Heaven Calling

by Matt Shaw

  Definitely too soon, Karen thought to herself as she put the box of assorted photos back into the cupboard she’d found them in. She stood up and walked out of the lounge and into the hallway. She paused and listened out for Holly half expecting to hear sobbing but there was nothing. Not a peep. Slowly she made her way up the stairs - high enough to be able to see into Holly’s room. She was there, on the bed, fast asleep. Karen smiled. It was early so the chances of her sleeping through the night were slim but at least she was sleeping now. Carefully, so as not to make the stairs creak, she walked back down them again.

  A quick cup of tea before heading home, she thought to herself. She walked through to the kitchen and clicked the kettle on to boil again before fetching the ingredients out of their respective cupboards ready to make herself a fresh cup of tea. Whilst the kettle was boiling, she walked back through to the lounge where she had left her mobile phone. She picked it up and checked the screen to see if Frank had tried calling her. He hadn’t. No missed calls and no messages but the blank screen reminded her of what Holly had been telling her with regards to the phone call she thought she had received. Previously put to the back of her mind by the luxury of not having to talk about it and by losing herself through some of the happy couple’s memories via the photographs. She shook the thought from her mind and told herself, once more, that it was just the stress talking. Nothing more and nothing less. Holly would be able to see that in time. She certainly wasn’t going mad.

  She’s not mad, Karen told herself again. She opened up the text messages of her phone and quickly created a new one. Despite being in her sixties - she had always managed to stay current with technology, at least compared to friends of her own age - she typed out a quick text message to her husband on the off-chance he was at home and wanting to know where she had got to - not that it would have been too difficult to guess.

  With Holly. All fine. Home Soon xxxxx

  All fine. What a joke. Nothing was fine. In fact everything was far from fine. All fine would have been the message she would have sent if they were all there - Josh, Holly and herself - enjoying a cosy night in with a few drinks and a home cooked meal, or perhaps a trip to a local pub or...Well - anything than where she presently found herself. Anything which involved happier days. Not this. Not now. Now, nothing was fine. Her daughter’s young husband was dead and her daughter was cracking up.

  She’s not cracking up, she told herself, it’s just the stress.

  A message delivery popped on to her home screen informing her that the message had been sent. She put the phone back and went about finishing making her cup of tea. She didn’t expect a text back from Frank and - even if one came through - it would probably only read as okay, or worse yet, kk. As though typing out a proper message was too much of a hardship for him.

  Karen poured her drink out and walked over to the kitchen table where she sat herself in one of the chairs - her back against the wall so she could see into the kitchen and up the hallway on the off chance Holly came silently down the stairs and inadvertently scaring the crap out of her. It wouldn’t have been the first time.

  She smiled to herself as she remembered one of the occasions when her daughter had scared her. It was when she was helping Holly and Josh move into the house. She had taken some time off work especially to help out despite the couple saying it wasn’t necessary. They had said they didn’t want to be any trouble. What they meant was they didn’t want Karen fussing around them during what was already a stressful period.

  “Nonsense, it’s no trouble,” Karen had told them, missing the true meaning behind their choice of wording. She had shown up at the house before the couple had arrived with the removal men. Not just by a few minutes, but an hour earlier. It was raining outside and so she had remained in the car with the heating on full. Toasty and warm, it wasn’t long before she dozed off only to be woken up by Holly banging on the car window on the driver’s side. Karen had woken with her heart in the back of her throat and was immediately confronted by the sight of Holly and Josh laughing at her.

  Karen shook her head at the thought. A small smile on her face. She had always hated being spooked but - all things considered - now she just wished she could turn the clock back and let them spook her all over again. She took a sip from her cup of tea.

  Happier Days, she thought to herself.

  The Call (Part Two)

  The next morning came and Holly woke with a start. The telephone was ringing beside the bed. Normally she’d have left it but - given the previous day - she didn’t dare ignore it this time. She leaned across and snatched it from the cradle.

  “Josh?”

  “Okay, given the way sod’s law works, I know you can hear me and that the signal is perfect. I’m right, aren’t I?” Josh’s voice came down the telephone line.

  Holly looked at the bedside cabinet where Josh’s phone was still sitting and said, “Yes. I can hear you perfectly.”

  “I knew it. I’m not joking, you should see the twisted-ass position I’m standing in just to get a signal! Anyway, as promised, here I am phoning you. How are you this morning?” he asked. His voice was bright and bubbly as though he didn’t have a care in the world.

  “I’m good,” said Holly - trying her best to sound calm despite being on the verge of tears once again. In the back of her mind she kept telling herself she wasn’t mad and that this was just a dream. Anything else would be impossible.

  “So you didn’t miss me last night?” asked Josh; a playful voice to make himself sound a little disappointed by the fact he hadn’t been missed.

