Finding Jordie: Things aren't always what they seem. (The Love Lies Bleeding Series Book 1)

by Harley, HJ

  “I’m going to bed,” I announced as I threw my sweater over my arm and headed up to the bedroom.

  “I ordered pizza. It’ll be delivered in about forty-five minutes. You need to eat,” Nathan called up to me.

  “Oh, you’ve decided you want to speak to me now? Well, thank you,” I snapped as I reached the top step.

  “Jordie, come back down, please,” I heard him say from the living room.

  “Not hungry, goodnight. I love you.” I said it loud enough so he could hear me as I walked into the bathroom. I needed a shower. I felt like a Class A dirt fest after traveling all day, and hopefully it would relax me a bit.

  While the steam began to fill up the room I undressed and tossed my clothes in a pile behind the bathroom door. I stared at myself in the mirror for a moment. I wondered how long he would stay mad at me. Was he having second thoughts about being with me now since I was some horrific privacy invader? I sighed and stepped into the shower. It felt so good. I stood with my back to the door, hands on the tile, while my body soaked in the warmth under the cascade of water. It was a bit hotter than I normally preferred it but I could feel the tension being washed away. I heard the shower door click open and felt the cooler air mix with the steam.

  “Close the door, please. I’m freezing,” I said.

  He wrapped his arms around me, and I could feel him against my behind.

  “Seriously, babe? You won’t talk to me, but you want to fuck me?” I turned around, furious. It was pretty obvious by the expression on his face that I had really pissed him off.

  “I have never nor will I ever fuck you, Jordan. Let’s get that straight right now.” He pursed his lips and squinted. “Second, I can’t help that this is the reaction I have when I see you. I love you, you make me crazy.” He looked down at himself.

  “Yeah, I know that feeling all too well.” I slid my arms around him and rested my head against his chest. “You’ll never fuck me?” I asked mischievously.

  I could feel him looking down at me.

  “You have a freaky side, don’t you?”

  I turned my chin up and smirked. “Possibly.”

  He smiled my smile but I had to take action before he turned my insides into mush.

  “But right now I need to wash up before any fuckery happens and before the hot water runs out.” I grabbed the soap and lathered it between my hands.

  I quickly washed my hair, and he took over when I began to wash my body. I returned the favor when he finished. After we were done I went over to Nathan’s open suitcase and pulled out a t-shirt and pair of boxers and slipped into them before he came out of the bathroom. I was so over the frilly crap and just wanted to sleep in something cotton again. When he finally came out of the bathroom he stopped dead in his tracks. His expression changed from surprised to so effin’ sexy that it sent my pulse racing and I could feel it everywhere throughout my body.

  “You know, Jordan, had I known you’d look this damned sexy in my clothes I wouldn’t have bothered with the frilly stuff, as you say. Not that the frilly stuff doesn’t look absolutely enticing on you, but this... this is unbearable.” He came to me, slid his hand to my behind, and pulled me so close his excitement dug against my hip. “But first we eat. You haven’t had very much today, and well, I’ve heard make-up sex is pretty fun.” His words pulled me out of my thoughts as he winked and released me. I searched his face while he spoke, I could hear him say that Frank would bring the pizza up when it got here, but I wasn’t listening.

  “I’d marry you, too.” There it was again, the infamous word vomit. Instantly my hand flew over my mouth because I’d even shocked myself with that one. It was the truth, though. I would. I wanted to marry this man. “What have you done to me?” I searched in his eyes.

  What I was searching for exactly I didn’t know. What I did know was the sexy playful banter, the feelings he brought out of me, or maybe just the fact it felt like gravity had pulled us together sent my emotions into overdrive and I wanted to be his, forever. It was more than lust. It was more than anything I’d ever felt in my thirty-one years. With small sadness I realized that what I felt for Nathan I’d never felt for my husband, but that fraction of sadness faded as I saw the elation in Nathan’s eyes. His lips turned up just a bit into a devilish grin, and he ran his fingers through my hair, and grabbed it at the nape of my neck just so.

  Holy shit, was I even breathing?

