Girls' Night Out_A Novel

by Liz Fenton

  The only thing standing in the way of that?

  Ashley.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  THE DAY AFTER

  NATALIE

  Natalie sat on the edge of the bed, her wet dress hanging heavy on her body, clinging to her legs. She dialed Lauren but the call went straight to voice mail, and she found herself staring at the screen, trancelike. Still no text or call back from Ashley. Her adrenaline spiked. If she wasn’t in Lauren’s room, she had to be with Marco, but it felt strange that Natalie couldn’t locate her. She always knew where to find Ashley, the way she always knew where her daughters were.

  A shiver passed through her. Once, several years ago, she’d heard a small gurgling sound coming from the baby monitor. She’d run to her daughter’s room, fumbling around in the dark until she discovered there was a small circular thread that had poked free from the soothing aquarium that hung on the side of the crib. It had somehow gotten wrapped around Lucy’s neck. Natalie quickly released her from it, her heart pounding, the fear of what could have happened intertwining with the relief she’d felt that Lucy was safe. It still surprised her how much she thought of that night, how much energy her mind still spent on what could have happened, and she felt that same consciousness strike her hard now.

  She’d find Ashley. Hopefully in Lauren’s room. Then they could all have a laugh about how Natalie was finally the one who’d drunk so much she blacked out. She opened the door and headed across the courtyard, pushing to evoke more of her memory. How had she ended up sleeping on that beach chair, and why was she wet? But she could only grab snippets of scenes from the night before—being at dinner at Hartwood, taking shots, drinking red wine and more red wine, then changing locations—going to La Cantina, a bar downtown, and dancing to “Brown Eyed Girl.” It was like she was trying to recall a dream. She knew it was in there somewhere, but the details wouldn’t take shape. What had happened to wipe her memory away? A pit formed in her stomach—a physical alert that felt like a warning.

  She hurried up the steps to Lauren’s suite, where the curtains on the sliding glass door were pulled shut. She knocked lightly, then harder. What if Lauren wasn’t here either? She tried not to think about the research she’d done after Ben’s lecture, scrolling through the travel warnings on the Department of State website. She’d fallen into a rabbit hole that night, clicking from one article to the next, ending up on one from Reuters that said there were thirty thousand people missing in Mexico who had disappeared under suspicious circumstances. Almost one thousand mass graves had been found, fifteen hundred corpses, only half of them identified. Natalie found it alarming how much violence occurred in the very same place tourists flocked to in droves.

  Finally she heard the latch and her pulse slowed slightly. Lauren opened the door, blinking rapidly. “Hey.”

  Natalie’s eyes darted around the room, her gaze falling on the closed bathroom door. “Is Ash here?”

  Lauren shook her head. “Why, what’s going on?”

  She felt that twinge in her gut again. Where was Ashley? She frowned, her mind spinning with explanations. But there was something unsettling about that—the not knowing. She raked her fingers through her hair, feeling some sand granules shake out. “I don’t know where she is,” she said, the weight of Ben’s words to her before she left for Tulum sinking in. Be careful. It’s Mexico. Stay together.

  Had they stayed together?

  “She’s probably with Marco.” Lauren rolled her eyes.

  Marco. The thought stirred her anger. If Ashley was with him and didn’t tell them—didn’t bother to so much as text—Natalie wasn’t sure what she’d say to her when she did come back.

  “Have you called her?”

  Natalie swallowed her sigh. Of course she’d called her. A dozen times. She nodded. “Can you try her, please?” she requested, a sliver of her worried that Ashley might be ignoring her calls because they’d argued last night.

  Lauren picked up her phone. “Why is your dress wet?” She looked her over.

  Natalie touched the fabric. “I don’t know. I woke up down on the beach.”

  “What? You?” Lauren smirked.

  “I hardly remember anything from last night,” she said, her voice small.

  “Why not? You weren’t that drunk, were you?” Lauren studied her.

  “I guess I had more than I usually do, so maybe it hit me harder than I thought?” Natalie sat on the bed, checking her phone again. Still no response.

