At Seventeen

by Gerri Hill

  Madison’s smile was genuine. “Thank you.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Madison fidgeted with the phone, rolling it around in her hands nervously. While she and Ashton spoke daily, it was usually later in the evening before either she or he made the call. But Stephen had returned from his business trip and was only scheduled to be home for two days before he headed to Austin to meet with his campaign manager and staff. She rolled her eyes at that thought, still not sure why—or when—he’d become obsessed with politics.

  Regardless, she wanted to talk to him tonight. It had been three days since she and Shannon had spoken, and she finally had her thoughts organized enough to attempt a conversation with him. He would be floored, no doubt. His disbelief would morph into anger quickly, she knew. Not anger that their marriage was coming to an end; their marriage had been over for years. No, anger that it would make him appear weak, or worse, damaged. Her happiness wouldn’t matter to him; his only concern would be how it affected him and his career.

  She looked at her phone and without further thought pushed Ashton’s number. She needed to tell him first…tell him that she was leaving his father. He answered quickly, sounding out of breath.

  “Hi, Mom,” he greeted.

  “Hi, honey. Did I catch you at a bad time?”

  “No. I’m on my way to the library.”

  “Oh? You mean you actually have to study now?” she teased.

  “Hardly. I’m tutoring.”

  She shook her head and smiled. “How can you be tutoring? You just started.”

  “You know how it is,” he said vaguely.

  “Not challenging?” she guessed. She heard him take a deep breath before he spoke.

  “I need to talk to you about something,” he said, surprising her.

  “Of course. What’s up?”

  There was only a slight hesitation. “I hate it here,” he said quietly. “You were right. I let them push me into this. I have no desire to be the next great surgeon,” he said.

  “And you know this already? You haven’t been there very long,” she said.

  “Yes, I know it already.”

  She paused, choosing her words carefully. “Honey, is it your age?” she asked. “I mean, do you feel…uncomfortable?”

  He laughed. “I’m used to being the youngest one in my classes by now, Mom. Besides, there’s a girl here, she’s sixteen, so I’m not the only freak.”

  “Ashton!”

  “Sorry.”

  She tried to wipe the smile from her face. “So what do you want to do?”

  “Well, I’ve always been interested in astrophysics. More specifically, astronautical engineering,” he said.

  “In English that means what?”

  He laughed. “I want to build a spaceship.”

  “I see.”

  “I mean, with my math skills, I really should look into something like quantum mechanics or relativity. I think I’d like to start with astrophysics. But ultimately, I’d like to be more space-focused,” he said, his enthusiasm obvious in his voice, something she never heard when he was deciding on which medical school to attend.

  “Honey, why didn’t you tell us this? Why did you—?”

  “Because that’s what everyone wanted.”

  “Ashton, I told you, you have to do what makes you happy.”

  “I know. But I didn’t want to disappoint Dad. And them,” he added, referring to his grandparents.

  She sighed. “Okay. So what do you want to do? You want to come home?”

  “I’ll stay until the term is over, then come home for a couple of weeks.”

  “A couple of weeks?”

  “I’ve been accepted into MIT,” he said. “Massachusetts Institute of—”

  “I know what MIT stands for,” she said with a laugh.

  “So is that okay?” he asked hesitantly.

  “Of course it’s okay. It’s your decision.”

  “Good. Because I’ve already been in touch with some of the professors there. Summer classes start in mid-June, and there’s one I’d really like to take.”

  “I see this isn’t something you’re just now deciding, huh? Whatever makes you happy.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” he said. “Well, I guess I should get going. Tutoring, you know.”

  “Yes.” She paused, biting her lip, wondering if she should keep her own news to herself. “Actually, there is something I wanted to tell you. Do you have a few more minutes?”

  “Yeah, Mom. What is it?”

  She took a deep breath, not knowing whether to just blurt it out or…“I’m leaving your father,” she said. Her words were greeted with silence. Maybe blurting it out wasn’t the best choice. “I haven’t told him yet.”

  “Wow,” he said quietly. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “I’m sorry, honey. I tried—”

  “No, Mom. Don’t. Like I told you before, I know you’ve not been happy.”

  “I haven’t been happy,” she agreed. “And with you gone, it’s now very glaring,” she said honestly. “So I need to make a change.”

  “Okay. I understand. Do you need me to come home?”

  “No, honey. I’ll be okay. I just…I wanted you to know. Your father will probably call you. I wanted you to hear it from me.” She closed her eyes, picturing his young, handsome face. “I’m leaving here. I want to get my own house. Something much smaller. When you come back home, you can of course stay here with your father…or with me,” she said. “It’s your choice.”

  “Okay. We’ll see what happens,” he said. “Dad’s gone so much anyway.”

  She nodded, feeling relieved at having told him. “Yes, he is. Well, you better get going. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Okay, Mom. I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  She tossed the phone down beside her and leaned back against the cushions of the sofa, listening to the silence that now filled the room. Agnes had already left, leaving dinner in the oven. Agnes adored Stephen and no doubt had made his favorite—a roast so tender you could cut it with a fork.