  “I have no words how I feel for you, Nathan. I didn’t know I was capable of loving someone this way.”

  “We’re right for each other, perfect balance. I can’t imagine ever loving anyone else but you,” he whispered while he nipped at my ear.

  “Fuck food.” I jumped up, wrapped my legs around him, and kissed him hard. Harder and more passionately then I ever had. I felt ravenous, primal, and absolutely stripped of all insecurities. His hands were all over me and his long fingers explored my body. I unwrapped myself from around him and dropped his towel to the floor as he yanked my shirt off over my head in one quick motion. I tugged at my shorts and dropped them to the floor as his mouth took over mine. I trapped his bottom lip between my teeth and gently bit down. He groaned when I pulled away slowly. I ran my hands up his chest and when I reached his shoulders I pushed him down onto the bed. I climbed on top of him, locked my fingers with his, and pinned him down. I felt his entire body tighten and he pushed up against me as I went for his neck.

  “Stay still. You’ll get your turn,” I breathed in his ear.

  He swallowed hard, his breathing accelerated, the vein in his neck pulsating against my lips and tongue.

  “As if I’d ever say no to you.” He groaned and tightened his grip around my fingers.

  An hour and forty-five minutes later we lay there sprawled across one another as we gasped for air.

  “I love you,” he huffed out before kissing my shoulder.

  “I love you, too.” I turned my face in his direction. “Nathan... I’m sorry, but... we just fucked.”

  We both busted out laughing.

  “Yeah, you got me there, beautiful.” He turned to me.

  “Okay, I need to eat.” I hopped out of bed, redressing in his boxers and t-shirt.

  “Are you really going to prance around in my shit? Did you not see what it does to me?” He picked up a pair of basketball shorts that had fallen out of his suitcase when we knocked it on to the floor.

  “You’ll be all right, for now.” I stuck my tongue out at him.

  “You’re so lucky I’m starving.” He narrowed his eyes at me and nodded meaningfully as we reached the kitchen.

  “So, are we going to discuss why you were so upset with me?” I prompted. “I swear I wasn’t snooping. I really was curious about the laptop itself.”

  “I didn’t think you were snooping, Jordie, and I wouldn’t have given a shit if you were. I have nothing to hide from you. Yes, I was embarrassed about what I said to my father about marriage.” He opened the fridge and took out a beer.

  I hadn’t realized it but I guess I looked like I was about to cry because he put the beer down on the counter and took my hands.

  “No, no, I wasn’t embarrassed because I said I wanted to and I really didn’t or anything like that. Shit. I was embarrassed because you saw that I had said I wanted to. I want more than anything for you to be my wife. I was just embarrassed because I didn’t know what you thought about me feeling that way, or if the thought had never crossed your mind how foolish I’d feel. You follow?” He bent his knees so he was nose to nose with me at eye level.

  “Yes, I follow.” I gave a slight nod, unsure of what to say.

  “But you took away any awkwardness I had about that situation.”

  I wasn’t prepared for that conversation yet. I had blurted something out in the heat of the moment, and I didn’t regret what I said, but I knew it was too soon. I had no doubts I would marry him, I just needed the time to wrap my head around everything that had happened. A month ago I was content with being term
inally single raising my kid, and now marriage was being brought up? I needed to get off this track and quick.

  “Oh, before I forget. About that other situation, about me having a stalker? I... I don’t see how that’s even possible.” I had my “you-men-think-you-know-it-all” tone in check when I said it.

  “I don’t know, Jordan. It was just a passing thought Frank and Richard came up with. Richard has been looking into it.”

  “It isn’t possible.” I dismissed their speculations by shaking my head.

  “Of course it isn’t.” Nathan opened the front door and picked the pizza up from the doorstep. He buzzed down to Frank and thanked him for bringing it up. We ate our cold pizza while Nathan helped me find a laptop for Emma online. “I think she’d prefer an iPad rather than a bulky laptop,” he said.

  “I know what that is,” I announced with pride and enthusiasm. She had an iPod, and actually had mentioned an iPad a few times. It was almost instantaneous. After a few clicks one would be delivered by Tuesday.

