Navy Hope

by Krotow, Geri

  It’d been two years since she’d broken up with Bob. Longer still since she’d been this attracted to anyone. Perhaps never had a man’s kiss been so exciting, except for those early kisses in her late teens, when everything was new and hormone-charged.

  Lucas.

  This morning, when he’d put his mouth on hers, she’d felt nineteen again. Better.

  As she towel-dried her hair, she remembered Chet and Erin’s wedding. Even if they’d known it would end in the horrific tragedy of Chet’s death in a war halfway around the globe, she knew that both of them would do it again in a heartbeat.

  Life was short.

  Instant connections were rare, deeper connections often once-in-a-lifetime.

  She owed it to herself not to give up. She’d just have to be patient and wait out his time as her employee.

  Patience had never been one of her virtues.

  Chapter Sixteen

  April

  Winter melted into spring, and Val relished the long season. Her daffodils and tulips came up magnificently in the front beds. She liked to think they greeted each guest at the resort. As she walked by the large ceramic pot she kept at the entrance, spots of bright pink caught her eye. She stopped and took a moment to finger her fuchsia blooms. It never ceased to delight her that a flower that was an annual in so many other parts of the country grew perennially on San Juan Island.

  “The garden here is beautiful. I see you out in it a lot. Are you the only one who tends it?”

  Lucas stood next to her and she straightened. He wore the BTS polo shirt, embroidered with their logo, and a pair of jeans that made her wonder why she’d never paid particular attention to men in jeans before.

  “Yes, but I’m more of a maintenance gardener. The work was done before I purchased the place. The buildings were in disrepair and the main hotel needed some renovations, but the widow who sold it to me had kept the garden up for the twenty years after her husband died.”

  “It shows.” He gazed around at the various blooms and she took the chance to look at him. She didn’t often get the chance to really study him without his knowing she was doing just that.

  She didn’t want to scare him off.

  You’re the one who’s afraid.

  Agreeing to stay away from each other romantically had opened the door to a friendship they’d never had in college. She was surprised to discover how much she enjoyed working with him, whether it was listening to his concerns over a family member or gathering the supplies needed for an impromptu arts and crafts session.

  “Are you still enjoying the pace here?” Restricting their conversation to work was far less taxing as far as her heart was concerned.

  Lucas grinned. “Too much. I love the routine, the early-to-bed, the free time between workshops.” His eyes narrowed as he watched two eagles circling above them.

  “I knew I was making a difference at Walter Reed, at least in the short run. Here, I know I can help surviving families go on to productive, enjoyable lives.” He turned his gaze back on her. “They’ve already done the hard grieving. My work is easy.”

  “Are you kidding yourself with that kind of talk? Because you’re not kidding me. The clients across the board have commented positively on your input. You’re very talented at what you do, Lucas, and this place is just as important as a wounded vet center.”

  “I didn’t mean to imply it’s not. Quite the opposite.” He placed his hand on her arm.

  She relished the warmth—and accompanying spark.

  “I can’t thank you enough for giving me this opportunity,” he said. “It’s changing how I view my profession, how I want to go on after my time here is over.”

  The desire his touch stirred sobered into regret.

  “Well, you only have a couple more months. I’m sure you’ll make the most of it.” She gathered up her gardening tools and put them in her bucket, hoisting it onto her arm. Stepping away from him, she said, “See you back at the office.”

  She walked off, unable to look at him. She didn’t want him to see how sad the thought of his leaving made her.

  Much as she hoped for something beyond friendship, she couldn’t count on it. He hadn’t made any promises—or even hinted at a future.

  Chapter Seventeen

  June

  “I’m going to miss working with you.” Lucas looked at her over his cup of tea. Their morning briefings usually included Tanya, but she was off-island for the day.

  “I’ll miss you, too.” Val was grateful her voice didn’t crack. Their professional-only relationship would never be enough for her.

  She took a sip from her mug before she opened the case folder in front of her. She perused it, then slid it across her desk toward Lucas.

  “It’s a family of two—a mom and her young son. He hasn’t been able to trust another adult besides his mom, and they’ve had some issues with him in kindergarten. His dad died two years ago.”

  “Most of the families we’ve worked with come here sooner after their loss.”

  “Our clients come when they’re ready to come.”

  His gaze lingered a beat longer than necessary on her face.

  Damn. Her distress at his leaving, their undeniable attraction for one another, her frustration at not being able to expect more from him, was coming out sideways.

  “I sound like a complete bitch. I’m sorry. I’m not being fair. You’ve seen as much as anyone here. You’re right. This family waited a long while. “

  He smiled and she forgot what they were talking about it.

