Under Your Skin

by Shannyn Schroeder

  Oh, shit. She waddled down the stairs and to the front door as quickly as her swollen feet would carry her.

  Pushing out the screen door, she found both Tommy and Avery on the porch. Sean stood at the curb, leaning against the car as he watched.

  Tommy pointed at Avery. “He says he knows you. From Boston.”

  Norah’s mouth dried as she moved forward to get between them. Tommy would never hit her.

  “Yes, I know Avery.” She placed her hands on her belly.

  Tommy’s eyes narrowed. “This is him?”

  She inhaled deeply. “Avery is the baby’s father.”

  Tommy’s hands clenched. She patted his arm. “It’s okay.”

  He nodded and looked at Avery over her shoulder. “I’ll be at the curb watching.”

  Tommy walked down the stairs and spoke quietly to Sean. Norah turned to Avery. “What are you doing here?”

  “I wanted to see you. I don’t like the way we left things.”

  Norah looked at her brothers and then at the house. Her dad was in the living room as usual. Which would be worse?

  She opted for remaining in view of Sean and Tommy. “Want to sit?” she asked, pointing to the steps.

  He nodded and held her arm as she lowered herself to the concrete. When he sat beside her, Tommy stared. She tried to ignore him. At least he’d handled Avery’s appearance better than she’d thought.

  “How are you?” he asked.

  “Okay. I feel huge and can’t see my feet, but the baby is healthy.”

  “I’m sorry for what I said on the phone about abandoning our baby.” He reached over and took her hand. “It was a horrible thing to say.”

  Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. “I’ve thought a lot about this, Avery. It wasn’t a decision I made lightly.”

  “I know, but it’s huge.”

  “Yeah.” She huffed a small laugh and rubbed her belly. “I considered keeping her. My brother Jimmy said he’d help and I know he meant it. But I want more for my kid than what I can offer. I want her to have a better life than I did growing up.”

  “I can support our kid.”

  “But it’s more than money. I had financial support growing up. It’s not enough. Neither of us is ready to be a parent.”

  He nodded, his eyes never leaving her face. “You’re right.”

  Avery still held her hand, but she felt nothing. None of the old stirrings cropped up. Sure, now her hormones fled.

  “I’m sorry for the way I handled this. I should’ve told you right away.”

  “Why didn’t you?” he asked.

  She smiled and bit her lip. “Truth?”

  He nodded.

  “I was afraid you’d want to stay together and raise it.”

  “Oh.” He slid his hand away as if she expected a proposal.

  “I just . . . I know you’re a stand-up guy. Even without getting married, I thought you might pressure me to keep her.” She wiped her palms on her thighs, suddenly nervous and feeling like a fool.

  “Well, you got it half right. I shouldn’t have tried to pressure you. But I’m not ready for marriage. We’ve known each other for less than a year and most of that we were apart.”

  “I know.” She shook her head and stared at the street where her brothers went back under the hood. After all the hoopla when she came home, they were leaving her to handle this. They trusted her. Go figure.

  “So what do we do now?”

  “I’m working with an adoption counselor. Teagan. She’ll be sending you the paperwork. Right now, I’m looking at couples who want to adopt.”

  “You get to choose?”

  “Yep. I have a couple I really like. We’re meeting tomorrow if you want to join us.” She turned to face him.

  He sank against the step. “I can’t. I’m flying back out tonight. I have class tomorrow.”

  “You flew all the way to Chicago for a day? To see me?”

  He smiled. It was open and friendly. The kind of smile that drew her to him in the first place. “I needed to know we were okay. I want to know about how the adoption works. I want to hear it from you.”

  “Come inside and I’ll show you the profiles of the couples I have, especially the one I think is a good fit.” She angled and reached for the rail, but Avery jumped up and held out his hands for her. He hauled her to her feet. “I’m glad you came.”

  “So am I.”