  “That’s kind of dangerous for me, shopping without leaving the house. My Lord, the deals I could find. I’d probably go broke.”

  After I had a long talk with Emma, she assured me, more than once, that Nathan staying with us while filming was more than fine. Nathan promised her she could go on set whenever she wanted and could even bring a friend. She could barely contain herself and just went on and on about how she couldn’t wait to meet his fellow cast mates. I myself was far less enthusiastic about the cast mate situation—he’d finally found out who his female costars would be, and they were, of course, all gorgeous—but the fact that he would be here, with me, trumped any uneasiness I had about some chicks he’d be working with. Well, for the time being anyhow. He had a bit over a month free before he began filming, so over the next five weeks Nathan, Emma, and I did a lot of touristy things—family things—and it was great.

  There really was so much we didn’t know about one other, and we utilized every minute we could to fix that. He left towels on the floor, ate peanut butter straight from the jar, and liked to watch television before he fell asleep. It drove me crazy. I left empty coffee cups everywhere, I never had peanut butter in the house, and I hogged the comforter, which irked him beyond belief. Funny enough though, it was the little things that made me love him even more.

  Frank had gone back home to L.A. about three weeks earlier to spend some time with his family before Nathan needed him back while he worked. Things had been perfect. There’d been no creepy phone calls, the paps had backed off considerably, and the bar was doing great. I’d worked two weekends since we got back from L.A. I had to be getting soft because I actually complained that my feet and back hurt. Okay, yeah, I was out of practice.

  Rachel had really stepped up to the plate when it came to running the place. I owed her a hell of a lot more than just two weekends off, that was for sure. She must have been exhausted because I called her every day that week and she never answered. She’d just send me a random text that she was sorry but she’d been busy at the bar and then spending whatever time she could with Tyler. Well, that made me feel like a Class A asshole slave driver. I missed my best friend.

  I could tell Nathan really missed Frank, too. If you thought about it, Frank was Nathan’s Rachel. Always there for him, always covering his ass, and would never betray him.

  “Frank will be by in a few to visit and discuss my schedule,” Nathan announced as he came down from the bedroom.

  I tried Rachel again to see if I could talk with her, but she didn’t answer again. I’d catch her at the bar, I decided.

  When Frank walked in he shook Nathan’s hand and gave me a bear hug, feet off the ground and all. I don’t think he realized he knocked the wind right out of me, but to have him back was a good feeling. They sat at the table and I grabbed some drinks. Before they got down to business Frank filled us in on all the details of his trip home and told us his wife and one of his daughters were coming to visit in a few weeks. You could see the excitement in his eyes. I checked the time on my phone a few times. After the last one, I realized they’d stopped talking.

  “Jordie, are you late for something?” Frank asked with a scowl.

  “No, not that I know of. Why?”

  “Well, you seem very preoccupied by something and keep checking the time.”

  I glanced up and both of them were staring at me.

  “Oh, no, no, I wasn’t checking the time. I want to catch Rachel before work.” I rushed the words out shoving my phone in my pocket as I stood up.

  “No!” Nathan said and startled me because it wasn’t like him to shout like that.

  “Um, no?” It was my turn to scowl.

  “I mean, no. She isn’t working tonight. I forgot to tell you. Tyler texted me. She needed a night off. He said Amber and Isobel would be fine with the guys for one night. It’s not like it’s a Saturday or anything.” He stammered a bit.

  “Okay, but why didn’t she call me?” I eyed him suspiciously.

  “I don’t know, Jordan, I’m just the messenger,” he snapped and looked back down at his paperwork.

  “She must be upset with me because I dumped my responsibilities on her.”

  “I’m sure that has nothing to do with it.” He kept his eyes on the papers in front of him. I knew him well enough now to know there was something he wasn’t telling me.

  “Is she okay, Nathan? She isn’t sick or missing or something is she? Your friend didn’t, like, hack her up in a million pieces and shove her in a freezer somewhere, did he?” I stood up and slammed my hands on the table.