  “It’s not just you, Val,” he said. She wanted to grasp a deeper meaning in his words but didn’t dare.

  Lucas sighed. “I’ve spent the last three years dealing one-on-one with returning vets who’ve suffered unimaginable losses and traumas. I’m used to getting in and treating the mental damage as fast as possible, before it has a chance to become debilitating. It’s still hard to shake my urge to lean toward going for the ‘quick fix,’ even after several months at BTS.”

  “You’ve done wonderfully. It’s almost as if you were meant to be here.”

  Her words seemed to hang there, and she blushed.

  “I’m not saying—”

  “Don’t explain, Val. I understand.” He stood up. “Mind if I take this and study it for the next half hour before we meet with them?”

  “Of course not. That’s why I pulled it. Here are the three additional families we’ll be welcoming this week, two tomorrow and one on Wednesday.”

  “You said the pace would stay fast and furious when I arrived six months ago. It’s only increased over the spring.” There was that maddening smile again.

  “Good thing you love what you do.”

  “You’ve got me there.”

  Lucas turned and left the office, and Val let her attention drift down to his backside.

  Two more weeks.

  She’d be able to relax again, not constantly on vigil against her feelings for Lucas.

  Of course, he’d be gone then, possibly forever. There’d been no talk of any future together and realistically, they faced too many obstacles. She knew all that. And yet

  “Crap.”

  She spoke to the empty office; Maggie was out of sight. San Juan Island in the twenty-first century wasn’t Regency England, but she needed a chaperone. Only two weeks until Lucas’s contract was fulfilled. She suspected he’d be gone as fast as the weather changed on the island. At least she’d be able to breathe again. Staying professional while fighting her attraction to Lucas had become too difficult.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “Val, you need to get over to the pool area.”

  The tone of Maggie’s voice sent fear coursing through Val.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Just go. I’ll be right behind you.”

  Val made it out of the office, around the lodgings and through the pool fence in under two minutes.

  Pepe, the six-year-old son of a U.S. Marine gunnery sergeant who�
��d died in battle two years ago, was the child she’d told Lucas about during their last briefing. He stood atop the pool’s small diving board, hands clasped in front of his little chest, his hair wet, his eyes screwed shut.

  Lucas was treading water under the diving board, fully clothed. His voice was low and steady as he spoke to Pepe, but Val was too far away to make out his words.

  Serena, Pepe’s mother, was on the concrete deck with the other group members, two of whom held their arms around her. Val wondered if it was for support or to keep Serena from lunging after her son. Gold Star families tended to be more reliant on each other than other families, but Val had noticed that Serena was especially protective of Pepe. And why wouldn’t she be? He’d been barely five when his father was taken from him.

  Val saw Tanya and walked over to her. “What’s the deal?”

  “Lucas asked everyone what they were most afraid of. Pepe said he was scared of heights. So he wants to jump off the diving board—to prove he can do it.”

  “The pool’s supposed to be a backdrop for the sessions, not part of them!”

  “Pepe was wearing his swim trunks. He and Serena have gone in the pool each day after the workshops.”

  “But Lucas wasn’t dressed to swim.”

  “No, he wasn’t, but he took his phone out of his pocket before he got in and told Pepe to get up on the board.”

  “If that kid doesn’t jump, Tanya

  “

  “He will jump, Val. If he doesn’t, he’s not ready yet, and that’s a good lesson, too.” Tanya’s expression remained neutral, but Val caught the innuendo that was aimed at her.

  “I’m not afraid to jump.”

  “Hmm.” Tanya gave the uniform counselor’s reply.

  Val kept her gaze on Pepe and the swimmer below him. Pepe’s eyes had opened. The air was still and Lucas had raised his voice.

  “Everyone’s afraid to make the first jump, Pepe. That’s why it’s always a good idea to have a buddy. I’m your jump buddy for this one. Your mom can be your buddy, too. You can ask anyone you want. Remember, if you jump, you won’t be alone.”

  “If I don’t like it, I’m not doing it again.”

  “You don’t have to, Pepe. You can even decide not to jump this time. Whatever you decide is okay.”

  Pepe looked up, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears as he searched out his mom.

  Serena smiled at her son, her lower lip trembling. Tears spilled from under her sunglasses.

  “Go for it, mi hijo.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Pepe gave his mother a curt nod and lowered his hands to his sides. “Okay.”

  He stepped off the board and fell into the water, hardly making a splash as Lucas caught him under the arms. Val liked how Lucas let Pepe go under for a bit, just to have the feel of the jump, before he helped the boy reorient himself.

  The small crowd broke into huge applause and whooped for Pepe.

  Pepe swam to the side of the pool and hauled himself out. Serena was on her knees to catch him as he threw his soaking wet self at her.

