Girls' Night Out_A Novel

by Liz Fenton

  Lauren kept her eyes trained on Ashley but said nothing.

  “So you were pretending?” Natalie pressed.

  “Yes and no.” She hoped Lauren might step in. Ashley knew she could relate.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Natalie asked, frowning.

  Because you love him. I love him. This is Jason. The guy who helped us move all the furniture into our first office space because we couldn’t afford to hire movers. The one who called you after I had Hannah to tell you every detail because you were stuck in traffic on the 405.

  Ashley’s eyes filled with tears. She had wanted to confide in Natalie so many times, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Part of her hoped it would get better. Part of her was curious whether she could tolerate it if it didn’t.

  “I wanted to, but if I said it out loud, that would make it real. Then I’d have to deal with it. Keeping it inside was easier.” She blew out a deep breath, even a partial confession lifting a large weight from her shoulders. Regardless of their issues, these were the people she wanted to share this with.

  Lauren finally spoke. “I’m sorry.”

  “Thank you,” Ashley said.

  “Are you going to try counseling?” Natalie asked.

  They were so far beyond couple’s therapy at this point, Ashley was sure that would never help them. But she knew why Natalie was suggesting it, why she wanted them to work it out. They sometimes joked that she liked Jason more than she liked Ashley.

  But Natalie had no idea what she was talking about. Who he really was.

  “I don’t think he’d go. And honestly, I don’t know if I want to,” Ashley said.

  “Sometimes it just is what it is, no matter how much you want it to be something else,” Lauren said, more to herself than anyone else, picking up a menu and staring blankly at it. As she had so many times this past year, Ashley yearned to be inside her head. To see where her battle lines were drawn.

  “Anyway, enough about that,” Ashley said, trying to hide the disappointment she felt that Lauren hadn’t said more. “Jason is a big part of why I wanted to be here with you two. I’ve got some soul-searching to do.”

  She didn’t miss the look that passed between Natalie and Lauren.

  “Excuse me.” José stood next to their table and turned to Natalie. “I’m sorry, miss, but your credit card was declined.”

  “What? That’s impossible. Try it again,” Natalie said, her cheeks brightening.

  “I ran it three times. Do you have another?” José looked away, as if embarrassed for her.

  “It’s okay, charge it to my room,” Ashley said quickly.

  “No, I wanted to pay for it,” Natalie said.

  “Next time.” Ashley waved her off as José walked off to rebill the charges.

  “You know what, I forgot to call my bank to let them know I’d be out of the country. They probably declined the charges because they think it’s fraud,” Natalie reasoned.

  “That’s probably it,” Lauren reassured her. “You can call them later.”

  “I will.” Natalie smiled, Ashley noticing it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Natalie hated failing at anything, even if it was just a credit card charge. She was the one who still prepped for their business meetings as if they were final exams, making notecards until her eyes were blurry.

  A tall man with thick black hair and green eyes appeared at their table. “I’m Ishmael. Your rooms are ready. Sorry for the wait.”

  “No problem,” Ashley said, relieved for the interruption. She needed time to regroup.

  “I have two suites.” He looked between them. “Who is sharing?”

  Ashley sent a guilty glance in Lauren’s direction. “There are only eight bungalows in this hotel and only two were left when I booked. I thought I could sweet-talk a third room, but no luck . . . yet.”

  “We are still fully booked,” Ishmael said sheepishly.

  “No worries, but if there are any cancellations, I’ll be your first call, yes?” Ashley laid her fingers on his forearm and he blushed.

  “Yes, of course.”

  “So, Laur, I figured Nat and I could share because we practically live together at work anyway and there’s only one big bed, and your room is actually closer to the ocean than ours.” Ashley smiled brightly as she said the words. She had considered putting herself with Lauren, to accelerate their reconciliation, but she worried it might be too much, too soon. And even though things between her and Natalie were strained, they’d worked through conflict before. They could certainly handle sharing a room for a few days.

  Lauren tilted her head slightly, her face blank. “Thank you—that sounds nice,” she said softly as they grabbed their drinks and followed Ishmael out of the bar. He introduced them to Maria, another hotel employee, a short young woman with chocolate-brown hair twisted into two braids.

