel of her breath and her tongue in her mouth as she kissed her made her heart beat hard and everything except Eden seemed to fade away.

  As her senses slowly came back to her, Rafe wondered why this was happening. Was Eden doing this to check her feelings or to say goodbye? She pulled away and put her head against Eden’s.

  “What are you doing?” she asked heavily feeling Eden’s breath against her face.

  “I’m kissing you,” Eden said softly as she smiled.

  “No, I know. I mean, why are you doing this?”

  “I’m doing it because I love you,” she said and kissed her again. She had been dreaming about this for months and couldn’t believe it was finally happening. It was much better than any dream. She felt alive again.

  “What about Julia?” Rafe breathed as Eden kissed her.

  “Julia?” she repeated softly.

  “Yeah,” Rafe said between kisses. “What about her?” She pulled away. “Are you just checking your feelings to make sure you’re in love with her?

  Eden grimaced in confusion. “In love with her? No,” she said and could feel herself getting flustered and turning red. “Why would you think I was?”

  “You came here with her,” she answered, “and you looked happy together.” She shrugged not sure what to make of Eden’s flustered look.

  “I only love you, Rafe,” Eden said softly and kissed her, stopping her from talking. “I don’t want to love anyone else.” She kissed Rafe again. She held Rafe close and spoke softly into her ear. “She helped me come here to find you. That’s all. I haven’t heard from you for so long except for what you sent Bronte. I was worried you had forgotten about me, worried you found someone else. I had to come because I wanted to tell you in person that I’m still here, and I’ll always be here for you because I’m so in love with you.”

  Rafe pulled away and shook her head wondering now what Julia had been talking about yesterday. Based on what Julia said, it sounded like they were together. She looked away from Eden’s pleading eyes. It didn’t matter because she had already made up her mind about what she was going to do. She knew no matter what Nora said, she would always be the betrayer.

  “Oh, Eden,” she whispered and pulled away. “I’m not sure you should wait for me. I don’t know how long it’ll take me to get better. You deserve to live your life and be happy. You shouldn’t wait on me.”

  “But I,” Eden stammered, “I love you. Don’t you love me anymore?”

  “Of course. Of course, I love you,” said Rafe sadly and touched Eden’s face gently, knowing she would probably never love anyone again like she had loved her.

  Eden trembled a bit as her mind took in the fact Rafe had just told her she loved her. It had been so long since Rafe had said those words, and Eden had been so worried. Eden could literally feel every cell in her body celebrating and sending signals of warmth and tingling in waves through her. It felt like she was going to be lifted off the earth and float to heaven. Eden tried to look into her eyes again, but Rafe looked away.

  “I love you and Bronte very much,” said Rafe as she looked away. “But I don’t know if we can go back to how things were. I told you, I’m just now getting into a good place where I’m able to see things more clearly.” She smiled sadly. “I thought I’d have more time to figure out what to say to you. I haven’t even thought about you, no, I’ve thought about you. I’ve thought about you a lot. I haven’t thought about us and our relationship. I don’t know if it’s fair to you.”

  “Fair?” Eden asked as the feeling of euphoria came crashing down around her as she realized what Rafe was saying. She was unable to hide her hurt at the reality Rafe may still be pushing her away. “All I’ve been doing since you left is thinking about you, and us, our relationship.” She took Rafe’s face in her hands and kissed her again. “I’ll think about us. You think about getting better. I want to help you. I’ll do whatever you or Gabri tell me to do. I love you.”

  Rafe shook her head and looked down remembering the words of her father about the possibility of this exact situation. He was right. It wasn’t fair to saddle her problems on an innocent person. She should have ended her relationship with Eden long ago, just as she did all the others. She would be alone, but she wouldn’t be causing anyone pain. The argument over telling or breaking up was an old one. The last time Rafe and her father argued about telling Eden everything Rafe had accused her father of wanting her to be alone forever. Now she knew he was protecting her from this very situation.

  “What if Gabri tells you to leave?” asked Rafe. “What if I tell you to go find someone else? I can’t make you wait for something that might never happen.”

  “Why are you doing this?” she asked shakily. “Don’t push me away. Please, I just got here. You can’t tell me to go without even trying. Please, just give us more time together.”

  Rafe leaned over and put her head in he
r hands. “I just don’t want to hurt you again,” she said wishing that doing this didn’t hurt so much.

  “I don’t want to hurt you either,” said Eden and lifted Rafe up gently so she could see her face. Rafe turned her gray-blue eyes away as Eden pushed back the strand of dark hair that had fallen into Rafe’s face. “I love you, and you just said you love me. That should give us both a lot of happiness. I know it’s given a lot to me.” She leaned in and gave Rafe another small kiss. “We should take this chance to try and to spend time together. It could be good for both of us.” She pulled Rafe close and kissed her again. When Rafe didn’t resist, Eden took the kiss deeper and wrapped her arms around her, feeling the crazed need for her that was hard to restrain. She never wanted this to stop. She wanted it to go further. She felt Rafe pull her closer and move her kisses to her jaw and neck. She couldn’t help the moan leaving her and had to kiss Rafe’s honey-coated lips again.

  Rafe broke away breathing heavily. She had no idea what she was doing. She didn’t know if it was right or wrong. She just knew it felt good to have her, claim her, possess her again. She leaned her head against Eden’s and didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Julia was in love with Eden and was promising to take care of her. Nora was telling her Eden was reaching out desperately for her. Eden was saying she was still in love with her. Everything that had happened before she left home was still unresolved. Her father’s words kept haunting her. Threaded through everything was pain and confusion and lies mixed with truth. Then the weight of the secrets and the betrayals she was hiding from everyone felt so crushing that she wished she could just close her eyes and not wake up sometimes.