  Lucas watched from the deep end as he continued to tread water.

  “Nice job, Dr. Lucas.” Tanya’s quiet compliment said it all.

  Val wiped her tears away.

  “Anyone else want to jump?” Lucas smiled, his teeth white against his skin, the sun and water reflecting his joy.

  “Does this mean we’re done for the afternoon, doc?” Todd, one of the few single family members who’d come for the week, took off his T-shirt and dove into the deep end. Val thought that was what the past year must have felt like for him, after his wife died in Afghanistan. He’d told her at dinner last night that he was finally giving himself permission to start a new life. Her heart pounded as she wondered if Todd was aware of the metaphor in what he’d done, diving into the deep end in one bold leap.

  Lucas climbed out of the pool and his chinos clung to every muscle on his runner’s legs. Val wished she had sunglasses on so that she could get a better look at him—all of him.

  “You deserve to go after your own happiness, Val,” Tanya said quietly.

  Val smiled at her observation. No doubt she’d watched Val ogle Lucas.

  “It’s not that easy, Tanya. He goes back next week.”

  “Only if he wants to.”

  An hour later, Val found Lucas sitting in the cushioned cedar swing she’d hung within a week of moving into BTS. It was in a secluded part of the small garden but the swing allowed glimpses of the surrounding islands when the weather was clear.

  “Mind if I join you?”

  Lucas looked up from the client folder he studied and turned his intensity on her. She felt caressed by his gaze as he took her in from head to toe, lingering on her breasts and hips.

  How had she kept him at arm’s length for the past six months, especially when she knew how well he kissed?

  “Here.” He patted the cushion beside him. As she sank into the soft pillow, his arm went around her and they sat that way for what felt like hours, content with each other’s company.

  “Have you gained what you expected from BTS?” She broke their comfortable silence.

  “I honestly didn’t have any expectations, except for getting a break from the insane pressure cooker I’ve lived in for the past few years in D.C.” He used his leg to keep them swinging, just a bit, and Val relished how her body leaned into his with each sway.

  His fingers were on the back of her neck, drawing delicious little swirls over her skin.

  “I figured anything that happened here would be tame compared to what I was used to. I didn’t realize how much impact the families would have on me.”

  “In what way?” She thought she knew, understood what he meant, but she wanted to hear it from him.

  Chapter Twenty

  “To bring a soldier back from the brink of insanity, like we do with the newly returning vets, is one thing,” he began. “It’s rare that I get to see what kind of success I’ve had—the soldiers go through treatment with the goal of being released to a local program, in their hometown or wherever their unit’s stationed, if they’re going back to active duty.” He turned to face her, Val and put both arms around her. She laid her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat underneath her cheek while he spoke, his chin on her head.

  “Here, these folks don’t have the burden of wondering if they’re going to make it. They have made it, through tremendous grief and loss. The choice they have at BTS is whether they’re going to simply keep surviving, or try to go beyond that. To thrive.”

  His hands were massaging her back, exactly where the strain of the day had pooled.

  “To see such courage, Val, and to know they let me in, let me be part of their decisions, is the most moving therapy I’ve participated in.” He leaned back and raised her chin so she could see his unshed tears. “What you’re doing here is vital. You understand that, don’t you?”

  “Yes.” She swallowed. “It means the world to me that you think so, too.”

  He stared at her and she couldn’t break the connection between them.

  “Why didn’t you ever try to find me after college?” she asked. She didn’t want to sound needy but at this moment she couldn’t grasp how they’d lived apart from each other for so long.

  “You already know, Val. The same reason you didn’t look for me. We moved on.” He stroked the side of her cheek. “And I didn’t think I deserved you after leaving the way I did.”

  “It wasn’t your fault.” God, he’d been helping his family.

  “No, but it wasn’t yours, either.”

  “That was then.” She smiled and turned her lips into his palm.

  “Can you let go of our past, Val?” he whispered.

  She lifted her head. “I already have. You must know that.”

  He touched her lips with his tongue, a warm caress, and then he moved his hand to her nape and kissed her.

  Val met him with no restrictions. No hurt, no questi
ons, no resentment from the break-up of long ago.

  Lucas pulled back. “I’m staying, Val. We’re going to make this work.”

  “What do you mean by this?”

  “I mean BTS, if you’ll let me sign on as a full-time team member.” He traced her lips with his fingers.

  “Oh.”

  “And I mean— us. You’ve become my best friend, Val. But I’d like to make it more—a lot more.”

  He kissed her again and she accepted everything he had to give.

  “Do you think you can live on an island forever, Lucas?”

  He laughed. “With you, my dear Valentina, I could even live on a ferry.”

  THE END