Miriam's Secret

by Jerry S. Eicher

  Wayne had asked instead, “So how do you like Oklahoma by now? And what of our community here?”

  “Shirley and I both love it out here. And the people too,” she’d replied.

  “I’m glad to hear that.” Wayne’s smile had been full of his usual warmth. “I hope you’ll be staying for a while yet.” Then he’d cast his gaze toward the ground. “Well, see you at the hymn singing tonight then.”

  “Sure. I’ll look forward to seeing you,” she answered.

  And they had parted ways.

  Miriam pulled her thoughts away from what had happened yesterday and focused on the letter from Mamm. With quick movements she rose and gathered up pen and paper from the dresser top. With a chair pulled in front of her for a desk, she sat on the bed and wrote.

  Dear Mamm,

  Greetings again. Both Shirley and I send you our regards and great affection. We read your letter with joy in our hearts. It’s often that we think of home and everyone there. I suppose Shirley is downstairs right now writing her own letter. I’m ensconced in my room for privacy. Seems like my thoughts come better when no one is around. I guess we were made differently.

  I hope Daett is finding the new farm a blessing. I know you didn’t mention much about this in your letter, and perhaps I shouldn’t either, but the subject is never far from my mind. I sometimes wish Mr. Bland hadn’t done what he did, but I know it can’t be helped. And would I really want that part of my life changed? I wonder sometimes if my heart has betrayed me. Maybe I chafed under Daett’s lectures about the evils of money. Maybe I even desired wealth. I hope none of this is true. I’ve talked to the Lord about it. If it is true, I ask you and Daett for forgiveness. Now that I have experienced a little of what the world calls success, I know for sure that Daett was absolutely right. We should be content with what we have and never want more.

  I don’t wish to speak ill of Shirley, but I think she’s struggled with that lesson, though she has learned much out here. The people here are so wunderbah. They teach us things without saying much. That’s another reason why we’re enjoying our stay so much, to say nothing of the great benefits they have been to us.

  Miriam paused and put the pen down. She stared at the wall. There was so much she wished to write but couldn’t. She wanted to spill her thoughts out on paper—the joy of Wayne’s attention and her sorrow over how money had affected her. But what would follow would not be beneficial, especially since she hadn’t told anyone about the cash inheritance. Mamm would never understand why Miriam had the two million dollars in the bank—if she even believed it was true. And then Mamm would wonder why Miriam hadn’t gotten rid of it by now. Someday she hoped to find someone she could talk to about anything and even confess the turmoil in her heart. Maybe it would be Wayne…if he asked her on a date or to be his frau. She certainly couldn’t marry a man and keep such a secret.

  Miriam sat up and grabbed the pen. Wayne hadn’t asked for a date, so she was being foolish in having such thoughts about him. Yet, she couldn’t help herself. And Wayne would make a wunderbah husband. She was convinced of the fact the more she saw of the man. Wayne would know what she should do about her money problem. Already a measure of trust welled up in her heart, which she considered a miracle. That she could even think about trusting another man with such a secret after Ivan Mast was the Lord’s doing.

  Miriam pushed the thoughts of Wayne and Ivan away and wrote rapidly. When she finished she signed the letter with a flourish: “With much love, Miriam.” There, that was done. Now for the other letter—the one to Ivan. She’d decided she needed to respond. She hadn’t planned to, and Shirley had advised against it, but Miriam knew she had to. It wasn’t decent not to let Ivan know her answer was no, she wasn’t interested.

  Miriam sighed. Someday she wouldn’t have to sneak around—once this money problem was solved. But for now anything that it touched seemed to produce ungodly fruit. Confession was what she needed most. Miriam squirmed and stared out the window. Her face softened moments later as she breathed a quick prayer: “Help me, please, dear Lord.” He will supply what she needed and guide her, Miriam reminded herself. And hopefully soon. She wrote with quick strokes on a fresh page.

  Dear Ivan,

  I don’t want a misunderstanding to remain between us. The truth is that I will never return your affection. I don’t hold anything against you. There was a time when I would have rejoiced to hear such words from you, but that time has passed. Any chance of a relationship between the two of us is over. I hope you understand.