  “I missed you lots,” said Holly. She felt a tear drop from her eye and roll down her cheek. Hold it together girl. It’s just a dream. Enjoy it, she thought to herself.

  “Well you won’t have to miss me much longer! I’ll be coming home soon enough! In fact sooner - I’m going to race the whole way home just to get there quicker for a cuddle!” he said chirpily.

  Holly nearly cracked. A couple of deep breaths to keep control of herself and she told him, “Don’t race home on my account. Just get here safely.” The words nearly stuck in her throat considering what had happened to him. Was that what he was doing at the time of the accident? Was he racing just so he could get home sooner to keep her happy? If so - did that make it her fault? “Do you love me?” she asked. She knew the answer. She just wanted him to say the words. She needed him to say them.

  “Sorry - you’re breaking up,” he said. Holly’s heart skipped a beat. The conversation over at the same place it ended last time? Josh suddenly started to laugh, “You know I love you.”

  “How much?” she asked.

  “Jesus - you woke up in a needy mood, didn’t you?”

  Deep breaths. Don’t cry, she thought.

  She continued, “Sometimes it’s nice to hear the words.”

  “Well - when I see you next - I’ll be sure to tell you face to face!” he laughed - seemingly unaware that he wouldn’t be seeing her again.

  “Tell me now,” Holly pushed him.

  Holly’s heart suddenly skipped a beat when Karen appeared, blurry eyed, in the bedroom doorway. It wasn’t a dream. She wasn’t asleep. It was real. The conversation was real. Quickly Holly frantically waved her over as she tried to pass her the handset to the telephone.

  “I love you,” Josh said. A sentence unheard due to Holly no longer having the phone next to her ear - too desperate for her mum to hear the conversation she was having. Before Holly could tell him the same he quickly continued, “I have to go - coming up to a tunnel. Talk later.”

  Puzzled, Karen took hold of the phone and spoke into it, “Hello?” She gave it back to Holly, “There’s no one there. It’s dead.”

  “What? No! He was right there.”

  “Who?”

  “Josh! I was just talking to him!”

  “Not this again,” said Karen. It was meant to be a comment to herself but accidentally came out loud instead.

  “Don’t talk to me l
ike I’m crazy. I was talking to him. I wasn’t asleep. Just as I wasn’t asleep yesterday.”

  “Honey, there was no one there!”

  “He must have got cut off again. He was there, mum!”

  Karen sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her distraught daughter. She didn’t know what to say for the best. She could tell by her daughter’s face that she believed what she was saying in her own head but there was no way. Things like that just didn’t happen. After few minutes of silence went by Karen turned to Holly and said, “Maybe you need to talk to someone.”

  “What?”

  “I don’t know. A counsellor or something? Someone to help with your grief.”

  “I don’t know how it happened and I don’t know why but this wasn’t grief. I was talking to him as though he were alive. He must have been driving, or something, because the signal wasn’t the best.”

  Karen took a deep breath. There it was again - the nagging feeling that Holly may have been feeling guilty because of a phone call between herself and Josh at the time of the accident. She knew she had to ask her - especially if it would help get to the bottom of the phantom phone calls she believed she was receiving.

  “At the time of the accident,” she asked tentatively, “was he calling you? Or texting you even?”

  Holly didn’t know what to say. She wanted to cry because her mum wouldn’t believe her - tears of frustration rather than sadness, for a change - but she couldn’t. She was too angry that her mum was not only doubting what she was saying - implying she was crazy and needing help - but also that she was partly responsible for Josh’s death in the first place.

  “No!” she hissed. “He was supposed to phone me in the morning, when he was there, but he never made it. He had an accident on the way. Remember? The one in which he died.”

  “You said it yourself - the one in which he died. If he’s dead he can’t be calling you, can he?” Karen jumped in. “Honey, I’m not trying to pick a fight but you’re confused. He can’t be calling you - things like that, as I keep saying, they just don’t happen. Come on, please, let me make you an appointment to talk to your GP. They can refer you to someone who can help you deal with this better than your father and I. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, please...”

  “Why are you even still here?” Holly spat. “I thought you were going last night.”

  “I fell asleep on the settee after a cup of tea. Come on, don’t do this, I’m just trying to help you. Please. Let me call someone.”

  “I just want to be left alone,” said Holly quietly. “Please leave.”

  “I’m not going anywhere until we sort this out,” said Karen. “I don’t want to fall out with you but I don’t think you’re coping as well as you could be - and I’m not blaming you - what you went through is...”

  Holly screamed at her, “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!”

  Karen stopped talking. She nodded, stood up and walked to the bedroom door. “At least think about what I said,” she said quietly to her daughter in the hope she’d take the advice on board. “And if you need me - give me a ring. Or your father if you don’t want to talk to me but - remember - I’m just trying to help.”