  “I’ll take you to your room,” Maria said. “It’s this way.”

  Lauren began to follow her but turned back. “Meet up later?” she asked.

  “Of course. I want to throw my stuff down, maybe take a quick shower. But then we’ll hit the beach!” Ashley said, trying not to focus on the expression on Lauren’s face—it looked like she thought she and Natalie were abandoning her. This trip was not supposed to pull them apart. It was meant to bring them back together.

  She watched Lauren walk toward her room and then followed Natalie’s tall frame to their bungalow, stopping to wash her bare feet in the washbasin at the base of the stairs—which Ishmael had called a lavapie—and decided maybe the trip hadn’t started off on exactly the right foot. But it was just the first day. There was still time to rediscover the smiling women from the framed picture. They hadn’t veered so far off the path.

  Had they?

  CHAPTER THREE

  FOUR DAYS BEFORE

  NATALIE

  Ashley dropped her purse on a chair and looked around their suite. “Wow, this is gorgeous! Even better than the pictures online.” She walked over to the sliding glass door and pulled it open, a warm breeze blowing in.

  Natalie sent off a quick text to Ben. Credit card declined. Do we need to talk?

  She sighed, hoping it was a mistake but knowing in her heart it wasn’t. She set her phone facedown on the table and took in the room, trying not to let what had happened distract her. There was a king-size bed draped with a white sheer canopy. A balcony with an ocean view. Beautiful beveled glass faux windows lined the hallway to the bathroom. Ben would love it here. She couldn’t recall the last time they’d gone on vacation; he had been supportive of her long hours building and maintaining the business for years, but as the girls had gotten older he had started to resent it, more of the family responsibilities falling on him. Natalie was often so tired when she got home that she couldn’t so much as read the girls a bedtime story. If they were even still awake. If she and Ashley didn’t sell the business, she honestly didn’t know when her family would be able to travel together again, to become a cohesive unit once more.

  “So, you and Lauren seemed pretty chummy back there.” Ashley pressed her lips flat.

  Natalie took a deep breath, knowing what was coming. The dynamic among the three of them had always been a careful balance of closeness and conflict—something as simple as a look or a remark tipping them to one side or the other. “Yeah, we were catching up. Wasn’t that the plan?”

  “Right. We were all supposed to be doing that.”

  Natalie cocked her head. “You confuse me, Ash. You bring us all here to bond, and then an hour in you’re doing that thing again.”

  “What thing?”

  “Oh, come on—whenever the three of us are together, you have to dominate the discussion and everyone’s attention, or else.” She tried to keep her voice even, knowing how easily this conversation could go sideways.

  “Or else what?” Ashley put her hands on her hips. Her expression was one Natalie could only describe as absolute confusion—which was baffling. This had always been their setup. P
art of the reason this last year without Lauren in their lives as much had been easier in so many ways.

  “Or else this.” Natalie waved her hand back and forth between them.

  Ashley gave Natalie a long look, but said nothing.

  “You know I’m right,” Natalie teased.

  Ashley sat on the chair next to her. “You’re not wrong,” she managed.

  They both smiled.

  “That’s a good start,” Natalie said after a few moments. “Admitting someone’s not wrong.”

  “It just felt like you guys were teaming up, agreeing about everything. And that I couldn’t say anything right.” Ashley frowned, then held up a finger. “And before you call me on it, I already know I’m being a little childish.”

  Despite the fact Ashley had evolved from the nineteen-year-old girl Natalie had met in her biology class at Harvey Mudd to an entrepreneur who was married with two daughters, in many ways she was still that college girl. She craved attention like you yearn for water to quench your thirst. And she was still used to getting her way—sweet-talking friends or colleagues to sway them to her ideas just as she had done with teachers, getting them to extend a deadline for an assignment as easily as she could put one foot in front of the other and walk.

  “Can I ask you something?” Natalie said gently.

  “Sure,” Ashley said.

  “I thought you wanted this—her, here. The three of us together again.”

