For Finlay

by J. Nathan

  Dammit.

  “By all means.” Grady swept out his arm like he was a gentleman. His gaze slid to Sabrina as he swiftly morphed into another person all together. “And who do we have here?”

  She smiled, dazzling him with her beyond-white smile. “The beer bitch’s roommate. And if you even think about looking at us in there, I’ll replace your beer with pee. Now move.”

  The dude had the ability to crush opponents for breakfast—when he wasn’t being such a screw-up—but my hundred-pound roommate brought him to his knees. He stepped out of our way.

  “That was awesome,” I whispered over the music as we crossed the threshold and were out of Grady’s earshot.

  She shrugged. “The guy’s a douche.”

  I laughed, but the truth remained. I shouldn’t have been there. “Maybe I should just go.”

  “Are you kidding? You can’t leave me here,” she hissed back. “This is one of the first events I’ve been invited to by the sisters. I can’t not show.”

  I followed her down the hallway, glancing into the rooms. Football players and sorority girls with red cups milled around the scarce mismatched furniture. Apparently the athletic code of conduct’s No Alcohol policy was null and void when it came to team bonding. A few of the guys from the team lifted their cups in my direction. Feeling completely out of place, I smiled back as I followed Sabrina to the kitchen. People filled the small space, most surrounding the keg in a big bucket beside the refrigerator. I kept my eyes down, not wanting to run into—

  “Finlay?”

  Shit. I slowly lifted my gaze in the direction of his voice.

  Caden moved toward me with a cup in his hand. “What are you doing here?”

  His question tightened a knot in my stomach. He clearly didn’t want me there. Who could blame him? One minute I’m joking around with him, the next I hate him. I can barely tolerate myself when he’s around. “I can leave if—”

  “No. That’s not what I meant. I just didn’t think this was your scene.”

  I shrugged. “My roommate’s pledging a sorority. She was invited. I guess you’re pimping her out, too.”

  He laughed, his eyes flashing away in embarrassment. “You heard that part, huh?”

  I nodded. “The word pimp in any conversation perks up the ears.”

  “I’ll have to remember that,” he said before sipping his drink.

  We stood awkwardly for a minute. I glanced around at the girls on one side of the room and the guys on the other. It looked more like an eighth grade dance than what I envisioned a college party to be like. “So, are you waiting for them to get drunk or do you have another plan to start the bonding?”

  He shrugged. “Usually it’s just a free-for-all, especially with Forester here.”

  “He’s your roommate?”

  He nodded. “He had plans tonight which was good because I only invited the linebackers. Figured if he and the rest of the guys were here, there’d still be that divide.” His eyes swept the room. “But I don’t really know these guys off the field.”

  I glanced around the lifeless room, a definite contrast to the upbeat music blaring. It was gonna take a miracle to get these guys on the same page. “Get me a stack of cups,” I said to Caden.

  “Huh?”

  “Cups. I need a stack.”

  His apprehension told me he didn’t trust me. But he turned to the counter and grabbed a sleeve of red cups, handing them to me.

  I knew what was on the line if Caden didn’t deliver. The guys would continue to fight, remaining strangers on and off the field. And that would never work. The more we lost, the angrier everyone would get. And working for angry guys was no walk in the park. Besides, I was still an Alabama fan at heart. And my team needed to win.

  I walked over to the kitchen table where four linebackers squeezed into the chairs around it, emphasizing their massive sizes more so than on the field.

  “Hey, water girl,” Lemer said as I stepped in front of them.

  “Didn’t even recognize you with your hair down,” Miller added, the sleeves of tattoos wrapped around his massive biceps intimidating if you didn’t know what a softy he was.

  I smiled. “You guys up for a game of flip cup?”

  “Hell yeah,” Lemer said, as the others joined him, pushing back their chairs and standing, two on each side of the table.

  After lining the table with four cups on each side, I hurried to the keg and filled a cup which I used to fill each cup on the table with a couple inches of beer. I scanned the room for girls to play with them. I approached a few standing in the corner by the refrigerator. “Anyone wanna play flip cup?”

