Miriam's Secret

by Jerry S. Eicher

Wayne obviously relaxed as he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry if I’ve given you cause to suspect my character.”

  Miriam looked at him. “I think I’m the one to apologize. You haven’t given me cause. Back home I ran into that problem, so I guess I’m a little hesitant.”

  Wayne’s voice was gentle. “Maybe you’d best move on with your story.” He shifted on his chair. “So did you attend this Mr. Bland’s funeral?”

  Miriam nodded. “With his sister, Rose. She picked me up.”

  “That was nice of you.” Silence fell again, until Wayne reached for her hand and gave a quick squeeze. “I’m glad you found your way out here to Oklahoma, Miriam.”

  Miriam’s heart pounded. “So am I.”

  A smile spread across Wayne’s face. “Then our feelings are mutual.”

  Miriam choked a bit as she admitted, “To be completely honest, I guess my motives for coming to Oklahoma weren’t all that pure. I was running away from problems at home.” She wanted to tell him why she’d been so reluctant.

  Wayne shrugged. “I suppose we all have them.”

  Words continued to spill out. “Did you ever have an old girlfriend who rejected you, and then she wanted to start over when she found out you’d inherited a nice farm?”

  Wayne grimaced. “No. Is that what happened to you?”

  Miriam held back her tears. “Yah. Ivan began dating someone else. But when Mr. Bland died and left me the farm, he wanted me back.”

  “Do you still care for him? Do you want him back?”

  “Nee!” Miriam exclaimed. “I don’t. Really, I don’t. But he was…” She paused. This talk was getting more serious than she was ready for. She tried again. “Anyway, I thought it would be gut to come here for a fresh start. The Lord opened the doors for us to help Aunt Fannie with her new baby. It’s been good for Shirley too. I don’t wish myself back in Possum Valley at all. Not for one moment. I like everything about Oklahoma, about the community, about…” Miriam stopped suddenly. Wayne knew what she’d almost said. She could tell by the look on his face. And his response was all she could have hoped for.

  His hand reached across the space between them and touched her arm again. This time his hand rested on hers and stayed there.

  She felt the gentleness in his touch. She didn’t move or even dare to breathe.

  His gaze sought hers, and she met his look.

  “I didn’t come over here tonight to talk about farms and former flames.” His voice revealed sweet tenderness. “I’d like to bring you home from the hymn singing on Sunday night, if that’s all right with you.” His look was open and expectant. “The Lord has brought you out here, Miriam. And He’s opened my heart to you. All these years I’ve never dated or even asked a girl home from a hymn singing. But now I feel He’s telling me the time has come. So, please, Miriam, don’t say no.”

  Like she could do that! Miriam almost laughed at the thought. She would never say no to dating this man. Not in a million years. And her secrets would be safe with him. Someday she’d tell him everything—when the right time came. Until then, the love budding within her heart for Wayne would continue to grow.

  “Yah,” Miriam whispered. “I would be greatly honored to have you bring me home on Sunday evening.”

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Thursday morning Miriam awoke before the first signs of dawn had broken through the eastern sky. Uncle William had asked her to help in the greenhouse today. That meant she would see Wayne, and they might have a chance for a few words together—in between their work, of course. Work couldn’t suffer because that wouldn’t be right. The chairman of the school board, Ezra Mullet, planned to stop early this morning with more details on the teaching job. Miriam hurried to dress and then rushed down to the kitchen where the kerosene lamp had been lit and set on the table.

  Aunt Fannie glanced up at her. “What are you doing up so early?”

  Miriam groaned. “I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I might as well make breakfast. I’m sure you have plenty of things to do, so you won’t mind.”

  “You’re still all atwitter over Wayne asking to bring you home after the hymn singing. That’s what this is about, isn’t it?” Aunt Fannie asked knowingly.

  “I guess so,” Miriam agreed. If her aunt only knew how atwitter she was! She was looking forward to this morning and to the planned Sunday evening with Wayne.

  Aunt Fannie regarded Miriam for a moment. “You are atwitter…or troubled. I can’t tell which. Surely you and Wayne didn’t have a falling out all ready.”

