Heart Of A Cowboy

by Margaret Daley

  “Child, you’re gonna need a forklift to pick that thing up.” Granny waved her hand toward the wicker basket.

  “Didn’t you tell me the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach?”

  “That I did. That’s how I got your grandpa. Now with Doug, he cooks as good as I do. It’s kinda nice having a man cook for me. In fact, we’ve got a date tonight.”

  “You two are getting mighty serious.”

  “We don’t have the luxury of a long-drawn-out courtship. Time is a-ticking.” Granny snapped her fingers several times as she spoke. “Remember that, child. You don’t have the luxury, either. You and your young man have been apart long enough. Nicholas needs a whole family.”

  “I’m thinking about it.”

  “So where are you going today?”

  “To Miller Falls.”

  “Ah, good thinking. Very romantic.”

  That was what she was counting on. Miller Falls was one of the places they had gone to as teenagers. It held special memories for her, and she hoped for Zachary, too. If there was to be anything between them, maybe they would discover it there.

  The doorbell chimed. Jordan hefted the basket from the table, leaned down and kissed Granny on the cheek then started toward the foyer. “Have a great time with Doug.”

  Granny chuckled. “I will. And when I get back this evening, I want to hear all about your date.”

  At the entrance into the kitchen Jordan glanced at her grandmother. “Shh. Don’t say that. It’s not a date.”

  “Keep telling yourself that and maybe you’ll really believe it.”

  By the time she reached the foyer, Nicholas had opened the door and let Zachary inside. “Are we going to practice tomorrow during our riding lesson for HHH Junior Rodeo?”

  “Yep. We have only a week to go.” Zachary tousled his son’s hair.

  Jordan set the heavy basket on the tile floor. “Don’t forget your assignment for anatomy class. Aunt Rachel will be taking you this afternoon.”

  “I’ve already done it.” He swung back to Zachary. “Dad, don’t leave yet. I’ve got something for you.” He raced up the stairs.

  “Do you know what?” Zachary asked.

  “You’ve never been good about surprises.”

  “You aren’t, either.”

  “I’ve got a pretty good idea, but I’m not telling.”

  He frowned but didn’t put much into the expression. “Is where we’re going a surprise?”

  She gestured toward the basket at her feet. “We’re going on a picnic.”

  “Where?”

  “Sorry. My lips are sealed.”

  Nicholas hurried down the stairs with a manila envelope in his hand. When he gave it to Zachary, her son thrust his shoulders back and lifted his chin. “I wrote this.”

  Zachary started to open the envelope.

  “No, read it later.” A blush stained her child’s cheeks.

  “Okay,” Zachary said slowly, glancing between them. “Are you ready?”

  She nodded.

  He picked up the basket and stepped out onto the porch.

  When she joined him outside, she stopped him with a hand on his arm. “I’m driving.”

  “Are you going to blindfold me, too?”

  “What a great idea! Then where we’re going will really be a surprise. Let me go back inside—” she pivoted toward the front door “—and get a scarf to use.”

  “By the time you get back out here, I’ll be halfway down the street heading home.”

  With both hands on her hips, she faced him. “You aren’t playing fair.”

  “I really don’t like surprises.”

  “Okay, no blindfold, but I’m still driving.”

  “Then you’ll have to use my truck. It’s parked behind yours in the driveway.” He descended the porch steps and tied down the basket in the back of his pickup.

  When Jordan approached the driver’s door, he tossed her the keys and rounded the front to slide into the passenger’s seat. She backed out onto the street and headed toward the highway outside of town.

  “You’re the first person I’ve let drive my truck.”

  “I am?” She glanced at his white-knuckled grip on the handhold above the side window.

  “Yep, and I still have two years of payments left on it.”

  She laughed. “Are you, in your not-so-subtle way, telling me I better not have a wreck?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Then why did you let me drive?” The idea he had warmed her.

  “I thought it was time.”

  At a stop sign, she fixed her attention fully on Zachary. “Time for what?”

  “To give you a little trust.”

  “With your truck?”

  “With my life.”

  Their gazes locked together. Jordan couldn’t look away. Her throat contracted, and suddenly she wished they were anywhere but on a road waiting to pull out onto the highway. A blare of a horn behind her startled her. She dragged her attention away from Zachary and faced forward.

  “To reassure you, I haven’t had a wreck or a ticket. I’m a very good driver, but if I remember correctly when we were going together, you had one wreck and two tickets for speeding.”

  “But not in years. I’m a changed man.”

  Yes, he was different. More serious. Reserved. And when she caught a certain glimpse of Zachary when he wasn’t looking, she saw a hint of tragedy in his eyes. Was she the one who had put it there? Or was it someone or something else?

  After traveling five minutes north on the highway, Zachary said, “I know where we going. The south end of Prairie Lake.”

  “Nope.”

  She continued past the entrance to the park he mentioned. Another ten minutes and she turned down a narrow two-lane road.

  “Miller Falls,” Zachary murmured almost as if to himself.

  “Yep. I thought it would be nice to visit somewhere we had good times at. We didn’t just date. We were friends. I want us to capture that again.”

  “Is that the truth?”