  Two of the girls walked to the table, introducing themselves and joining a team. The guys’ smiles were almost comical. But even with the girls, both teams still needed another player. I hurried down the hallway to find Sabrina who’d disappeared as soon as we got inside.

  A hand on my upper arm stopped me mid-step. I knew the hand. I’d felt it on my wet skin. And it wasn’t any less daunting in a house full of people. I steeled myself and looked over my shoulder.

  “Where are you going?” Caden asked.

  “They need two more players.”

  He shook his head. “I’ve got two.”

  My eyes shot around. “Yeah?”

  He nodded, amusement dancing in his eyes. “You and me.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Scared?”

  My head recoiled. “Of what?”

  He snickered. “Oh, I don’t know. Actually having fun? Letting loose?”

  “I have fun.” Nothing about what I said sounded convincing.

  He cocked his head.

  That just pissed me off. “Maybe I don’t like the company,” I said, fixing my chin in place.

  He scoffed. “Yeah, you keep saying that. But then we keep ending up in the same place.”

  I opened my mouth to respond.

  “Brooks, you playing?” Miller shouted.

  “Yup.” Caden said, staring at me with a giant grin. “So is Finlay,”

  “Who’s Finlay?” Jacobs, another teammate, asked.

  I raised my hand as I walked over to a vacant spot behind the cup at the end of the table. “Everyone’s favorite water girl.”

  Caden took the spot across from me staring me down with a satisfied smirk.

  The game started and the beer began flowing like water. Puddles were all over the table and floor. A couple times I nearly slipped as I worked to flip my cup before the other team. That just made me laugh louder than I already was. I had no idea what had gotten into me—besides a shitload of beer. But I wasn’t alone. Everyone else at the table was laughing and cheering just as loudly as they struggled to flip their cups right side up. Half the party, including Grady and Sabrina, had circled the table to watch and cheer along with us.

  “Water girl’s got this,” Miller chanted as I tossed down the beer then flipped my cup which kept falling on its side.

  “Shit,” I screeched. The harder I tried to flip it, the worse it got. It always came down to Caden and me, the two at the end of the table. I could see him across from me having just as much trouble.

  “Not this time, Finlay,” Caden warned as he flipped his cup unsuccessfully. “I’ve got this.”

  “Watch and learn, Brooks,” I laughed. “I’ve got skills you’ve never seen before.”

  “I don’t doubt it,” he said in an undertone. One I wasn’t even sure I’d heard in my quest to flip my cup faster than him.

  But I wouldn’t be distracted. I focused every bit of energy I had on flipping my stupid cup. My team cheered me on as my cup, after several failed attempts, finally landed right side up. I threw my hands up in the air. Miller, who played beside me, swept me up in his massive arms and spun me around. I laughed, but it did nothing for my head, already on the verge of spinning from so much alcohol. I glanced to Caden who continued to fumble with his cup across the table as everyone around us laughed and shouted.

/>   “Put her down, Miller,” Caden said, finally giving up on his cup that lay on its side.

  The room stopped spinning as Miller placed me back down on my feet. I grasped the wet surface of the table to regain my balance. “Thanks,” I mouthed to Caden.

  He shrugged, and for some reason, I couldn’t seem to tear my eyes from him. It was as if every sound and every person in that room had disappeared as I absorbed the details of his face. His blue eyes were so pretty, and they were still staring at me. I normally avoided his expressive eyes, worried what time spent with him would do to my head. But with liquor flowing freely through my veins, I just wanted to look for a little while longer. His eyes narrowed, and I wondered what he was thinking as he stared back at me. My breathing became shallow as I struggled to remember why I hated him so much. I tried with everything I had to conjure that image two years ago. His smile. His fist bump. His blatant disregard for my suffering. But it had become foggy, fleeting with each passing moment. My heartbeat sped as I fought to hold onto the image, but all I could think about was his hands on me in the pool.