  “Oh, no. It’s not that!”

  Aunt Fannie appeared relieved. “Confusion comes and goes when you’re in love, so don’t worry about how it will go.”

  “I’ll try not to,” Miriam agreed.

  “Gut!” Aunt Fannie touched Miriam on the shoulder as if to give her courage before leaving the kitchen. “And thank you for making breakfast.”

  Miriam smiled. Aunt Fannie didn’t understand the full extent of her predicament, but she was supportive. Wayne had offered Miriam love with an open and honest hand, and Miriam was accepting it—but also keeping a huge secret from him. When should she tell Wayne about the money? It was still early in their relationship. She didn’t have the courage to confess because she was afraid the love and adoration in his eyes might vanish or be tainted by the knowledge. So the miserable secret would have to remain that way until Wayne had asked to wed her—if he did. And maybe she’d even wait until they’d said the sacred vows together. She would surprise him then. What a wedding present! Wouldn’t any husband appreciate waking up the morning after his wedding and finding out his frau had substantial funds in a bank account?

  Miriam placed a pan on the stove for the eggs. There was no hurry to get started on breakfast, but at the moment she wanted the distraction. If she didn’t slow down, breakfast would be ready and cold long before the family’s usual time to eat. Indeed, she was all atwitter, she decided. She’d have to trust the Lord and leave romance plans in His capable hands.

  “What are you up to?” Shirley’s voice broke into Miriam’s thoughts.

  Miriam jumped before whispering, “Hush, you’ll wake the house.”

  Shirley came into the kitchen. “What’s gotten into you anyway?”

  “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m getting ready to fix breakfast.”

  “I can see that.” Shirley frowned. “But it’s early—even for you.”

  I’ve been thinking of Wayne, Miriam almost admitted. She stopped herself. Shirley had spoken very little about Wayne since Monday night. Miriam had tried several times to share about him, but Shirley always changed the subject. Was this quiet time in the early morning hours an opportunity for a sisterly heart-to-heart? She took a quick breath. “Shirley, can we talk about…about what we’ve been avoiding since Monday? About what’s bothering you?”

  Shirley paused by the kitchen sink. “I’ve been struggling with how much the community has accepted you, including Wayne, and now they’ve offered you the teaching position. I’m glad for you. I’m sure you’ve sensed that, haven’t you?”

  “Yah.” Miriam waited.

  “I am glad for you. I think it’s wunderbah. I just feel left out.” Shirley fiddled with the empty dish-drainer rack. “I would take the chance you’re being given in a heartbeat. I told you Monday night not to pass this up. But in my heart I wonder why I’m not receiving blessings from the Lord too.”

  “But you are! You are blessed. You’ve always been.”

  “That’s what I used to think. But look at my state now.” Shirley’s tone was mournful. “And right in the middle of a community that is so gut. I can’t seem to become part of things here. I want to, but I don’t seem to really fit.”

  “Maybe it’s not your fault. Maybe…” Miriam searched for the right words. What she wanted to say was, Maybe the Lord is bringing correction to your life. But that didn’t sound kind and wouldn’t be encouraging. It might even come across as prideful since everything was
going so well regarding her situation.

  “I want to live a godly life.” Shirley stared out the window at the dark horizon. “I’ve always wanted to. I knew that running around with Jonas wasn’t right, but still I did it because it was so fun, and enjoyable, and exciting. I broke it off to come here and hopefully find God’s blessing on my life. But what I’ve found is…well, it’s boring. No eligible men seem interested in me, especially not like Wayne does to you. Even Mahlon Troyer, who doesn’t have a fraction of the money Jonas has, thinks me worthy of a mere hello. Do you understand what I’m saying, Miriam?”

  “I do, but I’m at a loss regarding what advice to offer,” Miriam admitted. “I don’t know what to say. I’m no saint, and I never expected to be blessed this way.”

