After the Fire

by Jen Talty

  “But your girls have a mother who commands respect, and you both have such a great relationship that they aren’t going to settle for someone who doesn’t lift them up and make them feel like they are the center of the universe,” Renee said.

  “Well, that’s a different problem,” Ryan said with a chuckle. “He’s spoiled our daughters to the point that no man is going to be able to give them all that their father has.”

  “Oh, I’m sure they will be able to find one and train him well.” Fletcher didn’t normally feel comfortable adding to this kind of conversation, especially since he knew nothing about having kids or a family. Those days had been stolen from him, but right now, in this moment, he wanted to take them back. His heart rate increased, and his mouth went dry.

  Everything he thought about himself changed in the moment he started seeing Renee.

  “I like the way that man thinks,” Ryan said. “Come on, babe. I need your help putting together a snack tray. I also want some wine. I’m so not in the mood for beer.”

  “Yes, dear.” Jared took his bride by the hand and headed toward the house.

  Fletcher kept his arms wrapped around Renee. He pressed his lips against her temple, inhaling the fresh strawberry scent of her shampoo. “I didn’t mean to crash the party, but we need to talk.”

  “I know we do, but it will have to wait until after dinner.” She rested her head against his chest.

  God, it felt way too good to have her in his arms. So good he never wanted to let her go, but he would. He would give her whatever she wanted because he loved her.

  Renee had no idea how to start this conversation. With everything that had been going on the last month, she had totally forgotten about her prescription for the morning after pill until she went rummaging through her backpack this morning when Ryan invited her for a girls’ day at the spa.

  How the fuck could she have forgotten that?

  Now she sat in her bathroom with her phone, going through her calendar.

  Fuck.

  She was officially two weeks late.

  To make matters even worse, she had enjoyed herself this evening to the point it brought tears to her eyes. Fletcher had been sweet and attentive. He hadn’t been over the top, but he’d given her just the right amount of attention.

  Knock. Knock.

  “Are you okay in there?” Fletcher asked.

  “Just washing my face and changing my clothes. I’ll be out in a second.” She splashed cold water on her cheeks and patted them dry. She half wished she’d had a pregnancy test so she could know one way or the other.

  She couldn’t tell him if she didn’t know.

  But she should tell him she never took the morning after pill. She at least owed him that.

  Didn’t she?

  Hell. She should wait until she knew for sure.

  She fluffed her hair and stepped from her tiny bathroom and made her way to her shoebox of a family room.

  Fletcher had made himself comfortable on the sofa, stretching his legs out on the coffee table. He’d poured two glasses of red wine. He handed one to her.

  She shook her head.

  “I noticed you didn’t have anything to drink at dinner either,” he said.

  “I’m feeling a little off.” Not a total lie.

  “I hope you don’t mind if I drink both then.”

  “Have at it.” She sat next to him, tucking her feet under her butt. “Cade called me into his office the other day.”

  “I see,” Fletcher said. “I take it he told you about my request to transfer.”

  “He also told me that if he couldn’t find placement for you that he should consider the memo your two-week notice.”

  Fletcher raised his stemless wine glass and took a large gulp.

  Oh, how she wanted a sip. But ever since she figured out she could be carrying Fletcher’s baby, she thought better of it. Of course, she had no idea how he would react to the news.

  She wasn’t even so sure how she was dealing with it.

  “I’ll be totally honest and tell you I don’t want to leave,” Fletcher said. “But I don’t know what else to do. We can’t keep snapping at each other in the field, and I’m the interloper. It should be me.”

  “I don’t want you to leave the station,” she said. “I think it would be wrong.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re a good fit. You’re well rounded and can be utilized in both the ambulance, the fire engine, and the ladder truck. But mostly, I can get my head out of my ass. What you did with Charlotte and her baby. That was nothing short of amazing.”

  “Well, I did have a good partner.” He reached out and batted her nose. “I don’t want to leave either. But I will if you want me to.”

  Hormones always got the better of her. “Do you know what I want right now?” She took his beverage and set it on the end table before straddling him and pulling her shirt over her head.

  “Dear Lord. I’m in trouble now,” he murmured.

  This hadn’t been the plan she set when she invited him back to her place after dinner. No. She wanted first to talk to him about staying with the station and then about the fact she could be pregnant.

  Of course, what she really wanted to know was the in between, meaning, did they have a chance at a relationship?

  Would he be willing to give it a try even though he didn’t find women to be trustworthy?

  But in the end, it didn’t really matter. He would either trust and love her, or he wouldn’t.

  She reached behind her back and unclasped her bra, letting the girls loose.

  “You’re breasts really are perfection.” He brushed her hair aside, taking her nipple in his mouth, rolling it around with his tongue.

  Arching her back, she let all the sensations overtake her mind and soul. She would fully give herself to him in every way. She wouldn’t hold back. There was no need to. Not anymore. Sexually, she belonged to him. There would never be anyone who would ever love her the way Fletcher did.

