Cyprian the Fair

by C. L. Cattano

  “Rafe,” Eden called her softly out of her thoughts, “tell me what you’re thinking right now.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “What don’t you know, babe?”

  “I don’t know anything. I don’t know what to do or what to think. Too much is happening.” She looked up at Eden. “I’m out of control, Eden. You don’t want to be with me if I’m not in control.”

  “What aren’t you in control of?”

  Rafe avoided looking into her eyes, remembering when all she ever had to worry about was getting lost in them. She chuckled softly at the thought.

  “What?” asked Eden as she smiled.

  That smile. God, she missed it. “You smell just like I remember,” said Rafe softly changing the subject to something safe.

  “I know,” said Eden in her sultry voice and ran her hand over Rafe’s face. “I brought the perfume you like, and I’m wearing it just for you.”

  “Do you think it’s why Julia’s in love with you?”

  “What?” Eden laughed and slapped her arm playfully. “Why do you keep saying those things? Besides,” she said huffily, “this is the first time I’ve worn it since—” She stopped and looked down at her hands angry at herself for bringing up anything negative today. “I only wear it for you.”

  “Oh,” said Rafe with an arched brow. “What do you wear for her? Maybe I’d like it, too.”

  Eden frowned. “I don’t wear anything for her.”

  Rafe laughed softly. “See, I’d like you wearing nothing.”

  “That’s not what I meant!” Eden pushed her back gently.

  “Well, what do you mean then,” Rafe challenged intently.

  Eden grabbed Rafe’s shirt and pulled her close. “I mean, what I wear, or don’t wear, is for you and no one else,” she said and kissed her soundly. “Got it?”

  “If you say so.” Rafe chuckled as she broke away and stood up. “Let’s go.” She picked up the water bottle and the basket, and they headed back up to the little store.

  35

  SMILING AND FEELING like she had won a huge victory, Eden Kingsley followed Rafe back to the honey and wine shop. She had already accomplished part of her mission. Rafe had told her she loved her, and she got to say the same words to Rafe. No matter what else happened, she would consider this a good day just because they both said that one fantastic thing.

  She knew Rafe was having a hard time and wasn’t saying what was really on her mind, but at least she was still spending time with her, and they were getting along so far. She didn’t want to upset her by talking about going home yet. It was clear Rafe wasn’t ready to talk about the subject. She hoped the more time they spent together that Rafe would see they loved each other and the easier it would be for Rafe to open up. Maybe then she could convince Rafe to come home with her and Bronte and get the help she needed there.

  Inside the sweet-smelling shop, Rafe picked up some bottles of wine and sat them on the counter. “Carisa! I’m back,” she called out. She looked over at Eden. “Do you see anything you want?”

  “Oh, I don’t know,” said Eden looking around trying to take everything in again. “I really haven’t looked.”

  “Well, look around,” said Rafe. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to see if I can find Carisa.” She went through the double doors leaving Eden on her own. When Rafe made it to the workroom, she found Carisa setting a newly carved candle on a shelf. “There you are,” said Rafe.

  “Hey,” said Carisa as she turned with a smile to greet Rafe. “Sorry, I just can’t stop in the middle of one of those.” She thumbed over her shoulder at the candle. “I knew you’d understand.” Rafe looked a little pale. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” she said abruptly. “Eden is picking some things out. Can you show her the teaching beehive? I need to use the restroom,” she said and quickly headed off.

  “Sure,” said Carisa confused by Rafe’s abruptness. She shrugged it off and went to do as Rafe had asked.

  Rafe made it into what she was sure was the world’s smallest bathroom and leaned against the miniature sink. She looked up into the tiny mirror and could see the uncertainty in her own eyes. The weakness she saw made her sick. She had already made the decision about what she was going to do about Eden, and now she wasn’t sure if it was the right thing or not.

  In the back of her mind, the conversation she had with Nora kept nagging at her. Maybe Eden really was doing what Nora said and reaching out. If it was the reason she was here, then Nora was right, and she was wrong about Eden and Julia being together.