  Miriam

  P.S. Hopefully there are no hard feelings between us.

  She shouldn’t have added that last line, Miriam thought, but it was too late now. Ivan would see the scribbles if she crossed out the words, and she didn’t want to rewrite the whole letter. Let Ivan think what he would. He should be thankful she’d even responded to such a letter as his was. But she was glad she had. It was the right thing to do. Now to get the letter out to the mailbox without the household knowing about it.

  Miriam jumped when Aunt Fannie called up the stairs. “There’s someone here to see you, Miriam.”

  Had Wayne arrived to ask her home on a Sunday evening date? How appropriate that would be after writing to Ivan. Maybe this was what the Lord had waited on—the moment when she made things right in her past. How else could this coincidence be explained? She’d only written the final words to Ivan just seconds before. Miriam drew in a deep breath, gathered up the correspondence, and headed downstairs.

  Aunt Fannie met her at the bottom of the stairs. “Deacon Phillip is here. He’s waiting for you out on the front porch.”

  “Deacon Phillip?” The living room swam before Miriam’s eyes. “I haven’t done anything wrong that I know of.”

  Aunt Fannie laughed. “Silly you. Nobody said you did anything wrong.”

  But I was expecting Wayne. The words almost slipped out.

  Aunt Fannie pointed toward the front door as if Miriam didn’t know which way to go.

  Shirley, sitting at a desk and writing a letter, gave Miriam a sympathetic glance as she walked past. Did Shirley know what was going on? Miriam pasted on a smile as she stepped outside. She barely knew the deacon. She’d seen him sitting on the ministers’ bench each Sunday, of course. He was a young man, recently married. He now turned toward her with a friendly look.

  “I hope I’m not disturbing you tonight, Miriam.”

  “Of course not.” Miriam steadied herself against the porch railing with one hand.

  “Maybe you want to sit?” The deacon motioned toward one of the rocking chairs.

  Miriam shook her head. She felt better on her feet at the moment—whatever this visit was about.

  Deacon Phillip coughed. “I’ll keep this short. I hope I don’t shock you with our request. You may find it unexpected.”

  “Request?”

  “Yah. The school board met last week, and they asked if I would come and speak with you.” Deacon Phillip let a small grin creep across his face. “The others said they were too busy this week to come, so here I am.”

  “What would they want from me?” Miriam asked.

  “I know this is short notice, but…” Deacon Phillip smiled. “Well, we’d like you to consider teaching our community’s school this term. It starts in a few weeks.” A nervous laugh escaped his lips. “I don’t know what we’ll do if you say no, but I’ll say this much. The school board thought of asking you the first week you arrived, but we didn’t want to rush into anything. And we wished to observe your life. I did write Bishop Wagler in Possum Valley for his recommendation of you.” Deacon Phillip lowered his head. “I hope you’re not offended.”

  “No, not in the least, but…” Miriam groped for what to say. “This is…such a surprise…and…well, an honor.” She paused. “I’m curious as to what Bishop Wagler had to say. I know I’m not perfect…”

  Deacon Phillip chuckled. “You don’t have to worry on that matter. Bishop Wagler had only glowing pr
aise for you, Miriam. He seemed to think highly of your daett and your entire family. So what do you think? Will you teach for us?”

  Miriam clutched the handrail. “I’ve never taught before.”

  “You seem to have the maturity the job needs.” Deacon Phillip’s tone was encouraging. “You would have to commit to staying a year out here, at least until next May.”

  “I understand.” Miriam paused again. “I never expected this. I’ve never thought about me as a teacher.”

  Deacon Phillip said, “Sometimes that attitude makes for the best teachers, Miriam. Pride is an awful thing to have in one’s heart.”

  Pride. What would the deacon say if he knew she had a secret bank account with two million dollars in it? And that she’d not even told her family about it. Miriam pushed those thoughts away. She wouldn’t pass up this chance to work.

  “I need to pray about this, but I think I’ll do it.” The words came out a whisper. “And thank you for asking.”