  She waved to Tommy who had turned his attention back to them. “We’re going in.” As Avery walked up the steps, she mouthed to Tommy, Thank you.

  She led Avery through the living room and to the kitchen where they might get a little privacy. Pulling the files from her bag, she said, “These are the first five I got. I immediately cut two because they don’t live in houses. I want our baby to have a house with a yard and a neighborhood with friends and a mom and dad.”

  “It’s a good way to grow up.”

  She knew he understood. He’d grown up that way. She put Kim and Trevor’s file on top. “This is the couple I like. The couple I’m meeting tomorrow.”

  He opened the folder and she let him read in peace. He chuckled just as she’d done when she read the letter. When he moved on to the other profiles, she tried to fill him in on the process.

  “So the baby will grow up knowing she’s adopted and who you are?”

  “And you if you want. You can visit and be part of her life.” She swallowed. “That’s how I know I’m not abandoning our baby. I’ll be there, but I won’t be the person responsible. I can love her and not worry about screwing her up.”

  “You’d make a great mom.”

  “I don’t know. Maybe one day.”

  “When do you think you’ll decide about who gets the baby?”

  “Do you want to be part of that? I mean, we can make more appointments to meet with couples or maybe we can Skype the meeting. I don’t know.”

  “I trust you to pick someone good. That’s part of why I wanted to be here. To make sure you were sure. But it seems like you have this handled. If you want to call me and give me updates, that would be good, but I don’t think I want to choose parents for my child.”

  “Okay. But you’ll sign all the papers, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  Avery stayed for an hour and her family left them alone. They didn’t try to bully Avery, but they were there if she needed them. Turned out, she didn’t. Avery had accepted her decision. He’d even talked to his parents about it. It had been at their urging that he came to Chicago.

  When a cab showed to take Avery back to his hotel, Norah walked him out. She promised to keep him updated about her plans. He waved as he climbed into the car and Tommy jogged up the steps to her.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah. I’m glad you didn’t beat him up.”

  “I really only wanted to do that the first night you came home.”

  She shot him an incredulous look.

  “Okay. Maybe a little longer. But you were right. You made your decisions. He didn’t do this to you and he was man enough to show up here. I’m assuming he wanted to discuss plans?”

  “Yeah. We’re good.” She threw her arms around him and hugged him as tightly as she could. “Thanks.”

  “For what?”

  “Being here.”

  “Anytime, squirt.”

  Chapter Seven

  Kai had no idea his mom could be so exhausting. How the hell had Norah done this all week? Every time he turned around, Mom was calling him for something else. He only hoped that by eight she’d be as tired as he was so he could have his biweekly poker game without interruption.

  Right now, she sat on the couch reading a book with some news channel droning in the background. This might be his only chance to escape to buy the beer he needed for tonight. He grabbed his keys. “I’m running to the store, Mom. I have some friends coming over.”

  “Friends? Like a party?”

  “No. We play poker. Don’t worry. We’ll be in the basement
so no one will bother you.”

  “Do I get to meet these friends?”

  His muscles flinched at the thought. “No.” He didn’t offer any other explanation, including the fact that she already knew—and hated—most of the guys that were coming.

  Before she could bitch or ask anything else, he rushed out the door. He couldn’t wait for her knee to return to normal so he could have his house and his life back. At the store, he grabbed a case of beer and as he cut through the next aisle, he noticed the yogurt display. He knew Norah had finished the few containers she’d left at his house. He tried to remember what she liked. Something gross. Then he remembered the green label. Lime. He scanned the shelf and stacked cups on top of the case of beer before moving carefully to the checkout.

  The cashier glanced at his purchase and smiled. “Interesting blend. Lime yogurt and beer.”

  He handed her cash and grabbed the bag with the yogurt and his beer and left. Back in his car, he had no desire to go back home. How long could he sit parked before his mom started calling him?