  “Caden,” a female’s voice broke through my drunken mind’s ramblings, yanking my eyes away from him. Caden’s girlfriend stood in the doorway with her arms crossed, her eyes staring him down like a parent who’d caught her teenager throwing a raging party.

  Without hesitation, Caden stalked toward her, grabbed her cheeks and pulled her mouth to his.

  My stomach churned as he shoved his tongue down her throat for the room to see. “I’ll be right back,” I told my teammates as I took off unsteadily down the hallway to the bathroom. Luckily, I didn’t have to wait in line. I closed the door behind me and dropped down on the toilet with my pants still in place. I buried my face in my palms, trying to steady my labored breaths and pounding heart.

  Why the hell had I been enjoying myself? Why was seeing Caden kissing his girlfriend an unwelcome sight? Why was I there in the first place?

  A knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts. “Hold on,” I called, shaking my head and clearing away the uncertainty. I stood and braced my hands on the bathroom sink, staring into the mirror above it. My cheeks were flushed and, despite the sweat I’d felt while racing to win the stupid drinking game, my hair actually looked nice. I wondered if Caden noticed.

  Oh, hell no.

  I needed to get out of there. And I needed to get out of there fast. It was no place for a drunk me. I tore out of the bathroom with one mission in mind. Finding Sabrina. I found her, ironically enough, sitting with Caden’s girlfriend on the living room sofa.

  Her eyes lifted to mine, a hopeful smile spreading across her face. “Finlay. You did great in there. It looked like you were having fun.”

  My eyes jumped from Sabrina to Caden’s girlfriend, whose eyes bore into mine. I ticked my head toward the door as I glanced back to Sabrina. “I’m gonna head out.”

  She looked torn, as if I were asking her to choose and she wasn’t sure whether she should stay or go.

  “Don’t worry. You stay,” I assured her. “I’ll just see you back at the dorm.”

  I could see the indecision in her eyes.

  “I’m serious. I’ll be fine.”

  She didn’t look happy, but nodded nonetheless. We hadn’t known each other long, but she clearly saw it was time for me to go.

  I turned and headed out the front door, sucking in the fresh air as soon as I hit the porch. Some people sat out there concealed by darkness, their voices blending into the late night air. I made it down the front steps and onto the sidewalk with thoughts of the night’s events on my mind. I’d had fun. I’d laughed. I’d felt like a real college girl for the first time since arriving on campus.

  So why did I feel so guilty?

  It was as if I’d been betraying Cole by having fun. By spending time with his teammates. By forgetting my hatred for Caden.

  “Finlay.”

  My body jumped. I could hear Caden’s footsteps on the pavement behind me approach.

  “Where are you going?” He stepped in front of me causing me to stop.

  The sight of him out there—when he had a house full of people—did weird things to my head. I found it difficult to match his gaze. “You were right. This isn’t my scene.”

  He ducked his head to catch my eyes. “Weren’t you having fun?”

  Was it the uncertainty in his eyes? The hope that he wanted me stay? Or just my confusion over both? Because tears unexpectedly blurred my vision.

  “Don’t leave.” It came out so softly I couldn’t even be sure he’d said it.

  “What?”

  As if he’d surprised himself, his face sobered. “You were having fun,” he said, more detached and aloof, his eyes no longer on mine. “And you got the guys to have fun.”

  I stared at him, searching for the truth in his words. In his features. Was that the real reason he wanted me to stay? Had I just been his assistant for the night and nothing more? Were my confused feelings just one-sided? It was all too much—especially with my mind buzzed with alcohol. I knew enough to walk away. “I’ve got to get back to my dorm.”

  He dropped his gaze, and with pursed lips he nodded.

  “I’ll see you at practice.” I turned to walk away.

  “Wait.”

  I stopped, sucking in a deep breath.

  “Let me take you home.”

  I twisted back around to face him. “You’ve got a house full of people and I’ve got two feet.”

