Weight of the Crown

by Christina Hollis

  ‘So am I,’ he said, then looked away quickly and cleared his throat. ‘This place is so beautiful, I’m determined to make it happy, too.’

  ‘It feels wonderful to me already,’ Alyssa said dreamily. A light breeze whispered in from the desert, but the castle’s ancient stones had been storing up the sun’s fierce heat all day. Dusk drew enough warmth from the walls to keep them comfortable, but Lysander was obviously enjoying his role as host.

  ‘Let me know when you’ve had enough. For myself, I could stay here all night.’

  ‘So could I,’ Alyssa sighed. As they watched the glowing moon rise slowly over the stark line of the distant horizon she shivered with the romance of it all—the nightingales, the flowers and Lysander, all bathed in moonlight.

  It was the only encouragement he needed to slide an arm smoothly around her shoulders.

  ‘Let me keep you warm,’ he murmured, his voice low with desire.

  Without a word Alyssa stepped sideways, just far enough to slip from his grasp.

  Lysander paused. Alyssa’s refusal to be taken for granted was one of the first things that had appealed to him. Now it was starting to get tired. Women never refused him. It simply didn’t happen, but, more than that, he knew Alyssa was longing for his touch. He toyed with the idea of simply walking away without risking his dignity any further, but decided that wasn’t an option. If he did that, he knew his memories of Alyssa would haunt him for as long as his life lasted. While there was the smallest chance of softening her bewitching eyes with satisfaction, he knew he would never be free from her.

  It was the simplest thing in the world to reach out to her again. This time she flipped his hands away with more determination, even as she quivered with longing.

  ‘Please don’t!’

  He was getting frustrated with her now; he could sense that she wanted him as much as he wanted her, so what was holding her back?

  ‘Why do you do that, Alyssa?’

  ‘It’s nothing personal.’

  ‘Exactly!’

  She had been gazing away across the plain, refusing to look at him. When he said that she whipped around. His expression stopped her doing anything as silly as laughing. He was tight-lipped with arrogance; humour was the last thing on his mind tonight.

  ‘You are unbelievable, Lysander Kahani!’ Her eyes flashed.

  ‘You make it sound like a character reference.’

  ‘Then congratulations. I’m sure you’re delighted.’

  ‘Of course I’m not! This is ridiculous,’ Lysander countered. ‘You are ridiculous. How can my touch possibly make you so unhappy? Good God, woman—why the hell did our paths have to cross? Why couldn’t you have settled down with a nice, respectable middle-class man in an English suburb and raised a flock of nice, respectable middle-class children before I ever set eyes on you?’

  Alyssa shuddered. ‘No, thanks. I’ve been there, and done most of it.’

  ‘And what is that supposed to mean?’

  She dug her elbows into the weather-worn stones of the wall and dropped her chin onto her hands again. ‘I’m not telling you. Why should I tear myself up about it all over again, when you’ve just told me you wish we’d never met?’

  ‘I never said that!’

  ‘Why should I torment myself by raking over my past when you’ll only tell me not to be so stupid and that I should pull myself together and get on with my life?’

  Her words instantly made him suspicious. ‘That’s not the Alyssa I know speaking! Why put someone else’s words into my mouth? I …’ he said, straining his frustration through clenched teeth, ‘I … would never say that to you.’

  ‘Huh.’

  She went on staring fixedly into the distance.

  Lysander could only see her in profile, but he knew the defiant glitter in her eyes had nothing to do with the reflection of the moonlight. He fought the impulse to pull her together himself, and none too gently. Instead, by taking several deep, considered breaths he managed to summon up a scrap of tact.

  ‘You’re cold, Alyssa,’ he growled. ‘Come into the observatory. A full moon isn’t ideal for stargazing, and supper will be waiting for us.’

  Pivoting on his heel, he stalked off to the circular building in the heart of the garden. Sliding back a panel in its wall, he revealed a huge telescope trained on the night sky. Then he turned to call her closer and was shocked to find she had already done as he said. She stood a few feet away, watching him guardedly.