  “No, Queen of the Dramatic, she isn’t dead somewhere. She just needed a day to rest. That’s all.”

  Whatever, Mister Moviestar, this is my best friend we’re talking about.

  He pulled out his phone, hit a button, then another, and placed it on the table as it rang through the speaker.

  “What?” Rachel answered, annoyed.

  “Rachel!” I shouted before Nathan could say anything.

  “Oh, hey Jords, sorry I bailed tonight. I just need a day to relax and get some personal shit done. I just paid my bills so now I’m going back to my couch and finish watching this marathon of Cupcake Wars. Did you know they put bacon in cup cakes? How effing gross is—” I heard Tyler’s voice cut her off, and she was quiet for a second.

  “Talk tomorrow okay? I love you, biotch.” She hung up. She hadn’t given me a chance to say anything.

  I guessed she really did just need some rest.

  “See? Not dead, just tired.” Nathan slid his phone off the table and back into his pocket.

  “All right. Whatever.” I moved over to the couch, plopped down on it, and groaned with frustration. Well, I guess that answered all my questions—not.

  “I can’t believe you start work tomorrow. You’ve spoiled me. I’m so used to you always being here now.” I sulked as I put the dishes from dinner in the sink. “Emma, go get ready for bed, please,” I said when she brought her plate in.

  “I’m excited you’re starting tomorrow. I’ll get to meet Leena Thompson!” she squealed.

  The ever-so-wonderful pang of jealousy ripped through my stomach, and I mocked the words Leena Thompson with a sour face. Neither of them saw me, though, as I loaded the dishwasher.

  “Yep,” Nathan said from behind Emma. He kissed my head and thanked me for a great dinner as he rinsed his plate off and put it in the dishwasher.

  “Thanks,” I muttered.

  “Oh no, I know that tone.” He eyed me with a smirk.

  “It’s nothing, shut up,” I spit out and he chuckled.

  “You know, I could arrange for you to come with me every day if it makes you feel better.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” I rolled my eyes. I knew he loved me. I trusted him completely. But still, what woman wouldn’t be jealous? “I’m going for a smoke.” I followed Emma out of the kitchen.

  “Wait for me.”

  It was a beautiful May night. Yo
u could see the city for miles from the rooftop. The last thing I wanted to do was discuss Nathan’s hall pass to lip-locking with gorgeous women, but I guessed it was inevitable.

  “Babe, I know when something is bothering you, and I know what it is that’s bothering you right now. What I don’t know is why you’re doubting me. Have I ever given you a reason to doubt how I feel about you?” He wrapped his arms around me.

  “No,” I said softly.

  “Then please explain to me why it bothers you so much.” He turned me around. He had the slightest hint of a smile on his lips.

  “I’m glad you find this fucking amusing, Nathan.” I tried to turn back around but he held me in place.

  “I don’t find it amusing. I find it adorable, and it makes me happy that you love me so much.”

  “I’ll just try to forget that you’re across town somewhere womanizing a gorgeous blond, brunette, and whoever else is thrown in the mix.” I couldn’t keep the emotion out of my voice. “How would you feel if the roles were reversed?” I asked in a small voice, careful not to make eye contact with him.

  “I’d feel exactly how you do, but this is my job. I promise I won’t be thinking of them while I’m acting.” He lifted my chin and gave me a soft smile.

  “I know.” I sulked. Doesn’t mean I have to like it, stupid movie star man.

  “Besides, when you’re working and all those men flirt with you, you don’t think that drives me insane?” He raised an eyebrow.

  “What? Nobody hits on me, Nathan.”

  He let out a huge laugh and pulled me in closer to him. “You can’t be that oblivious, baby.”

  “Whatever.” I rolled my eyes and chuckled.

  “Okay, Jordan. Whatever you say, honey, whatever you say.” He rocked gently back and forth with his arms around me and planted a soft kiss on my forehead.

  “Once Emma goes to bed I think I’m going to hit the sack, too. I’m exhausted.” I managed the words out through my yawn.

  “You’ve been sleeping a lot the past week. You feeling okay?” His eyebrows scrunched together with concern.