Not That Kind of Love

by K. S. Martin

  “Will you let me feed you breakfast?” He murmured against my ear awhile later.

  “I have to get to work.” I felt his chin lift in a nod. “Do you want to have dinner?” I asked quietly.

  “I’d like that very much.” He squeezed me in a full body hug. “Can I cook for you? Or would you rather go out?”

  “Either one, surprise me.” I tried to sit up but he pulled me back and kissed me again then he let me go. I could’ve stayed in his arms all day. “We have to feed you something fattening. You’re too skinny Jamie.” I poked him in the ribs.

  “I’ll be okay.” The corners of his mouth lifted but his eyes were still sad. I pulled my clothes on and found my jacket and my keys.

  “I’ll see you tonight.” I said then left. I went home and showered quickly, dressed and caught myself humming as I drove back to the office. I brought Hannah flowers and coffee and nearly sang ‘Good Morning’ to her. She smiled knowingly and sipped the coffee.

  “Michelle?” Hannah said coming into my office an hour later. “Can I ask what happened to you last night? Is everything okay?” I smiled and blushed. “You met up with Jamie?” I nodded then sighed. “Good. You’re better with him. Happier and I don’t know… just better.”

  “Do you think so?” She nodded.

  “I really do. I’m going to grab you a yogurt, do you need more coffee?” I looked into my cup and nodded.

  “Thanks Hannah.” She waved over her shoulder and went to find the yogurt and coffee. I finished the taxes that I was working on complete with follow up instructions and put them in a file. I looked at my email and made notes on my desk calendar. Hannah came back with yogurt and filled my coffee cup. Placing a stack of folders on my desk and picked up the folder that I had just finished.

  “Done?” I nodded and looked through the stack that she’d put on my desk.

  I got started on the paperwork and asked Hannah to do research for me on a few items as I sorted the papers. We worked while we ate our lunches. She had what looked like leftover lasagna and I had a turkey sandwich. My lunches were really disappointing since I’d left Jamie. We usually met for lunch or he would pack our lunches if it was going to be a busy day for either of us and sometimes he would have something sent up to me if he was busy. I missed that. I missed him taking care of me. I missed that damn pod coffee too. I bought a drip maker when I moved into my house and it wasn’t as good, maybe I needed to buy different coffee. I barely had time to shop though since tax season started and I was nearly broke with two rents. The new company that I was working for did a lot of them. Hannah stuck her head in my door and told me to go home. I couldn’t keep track of time without Jamie either. He’d always sent me a text when it was time to leave. I know that I have the capability of telling time but never really bothered. I was not a clock watcher. I get absorbed in what I’m doing and everything else is blocked out. Jamie said once that I had DDA. I laughed then knowing exactly what he meant. I had the opposite of ADD, some children can’t focus because they have ADD, and I can’t un-focus. There’s not a pill for it that I’ve ever heard about. I turned my computer off, got my lunch bag and closed my blinds. I heard voices outside of my office but couldn’t see anything. Then there was huge bouquet of roses strolling in through my door. Jamie dropped them away from his smiling face and handed them to me. I buried my nose in them and inhaled deeply. “Mmm.” I said. He knew I only liked flowers that smelled if they didn’t smell they may as well be plastic as far as I am concerned. “Beautiful.” They were cream colored but they had a dark pink edge. I inhaled again. I stepped out of my office and handed one of them to Hannah. She sniffed it and made the same noise.

  “It’s delightful to see you Mr. Flanagan and thank you for making her so happy.” Jamie smiled and nodded. Hannah smiled and picked up her purse and lunch box and left quietly.

  “Flanagan?!” Mr. Robichaux strode hurriedly across the office toward us. My brows furrowed. Jamie knew my boss? The big man came over and clapped Jamie on the back dragging him in for a hug. I know my eyes were huge. This man was never this friendly, he was nice but never like this. Jamie hugged him back then punched him in the arm. “I thought that was you, how have you been son? What are you doing here?” Jamie turned to me then, I was still holding the roses. “Oh I see.” His smile broadened, “You must be the one that scared the shit out of Liam. You’re the boyfriend.”