  “I’m just getting voice mail,” Lauren said. “I’ll send her a text in case she’s in a bad cell spot.” She typed something on her phone. “So what do you remember?”

  “Just parts. Like I know we had tequila shots and lots of red wine at dinner, right?”

  “And pork ribs and mahi-mahi. Ashley was doing her annoying picky food thing. She talked the waiter into going next door to get some goat cheese for her beet salad when they told her they’d run out.” She shook her head.

  “I remember that.” Natalie recalled watching Ashley touch the server’s hand lightly as she made her request. Is there any way you could find some goat cheese for me? In the past, Natalie would have made a funny comment about how Ashley could convince anyone of anything. She may have even retold that story from the early years of BloBrush, when Ashley had sat in the QVC lobby for hours until she won over the cranky receptionist with the colorful tattoo sleeves, who ended up getting Ash five minutes with the woman who decided which products went on air. Natalie teased her about how cocky she’d been as she’d packed her oversize bag that morning, filling it with granola, bottled water, and magazines. I’m not leaving until I talk to someone, Nat. Nat would say that part in the nasally voice she used to imitate her, the one that always made Ashley laugh. But she didn’t do any of that last night. Instead, she’d stared at Ashley as she slowly chewed her beet salad with pine nuts and pondered how she’d ever thought it was funny that Ashley manipulated people everywhere she went—that it was so ingrained in who she was that even Natalie wasn’t sure she could tell the sincere from the fake anymore.

  “I guarantee you she’s in Marco’s bed right now.” Lauren pursed her lips. “You saw them last night on the dance floor—he was all over her.”

  Natalie sighed, recalling how he’d crashed their girls’ night, monopolized Ashley’s attention.

  “Do you recall that part?” Lauren asked. “‘Brown Eyed Girl’ came on and you three were dancing—well, after Ashley pretty much dragged you out there.”

  “I do,” Natalie said. She saw herself in a sea of bodies, awkwardly moving her feet left and right like a teenage boy at his first dance, singing along, laughing as she heard her awful pitch. Amazed that she was actually singing. She didn’t even sing alone in the shower! She had once. She’d belted out Beyoncé’s “Crazy in Love” and Ben had walked in, making a joke that thank God she had a day job to fall back on.

  The digital clock on the bedside table said 6:52 a.m. “Anything from Ash?”

  “No. You?”

  “Nothing. We need to go find Marco. I can’t believe we didn’t get his number.”

  “Well, it wasn’t like we wanted to keep in touch,” Lauren said dryly.

  Natalie stood up. Suddenly something occurred to her. “Do you think my blackout is from more than drinking too much? Do you think I could have been drugged?” She wrapped her arms around herself, the thought making her feel nauseous. She’d never blacked out, not once, and the idea that she could lose a piece of herself was terrifying.

  Lauren looked at her. “Maybe, but when?”

  “I don’t know—at La Cantina? Things are pretty clear up until that point.”

  “I guess it’s possible, but that’s a scary thought.”

  Natalie chewed on her lower lip. “I know.”

  “Are you okay? Do you think anything happened to you?” Lauren looked her over.

  “It doesn’t feel like anything did . . .” Natalie trailed off. Could someone have raped her—or tried to?
She didn’t think so, but the mere idea of it sent a chill up her back.

  “Okay, good. Let’s go find her.” Lauren went to the closet and changed into yoga pants and a T-shirt. “Of course this is how we have to spend our last morning. Tracking her down,” she huffed as she grabbed her tennis shoes off the floor.

  Natalie bristled slightly at her agitation. “It’s okay,” she offered.

  Lauren gave her a funny look. “What’s the last thing you remember from last night?”

  “What?”

  “You guys left me at La Cantina. You went with Marco. Took a cab somewhere.”

  “Why didn’t you go with us?” Natalie asked, shifting uncomfortably.

  Lauren pulled her hair back into a ponytail. “I said I didn’t want to.”