  Julia’s confession of love for Eden pushed itself forward. Rafe just couldn’t understand why Julia told her they were together and that she loved Eden. Why would Julia say it if it weren’t true? She didn’t understand why either one of them would lie. Eden has lied before, she thought, but so has Julia. Lies, lies, lies and more lies. They seemed to never end. Rafe squeezed her eyes shut to block the voice in her head. It was even more confusing if they were both telling the truth. Maybe they were together, but Eden didn’t really love Julia. Maybe it was the reason Julia didn’t know if Eden loved her or not. Maybe Eden felt tricked again, or maybe trapped or just confused. Eden had promised if she was having a hard time with her feelings that she would talk to someone. Maybe it was why she was here. To figure out if her feelings were still there, or if they had changed and were now there for Julia. From what Eden had just said it seemed like she had made up her mind and didn’t have feelings for Julia. Rafe looked in the tiny mirror again.

  This is good, right?

  “I don’t know,” Rafe whispered.

  Her mind flashed to the other thing Nora had talked to her about. Secrets. Nora had asked if Eden had kept her secrets. Rafe hoped she had, but didn’t know for sure. Then Nora had pointed out keeping secrets could be causing a lot of her own problems. Rafe talked to her doctor about the possibility, and the doctor agreed with Nora. Secrets could cause problems. Memories from when she was at her home in California and having bad dreams joined the confusion in her mind. After she told Eden about one of her secrets, it seemed to help her fight the darkness. Maybe it was a sign. Maybe she should tell Eden another secret.

  Rafe turned on the sink and cupped some water in her hands then splashed it over her face. She grabbed a paper towel and dried her face then looked into the tiny mirror again. “Maybe,” she said softly.

  Walking through the double doors back into the store, Rafe saw Eden and Carisa standing at the counter going through an assortment of goods. Carisa was making a list, and Eden was listening to her talk about the items. They both looked up as she entered.

  “There you are,” said Carisa happily. “Is there anything else you want me to add?”

  “Hey,” said Eden as she slipped her arm around Rafe, “we found a lot of things Bronte will like and some beautiful candles.”

  “Good,” said Rafe softly then spoke to Carisa. “I think that’s all.”

  “Okay, I’ll have Frankie deliver all this to Eden’s hotel after lunch. I don’t think some of this will hold up well in a saddle bag,” she said with humor in her voice.

  “Is it a lot of trouble?” asked Eden shyly. “I don’t want to be any trouble.”

  “Oh, no!” Carisa assured her. “He’ll be here to pick up re-stock for the booth if he needs it and his lunch anyway.”

  “Okay,” said Eden, smiling at Carisa’s friendliness. “How much do I owe?” She reached into her pocket for Euros.

  Carisa furrowed her brow at Rafe. “Rafe?”

  Rafe smiled and put her hand on Eden’s arm. “Don’t worry about it,” she said. “Carisa has it all written down, and it’ll be taken care of later.”

  “Oh,” stammered Eden, “Okay.”

  “I almost forgot,” said Rafe as she reached into her pocket for the bracelet given to her by a little boy the last time she was in town. “Rowena’s little brother gave this to me the other day. She wants to sell them in your store.”


  Carisa took the bracelet. “She does a good job. Very creative. I’ll talk to her.”

  “Great! Ciao, Carisa.” Rafe waved and headed for the door.

  “Bye,” said Eden and followed Rafe.

  Outside, Rafe stood beside the motorcycle and took the helmets from the handlebars. “Are you ready for another ride?”

  Eden took a deep breath and smiled bravely. “Sure.”

  Rafe gave her a small smile because she could see she was nervous about getting back on the bike. “I’ll be careful.”

  “I know.”