  “I am sir. How have you been? And what are you doing here? Did you give up teaching?” Jamie was looking at him with what looked like hero worship.

  “I gave it twenty and then gave into the Missus. She wanted to be closer to the grandkids so we moved and I came here. How have you been?”

  “Great sir. I put your lessons to work every day, thank you for the education sir.” Jamie touched his arm. “It’s really good to see you again.”

  “You know you were one of my best students Flanagan. If I were to make you an offer, what would you do with it? We’re looking for someone with your skill set.”

  “I would give any offer from you deep and genuine consideration sir.” Jamie grinned. Robichaux pulled a business card from his breast pocket and handed it to Jamie. Jamie did the same.

  “I’ll give you a call Flanagan, soon.” Jamie nodded and let Robichaux hug him again.

  “I’m looking forward to it sir.” Robichaux went back down the corridor and into an office. “So you are working with Robichaux. You are a very lucky girl.” Jamie leaned down to kiss my cheek. “What would you like for dinner Michelle?”

  “I’m not sure what just happened here.” I stuttered. “How do you know him?”

  “He was my professor three times, and my advisor.” He went into my office and picked up my things then took my elbow and led me from the office. “Now I am starving, are we going to eat?” I nodded and went with him to the elevator. I saw Liam duck into an office when he saw us waiting for the elevator. Jamie let me go in first when the doors opened. He pushed the garage button. “What are you hungry for sweetheart?” I turned to him then reaching up around his neck bringing his face down to mine for a kiss. “Don’t tease me Mich,” He said against my mouth. “I’ll push you up against this wall and have my way with you.” I shook my head and pointed up at the camera. “We could make our own porn.” I laughed at that. The doors opened and I could see the Mustang parked next to my truck.

  “I’ll follow you, I feel like a big salad.” I said.

  “Okay, I’ll find you something.” He got in his car and pulled out when I was inside my truck and in my seat belt. I followed him to an Italian restaurant and parked. Jamie opened my door and helped me out. We stepped into the garlic, oregano and olive oil infused air. I always loved that smell. It was almost as intoxicating and Jamie’s skin. We were seated at a table with a checked table cloth and a candle flickering in a small ruby jar. Jamie ordered Chianti and antipasto salad to start. When the waiter returned he asked for Lasagna and Tortellini.

  “Jamie, I just wanted a salad.” I whispered.

  “Michelle, we’ve both been through a lot. We’ve both lost a lot of weight and neither of us looks good. Quit with the damn salads already, eat some food, for me?” I nodded and sipped the wine. I didn’t usually like red wine but it was good.

  “Jamie, how did you find my work?” He set his glass down.

  “Fran followed then sat outside of your boyfriend’s house all night and followed him to work the next morning. She sat in the parking lot until you showed up for work and told me. After that, it wasn’t hard to figure out which firm you were working for since there are only two in the building.” I nodded. “You aren’t going to bolt on me again are you?” He asked seriously. I shook my head.

  “I only wondered, I know what I did wasn’t fair. I felt guilty every day but when I thought that it was Jenny you wanted, I couldn’t stay and have you near me without being able to have you.” I squeezed his hand. A ghost of a smile touched his perfect lips.

  Jamie and I shared tasting from eac
h other’s plates. He ordered Tiramisu for desert. I fell in love with it instantly, it tasted like a creamy coffee dream and I couldn’t get enough of it. Jamie order two more to go before he asked for the check. I made sure that I got every molecule of the dessert off of the plate and into my mouth. I caught Jamie smiling at me. “If you want to lick the plate I can create a distraction.” He laughed. I shook my head and put the fork down, embarrassed. I was so stuffed that I wanted to loosen my pants and lean back like my Dad always did. “Do you want to come home with me? I’d really like for you to.” Jamie was holding my hand now, his thumb caressing my knuckle.

  “Okay. I want to stop at my place and put my roses in water and grab some clothes.” His face brightened.

  “Let’s stop at my place and pick up some clothes, its close then we’ll go to your place. I haven’t seen it yet. Which building did you choose?” He asked.