  “I did—I do.”

  “I feel bad for Lauren,” Natalie said, the words out before she realized—the margaritas she’d had earlier were emboldening her. They were delicious, not to mention they eased her tension, and she could already tell her usual two-drink limit would not be standard in Mexico for both those reasons.

  “Why?” Ashley asked, twirling the end of her hair around her finger.

  Did Ash really not get why? They’d barely seen Lauren after what happened at the funeral nearly a year ago. She studied Ashley’s face—her soft brown waves that highlighted her high cheekbones, her nose that was just a little too big but somehow worked with her wide-set brown eyes.

  “I guess I was trying to make her feel comfortable. Letting her know I was ready to move past it.”

  “But what happened last year is about me too—I was also there. I was also hurt.”

  “And so was I,” Natalie said, trying to keep her voice neutral. But the truth was, she hated thinking about that night, still pushing down the guilt about her part in it.

  “So you can see how giving her all of your attention could come across like you’re taking her side.”

  “You know I wasn’t doing that.”

  “But she might think you were.” Ashley sighed.

  “I know that.” Natalie selected her next words with care. “But you invited her here. Don’t you think that, in itself, is giving her the impression you’re not still holding on to everything?”

  “I do want to get past it, I really do, and I think I tried to go there a couple of times, didn’t I?”

  “Well, you talked about Jason.” Natalie was treading carefully. But she was surprised that had been Ashley’s reason for coming here. To figure things out.

  “And old friends!” Ashley said. “I tried!”

  “Did you?” Natalie asked gently.

  Ashley shrugged. “I thought I did. But maybe not. I just didn’t think I should come right out with what happened at the funeral.”

  “That’s not what I’m saying. Just give her some time,” Natalie said. “And maybe I overcompensated, tried too hard with her earlier. I didn’t intend to make you feel left out.”

  “But one of us always is.” Ashley bit her lip.

  “True—we need to figure that out. We’re almost middle-aged!” Natalie said, wondering if they ever would. At a J. Lo concert they’d gone to many years ago, there had been two seats together and the other was one row up. Both Lauren and Natalie obviously wanted to sit with Ashley, but in the end Ashley had taken the lone seat. Nat would never know whether it was because she was being selfless, avoiding conflict, or wanting to flirt with the group of cute boys in the next seats. All she knew for sure was that three was a difficult number when it came to friendship.

  “I think I messed up with the room thing.”

  Natalie gave her a sympathetic look. “You didn’t really think coming to Mexico was all we’d have to do and then poof, we’re all put back together?” she said.

  “No, I don’t know. I just couldn’t seem to connect with her. It’s never been that hard before.”

  “This one’s going to take more than batting your eyelashes.” Natalie smirked.

  “Hey.” Ashley laughed, jabbing her in the arm.

  Natalie raised her eyebrows. “Truth hurts?”

  Ashley pushed her again playfully, then opened her suitcase and started rifling through it, mumbling something about a bikini.

  Natalie flipped over her phone—–no response from Ben. She let out a long exhale. She knew the news wasn’t going to be good when she heard from him. “Hey, can we talk more about Jason?” she asked hesitantly.

  Ashley’s back stiffened, her movements slowing as she searched for her bathing suit. “What else do you want to know?”

  “I’m just wondering, now that we’re alone, why you didn’t say anything. Come to me.”

  “It’s complicated,” Ashley said, still not turning around. “Like I said, talking about it would have made it real, you know? Denial really can be a beautiful place to live.”

  Natalie couldn’t imagine what could be so bad between them. When Jason had bought Ashley a blender for a recent birthday, she’d gone ballistic. Natalie sent her smoothie recipes for more than a month—it was their own little inside joke. But how long ago was that? Over a year ago, for sure.

  Ashley pulled a white two-piece bathing suit from the suitcase and turned around, sitting on the floor. She spoke again while Natalie was still thinking. “It’s been a long time coming. You know, building slowly.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “We fight. A lot.” Ashley’s eyes were steely.