  He was being selfish and he knew it. On the way home, he stopped to pick up dinner. Although he handled most of the same things Norah had done for his mom all week, including a slow-as-hell walk a few houses down, he wasn’t going to cook dinner. Chicken in a bucket would be fine.

  Juggling the bag, the bucket of chicken, and his beer, he nudged the car door closed and stomped up the stairs. “Hey, Mom. I brought dinner,” he called as soon as he cleared the door.

  He turned the corner and saw his mom standing, leaning against the chair, gripping tight to the back. Dumping everything on the table, he rushed to her. “What’s wrong?”

  “I got up to go to the bathroom. I did okay. But then I couldn’t get back onto the couch. My leg didn’t want to cooperate.”

  “How long have you been standing here?” He grabbed her elbow and felt the tremble.

  “Not too long. I knew you’d be back soon. The store is like a repellent for you.”

  He didn’t believe her for a minute, but let her have the lie. He eased her back to the couch. “You okay now?”

  She released a deep breath. “I’m fine.” Then her gaze landed on the table. “What’d you buy?”

  “I brought chicken for dinner. Beer for poker.”

  “In the bag.” She eyed him like she knew.

  “Yogurt for Norah.”

  “Hmmm.”

  “Don’t hmmm me. I was at the store. I remembered there wasn’t any in the fridge. If the only perk she gets for spending her entire day with you is disgusting lime yogurt, it’s the least I could provide.”

  “Of course. I think it’s nice you think of her on her day off is all.”

  For Christ’s sake. He grabbed the bag of yogurt and pointed at her. “Do not try any of your matchmaking bullshit. Norah has enough going on in her life without you meddling.”

  In that moment he realized what his mother had done. He told her not to interfere in order to protect Norah, not himself. Unlike his normal self-centered response. His mom had routinely pushed herself into his life to fix it, and he’d always told her to butt out. These women were going to make him crazy. He took the yogurt to the kitchen and shoved the whole bag into the fridge.

  It had only been a week. How the fuck had they wheedled their way into his life? His mom, he’d expected. He liked her living with Jaleesa for that reason. The physical separation meant less interference. But he hadn’t seen Norah coming. He shouldn’t give a fuck. He knew better. But it had only gotten worse since he kissed her. She so openly let him into her life in a way he didn’t understand.

  And he didn’t want to.

  Maybe some extra space would be good. He was glad he’d given her the extra day off. She deserved it and if it gave him some distance from her, even better.

  He grabbed plates and silverware for dinner and pushed Norah from his mind. Poker night was exactly what he needed to forget about women.

  Hours later, his mom was in bed, cell phone beside her in case she needed to reach him, and he was in the basement setting up for poker. Beer cold in the mini-fridge, ashtrays out for cigars or whatever else the guys might smoke, chairs in place, cards ready. He’d already texted the guys and told them to come around back to the basement door, which he’d left propped open.

  Rooster was the first to show, bottle of whiskey in hand. “Afraid to let your neighbors see us now? Were they complaining about the thugs you brought to the neighborhood?”

  “Yeah, asshole, you’re an embarrassment.” They shook hands and Rooster thumped his back.

  “Sorry about your mom. She okay?”

  “We both know you two can’t stand each other, which is why you had to use the back door. She’s upstairs.”

  “I ain’t got no gripe with your mom. She hates me. I get it. History, you know? But I wouldn’t wish her any harm.”

  Just then, Eric and Carlos came in. “What’s with the secret entrance bullshit?”

  “My mom is upstairs recovering from surgery.” He didn’t say anything else. These were his childhood friends, the guys his mom had done everything she could to keep him from because they were a bad influence. She hadn’t been totally wrong, but they were still his friends.

  The guys each popped the tops on their beer and opened the chips Eric had brought. Rooster took a swig directly from the whiskey bottle and passed it to Carlos. They settled in to their usual catching up while they waited for Dean. He showed up a few minutes later and the game was ready to begin.