  “I rented a house. It was cheaper than all of the apartments that I looked at believe it or not. I don’t have a gym or anything like that, but it’s nice. Let’s go.” I held his hand as we walked out. I followed him and waited in the garage for him to come back, I didn’t want for us to get distracted and not make it to my place. He came back in a few minutes with a duffle bag and waved at me. I heard the Mustang start and Jamie backed out waiting for me. Did I really want this? I had avoided it up until now, Jamie seeing where I’d run to. I put it in drive and pulled forward out of the garage. Yes, I wanted it. I loved him. I wanted him. He followed me across town, through the suburban neighborhood that I now resided in until I pulled into the driveway of the small brick rancher that rented. I opened the garage with the opener on my visor. I pulled my truck in and got out motioning to him to pull in beside me. He cut the engine and got out.

  Chapter 11

  “Wow, I’m already inside your garage Mich, kinky.” I laughed and pushed the button again to lower the door. I unlocked the door to the inside of the house and let him in. He found a light switch and went into the kitchen. He put his duffel on the counter and unzipped it while I put my lunch bag away. He pulled out the pod coffee maker and set it up on the counter next to the drip machine. “There you go buddy. You’re home now.” I looked at him curiously. “I bought that for you and you can’t tell me that the drip is better.” I shook my head. “Good.” He unplugged the drip machine and put it in an empty cabinet. He zipped the duffel and slung it over his shoulder. “How about giving me the tour?” I motioned for him to follow me. I turned on lights as I moved into the living room.

  “This is the living room.” He nodded and followed me down the hall, “Bedroom one, two and master.” I pointed. “There’s a bathroom there and another in the master.” I like this one because it has a longer counter.” He grinned. “What?”

  “You finally found a bathroom with enough room for all of your stuff.” He pulled me into his arms now and kissed me sweetly. “It’s nice except for one thing.”

  “It’s too far from you.” He nodded and followed me into the bedroom and unpacked his duffel. I noticed that he put a tee shirt and jeans on the chair in the corner. His shaving bag was beside it. “Jamie, where are your work clothes, are you off tomorrow?” Jamie grimaced.

  “Mich, I quit my job.” I watched his face carefully. “I couldn’t cope after the accident. I couldn’t keep it together. I couldn’t concentrate. I worked for a couple days and put in my notice. I had to find you, you were all that mattered.” He avoided my eyes.

  “Jamie.” My voice was soft, soothing even with the fear filling me. “It’ll be okay.” I wrapped my arms around his middle.

  “I have money saved that I’ve been living on.” He said as I tightened my grip. “My parents said that they would help me until I can pull myself together, but so far its okay. I just want things like they were.” He looked down into my face now. I nodded and stood up on my toes to kiss him. I unbuttoned my blouse and pulled it off. My pants and pantyhose followed. I reached up and pulled his jacket over his shoulders letting it fall from his arms slowly. I folded it in half and laid it over the chair where his clothes were. He was pulling his shirt off and I went to him. I kissed his chest and pushed him backwards to the bed. I unfastened his pants and tugged them too easily over his lean hips. He sat and let me take them. I put them with the jacket. I went back and stood in front of him. I cupped his face in my hands and looked down into the inky blue eyes. “Dad says that I took advantage of you Mich. He said that I didn’t give you a chance to get to know me like a boyfriend. He said that I overlooked the most exciting part of a relationship. We know each other so well. I know what you’re thinking most of the time and you know me just as well. But he says that’s what friendship is all about, that I’m your buddy. He told me that you didn’t need a buddy, you needed a boyfriend and that I had to be one. So, that’s what I will be. He told me that once we’ve built that relationship, then I should ask you again to marry me. I got in too big of a hurry and I lost you. You used that Jenny thing as an excuse but the real problem was me rushing you. He thinks that’s why you fainted when I proposed. It was too much too fast. It’s why you acted the way you did even if you didn’t know it at the time. But he’s right Mich. I can see that it’s affected you too.” He let his fingertip glance over each of my visible ribs. “Do you understand?” I leaned down and kissed him slowly, sweetly, exploring.

  “Yes.” I finally answered. “And I think he has a pretty good idea of what went on. You guys are closer than you let on aren’t you?” Jamie let out a breath and nodded. “I’m glad. You need to get back to work though Jamie, you can’t use me as an excuse anymore. Okay?”