  A pang of guilt coated her heart. It should have been Devon’s love that forever seared her soul. And in a way it did. She loved him. There was no denying that.

  But Fletcher touched her in ways no man ever had. He understood her on levels even Devon hadn’t. Maybe it was understanding loss that connected them. Fletcher hadn’t experienced the death of a child, but he could appreciate the emotions that swirled around in someone’s psyche because of what his ex-wife had done to him.

  Masterfully, he removed all their clothing, kissing every inch of her body, not letting a single centimeter of her skin go untouched. He had a way of putting her desire above his own, and yet, he obviously took what he needed.

  She allowed herself to be lost in him. With him. Having sex with him went beyond the physical act. It was a combination of love and chemistry. Lust and pure unadulterated passion. To say he rocked her world would be an understatement. He made her question her sanity. He made her want to evaluate every conviction about love, relationships, and commitment she’d ever made.

  The only problem with that was she might be willing to give this a go.

  But he wasn’t.

  And she’d have to be okay with that.

  7

  Fletcher leaned against the doorjamb. The sun had started to peek out from behind the mountains. The smell of bitter coffee collided with the scent of fresh lilies being carried across the slight breeze. The sound of a motorboat hummed in the distance.

  Taking in a deep breath, he let it out slowly.

  Nothing had changed, and yet everything was different.

  He should have stopped her and told her how he felt instead of being selfish and a coward, hiding behind mind-blowing sex. His grandmother had asked him what the hell he was so afraid of when it came to Renee, and his answer had been the same as always. That having his heart ripped out once had been sufficient. He didn’t need to have it happen a second time.

  Listening to Jared and Renee’s brothers discuss all th
e heartbreak Renee had suffered, and she still ended up putting herself out there over and over again, even though she fought it, told him that maybe he was missing something.

  But he had to tell her and stop hiding behind a blanket of passion. Risks were a part of life and it was high time he took back his.

  The sound of bare feet scurrying across the hardwood floors caught his attention. He glanced over his shoulder. “Good morning.”

  Renee breezed into the kitchen wearing his boxers and a tank top, with no bra. Her hard, tiny nipples pressed against the white fabric, leaving nothing to the imagination.

  “I made coffee,” he said.

  “It smells wonderful.” She pulled down a mug. “So, are you going to stay with the 29?” She leaned against the counter.

  “That depends.”

  “On?”

  “Us,” he said. “We kind of avoided talking about things last night.”

  She let out a dry laugh. “We’re good at that.”

  “For the record, I didn’t come here to sleep with you.” A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Okay. I did, but that wasn’t supposed to happen until after we talked.”

  “You should know I feel guilty,” she said.

  “I can understand that.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t think you do.”

  “The world has put this one-year mark on the death of a spouse. You’re not there yet, and we’re an unconventional couple.”

  “First, we’re barely together,” she said. “And second, that’s not the problem. I’m having issues because I don’t feel guilty about Devon. I mean, I don’t feel like I’m cheating on his memory or anything.”

  “I’m glad.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets, keeping his distance. They needed space between them. It was too easy for them to fall back into bed and get lost in each other. “I wouldn’t want to be disrespectful to his memory. However, I don’t want this to end.”

  She lifted the mug to her lips and blew. A thick cloud of steam dissipated into thin air before she took a sip. “But eventually, you will get bored and say goodbye.”

  “That’s usually my MO,” he admitted. “But nothing is ordinary about you or this situation.”

  She tilted her head. “That really didn’t sound like a compliment.”

  “Yeah. That wasn’t my best line.” He glanced down at his bare feet. “I care about you in an unexpected way.”

  “You make it sound like an unwanted disease.” She slinked across the room and rummaged through her backpack.

  “I’m terrified I’m going to scare you away.”

  “No. I think it’s going to be the other way around.” She pulled out a small white paper bag and handed it to him. “I’m sorry. Yesterday, when I was cleaning out some things, I found that. I totally forgot about it. I should have told you last night before I shoved my boobs in your face, but sometimes I use sex to avoid real issues.”

  “I do the same thing.” He held up the pharmacy bag. “What’s this?”

  “The morning after pill. I never took it.”

  He dropped it to the floor as if it were on fire. “Fuck.” He bent over and handed it back to her. “That’s not good.”

  “No. It’s not.”

  “That first time was like a month ago,” he said.

  “I know. I remember.”

  “Should we be worried?” he asked.

  She nodded, letting out a long breath. “We’ve used protection every other time, but I’ve looked at the calendar half a dozen times since I found that bag yesterday, and I’m late. Actually, substantially late.”

  “I need to sit down.” Butterflies filled his stomach. His muscles grew weak as he managed to stumble to the recliner. He sat on the edge, cradling his head in his hands, while he rubbed his temples. “Have you taken a pregnancy test or anything?”

  “No. I need to go buy one.” She set her coffee on the counter and inched closer.

  He leaned back on the chair and caught her gaze. “What do you want?”