  “I think we owe you thanks.” Deacon Phillip chuckled. “You’ll make great teacher, Miriam. A really great one!”

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Shirley stared out the window at Deacon Phillip’s retreating buggy. “What on earth did he want?” she asked Miriam, who was back inside and sitting on the couch.

  “She’s probably excommunicated already,” Uncle William teased. He laid his copy of The Budget on his lap with a smile on his face.

  “Don’t joke about such things!” Aunt Fannie scolded mildly from the kitchen doorway. Baby Jonathon was in her arms, and at that moment he released a loud wail.

  “See, there’s trouble in the air.” Shirley went over to sit beside Miriam. “Now, tell us all about it.”

  “I’m sure there was only gut news,” Uncle William offered, although he appeared puzzled by the visit as well.

  “Are you going to tell us?” Shirley prompted.

  “They want me to teach at the school this term.”

  “Teach?” Comprehension slowly dawned on Shirley.

  “That is wunderbah news!” Aunt Fannie said, taking her seat in her rocker with a now-quiet Jonathon on her lap.

  Uncle William glowed. “Seems the community has accepted you just fine—and you too, Shirley.” He nodded in Shirley’s direction before turning again to Miriam. “I’d say this is quite an honor.”

  Shirley still stood by the window. “Miriam hasn’t said whether she accepted.”

  Miriam stood up. “I told them I’d pray about it but likely accept. But I can change my answer if you object.”

  Shirley’s smile was a bit forced. “I don’t want to teach, if that’s what you’re asking. And this is a great honor for you. Why would I object?”

  “There’s no reason to object,” Uncle William spoke up. “This is a great compliment.”

  “And it speaks well of you too,” Miriam said to Shirley, Aunt Fannie, and Uncle William.

  Shirley didn’t seem to hear as she turned her attention to the window again. “Another buggy just pulled into the driveway,” she announced. “I wonder who it is? Oh, Wayne Yutzy, of all people.”

  “What could he want?” Aunt Fannie asked, patting the baby on his back.

  Miriam knew what Wayne wanted. And now that the moment had arrived, her body felt numb. Hadn’t she expected and looked forward to this visit?

  “I expect I know what he wants,” Uncle William said with a little grin on his face.

  Aunt Fannie glanced at him. “Of course! What’s wrong with me. And the house such a mess. What are we going to do?”

  “Well, I guess I’m not needed for the evening.” Shirley turned and headed for the upstairs.

  Miriam stood and stopped Shirley with a touch on her arm. “Please, Shirley. I don’t want you to be upset.”

  Shirley met Miriam’s gaze. “I know. And I didn’t mean that remark to sound as short as it did. Just give me some time, and I’ll be okay.”

  Miriam hesitated.

  Shirley smiled and gave Miriam a gentle push toward the front door. “Don’t pass up your chance at happiness, Miriam.” Then Shirley went up the stairs with quick steps.

  Miriam watched her until she disappeared through her bedroom doorway. Shirley would be okay. They would talk more later. Right now she needed to focus on Wayne. She went out the front door and stood on the porch. She noticed Wayne already had his horse tied and was halfway to the house. She stepped out and met him at the bottom of the steps. With a bright smile she said, “Gut evening, Wayne. What a surprise.”

  “I like surprises,” Wayne answered, matching Miriam’s smile. “I hope you do.”

  Miriam retreated a step. “We can sit on the front porch, if you’d like.”

  Wayne didn’t answer as he glanced down the road. “Did I just pass Deacon Phillip’s buggy?”

  Miriam didn’t hesitate. “He was here. I’m to be excommunicated next Sunday.”

  Wayne blinked twice. “Say again?”

  Miriam laughed. “That was Uncle William’s joke. Sorry.”

  “Now you’re trying to scare me.” A grin spread slowly across his face. “So what did the deacon want? Is Uncle William in trouble?”

  “Nee.” Miriam took a seat on a front porch rocker. “He came with an offer for me to teach school here this term.”

  Wayne’s face lit up. “That’s great! An excellent idea, if I must say so myself. You’ll be awesome.”

  “Awesome? Don’t you think that’s a bit too much? I’ll settle for gut.”