  As Rafe watched Eden put her jacket on, she reflected on the conversation with Nora about secrets. She looked over at the saddlebag on the motorcycle and contemplated the secret she was planning to take care of today. She took the helmet she was holding and handed it to Eden then stepped closer to her. Her stomach turned as she looked into her eyes. “Do you trust me?”

  “Yes,” she said softly.

  Nodding, Rafe posed an even harder question to ask. “Am I really who you love?”

  Eden looked up into her searching gray-blue eyes and could see how important the question was to her. “Yes, Rafe. You’re the only one I love.”

  “Have you kept my secrets?”

  Surprised by the question Eden nodded. “Yes, yes, I’ve kept them.”

  “I,” she hesitated, “I have another one.” They both stood silent for a while. “Do you want to know it?”

  Eden put her hand on Rafe’s arm and wasn’t sure how to answer. She now knew how hard it was to hold on to secrets and how they tied your hands if they came with severe conditions. She also knew Rafe would not offer without reason.

  “Do you want me to know?”

  “I don’t know,” said Rafe and could feel water in her eyes, but she blinked it away. “I could just take you back to the hotel.”

  “Okay,” said Eden seeing this could be Rafe reaching out to her. She didn’t want to lose a chance to help her, and she definitely wanted to spend more time together. She rubbed her arm and pulled her into a hug. “Okay, I want to know.”

  “Good,” said Rafe, “that’s good.” She took Eden’s chin in her hands and lifted it to bring her lips into her kiss. “Mi ami, Ede?”[13] asked Rafe her low voice revealing her wariness. Rafe was not sure if she could ask anything of Eden anymore, especially to keep another secret. After all, she was still betraying Eden.

  “I do,” Eden breathed into the kiss. “I do love you, Rafe.”

  36

  MANEUVERING THE MOTORCYCLE through the Italian traffic with ease, Rafe Salvaggio made her way back toward Florence as Eden held on tight. Traffic was lighter, but it only meant the speeds were faster on the Italian interstate. Pulling off the interstate, Rafe smiled to herself as she felt Eden relax slightly. It had felt at times like Eden would squeeze the air out of her.

  The place they were going was not too far outside the city, and soon, they were going down very narrow roads that were walled on each side. Rafe slowed, pulled over into a narrow parking lane, then stopped and turned off the bike. After parking the motorcycle, she pulled off her gloves then unstrapped her helmet and took it off.

  “This is our next stop,” she told Eden and waited for her to get off the back of the bike.

  “Where are we?” asked Eden as she held her helmet she had already taken off. She looked around and only saw high walls on both sides of them.

  Rafe took Eden’s helmet and locked it in the saddle bag with hers. She opened the saddlebag on the other side of the bike and took out a canvas bag. Taking Eden’s jacket, she put it inside the saddle bag along with her own.

  “This way,” she said without answering Eden’s question and walked through an opening in the wall.

  Eden found a sign at the entry and was surprised to see they were at a cemetery. “Why are we here?” she asked nervously, but Rafe kept walking, so she followed.

  It didn’t take Rafe long to find the place she wanted to go. She had been in the cemetery about five months ago, so it was easy to find. She looked up at the marble structure then over at Eden who wasn’t far behind her.

  “This is the Salvaggio family mausoleum,” said Rafe as she opened the wrought iron gate and stepped inside the cool stone room. “I think my father will be the last Salvaggio to be placed in here,” she said as she ran her hand over the plaques with her ancestors’ names on the walls. She touched each one wondering what it would have been like to know them, to know any of them. The only ones she knew where her mother and father. She only knew her mother as a child and her father she only knew when he allowed it. “I think my father paid for another ninety-nine-year lease on it when my mother died. So, unless something changes, they have about seventy-six years or so to be buried next to each other before the lease is up and all the bones and ashes in here go to the ossuary, and some other family takes it over.”

  While Eden looked around uneasily, Rafe sat on the small bench and leaned back against the cold stone. “I don’t think I want to be buried here,” Rafe said softly. “I’m the only one left, so I don’t really see the point. I think it’s cremation for me, and I think I’ll direct my ashes be turned into the biggest diamond possible. Then I want it pressed into the cement of some great building, maybe between two random bricks. I haven’t figured out which building yet. Maybe one that my father and I worked on.”