  “I don’t know. I’m scared that if I allow myself to feel good about any of this, it will all go away in a one big body bag, and I won’t be the one in it.”

  “I don’t have any plans on dying anytime soon, but I know that won’t make you feel any better.” He stood, taking her into his arms. “If you’re pregnant, do you want the baby?”

  “Do you?” she asked with crinkled forehead.

  “I asked you first.”

  She dropped her head to his chest. “This is happening too fast. I don’t want to fall in love with you.”

  “I know. I feel exactly the same way.” He tilted her chin up. “But as crazy as it sounds, I have already fallen in love with you.”

  She gasped. “This is literally insane, and now I’m really going to be worried you’re going to die on me.”

  He cupped her face. “That must mean you love me back.”

  “Don’t you dare go and drop dead. Do you hear me?” She fisted his shirt.

  “Please don’t get mad, but I’m not going to make that promise and we both know why.”

  She nodded. “Thank you. I think.”

  He kissed her nose. “Now how about we go out, have some breakfast, and buy a pregnancy test.”

  “What are we going to do?” she asked.

  “Let’s have that discussion when we know if we’re going to be parents or not.” Parents? Why wasn’t he gagging over the word? Why was his heart swelling with joy over the possibility? Why was he thinking this might actually be a good idea?

  Worse, why did he consider that if she wasn’t, then he wanted to take the bulk pack of condoms he’d bought and toss them out the window?

  She coughed.

  And coughed again.

  “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with you in the first place.”

  He patted her bottom. “Go get some clothes on. I need to go check on my grandma. Then we can head into the village.”

  She turned on her heel and paused in the hallway, glancing over her shoulder. “You know, you never really answered my question about if you’re staying at the station.”

  “You really need me to say it out loud?”

  She nodded.

  “I will call Cade right now and tell him to rip up the request.” He held up his hand. “On one condition.”

  “What’s that?”

  “We stop hiding our relationship.”

  She shrugged. “Everyone already knows anyway.”

  “I love you.” The words floated off his lips with ease. He never thought he’d be able to say them, much less mean them ever again. The corners of his mouth tugged into a proud smile. “I just realized that no other man will ever get to see those breasts again but me.”

  Quickly, she lifted the hem of her tank top and flashed him. “Me and the girls love you back.” She disappeared into the bedroom.

  Never in a million years did he think life could be this good.

  Renee paced in a circle around the kitchen table biting on her thumbnail. Her pulse raced, and fear seized her ability to go back into the bathroom to get the results.

  Fletcher wasn’t doing much better as he stood outside, leaning against the fence, drinking a beer, staring off at the lake. They’d gone over to his grandmother’s house and had a nice breakfast before taking a stroll down to the corner country store where they bought a pregnancy test.

  No sooner did she stuff it in her purse than Gavin waltzed into the store, inviting them for lunch, where he and Charlette eventually brought up what Gavin saw them buying at the store.

  Figures.

  Gavin had been texting her ever since. While he promised he wouldn’t tell anyone in the family, if she were pregnant, the news would spread like wildfire.

  It was now close to five in the evening and they still didn’t know if she was with child or not.

  Fletcher peeked his head in. “It’s been like fifteen minutes.”

  “I know,” she said.

&nbs
p; “I can’t decide if I’m more scared it will be negative than positive.”

  “Wow,” she said softly. “That’s a bold statement considering all that you’ve told me.”

  “And how do you really feel about it?”

  She leaned in and pressed her lips against his cheek. While she had loved Devon with every fiber of her being, she believed with all her heart that he’d want her to move on with Fletcher, and for the first time in her life, she understood that without risk, there could be no reward.

  Every man she’d loved had been a blessing. She’d been lucky to have them in her life, and while their deaths had been tragic, she hadn’t been the cause. However, she’d spent so much time worrying about when the next dark moment would come, that she never really had the chance to enjoy life.

  She wasn’t going to do that this time.

  “I love you. And even this would be really fast. Maybe too fast. But I’d be good with having a baby.”

  “And what about with getting married? Would you be okay with that?” He held out a pearl ring.

  “Holy shit.” She snagged it out of his fingers. “What the fuck is this?”

  “My grandmother’s ring. She gave it to me this morning.”

  “You told her what’s been going on?” Renee glanced between the ring and Fletcher.

  “She guessed half of it, but I can’t lie to that woman.”

  “Are you seriously proposing to me?” Nothing about their relationship had been conventional. It had been a wild ride, and anyone on the outside looking in would think they were doomed.

  But for the first time in Renee’s life, she wasn’t going to overanalyze the situation. She wasn’t going to do the safe thing or even the thing that made the most sense. No. She was going to take the bull by the horns and live.

  Truly live.

  “I know it’s not the most romantic way to ask you to marry me.” He slipped the ring on her finger. It was a near perfect fit. “And I don’t care if we wait months either because we’re having a baby or because we have time because we’re not. I don’t care if we elope or if you want some big church wedding.”