  ‘Come in, and tell me all about it.’

  He was making an effort, and wondered how far he could carry it. From her expression, Alyssa was curious about that, too. Without a word, she followed him into the observatory. It was as richly furnished as the Rose Palace, and tonight its central table had been hurriedly set with a delicious buffet and armfuls of fresh flowers. Lysander opened a bottle of champagne, poured a glass and held it out to her.

  ‘So you’ve been married, Alyssa?’

  She shook her head. ‘No. I—I was engaged to a guy called Jerry, but that ended months ago. He was married to his job, but then so was I. It worked when things were going well, but then …’

  She faltered. At that moment the nightingale’s song swelled up with such power, it seemed to inspire her. She accepted the glass from him, and took a quick sip. Then her chin went up and she looked him straight in the eyes.

  ‘I’ve got nothing to be guilty or ashamed about. I did nothing wrong—he was the one who had an affair.’

  ‘Some men do that,’ Lysander said, though he’d always been careful to make sure one dalliance was over before the next one began.

  She looked out towards the rose thicket where the nightingale carolled on. ‘I know that now, so next time I shall be ready—’ She began strongly enough, but couldn’t carry on. Suddenly words failed her in a cry of pain.

  This wasn’t part of Lysander’s game plan at all. Alyssa was supposed to throw herself into his arms, not dissolve. There was only one thing to be done, so he did it. He grabbed hold of her, pressed her head against his chest and let her cry.

  ‘But there will be a next time,’ he reassured her softly. ‘You know that, don’t you?’

  She nodded, and that was his cue to hold her tighter still.

  Alyssa was lost. She cried and cried until she was too exhausted to do anything but let her last few tears trickle away. Only her ragged gasps went on, bouncing her face against the warm solidity of Lysander’s chest. All he did was hold her close and stroke her hair, but that was exactly what she needed. She knew she was making a damp, salty patch on his shirt yet she went on clinging to him, trying to put off the moment when she would have to apologise for falling apart on him.

  Lysander was in no hurry to let her go. He lowered his head until it rested against hers. Sliding his hands around her body, he drew her closer. Her breathing slowed as she tried to decide what was happening, and what she wanted to do about it. Lysander was holding her in a way that Jerry had never done—like a true friend. It was a lovely, safe feeling and so far outside her experience she felt happy and scared at the same time.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she sniffled at last.

  ‘Don’t be. You’re so brave and kind and resourceful it comes as a relief to find you’re human after all. I was beginning to think you had supernatural powers.’ He chuckled, still holding her gently against him.

  With the side of her face pressed against his chest, she felt his words as much as heard them. ‘That’s a wonderful thing to say. Thank you, Lysander.’

  ‘It’s my pleasure.’

  Alyssa could believe it, from the way his arms were wrapped around her. She could have stayed like that for ever, but knew if she gave herself up to him now she could say goodbye to her independence. That frightened her. If she lost control and surrendered to her desires now, the inevitable would happen. Lysander would be the one calling the shots. His reputation as a womaniser made her determined not to melt, however strong her urge to become liquid beneath the f
irm pressure of his hands. Her confidence had been so badly battered, she didn’t want to open all her old wounds again. She wanted Lysander, but not simply as a sleeping partner. Her feelings for him ran so much deeper and stronger than the indistinct fantasies of white lace and babies she had known with Jerry. Her need for Lysander was a hot, passionate desire, seething through her veins like liquid gold. She wanted him body and soul, or not at all. If she couldn’t have the whole man, she had to resist the only part of him on offer tonight.

  Determined to make her point, she moved. It was a wrench, but she forced herself to pull away from him.

  ‘This is a first for me. Standing in a queen’s garden, in a prince’s arms!’ she said, making herself chuckle.

  He released her, slowly and gently. When he looked down into her face now, his dark eyes were glowing. ‘It’s a novelty to find someone who isn’t desperate for me to do anything more than this. I never usually touch a woman without an ulterior motive.’