  She sighed when she heard the alarm beep, signaling the garage door opening. She got up, heading toward the kitchen. As she passed the formal dining room, she slowly shook her head. Agnes had it all set, including two candles that Madison assumed she was to light. The table would serve sixteen but only two lonely place settings adorned it this evening. She glanced fondly at the chair Ashton used, missing him even more.

  She went through the kitchen, in search of Stephen. She found him in his study, a glass of scotch already in his hand.

  He loosened the tie around his neck, raising his eyebrows at her. “Yes?”

  She cleared her throat, trying to hold on to the confidence she’d felt earlier. “We need to talk,” she said.

  “Talk?” He smiled ruefully. “Us? Well, there’s something new.” He took a swallow from his glass, watching her. “What’s on your mind?”

  Suddenly, the rehearsed speech she’d been practicing for the last three days vanished from her mind, leaving her with only one thought.

  “I’m leaving you.”

  He lowered the glass he was about to drink from, meeting her eyes. “You’re what?”

  “I can’t do this anymore, Stephen. I want a divorce.”

  He stared at her in disbelief and all the emotions she’d expected flashed across his face in rapid succession.

  “Divorce?”

  “Yes.”

  He put his glass down, his eyes never leaving her. “Just like that? You come in here with no warning and drop that bomb?” He shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

  “It’s not just like that, Stephen. Neither of us are happy in this so-called marriage. With Ashton gone, it seems pointless to continue.”

  “Pointless?” He pounded his desk with a fist. “Do you think I’m going to run for the US Senate as a newly divorced man?” He shook his head. “Think again.”

  Madison’s anger surf
aced. She wasn’t quite sure why she was shocked by his statement. Maybe because she didn’t expect him to be so utterly blunt about it.

  “Your political aspirations are of no concern to me,” she said.

  “No? Well, they are very much a concern to your parents.” He smirked as he gave a condescending laugh. “You know very well they’re not going to let you divorce me. Besides, there’s not an attorney in this town who will go against me.”

  “My God, Stephen, when did you get so full of yourself?”

  “I know my place, Madison. Just as you know yours. There’s no escaping that.” He stood. “Now, I would like to have dinner. There’ll be no more discussion of this nonsense.”

  She stared at him in disbelief, realizing that this is how it had always been. He spoke to her much like her mother spoke to her, telling her how it was to be. And with her normal grace, she had complied with all her wishes without question, conceding again and again to her domination and control.

  Well, no more. She had finally reached her breaking point.

  “Enjoy your dinner,” she said. “I’ll be packing.” She spun on her heels, ignoring his command for her to stop. She was surprised by a strong hand grabbing her arm.

  “I said to stop,” he bit out.

  She jerked her arm away from him. “And I said I was leaving you.”

  “You’re being ridiculous,” he said.

  “Call it what you want, it doesn’t change anything.” She pointed to her chest. “I’m miserable. Do you understand that?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know anything, Madison. We don’t talk. We don’t touch.” He ran his fingers through his hair, still shaking his head. “Hell, the last time I tried to make love to you, you cried.” He held his hands out. “What am I supposed to do?”

  “Doesn’t that tell you something, Stephen? We don’t talk, we don’t touch, we don’t have sex.” She met his gaze. “We have no marriage. And every year that ticks by is another year wasted. For both of us.”

  “What are you saying? You don’t love me?”

  She stared at him, shocked by his obtuse question. “Love you? I’m not sure I even like you,” she said honestly. “And I know you feel the same. You don’t love me. You’ve never loved me.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “It is true. Our parents did this to us. They pushed us together ever since we were kids. We dated because they told us to. We married because they told us to. We never had a real relationship.” She silently implored him to see the truth. “Don’t you want that with someone?”

  He shook his head. “It’s too late. We have this life now. We have a son.” He paused, staring at her. “And my political career is about to kick off. I don’t need this now, Madison.”

  “I’m sorry, but this is about me and what I need. Not everything is about you.”

  “Then think of Ashton. This will crush him.”

  “I’ve already told him. I think you should call him too,” she said.

  He took a deep breath, blowing it out with puffed cheeks. “You’re really serious about this?”

  “Yes.”

  “Let’s don’t rush anything, Madison. If you want to separate, I can leave. I’m gone so much anyway, I can—”

  “No,” she said quickly. “I’m leaving. This is your home. It’s my decision to leave.”

  “But—”

  “All this,” she said, waving at the house, “has never felt like home.”

  “You can’t leave here, Madison. It’ll be all over town if you do. I can’t have people—”

  “And I can’t live here. Right now, my sanity and well-being is more important than your political career.”

  He had no reply; he simply stared at her with shocked eyes. She turned on her heels, leaving him behind as she slowly climbed the stairs to their bedroom. She closed the door quietly and leaned against it. She would only have a short reprieve, she knew. He was most likely already on the phone to her parents.