  He cocked his head, my stubbornness an apparent thorn in his side.

  “I’ll be back to the dorm in no time,” I assured him. “I’m fine.”

  He shot me a sad smile. “Promise me you’ll be aware of your surroundings.”

  I nodded, recalling our run-in on the quad and him feeling the need to reprimand me even then. “Always.”

  With that, I headed toward my dorm without looking back. I would’ve heard his footsteps if he followed me. He hadn’t. Why would he? He had a girlfriend.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Finlay

  “I can’t believe you’re leaving again,” Sabrina said as she walked in from her nightly shower.

  I glanced up from the clothes I’d packed into my overnight bag. I needed to hurry if I was going to catch the nine o’clock bus for the overnight trip to Arkansas—our third road trip in as many weeks. “Sounds like you’re gonna miss me?”

  Sabrina dropped down onto her bed. “Damn right I am. Good thing I have pledge stuff to occupy my time. Oh, did I tell you? I got my big sister.”

  “No.”

  “Yeah. It’s Leslie. The president.”

  “Caden’s Leslie?”

  She nodded, her eyes narrowing curiously. “Wait. Since when are you and Brooks on a first-name basis?”

  I turned back to my bag and continued packing. “Brooks. Caden. It’s whatever comes out.”

  “Uh-huh,” she said unconvinced.

  I shrugged. “Well, I’m happy for you.”

  “Yeah,” she said. “I heard the president doesn’t have to take a little sister. So I guess I’m honored she chose me. I didn’t even think she knew who I was. But we got talking at the party and really hit it off.”

  “She seems…nice?”

  “You don’t sound sure.”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know her. Caden seems to like her though.”

  “Yeah. She said they’re already looking at million dollar houses for when he goes pro next year.”

  “Oh.” An unwelcome pit formed in my stomach as I zipped up my overnight bag. Why were my feelings for him so freaking confusing? It should’ve been easy to keep hating him. But it had become harder with each passing day. It was as if he’d made up his mind and refused to allow me to.

  Damn him.

  * * *

  Yvette had yet to arrive as I settled into the aisle seat. I reached into my backpack to find my tablet.

  “Hey,” Caden said, stepping out of the aisle and pushing his big body in front of me so I h
ad to sit back.

  “What are you doing?”

  He dropped into the window seat beside me and flashed a devilish grin. “I need your help.”

  “Again?”

  He laughed. “And she’s cocky. Did I ever thank you for putting that game together at my house?”

  “It was nothing,” I said, my eyes jumping between him and the door. “Yvette will be here any minute.”

  “I’m sure Grady will give her a place to sit.”

  I pulled in a sharp breath. “Is something going on with them?”

  He reached down and unzipped his backpack. “The only time I see the guy half-way decent is when he’s talking to her. I should’ve invited her to my party.” He sat up, holding his binder. “And so you know,” he lowered his voice. “Coach gave me permission to sit here.”

  My brows pulled together. “Why?”

  He held up his binder. “I need you to quiz me.”

  “Why can’t Forester? He needs to know the plays, too.”

  “True…” His lips pulled up in one corner conspiratorially. “But he doesn’t smell as good as you.”

  I cocked my head. “I bet there are quite a few girls who’d beg to differ.”

  He glanced over his shoulder, presumably at Forester, our star wide receiver who could seriously stop traffic. But it was more than his obvious sculptured body and dimples that drew attention from…well from everyone. It was the arrogant way he carried himself. The way a mere look from him said, ‘Keep staring, ladies. I know I’m hot.’

  “You got a thing for my roommate?” Caden asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

  “What? Me? No.”

  He laughed, probably at the blush creeping into my cheeks. “Not into hot football players?”

  My eyes narrowed on his. “You do realize you just called him hot, right?”

  His low chuckle sent a slight vibration whizzing through me. “All right. I was joking. He smells fine.”

  “Now he’s fine?”

  He shook his head, probably at my inability to be the first one to back down from any sort of banter. “Fine.”