  He spoke carefully, but after what she had been through Alyssa knew better than to expect too much in the way of real support from any man. She took a deep breath and tried to compose herself.

  ‘You were comforting me. That was reason enough.’ She gave a watery chuckle.

  ‘Yes. And tonight it’s the only motive I need,’ he whispered, before pulling her back into his arms and kissing her until the sky went dark.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ALYSSA couldn’t fight her feelings any more. When Lysander released her, she was so breathless with desire she couldn’t speak either. It didn’t matter. There weren’t enough words to describe the way she felt. When he claimed her mouth with his own a second time, she sank into his arms without a care in the world. She had waited so long to feel the touch of his lips against hers again. Every fantasy flew from her mind as she relaxed into the total experience of his kisses. This was so much better than dreaming. The whole sensation of his body cradling hers and the touch of his tongue against her teeth, teasing the soft warm recesses of her mouth, was beyond wonderful. She was fully aware now that every second since she’d first laid eyes on Lysander had been leading up to this moment. The anticipation grew within her body, waiting to be satisfied by his expert touch …

  Lysander knew this would be unlike any other lovemaking. The time for waiting was over. No woman had ever made him suffer like Alyssa. When she walked into his life with her beautiful body and her determined resistance to him, she had become a challenge he couldn’t ignore. When she revealed her tragic past salted with tears, there had been no way he could fail to be moved. And now the touch of her peppermint-cool lips against his own … It was sublime. Everything about her was so much better than his fantasies. She surpassed all the women he had seduced before. He wanted to take his time, and make these moments last for ever so that each movement in the concerto of their desire would be turned into something special. Alyssa would be no ordinary conquest. He could feel her whole body tremble at his touch. He drew her close, and sent his fingers rippling up and down her spine. She gave a little moan of pleasure. That made him smile. She had brought him so many new experiences since they first met. Now it was time to take things to a whole new level for them both. Anticipation smouldered within him, turning his voice into pure temptation.

  ‘Once upon a time you were afraid I might be able to read your mind. Does it worry you that I could be plundering your thoughts right now?’

  ‘Mmm … but I know you aren’t.’ Her reply was low with desire. ‘You’re too kind to do it without asking.’

  ‘Other women will tell you differently.’

  ‘My common sense has been warning me off from the moment you burst into my life, Lysander. Tonight, I can’t resist you any more.’ She sighed, moving her cheek rhythmically against his. His skin was stippled with stubble, and teased her with a thousand points of pleasure.

  ‘Alyssa, you drive me wild …’

  ‘Good, so it’s your turn to suffer,’ she murmured deep into his ear. ‘Bringing me to the world’s most romantic place to tempt me like this—’

  ‘You deserve it.’

  He nuzzled her ear, his words sending warm shivers of excitement right through her body. Nibbling down her neck until he reached her blouse, he dragged it aside with his teeth.

  The thin fabric was no match for him. Alyssa gasped as one side of it fell away. Now there was nothing but a filigree of lacy bra between her left breast and his gaze.

  ‘This is so wrong,’ she breathed.

  ‘Not if it’s what you truly want …’ His voice was running on pure testosterone.

  Her answer was one long, wordless moan of longing. Lysander took her in his arms for a kiss that set her body on fire. She melted into his caresses until they were engulfed in pure, hot passion. This was like nothing she had ever experienced before. There was no room for thought, only action—Lysander’s action.

  ‘I can send you right up among those stars and planets, making you forget everything but the pleasure of my body, and yours. Is that what you want?’ he asked, the earthy vibration of his voice almost more than she could bear.

  Her fingernails drew tracks through his thick dark hair, pulling his head still closer.

  ‘Yes … yes!’

  ‘Then I will make love to you until every celestial light goes out …’ he whispered, his breath dancing over her skin. It was exactly as Lysander promised. Beneath that moonlit sky with its scatter of a few diamond stars, he made love to her in the most perfect sense of the word. Again and again her cries of exultation rang out into the desert night.