  “The night was bad, wasn’t it?”

  “It was a disaster, in my opinion.” Lauren sighed. “Ashley asked me to go somewhere with her so we could talk. She said the three of us could all go bond on the beach.” She studied herself in the mirror. “I said no. I was just over it.”

  Natalie squeezed her eyes shut. How could her mind have erased something so important happening between her two friends? She remembered being in the bathroom, two women recognizing them from their popular YouTube videos. She also had the sense she’d argued with Ashley while in there. But what had they had been fighting about? Revlon, a voice inside her head whispered. But was she just assuming that, or was it an actual memory?

  “Well, when we find her, you guys can talk it out,” Natalie said.

  “I’m over trying to talk things out with her. I think I’m done. And I told her as much.” Lauren looked like she was going to say more but didn’t.

  “Really?” Natalie was shocked by the finality in Lauren’s voice. She couldn’t say she was surprised Lauren felt that way after the last five days. But she also hadn’t known Ashley to reach out like that—to be the bigger person. If Ashley was trying, why couldn’t Lauren have tried too? Shouldn’t you try as many times as it took?

  “Really,” Lauren said, her face impassive.

  “And even in the light of day you still feel the same?”

  “I think so, yes. It’s just been so difficult, Nat. Friendship shouldn’t be this hard.”

  She was right. Friendship with Ashley was often difficult. But did that mean it wasn’t worth it?

  “So, nothing after dancing? Just a blank slate?” Lauren asked.

  A memory broke the surface. The bathroom at La Cantina. She saw her reflection in the mirror, her eye makeup smudged. She and Ashley were arguing. About Revlon. Ashley still adamant about not selling. But she remembered them trying their best to put it aside and drinking more alcohol to make the night bearable. Ashley pulling her out on the dance floor. The details were hazy, but they were there. Natalie drew her eyebrows together.

  “Just bits and pieces from La Cantina. Then I woke up out there.” Natalie pointed in the direction of the hotel’s private beach, her stomach twisting. “I’m trying not to panic, but this is Mexico. I won’t be able to relax until we can confirm she’s with Marco.”

  “I think she’s okay. That girl always lands on her feet.” Lauren’s voice was confident, but her eyes flashed something conflicting. Doubt? “I’m going to call her again.” She put her phone on speaker.

  Natalie willed it to ring, for Ashley to answer. But it went straight to voice mail again. Maybe Ashley was just upset about last night and went somewhere to cool down. “Do you think her phone is off because of what you said to her?” Natalie asked.

  “Don’t put this on me. You were pissed at her too.” Lauren crossed her arms over her chest, then looked away. But Natalie caught her expression before she did—she was worried.

  “I’m not,” Natalie said, not wanting to put Lauren on the defensive. “But if that’s it—and I’m not saying it’s your fault—it would be a good thing. It would mean she was okay.”

  “I have no idea, Nat. Ashley could be screwing Marco right now and not even thinking of us. Do you really think we’re at the top of her mind right now? We didn’t seem to be during this entire trip.”

  Natalie thought about this. “You’re right, but it sounds like she tried to connect with you last night.”

  “Once it was too late. Once I was done. She had a year.”

  Natalie pinched her lips together. She hated how much tension there was. It had practically swallowed them whole. But even more than that, she hated the guilt she still felt about her part in the argument a year ago. That she could have done more to defuse Lauren and she didn’t. “I wish we hadn’t left with him.”

  “Like you were going to stay. Have you ever chosen me over her?” she asked matter-of-factly.

  Natalie looked away, rubbing her temples, feeling bad she’d taken off and left Lauren behind, even if she had told Ashley to leave without her. She was struck by how easily the three of them went from bad to worse in such a short amount of time.

  “I’m sorry,” Natalie said. “I wish I knew why I left you.”

  Lauren waved her off. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “How could we all be so stupid?” Natalie asked. “You staying by yourself. Us going off and leaving you. Not even getting Marco’s number. This is Mexico!”