  “I am thrilled for you.” Shirley gave Miriam a quick hug. “It’s just hard to watch when I feel like I’m standing outside in the cold, that’s all. And now you’re going to be a schoolteacher. I wish some excitement would come along in my life.”

  “You’d better not wish for my troubles, sister. You don’t know the half of what I’m dealing with.”

  Shirley’s smile was weak. “I suppose I don’t. But thanks for listening and trying to understand, at least.”

  “I wish I could do more for you,” Miriam said as she turned back to the stove.

  There were faint noises coming from the downstairs bedroom, so Uncle William would be out soon to eat an early breakfast. Shirley set the table. Uncle William’s cheerful face soon appeared in the kitchen doorway, followed by the rest of his body as he came in. “What kind of service have we got here? Breakfast already?”

  Miriam wrinkled her face. “Yah, it’s a little early, I know.”

  “The better to begin the day!” Uncle William didn’t appear disappointed. He vanished, only to reappear with his Bible. With a flourish he pulled out a kitchen chair and sat down. His lips moved as he scanned some of the pages. Aunt Fannie entered the kitchen. She squeezed his shoulders, and the two exchanged loving smiles.

  Miriam transferred the skillet of bacon to the table, along with the eggs. “Everybody sit down, and we can eat.”

  Aunt Fannie’s face beamed. “My, my, I feel like a queen in my own house!”

  “You don’t mind an early breakfast then?” Miriam asked.

  “Not at all,” Aunt Fannie assured her. “But that doesn’t mean you have to do this every morning.”

  Uncle William laughed. “It would be nice though.”

  Aunt Fannie playfully slapped him on the arm. “You’ll have the girls believing that, so quit it.”

  They were all laughing as Miriam and Shirley took their seats. Uncle William led out in prayer:

  Now unto You, oh God, the great Creator of heaven and earth, be glory and honor and praise. Mighty are Your works, and everlasting is the strength of Your arm. Remember now Your children and the creation of Your hands as we forget not Your lovingkindness toward us. Give us power this day to walk in Your will and wisdom to understand the guiding of Your Holy Spirit. Forsake us not and then call us home to the glories of Your heaven.

  Bless also the food that Miriam and Shirley have prepared. Bless their willing hands and hearts. Remember them with favor and grace. Do likewise to those of our families who stand in need today. Give us of Your abundance, for which we give You deep and heartfelt thanks. Amen.

  “Amen,” the others echoed. Shirley helped Miriam pass the food as silence settled over the table. The quiet moments of the early morning hour gave one a peace and tranquility in the midst of the rush of the day that would soon be upon them.

  When they finished eating, Uncle William opened the Bible and began to read from Psalm 8: “O LORD our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth!…When I consider the heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; what is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?”

  Miriam could understand that sentiment. Why was she experiencing all these blessings from the Lord? Why wasn’t Shirley? Was there something she could do to help and encourage her sister?

  “O LORD our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth!” Uncle William concluded and closed his Bible. A hush settled over the table.

  It was broken when Aunt Fannie bounced to her feet. “No sense in daylight a’wasting.”

  “I’ll do the dishes,” Miriam offered.

  “You’ll do no such thing.” Aunt Fannie sent Miriam off with a wave of her hand. “Shirley will help me because you’re helping in the greenhouse. Get on outside and start your day.”

  Uncle William grinned from the kitchen doorway. “I’ll put her to work, don’t worry about that.”

  “Not too much work,” Aunt Fannie said as she shook her finger at him.

  He laughed.

  Uncle William would do nothing of the sort, Miriam thought as she followed him out the front door. As she suspected, they were only a few feet away from the house when he told her, “Take five or ten minutes and enjoy the beautiful morning. I’ll be in the greenhouse getting things started.”

  Miriam cleared her throat. “Those were wunderbah words you read this morning. Thank you.”

  “They also spoke to me.” Uncle William gave Miriam a kind look before he turned, walked to the greenhouse, and then disappeared inside.

  Miriam had returned his look and now continued to stroll. Her uncle knew more than he let on, she decided. He might even have chosen those words especially for her this morning. The thought sent warmth through her heart. She didn’t deserve any of the blessings God was raining down on her life right now. But then she supposed no one really did. They were blessed by God because of His great mercy and grace.