  Finally, when pleasure had drained every sound from her, Lysander lowered his head to sip one last kiss from her lips. With it came a final question.

  ‘Now?’

  She looked up at him, sated with desire and wanting only his pleasure. The flickering firelight that danced in his eyes ignited her smile.

  He exploded with a cry of ecstasy that echoed around the ancient walls of the observatory like a song. Alyssa arched to accept his body as wave after wave of pure pleasure carried them both beyond thought.

  ‘Perfect—absolutely perfect,’ he whispered when it was over, resting his cheek gently against her shoulder. Alyssa couldn’t speak. There were no words to tell him how she felt, how he had made her feel. Instead, she rolled her head until she could bury her face in the soft, sweet smelling luxuriance of his dark hair.

  ‘This is how it should be. Always,’ she said, waiting for him to answer.

  But he said nothing.

  Lysander had lost track of time, of place, of everything. His whole existence contracted into The Queen’s Retreat, a place that had unexpectedly come to represent everything good about life. Alyssa intrigued him with her independence. From the moment she walked into his life, her quiet, well ordered way of doing things had become a calm centre in the whirlpool of his new existence. She knew what she wanted, and now she had surrendered to him. As they lay together, his arms protecting her from the chill of the desert night, he smiled, and then wondered why. This seduction was supposed to defuse his desire for her, but it wasn’t going to plan. Hours and hours after first contact, his need for her still burned as hot as ever. He consoled himself that the feeling would pass, eventually. It always did. He had made love to more women that he could remember, but their attraction never lasted beyond bed. Alyssa would be no different. She couldn’t be. Last night she had been at a low ebb, and he merely stepped in to comfort her in the best way he knew how. There was nothing more to it than that.

  The lust rising within him this instant, as her supple sleeping body moulded itself to his, was nothing more than a reaction to the warm pressure of her naked skin.

  Sympathy for her is the only reason I’m not back in my own suite at the palace right now, he told himself. Not even Lysander was immune to hearing about a woman being abandoned by a rat of a fiancé. It was no wonder he was still here. How could he leave her so soon after learning about her tragic past? Alyssa was hurting becau
se a man she had trusted had betrayed her.

  Lysander might have specialised in having a new lover every night, but at least he was honest with them. They all knew better than to accept commitment from him. Alyssa was no exception—she had never made any secret of the fact that she didn’t trust him an inch. That should have made him feel better. This pity event was nothing more than a comfort to make her feel better, he assured himself. She’ll understand.

  But would she?

  He turned the matter over in his mind. She was a sensible woman, who knew his past. There could never be anything more than sex between a woman like her, and a man with his reputation. That should be obvious to anyone. Alyssa was far too down-to-earth to have any illusions, wasn’t she? A night with him was guaranteed to make her forget her pain, and it would get his head back together, too. That was all. They were both level-headed people, and after these few supreme hours of satisfaction the two of them would plunge straight back into their totally respectable careers, and move on. After all, they both used their work as a substitute for adult relationships, and Alyssa worked as hard as he did. Those two facts united them against the world. He knew she was bound to feel the same way as he did about this incredible evening.

  Nobody expects a one-night stand to create any emotional baggage, do they? Lysander thought, convincing himself there wouldn’t be any fallout. Like him, Alyssa would write off this escapade as nothing more than a pleasant little blip for them both.

  Wouldn’t she?

  Through the hours of darkness, Lysander spent a miraculous time giving Alyssa all the physical comfort any woman could ever need. They got no more sleep that night than the nightingales. They made love continuously beneath the golden moon, breathing in the intoxicating scent of the Queen’s garden. It was only when they rested that Lysander had time to work on his excuses. I’m only doing what she wants. It doesn’t matter, as long as she’s calling the shots. She’s known what I’m like, from the start … ‘People will be wondering where you are,’ Alyssa told him sleepily early next morning. She was stroking his hair as he lay with his head resting against her neck.