  The lyrics from the Van Morrison song played in her mind. Ashley had grabbed her elbow and tugged her. Both of them setting their drinks on an empty table by the bar. Ashley’s white tank top glowing under the lights.

  Natalie swallowed. Ashley had been their brown-eyed girl.

  And now she was gone.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  FOUR DAYS BEFORE

  LAUREN

  Lauren sat on the edge of the king-size bed and sent a text to Annie, a friend she’d met in her grief group about ten months ago. Lauren was so grateful for her, for the way she’d plucked her from the very lowest valley of sadness when she’d found her crying outside the entrance to the church, unable to go inside. But even though she’d made a new friend, there was still a big part of her that missed Ashley and Natalie too. They’d been the closest people in her life before Geoff’s death. And now she weighed whether it could ever be the same again. If she ever wouldn’t feel like a third wheel when the three of them were together.

  Hi from the odd man out in Tulum. They are sharing a room and gave me my own.

  She added a sad-face emoji.

  She saw the little gray dots indicating Annie was already writing back. She was always there. Always available. That’s how friends were supposed to be, right?

  Wedge yourself back in there! Don’t let them leave you out. And look at it this way—now you can walk around naked!

  Lauren smiled, despite how she was feeling—like she was thirteen years old sitting alone at the cafeteria lunch table. She considered whether the hotel was really sold out or if she’d somehow convinced Ishmael to lie. She supposed she couldn’t entirely blame Ash if she’d done that. Their friendship had been basically nonexistent ever since the moment Geoff dropped dead in front of her, clutching his chest in disbelief before his head crashed on their cream-colored Italian travertine tile. She could barely remember calling 911 after he collapsed, the ride to the hospital, the doctor coming out to tell her he was so very sorry, going home alone that night. Her mom driving her to a funeral home, helping her pick out the coffin—did she want steel or wood, bronze or copper? And then suddenly she was putting on her shapeless black dress and riding in the back of a town car to the cemetery.

  Her phone pinged. Another text from Annie.

  I know you’re still sitting there feeling sorry for yourself. Get your bathing suit on and invite them down to the beach.

  Lauren sent a thumbs-up emoji and obediently walked to her suitcase and pulled out her red bikini. The same one she’d worn on her honeymoon. She rubbed the fabric between her fingers, recollecting how Geoff had eyeballed her when she’d put it on, how he’d thrown her on the bed, where they’d stayed all day, never making it to the pool. She stopped
herself. Her therapist said it wasn’t healthy to only remember the good days. Because there had been so many terrible ones.

  She picked up her cell phone, walked outside, and dialed Annie, speaking quickly when she answered on the first ring.

  “Hey,” Lauren said.

  “So, you’re not having fun?” Annie asked.

  “Not yet. We’ve had a couple of drinks together, and it’s already tense.”

  “Girl, you’re in paradise! What are you doing?”

  “I may have been a bit cold to Ashley.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know! I thought I was okay coming on this trip, but when I saw her at the airport I felt sick all over again, and I couldn’t really shake it after that.” She recalled the way Ashley had bounded toward her at the gate, Natalie in tow. Like nothing had happened. Lauren bit her lip. “I guess I worry if I play along, if I act like we’re all fine, then it makes what she did okay.” She paused. “And it makes me feel disloyal to Geoff, in a weird way.”

  “Did Ashley bring him up?”

  “No,” Lauren said. “But she did say she was seriously thinking about leaving her husband, Jason, which made me start thinking about Geoff. What if I’d seen the signs earlier?”

  Annie paused. “You couldn’t have known. People like Geoff are masters of manipulation. Look what he did with your mom.”

  “Right,” Lauren said, thinking of the way he’d swooped in to save the day when her mom was going to lose her apartment and Geoff had secretly called the landlord and paid her rent for the next year. At the time Lauren had been blinded by his generosity—especially because it had been after only six months of dating. But later she’d seen it for what it really was—a power move. “But maybe if I’d finished school, made more of my life, I would have never needed his help in the first place.”