  “Get out,” Holly repeated again. She was visibly shaking with rage and Karen could see that. She didn’t try saying else to her. Instead she stepped from the room and pulled the door closed behind her. Holly listened as Karen made her way down the stairs. A couple of minutes later - used, no doubt, to gather her belongings - and the front door opened and closed behind her. As soon as she knew she was alone again, Holly broke down into tears. Tears of sorrow this time; upset about her husband, upset her mother didn’t believe her no matter how crazy it sounded and, now, upset that she had missed the chance to hear Josh say that he loved her again.

  Nothing But Memories

  “Shut up!” said Holly. She was talking to Josh who was kneeling, in front of her in the posh restaurant he had chosen for the occasion, on one knee - outstretched in front of him, in the palm of his sweaty hand, was a small box containing a diamond engagement ring.

  “Shut up?” he asked. A slightly panicky look on his face. When he imagined popping the question to her, in his mind, it played out somewhat differently. Usually with her saying ‘yes’ though as opposed to ‘shut up’. Now he was here on his knee, with the whole of the restaurant watching them, and starting to feel very exposed and self-conscious.

  “Shut up!” she squealed again. “Yes!” she shouted without another moment’s hesitation. “Yes! I do!” She squealed again. “Shut up!”

  “You do?” Josh asked - confused with the amount of mixed signals he was getting. Holly nodded. Josh turned to the people watching, including the staff who were waiting with a bottle of the finest champagne, “She said yes!” he shouted out excitedly. The restaurant exploded into a rapturous round of applause. “She said yes!” he said again. He pulled the ring from the box, pocketed the box, and slid it onto Holly’s finger. No sooner had he got the ring in place, she pulled away from him and held it out in front of her - and up to the light - where she let out another squeal of delight.

  She turned back to Josh again, worried that the whole thing was a sick practical joke. She was used to him playing jokes on her but this one would have been the cruelest yet, “Really? You mean it?”

  “I bought you a diamond ring and you don’t believe I’m serious?” he laughed as he took his seat once more. “Not being funny but if I was going to play a joke on you, or I wasn’t serious at least, I wouldn’t have used a real diamond!”

  “You want to marry me?” she squealed.

  “More than anything else in the whole world,” he gushed. He took hold of her hand - the one wearing the ring - and gave it a kiss as the waiter poured them each a glass of champagne. “You’re my one,” he said.

  Holly thanked the waiter and smiled at Josh, “I love you,” she told him.

  * * * * *

  I love you more, he had told her.

  Holly was sitting on the bed. She hadn’t moved from there since kicking Karen out of the house - other than to reach for the clear bag of possessions given to her by the hospital - part of her hoping that the telephone would ring again. After all - yesterday - he had phoned twice. Maybe he would again now?

  She had emptied the bag onto the bed to see what was there; some car keys, his wallet, his mobile phone which had since run out of battery, some loose change and - the item which prompted her memory - his gold wedding band. Part of her had wished she had turned his proposal down. Not because she didn’t love him. She did. Not that she felt as though she told him enough. She just believed that - if she had turned him down - he would still be alive. Living somewhere else, with another woman perhaps, living a different path to his life. A path which wouldn’t lead to his early death. A selfish part of her - the bigger part - wouldn’t have changed anything at all though. Grateful for any time she had got to spend with him, even if it wasn’t as much as she had hoped for. She put the ring to one side and clutched onto his scented pillow for comfort once more - her eyes fixed upon the ring.

  * * * * *

  “I don’t believe it,” Holly said. She was still looking at the new engagement ring on her finger whilst they were waiting for the waiter to fetch them their bill.

  “Well you have to believe me,” said Josh, “because you said yes. You can’t go back on it now. Not now you’ve built my hopes up.” He suddenly panicked, “You’re not having second thoughts are you?”

  “What? No! God, no!”

  “Good because, not being funny, if you are - I want the ring back. Thing cost me a fortune and I don’t know when I’ll be able to afford another so I’d just have to keep that one safe until I found someone else to love me.”

  Holly teased him, “No one else will love you. Besides - you’re mine.”

  He smiled, “Good to know because...” he reached into his pocket and pulled out another ring box.

  “What’s that?” Holly asked.

&n
bsp; “Well don’t laugh but...” he opened the ring box to reveal a gold wedding band, “...I fell in love with this when I was buying your ring and the shop - well - they gave me discount if I bought the two so...Yeah...Seemed rude not to.”

  Holly laughed, “Not even set a date and yet you’ve brought a wedding ring for yourself? I don’t know - not been in this position before but - is that even how it’s supposed to be done?”