  The skepticism in his question hurt. “Yes. Part of the reason we broke up eleven years ago was because we stopped communicating with each other. We both got wrapped up in our own world and forgot the other’s. You spent that last summer going to rodeos, and I went to the Sooner Art Institute for a month.”

  “I remember. We saw each other in passing until the middle of August. I was trying to make some money to help us get started.”

  “I know but every time you rode in the ring I could hardly breathe until you were finished. There were times I wouldn’t even watch. As you got more and more involved in bull riding, I got more scared.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything to me?”

  Jordan pulled into a small gravel parking lot not far from the creek and waterfall. Angling toward Zachary, she looked right at him. “Because you loved doing it. I didn’t want to be the one to take that away from you. I thought if I got away and could get some perspective on our situation it would be okay.”

  “Then we fought and broke up.”

  “You didn’t understand my art and I didn’t understand your need to participate in rodeos. I didn’t like football, but I would have preferred you taking that football scholarship offered to you.”

  One corner of his mouth lifted. “Don’t tell anyone around here, but I didn’t care that much about playing football. I certainly didn’t want to in college.”

  “No, your heart was somewhere else. So why didn’t you just go on the rodeo circuit rather than join the army?”

  He stared out the windshield, his mouth lashing into a tight-lipped grimace. “I was a fool. I started going out with the guys, partying. Anything to forget you. Two of us enlisted after drinking. I thought if I could see the world some, get away from Oklahoma and all the memories, even the rodeo, that everything would be all right. When I realized my mistake thinking that, it was too late. I was in basic training. I haven’t drank since then.”

&n
bsp; “How many years were you in the army?”

  “Four. I got some training, I saw the world and I went to school.” He opened the door, hopped to the ground and reached back to get the basket.

  She knew after he’d left the army that he’d become a professional bull rider for five years and was world champion for three straight years before his accident. Although she couldn’t bring herself to watch that video again, she did watch others where he’d ridden to victory. Seeing him talk after getting his first world championship helped her to understand a little of the lure of what he did. His face had shown excitement and a sense of accomplishing something important, the same expression she’d seen when he had finished his ride and left the ring.

  He came around and opened her door. “Ready?”

  She climbed down and pocketed his keys. “I wish it was warmer. We could have gone swimming like that one time.”

  “This would be a fun place to bring Nicholas, especially next summer.”

  “Once he learns to swim.”

  Halting, Zachary rotated toward her, both eyebrows raised. “He doesn’t know how to swim?”

  She shook her head. “He was sick for a long time. We didn’t have access to a pool in South Carolina. I lived in a little house, but there was no neighborhood pool.”

  He started forward. “Well, that’s gonna change. He might not always swim in a pool here, but places like this are great in the summer.”

  “Up until a couple of years ago, he didn’t have the energy or desire. Now Nicholas is wanting to do all he’s been missing.”

  “Like learning to ride?”

  “Yep. That was top on his list when we moved here.”

  Looking back seven weeks, she wondered if her sister had told her the ranch she was sending her to was owned by Zachary if she would have come that day. Probably not. Actually, definitely not. But now she saw where the Lord was leading her. She needed to make amends to Zachary and bring them together as a family—at least Nicholas and his father, if not her, too. This outing renewed her hope it was possible.

  “There’s still so much I want to know about Nicholas.” Zachary set the basket down on the ground under a large oak tree near the waterfall.

  The sound of its water pouring over the rocks above and crashing down into the pool echoed through the small glade and faded into the woods that surrounded the place. Sunlight dappled the glittering surface like sparkling diamonds strewn across a pale blue carpet. The scent of pine and earth hung in the air.

  Jordan opened the basket and withdrew the blanket. As she spread it under the oak, she gestured toward the manila envelope. “I suggest you read his essay as a start.”

  Stretching out on the blanket, he withdrew the papers and began reading. Intense concentration creased his forehead. Then slowly his expression went from surprise to awe.

  When he finished, he peered at her sitting next to him. “He thinks the cowboy is the epitome of what this country stands for. He even draws parallels between the jousting of knights in medieval times to the contestants in a rodeo, competing for the prize. A lot of thought went into this.”

  “It’s a tribute to you. He watched hours of videotape, mostly of you, before he wrote this. I didn’t help him hardly at all, which is most unusual when he writes.”

  Zachary swallowed hard. “I didn’t know he was doing this. He asked me some questions this past week about what I did, how I felt, but I just thought it was his curiosity.”

  “He wanted to understand what drove you to risk your life each time you got on the back of a bull.”

  “He obviously listens well.”

  “Until I read this last night, I didn’t have a clue why you did it.”

  “‘The thrill and adrenaline rush is unbelievable, but what really got me back on a two-thousand-pound, bucking bull each time was the faith of totally putting myself in God’s hands’ was the answer three-time world champion Zachary Rutgers stated when asked why he was a bull rider.” Zachary lifted his gaze from the essay to look into her eyes. “That was my answer word for word and he didn’t even write it down. Amazing.”

  She smiled. “Yes, Nicholas is amazing.”