  She walked into her large closet, eyeing all the pretty suits and dresses, all elegant and expensive. Her eyes slid to the rows and rows of shoes, and she slowly shook her head. There was nothing in here she wanted.

  She just wanted out.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Shannon donned the hardhat Jarod held out to her and followed him inside their soon-to-be natural foods store. Gutted as it was, it looked absolutely huge.

  “My God, Jarod. What the hell are we going to put in here?”

  He laughed and put an arm around her shoulder. “That, sis, is your job. But I like your idea of the food court.”

  She walked deeper inside and turned on her notebook. She pulled up the different schematics she’d been working on, trying to visualize where everything would go.

  “I like all these windows,” she said. “It’ll give it a more airy feel.”

  “Are you sure? Because they said they could put up a façade if we want.”

  “This will be better. Besides, maybe we can put some live plants in here, make it a little more natural looking.” She glanced at him. “The contractors?”

  “All lined up,” he said. “They’re just waiting on the plans and the diagrams, so we can get our quotes and a time estimate.”

  “You have three?”

  “Actually, four are bidding this time.”

  She walked toward the back wall, envisioning the coolers and frozen food section that would go there. She turned. “I planned everything with the aisles going perpendicular to the front,” she said. She turned a circle. “But parallel maybe? I mean, it’s certainly large enough. We could even have the center part of the store like usual but make both—or one or the other—of the ends parallel.” She looked at him with raised eyebrows. “Just to break it up some.”

  “Look, you’ve always designed them. There’s never been a problem. So go with what you like.” He looked around, his voice echoing in the large empty space. “But the longer we wait, the longer—”

  “I know, I know,” she said. She studied the schematics again, wishing for another set of eyes. She chewed on her lower lip. She could always run it by Madison, see what she thought. Maybe she’d give her a call, see if she wanted to have lunch with them. “Okay, let’s go. Let me do a little more tinkering. Give me another day, maybe two.”

  “Deal. I’ll let the contractors know.”

  As they got back in Jarod’s truck, Shannon said, “Mom says she overheard you talking to a Realtor. Are you going to buy a house and not rent?”

  Jarod laughed. “She overheard, huh? I didn’t want to say anything yet. But Joan thinks we should just go ahead and buy now.”

  “I thought you were going to see how the summer went, see how the kids liked it,” she said.

  “We were. But they’re still young enough to make a change. Crissy won’t be in high school for two more years yet. And Kenny, well, he couldn’t care less.”

  “I think that’s great. I know it’ll make Mom very happy knowing you’ll be here.”

  He glanced at her. “What about you? Ready to buy something?”

  She shook her head. “Despite how cramped I am in Mom’s little house, I don’t think I want to buy anything.”

  “We could always sell Mom’s house,” he said. “Get something bigger for the two of you.”

  “You trying to keep me in Brook Hill?” she asked with a smile.

  He shrugged. “It would be nice, yeah. We’ve never lived in the same place. The kids love it when you’re around. You and Joan get along. It’d be nice to have the family all together,” he said.

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. I missed out on a lot when you were a kid. I wasn’t around. You and Mom were kinda on your own. I know it was hard after Dad died.”

  Shannon nodded. “It was. Harder for Mom, I guess, than me.”

  “I know we can’t get those years back, but it would be nice for the three of us to have some time together. As a family.” He paused, his glance going from her back
to the road again. “I mean, I know you’ve got your house and friends in Austin, but—”

  “I’ll think about it,” she said, surprised by her answer. A few months ago, she would have never even entertained the idea.

  “Really?” He smiled broadly. “Great.”

  They’d worked closely together the last several years while they’d gotten their business going, but their relationship was more friendly and businesslike than brother and sister, especially at the beginning. She assumed it was a combination of their age difference and the fact that he’d left home when he was eighteen, leaving her growing up essentially an only child. She stared out the window, not really acknowledging the scenery as they whizzed past. Would she really consider moving back to Brook Hill?

  “Listen, do you mind if I invite Madison to join us for lunch? I want an outsider to look at my designs.”

  “Oh, sure, that’s fine. Mom will love it.”

  “Thanks.” She pulled out her phone, finding Madison’s number. She’d added it the other night, telling herself if they were going to attempt a friendship, she should at least include her in her list of contacts.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “Mother, this is not a good time,” she said, wondering why she’d answered the phone in the first place.

  “Not a good time? Madison, your father and I wish to speak with you. Now, we’ll expect you within the hour. I’ll have Stella hold lunch until you’re here.”

  Her mother disconnected before she could reply. Was that how it had always been? Was there ever a time in her life that she’d ever gone against her mother’s wishes? Well, as she’d told Stephen last night, no more. She called her mother back immediately.

  “As I said, this is not a good time. I already have a lunch date.” She disconnected much as her mother had done, realizing how childish it was. But of course her mother was treating her as a child, why not act like one?