  “Ben and I fight too,” Natalie said, thinking of their last one. Just before she left for Tulum—Ben pushing her to make Ashley change her mind about the offer. You need to make her understand you want out. The girls need you. I need you. We need this.

  “Not like we do.” Ashley looked down.

  “Everyone thinks that, right? We’ve both been married a long time. What’s it going to be for you? Twelve years? Fourteen for me? It’s normal to have issues.” Natalie wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince Ashley or herself. “It’s why selling the company could be good for us—for our families. Maybe with the pressure off, you guys could figure it out.”

  “Nat, please . . .”

  Natalie held up her hands. “Okay.”

  Ashley gave her a thoughtful once-over. “So what if I do this: What if I promise to give the Revlon offer some more consideration on this vacation?”

  “You’d do that?” Natalie asked, feeling a rush of hope. She’d never known Ash to so much as sleep on something. She routinely made quick decisions, declaring that her impulsiveness was her secret sauce.

  “I want you to know that I want to be better. I know I’ve been hard to deal with, but I’m really trying.” She shifted on the floor. “It might not seem like it yet, but I am.”

  “Okay,” Natalie said, swallowing her surprise. She hadn’t heard Ashley talk like this before—it was refreshing. Hopeful, even.

  “I want to take a quick shower, and then let’s hit the beach with Lauren. Maybe I can sweet-talk José into making us three of his specialty margaritas and get him to throw in an extra splash of mezcal—that is, if you’re ready for another one?”

  Natalie smiled. “Why not? And I’m sure you’ll have no problem convincing him.”

  “You seem to think these lashes have magical powers.” Ashley blinked rapidly for effect.

  “Don’t they? I still
can’t believe you were able to get us reservations at Hartwood for our last night here. I mean, it’s you, so I can, but still, I’m impressed,” Natalie said. The hip restaurant in Tulum owned by two former Brooklynites booked out months in advance. Ashley had called just a couple of days ago and charmed the host into squeezing them in. Natalie had leaned against the doorjamb of Ashley’s office as she pleaded her case in a slight southern drawl (she tended to manifest one when needed), explaining she was bringing her girlfriends to Mexico, even admitting she’d had a falling-out with one of them and that this dinner was going to be her apology, then letting out a high-pitched squeal when she got the reservation. “I’m giving you the biggest kiss when I get there!” she’d exclaimed, and winked at Natalie, as if to say, There’s no way in hell that’s happening. That was the thing with Ashley—she’d say just about anything to convince you of something. The trick was distinguishing the facts from the bullshit.

  Ashley shrugged. “It’s just what I do. We can’t all be engineering geniuses. Some of us have to hustle.” She swatted Natalie on the butt with a striped towel. Ashley peeled off her leggings, T-shirt, bra, and panties and turned on the shower. She stood there naked, sticking her fingers under the water. “It’s ice cold.”

  “Ishmael warned us that the water takes a while to heat up. You’re always so damn impatient!”

  “But you love me anyway!” Ashley sang as she stepped in.

  Natalie ignored her last comment, walking out to their lanai, spying Lauren across the courtyard on her balcony. She was leaning against the bamboo railing, waving her hands as she spoke animatedly on her cell phone. Who was she talking to? Her mom? A boyfriend, perhaps? Natalie felt a pang of embarrassment for how little she knew about Lauren’s current life. As she watched her, she hoped she’d find out on this trip.

  Her phone buzzed. Ben.

  Sorry about the credit card. Let’s talk live about it. Any news on your side???

  Not yet.

  There was no answer she could give Ben other than that she’d convinced Ashley to sell. They’d gone round and round about cutting back her hours—which she’d attempted before, with disastrous results. She’d once taken the week of spring break off to clear her head and be with her girls, but Ashley had called her so many times, needing help with payroll, wanting to know where she could find the patents, and having a meltdown over the new sales rep who wasn’t quite pulling her weight, that Natalie had come back in after two days. While Ashley was the face and the creative mind, Natalie was the one who handled all the shit—all the behind-the-scenes things that kept the company running and that Ashley didn’t want to do. That’s why the offer from Revlon had been a godsend. Natalie would get the one thing she wanted most—her freedom.