  “I know.” His hands were wandering over my flesh, heating it with want. “I’ll start looking.”

  “You need to do your laundry.” He nodded. “You need to clean your apartment.” He was kissing my belly, letting his tongue touch my skin tasting me. “You need a haircut and to trim your nails. You have to take care of yourself Jamie, whether I am around or not.” His brow furrowed worriedly. “I’m not saying it because I’m going somewhere.” I smoothed the deep wrinkle between his eyebrows with my thumbs. “I’m saying it for your own good. You have to take care of yourself, okay.” He nodded and pulled me down on the bed.

  Jamie and I made slow sweet love. We teased tasted and thrilled each other. I felt better about us, not anxious and not skittish anymore. We ended up spooning in our usual position completely satiated and happy with each other. My cell alarm went off way too early and I slipped from bed and showered. Jamie was dressed when I came out. He was sipping coffee and my mouth watered as soon as the familiar pod scent hit my nose. It was heaven in a cup. He handed mine over when he saw the look on my face. He chuckled. “I made a turkey sandwich for your lunch and I put an apple in the bag.” I grimaced over the rim of the cup. “Mich, where are your groceries? That fridge is bare. There’s only milk, turkey, bread, mustard and a box of cereal in there. Oh and a few frozen dinners. That’s the saddest little ice box I’ve ever seen. I saw a freezer in the furnace room but the damn thing is completely empty.”

  “Money’s tight now Jamie. I have two rents, a bigger truck payment and all the utilities. There’s nothing extra at the end of the month.” I said quietly. “It’s part of the reason I went out with Liam, it was a free dinner.” I inhaled sharply and exhaled as strongly. His arms were around me now, trying to soothe.

  “We’re so messed up right now.” He said into my hair. His cell rang and he pulled it out looking at the number and making a face. He answered it. “Hey Professor, how are you?” Jamie brightened. “Sure, I’d love to.” I watched him pace my living room. “I’m not at home. I’m already out and about sir. I would need to go home and put on a suit. I haven’t forgotten what you taught us.” A pause, I watched. “Are you sure sir?” He was smiling broadly now. “Yes sir, I am on my way.” Another pause. “Yes sir. I will see you in a few minutes.” He disconnected. “Robichaux wants me in his office in fifteen minutes.” Jamie’s smile was back, t
he big infectious one. “Wish me luck.”

  “For what?” I was lost now.

  “He’s going to introduce me to a few people and offer me a job. We’ll celebrate later?” I nodded and he hugged me again. “Let me out of the garage Mich.” I followed him out and pushed the button that raised the double door. Jamie backed out and sped off in the direction of my office. I went to the bathroom to get ready.

  When I arrived at the office, Jamie, Robichaux, two of the vice presidents and three other department heads were coming out of the conference room. They all seemed very happy with each other. Everyone except Jamie was in an expensive suit but he seemed at ease in his jeans with them. God he was pretty. Women all over the room watched him appreciatively. Robichaux took Jamie to his office and closed the door. I had Hannah keeping an eye out and timing the meeting. Around lunch time they came out and got on the elevator. Hannah kept me up to date. She was friends with Robichaux’s secretary and went over to gather intelligence to report back. I ate my turkey sandwich and apple. I sipped free coffee with it. I hadn’t lied to Jamie, money was extremely tight and I was hanging on by a thread. I had to cut every corner and cost that I could. I didn’t run my air conditioning in the truck or house. I had no cable and I took cool showers as much as I hated them. I only bought food that was on sale and very little of it. The frozen dinners had been a God send. They were on clearance for only two dollars each. If it hadn’t been for that sale, I would be living on tomato soup. Hannah took pity on me and bought the yogurt explaining that she had bought them from a warehouse store and couldn’t eat them all before they would expire. I knew what she was doing and I would pay her back when I could. When Hannah returned from her chat with Molly, Robichaux’s secretary she sat at her desk and sent me a text. “Call me into your office like you are angry about something.” I read it twice before I got up and went to my door way and snapped at her. “Hannah. Come in here please.” I said loudly turning a few heads. I went back inside my office and closed the blinds. She came in and closed the door.