  With slow steps Miriam moved among the greenery lined up along the side of the greenhouse. The sun had peeked over the horizon, but the dew still lay heavy on everything. She touched the wetness with her fingers and tasted the moisture. This was water from heaven that the Lord gave. Her soul had been blessed this morning with the Word of God and His creation. Like the thirsty ground and water, she’d soaked in the Word’s sweetness. Surely before long there would be answers to her problems. Eventually, if they continued dating, she would tell Wayne about the money. And after that, even if Wayne was the saint she expected him to be and said the money didn’t mean a lot to him and wouldn’t change his plans—there was still…well, what to do with the money. What would they do with such a large sum? She hadn’t forgotten her daett’s many warnings about the corrupt influence money had on people’s souls.

  Miriam lifted her face toward the sun and shielded her eyes from its brightness. She didn’t know the answers to her questions…and perhaps she didn’t wish to know because then she’d have to make some difficult decisions.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Thirty minutes later Miriam was watching from inside the greenhouse as Wayne’s buggy pulled into the driveway. She shouldn’t hide here like a sneaky child, Miriam told herself. But the thought of her secret and telling Wayne about it had caused her heartbeat to accelerate. If Wayne saw her with this flushed face, he’d think she was ill.

  Thankfully Uncle William was at the other end of the building and hadn’t seen this acute tension attack that had gripped her. Perhaps if she hurried out and helped Wayne unhitch he would attribute her appearance to her rush to lend a hand. She forced herself to run outside, but slowed down when Wayne caught sight of her. His face lit up with a cheerful smile. “Gut morning, teacher!” he hollered from where he’d parked by the barn.

  “Gut morning!” she called.

  As she approached, Wayne was busy with a stubborn tug. He didn’t seem to notice anything different about her.

  “Stuck!” he muttered. Seconds later the leather piece came off with a jerk. Wayne laughed. “See? You fixed the problem just by walking up. Your grace flowed right over me and solved the problem.”

  “I did no such thing!” Miriam retorted with a half smile. “And you embarrassed m
e with that teacher stuff. I haven’t even taught my first class.”

  Wayne grinned. “Maybe, but that’s still my opinion. So let’s not quarrel this early in the morning, seeing as we get to work together all day.”

  “Suits me.”

  Miriam waited while Wayne took his horse into the barn. She should get busy before he returned, but she was rooted to the ground. What if she followed Wayne around all day unable to think of anything except telling him about the money? But really, she shouldn’t tell Wayne on Uncle William’s time while they were at work. Such a startling revelation needed time to be absorbed and responded to, all of which couldn’t be done while Wayne focused on work. But how could she look forward to Sunday evening with Wayne with this cloud of secrecy still over her head? Or even getting through today. She wanted to enjoy Wayne’s teases and light chatter. And she would! The Lord would help her. She must forget about the money for now.

  Wayne appeared again. He closed the barn door and walked toward her with quick steps. Miriam rubbed her face with both hands and smiled. “Got your horse all tucked in and tidy for the day?”

  Wayne gave her a quick grin. “Yep. I’m ready for work. You didn’t have to wait for me.”

  “I wanted to.” Together they walked toward the greenhouse. She couldn’t seem to stem her voice around Wayne. She chattered away, the words coming out in what seemed to her a torrent. She didn’t dare glance at his face as she continued on about the weather, the morning, and anything else that popped into her mind. Be quiet! she told herself to no avail.

  As they neared the doorway, Miriam finally stemmed the flow of words.

  Wayne paused, and his words stopped her short.

  “I’m looking forward to Sunday evening,” he said.

  Miriam reached for the doorframe with one hand to steady herself. “So am I, Wayne. But there’s something I have to tell you then. Something important.”

  “Deep, dark secrets.” His grin was broad.

  Obviously he had no idea how deep and dark her secrets were. “Maybe,” Miriam managed. “I’m sorry for bringing it up here. I know we have work to do.”