  Carlos opened the deck of cards and shuffled as everyone pulled out money. They didn’t bother with using chips. Their pot was all cash. With an unlit cigar in his mouth, Carlos asked, “Your mom doing okay?”

  “She’s getting better, for the most part. It’s a long road though.”

  “What do you do with her all day? Why not put her in rehab?” Dean asked.

  “She refused. I got a girl who comes in and stays with her while I’m at work.”

  Rooster laid his cards on the table and leaned forward. “A girl? You holding out on us?”

  “I pay her to take care of my mom.”

  “What else does the pay cover?”

  “Shut the fuck up and play cards.”

  Rooster picked up his cards and arranged them in his hand. “When do we get to meet her?”

  “Never. Your ugly ass’ll scare her away.” He tossed a buck into the center of the table.

  “She must be hot if you’re trying to keep her all to yourself.”

  He knew Rooster was fucking with him and he shouldn’t let it bother him, but it did.

  “Come on, man. We always used to share.”

  Kai ground his teeth together. Shit like that reminded him why he only saw Rooster at the poker game. They ran together for years, but Rooster never moved past teenage stupidity.

  “Ante up,” Carlos called, breaking the tension.

  Kai’s phone buzzed on the table. He glanced at it. Mom. “Fuck.” He slammed his cards down. “I’ll be right back.”

  He went up to help his mom get to the bathroom. Hopefully it would be the last trip for the night. He tucked her back in, made sure her phone was close, and turned off the light. He hadn’t even gotten to the stairs when she called him.

  “Yeah?”

  “Can you get me a glass of water?”

  He sighed, but got the water and delivered it to her. “Anything else?”

  “I’m good.”

  Back in the basement, Dean looked at him when he took his seat. “Problem?”

  Kai shook his head. He wouldn’t give any of them, especially Rooster, the ammunition to give him shit over taking his mom to the bathroom. Over the next hour, she managed to interrupt two more times before he called her on it.

  “No more, Mom. I know you don’t do this to Norah.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  He sighed. “Good night.”

  Back at the poker table, where he’d lost eve
ry hand and was easily down fifty bucks, he barked at Dean, “Deal.”

  “Yes, sir,” Dean mumbled.

  Kai stared at the crap hand he’d been dealt. Like his life. He folded quickly, not wanting to lose more money.

  Rooster followed and while the rest of the guys played out their hands, Rooster sat at the weight bench and did some curls. “Hey, man. I want to talk about getting some new ink.”

  Kai didn’t even turn around. “Talk somewhere else. You know I don’t do that.”

  One rule he’d made for himself after getting out of jail was no more gang affiliation. No jobs, no tattoos, nothing. Rooster was his only connection to the life he left behind. Even the other guys had grown up and left it all.

  The weights clunked back into place. “Come on, man. You know I don’t roll like that anymore. I want this one for my kids.”

  Rooster had three kids with three different baby mamas.

  “I want them here.” He tapped his chest right over his heart.

  “So go to whoever gave you the rest of your ink.”

  “That’s bullshit. My money’s as good as anyone else’s.”

  “Anyone who comes to me looking for gang tats is told to hit the road.”

  “This is personal. I’ve always preferred your work. You know that.” He stood and went back to his seat to get ready for the next hand.

  Kai wasn’t sure how deep Rooster was still into the gang. Kai hadn’t been with them long. Not compared to most guys. Long enough to get busted. He and Rooster broke into a house. They had a job to steal the drugs that were there and anything else they could grab was theirs. Kai had been stupid enough to think it would be easy. In and out. The gang had their back. They were going to look out and keep them safe.

  It was a lesson learned. Kai did his time and steered clear of the gang after that.

  Rooster had stayed on and for a couple of years tried to convince Kai to return. Kai might not have been the smartest kid in the neighborhood, but he knew enough to learn from his fuckups.

  “Will you at least draw it for me? I’ll have someone else do the work.”