  Eden didn’t like Rafe talking and thinking about her death. She also didn’t like being in a cemetery inside a mausoleum. She sat down next to Rafe. “Why are we here?” she asked nervously watching Rafe.

  Rafe put her fingertips against her temples to rub away the pain starting to form. Memories of her conversation with Nora filtered into her mind again. Nora and the doctor agreed about secrets. It was probably why those conversations kept coming back into her mind so much. It seemed strange for anyone other than Gabri and her father to even know she had secrets. But now Nora knew, the therapist knew, and Eden knew. She really didn’t know if anyone else knew. Maybe everyone back in California knew. It was terrifying to think they might guess or try to find out what the secrets were because then her life would be ruined. Her father had warned her over and over again no one could know but family.

  She looked over at the canvas bag beside her and the secret it contained. No one else alive knew the secret it held. She looked over at Eden. She was supposed to be family, but Rafe didn’t let her father tell Eden anything. Eden left, so maybe she never really was family. Eden came back though, so it was all very confusing. But Rafe had an overpowering feeling that she needed to tell someone.

  “Did you tell Cathcart the secrets I told you?”

  “No,” Eden said firmly, wondering why she was asking again. “I told you, I haven’t told anyone, I swear.”

  “I’ve been told keeping secrets hasn’t been good for me,” she said softly. “I talked to my therapist, and she agreed.”

  “Oh,” Eden said softly. She understood Rafe had just trusted her with something from her therapy. This had never happened before, and Eden felt good they were taking this step forward. “I can see how it might be true,” she said trying to be positive for her.

  “My problem is... I’m sure if I tell my secret, I’ll lose someone.” Rafe sighed and rubbed her head. “I can’t take losing anyone else right now.”

  “You won’t lose me,” Eden assured her, “no matter what the secrets are about. You can tell me anything.” She wondered if there was more to what happened to Rafe than what Gabri had told her.

  Rafe looked away from Eden and bit the inside of her cheek, fighting the urge to remind Eden they had already lost each other. “I do need someone I can tell this secret,” Rafe said softly, “but I don’t want to tell a therapist or someone I don’t know. I want to tell someone who cares about me. Someone I can trust.” Rafe wondered if Eden was doing the right thing by trusting her again. “Can I trust you, no matter what happens between us? I’m worried if things don’t go well between us, you might use my secrets and hurt
me again.”

  Those words and the look of fear on Rafe’s face cut through Eden painfully. She knew she had done things and hurt Rafe, and she knew Jake had used the things she said in confidence to hurt Rafe too. She had spent months talking and speculating about just how much she had hurt Rafe and how to talk to her about it if she ever had the chance. All that time, she had also kept her word and hadn’t told anyone the secrets Rafe had told her.

  “I think I’ve proven I wouldn’t do anything like that to you,” she said and put her hand on Rafe again. “I won’t ever tell anyone the things you’ve told me unless you say it’s okay. I’ll never use your secrets to hurt you, no matter what happens between us. I promise.” She looked up into Rafe’s gray-blue eyes and saw her looking back at her, searching. “Do you need me to swear like I did before?”

  “No,” said Rafe and looked away, “you don’t need to swear on your life. If you break your promise, it’s my life that’ll be affected, and it’s me who’ll be hurt. So, if you care about me at all, you’ll keep the secret. If not,” she shrugged, “nothing will matter anymore, will it?” She looked back into Eden’s shining golden brown eyes but couldn’t hold the gaze for long. “It’ll be my fault for trusting you. But I think I need to trust you,” she said hesitantly.

  “Rafe, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t think you can trust me,” said Eden, worried about Rafe’s haunted look. “You can tell Gabri or his wife.”

  Rafe shook her head “No, no, I can’t tell them.”