  “Tell me about his heart defect, his surgery. I know you’ve told me some, but that had to be such a difficult time for both of you. I need to understand like you and Nicholas did about my bull riding.”

  “When he started school, Nicholas caught everything. He was always sick—small for his age. Finally our family physician diagnosed Nicholas with atrial septal defect. Usually it’s repaired with a catheter. Nicholas got one, but then it became infected. He almost died. He was put on long-term antibiotics, lots of blood work, doctors. The catheter had to be removed and repaired surgically. All of this took a toll on Nicholas.”

  “And not you?”

  Thinking back to that time brought a rush of memories of the hospital, long hours of doubt if Nicholas would be all right, sleepless nights, worry, prayers, tears. Her stomach still clenched anytime she visited someone in a hospital and got a whiff of that antiseptic scent. “Once Nicholas started recovering, I was fine.”

  Zachary clasped her palm. “You were? You’re still scared for him and try to protect him.”

  She yanked her hand away. “What you really mean is that I’m overprotective.”

  He indicated an inch with his forefinger and thumb. “Maybe a little. The doctor said he is fine now. As I’ve said, a boy has to have breathing room.”

  “And guidance.”

  “Are you ready for him to compete in the HHH Junior Rodeo competition?”

  “Barrel racing?”

  “Yes, that’s one thing.”

  “Do you really think he’s ready?”

  “I was doing what he’s doing at six.”

  “And look what happened to you.” She pulled her legs up and clasped them to her chest.

  He lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “I survived, and I’m now doing something else I wanted to do—raising horses.” Rubbing his hands together, he grinned. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. What do we have for lunch?”

  “A couple of your favorites. Or at least they used to be.” Jordan scooted toward the basket and dug inside, bringing the first container out. “Fried chicken, extra crispy. Then I have a cucumber-tomato salad as well as a pasta one, slices of homemade bread and butter and for dessert peach cobbler.”

  Zachary peeked beneath the foil at the chicken and picked up several pieces. “Don’t tell Nicholas how much I love this.”

  “Oh, he knows. He helped me with this lunch.”

  “I still can’t believe I have a son who is a vegetarian.”

  “He isn’t your usual child.”

  “I’m discovering that every time I’m with him.” He finished loading his paper plate with the various dishes.

  After she selected what she wanted to eat, she bowed her head and blessed the food. “Dig in. What you don’t eat you can take home with you if you want.”

  Several bites later, he looked straight at her and said, “A guy sure could get used to food like this. This is delicious.”

  “You can thank Granny for teaching me how to cook.”

  “I’ll do that. Your grandmother is quite a character. How are she and Doug getting along?” He took a sip of his bottled water.

  “According to my mother, too well. She thinks Granny is too old to carry on like a twenty-year-old.”

  “Your mom doesn’t want to see your grandmother with a man?”

  “I think she’s jealous. She’s been divorced for more than twenty years and has dated off and on over the years, but she never has found anyone who interested her. Lately she has declared she isn’t going to date anymore. She loves her life like it is.”

  “And you don’t believe her?”

  “Nope and neither does Rachel. My sister has even tried to fix her up with a couple of older men who were friends of her husband’s. It didn’t work out. Rachel has decided matchmaking isn’t for her.”


  “Contrary to a certain grandmother and young boy.”

  Again Zachary’s gaze snagged hers from across the blanket and held her linked to him. She swallowed her bite of salad past the lump in her throat. The intensity in his eyes heated her cheeks. For a moment she felt as though she were the most important person in his life. The warmth from her blush spread through her body.

  “They don’t seem to be too bad lately,” she murmured, wetting her dry lips.

  “Maybe they’ve given up on us.”

  “Maybe.” Was there any hope for them? Had Nicholas and Granny realized there wasn’t? “But I have to warn you, usually Nicholas is relentless and determined when he is after something. It’s those qualities that helped him through his illness. He rarely cried when he was hurting. He was so brave.” Tears sprang into her eyes when she thought back over that time, the pain he was going through evident on his face even though he tried to mask it. She closed her eyes, a wet drop dripping out and coursing down her face.

  Zachary leaned close, wiped his thumb across her cheek, then cupped the back of her neck to draw her nearer. “You aren’t by yourself with Nicholas anymore. I’m here to help.”

  His murmured words spoken into her hair as he hugged her against his chest made her almost believe there was a chance for her and Zachary. Then she remembered the invisible barrier always in place even when he held her close. As though he kept a small part of himself from her and that no matter what she did that wouldn’t change.

  With his thumb under her chin, he raised it so she stared into his eyes. “You’ve done a great job with Nicholas.”

  The compliment washed over her. She snuggled closer, wanting so much more than Zachary was willing to share. And it was her fault the situation was like that.

  “If I could change what happened eleven—”

  He settled his mouth over hers, stealing the rest of her sentence. For that brief moment when his lips connected with hers, all her doubts fled. Only possibilities lay ahead. Her heartbeat kicked up a notch, matching the faster tempo of his that she felt against his chest.

  When he moved back, framing her face in his hands, his dazed expression vanished to be replaced with uncertainty, his eyebrows slashing downward, his gaze narrowing. “I shouldn’t have done that. It only complicates things.”