  “Not from what I know of you and your sister.” Wayne settled into the other chair. “I’d say you’re being taken right into the community. I think Oklahoma has been waiting for you.”

  Miriam lowered her head. Praise and attention were still so new to her. And now Wayne Yutzy was sitting on the front porch with her. If pride hadn’t already crept into her heart, it might arrive now.

  Wayne continued as if he hadn’t noticed her reaction. “People have been saying so many nice things about you. I’m not surprised that the school board has asked you to teach.”

  “They probably didn’t have anyone else.”

  Wayne laughed. “It is a little late in the summer, so maybe that’s partly true. But don’t let that deceive you. We don’t just settle for anyone, especially when it comes to teaching our children.”

  “That’s a comfort to know.” Miriam heard the thrill in her voice because his words brought comfort…great comfort.

  Wayne glanced her way. “I’m sure you passed the interview with flying colors.”

  “Not everything is always like it seems,” Miriam said, as thoughts of her inheritance flashed through her mind.

  As if he understood her thoughts, Wayne said, “I have to give you credit. You haven’t flaunted your financial status either. We’ve all heard about the farm you inherited and gave to your parents.”

  Miriam took a deep breath. “Yah. Mr. Bland’s farm.” Hopefully her face hadn’t gone red. “I figured people knew, but I try not to think about it.”

  Wayne nodded. “That speaks to your gut character, I’m sure. Would you mind sharing a little of the experience with me? I hope you don’t think that’s forward, but I’d like to know.”

  Miriam glanced down at her hands. “I’d be glad to.” A measure of relief flooded her. Wayne cared about her. He really did or he wouldn’t want to know her history. He wanted to know the details of how things had gone down. He wasn’t asking because he wanted her money. Tears stung her eyes. Someday she would tell Wayne the entire truth, but for now she’d answer his questions and see how it felt. The Lord understood her heart and knew she didn’t wish to deceive anyone. She just needed to be cautious. She hadn’t asked to receive the land and money from Mr. Bland or to walk this road of riches. It was a different path from any she’d ever imagined. Was she to be blamed if she faltered or didn’t do everything right?

  Miriam found her voice again as Wayne waited patiently. “I liked Mr. Bland a lot. I worked for him as his caregive
r for a few years before he died…during the daytime, of course. He was a kind old man, and I enjoyed working for him. I had no idea he planned to leave me anything when he passed on. In fact, Mamm and I expected him to live for many more years. It wasn’t like he was sick or couldn’t take care of himself. He was alone at night, and his sister, Rose, took care of him on the weekends. Well, most weekends. I primarily cleaned the house, fixed meals, and visited with him.” Miriam paused to catch her breath. “And then he died one morning. Unexpectedly…on the front porch. I’d taken him out for a breath of fresh air and then went into the kitchen to fix breakfast. We were the only people there at the time.” Miriam hesitated. “Mr. Bland dreamed of his wife the night before. She’d passed on years earlier, but he told me he’d seen her again. Maybe she came for him…with the angels. He was Englisha. He was also a gut man, so I’m sure the Lord took care of him.”

  Wayne was listening intently. “I’m sure the Lord did if He sent you to care for him.”

  “You shouldn’t say that.” Miriam felt the blood rush up her neck. Why did Wayne say such nice things? Should she be blunt and just ask the question on her heart? Yah, she should and just get it over with. She gave Wayne a searching look. “I know you like me, and I like you. We haven’t dated, but I know you’re interested. I have to ask because I’ve discovered it does make a difference to some people. Although I’ve given the farm to my daett, he intends to give it back to me when I marry. You’re not here because I will have a farm someday…are you?”

  Wayne smiled and didn’t look offended. He chuckled before saying, “I haven’t really thought about such things, but I guess I can see where that might be an advantage to the man who manages to win your hand in marriage.” He colored slightly. “Do I have to solidify my intentions this early in the game? We don’t know each other that well, and I haven’t even said yet what I came for.”

  Miriam smiled although her face was still red. This gut man was blameless, and she’d done nothing more than stick her foot in her mouth.