Remember Me (Men of Honor Series Book 1)

by Lara Van Hulzen

  ***

  Ben stood on the deck, staring at the surfboard Mike had laid out for him in the sand. What was he thinking? Surfing looked hard. And yet a part of him sensed he’d done it before.

  It was weird. He recalled at breakfast he liked cereal but not oatmeal. But he couldn’t remember his name or his work or…anything. Being near the water felt like home, but was it? He rubbed his eyes, exhausted. Not being able to remember was a constant mental battle. Ridiculous.

  Tess hadn’t come out of her house yet. He intentionally wanted to be early, feeling that would somehow prepare him better for seeing her again. Wishful thinking, but it made him feel more confident anyway. He’d barely slept the night before. Thoughts of her hugging him kept him awake. She’d moved so fast. When she took his hands for him to stand and then buried her head in his chest, he’d feared his heart would stop. When he wrapped his arms around her, she fit up against him just right, her tiny frame completely protected by him.

  He scratched his chest and looked down at the swim trunks he’d borrowed from Mike. Lucky for him, Mike’s older brother was about Ben’s size and left clothes at Mike’s house for when he visited. So far, Mike had treated Ben like a long-lost friend, giving him a key to the house and full reign over the refrigerator. Ben didn’t know what he’d done in his life to deserve such kindness from strangers, but he was grateful.

  He heard Tess’s back door slide open behind him and turned. She stepped onto the deck wearing white board shorts with blue flowers and a matching bathing suit top. Her long hair was pulled back into a ponytail. After closing the door behind her she faced him with bright eyes and a big smile. A tiny tattoo of a dolphin sat just above her right hipbone. He leaned on the deck railing to stay upright.

  “Good morning. How’d you sleep?” She had her hands on her hips and had to crane her neck a bit to look up at him. Her eyes squinted in the sunlight.

  “Um, I slept fine. Thanks. You?” Why did he feel like a fourth grader who was uncomfortable talking to girls? Because a cute one was standing right in front of him in a sporty bathing suit? No, because a beautiful woman he couldn’t stop thinking about was standing in front of him in a sporty bathing suit. Lost in his own thoughts, he almost missed her answer.

  “I slept great, actually. I think the…excitement of the past day or so caught up with me.” She bounced down the steps onto the sand.

  “You do seem full of energy this morning.” A goofy grin covered his face as he watched her but he didn’t care.

  She turned back toward him and laughed. “I think it’s the anticipation of being in the water. I do love it. The world sort of disappears for me when I’m out there.” Pointing toward the front of the house, she said, “I’ve just gotta go grab my board out of the garage. I’ll be right back.”

  “Do you need some help?”

  She looked back over her shoulder and said, “No, I think I can handle it.”

  It was hard to miss her giggle. Of course she could handle it. She’d been surfing forever, probably carrying her own board for quite a while.

  He shrugged. “Can’t blame a guy for trying, right?”

  Her laughter floated back toward him. Her ponytail swished back and forth across her back as she walked through the sand around the side of her house and disappeared into the garage.

  Ben looked out toward the water, shook his head, and rubbed his beard. The woman fascinated him. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her when they were together, and she was always on his mind when they weren’t. He frowned. He lied when he’d said he slept well. He hadn’t. As empty as his brain felt of memories, he couldn’t seem to get it to stop churning.

  Tess came back around the house, her surfboard tucked under her arm. He looked from her board to the one Mike gave him lying in the sand and back to hers.

  As if reading his mind she said, “Beginners need a bigger board. That’s why mine is so much smaller.”

  “I thought maybe it was because you’re tiny and I’m…not.”

  She laughed as she passed by him, walking toward the water. “Come on, lumberjack,” she said over her shoulder as she continued by him. “Grab your big-boy board and let’s see what you’ve got.”

  Lumberjack? He watched as Tess marched right into the waves, glided onto her board on her stomach, and paddled out flawlessly. He snagged the orange and green striped board from the sand and went to join her. At that moment, he had no desire to remember his past.

  Chapter 6

  Tess swung her wet ponytail behind her and hopped on her board again to paddle back out. The waves were ideal. She looked toward Ben, who straddled his board, waiting for another ride. She’d given him basic pointers and, after falling a few times, he seemed to catch on and was doing fine. Of course he was doing fine. He knew how to surf as well as she did.

  Pushing through the water in rhythmic strokes, she floated up next to him and propped up to a sitting position. He smiled, his teeth white against his tan skin and dark beard.

  She shivered.

  “Is the water too cold for you?” he asked.

  One smile and he had that effect on her. She was in trouble.

  “No. What about you?” His wet chest gleamed in the sunlight. The black and orange swim trunks accentuated his tan Italian skin. When she walked out on the deck that morning and saw him in swim trunks and no shirt, emotions stirred she thought were buried. She watched him atop his surfboard, grinning at her and talking as if nothing bad ever happened between them.

  She was a fool. Nothing was buried. She loved him today as much as she had ever loved him. Maybe more.

  “I feel great. You’re right. Surfing is awesome. I feel so free out here.” He turned his face toward the sun as their boards floated over a small wave.

  “I had a feeling you would like it. So no wet suit for you?” she teased.

  “Now, how would that make me look if I asked for a wet suit and paddled out here with you, the brave tiny soul who apparently has no fear of freezing massive ocean waves?”

  She laughed. “It’s not freezing. It’s summer. Do this in March and you might call it freezing.”

  “What about your friend? You said he never minded the cold.”

  Her pulse quickened. She didn’t like talking about him, his past. It made her brain scramble, like when you tell a lie and then can’t remember what you said. It snowballs, and then you stutter and backtrack until you say something stupid and reveal yourself.

  “Who said it was a he?” she managed.

  He lifted his eyebrows. “Good point.” He looked back out toward the vast blue sea and said, “How many more waves are you gonna ride?”

  “I think just one more. I’m about done.” Her shoulders relaxed. Keeping his past from him was exhausting. “I’m hungry. You want some lunch?”

  “Sounds great.”

  “Then last one in has to make it.” She flipped herself forward onto her stomach again and turned her board. Paddling in along with the next wave, she timed it perfectly, catching it just right and standing, expertly gliding along as the water took her towards the shore.

  “That’s not fair,” he shouted from behind her. “And trust me, you don’t want me anywhere near a kitchen.”

  She laughed and jumped off her board into the water. Emerging with the coolness of the sea dripping down her body and the warmth of the sun hitting her skin, for the first time in months, she felt happy.

  ***

  “Hey, how was church?” Tess asked as Emma came through Mike’s back door.

  “It was great. Pastor talked about forgiveness and new beginnings.” Emma winked at her. Tess rolled her eyes.

  “How was the surf this morning?” Mike joined them on the back deck. Tess couldn’t help but see his longing glance toward the water.

  “It was great,” Ben answered.

  Mike looked at the large board lying in the sand and said, “Nice. You didn’t break it or anything.”

  “Break it? How do you break a surfboard?” D
isbelief covered Ben’s face.

  “Believe me, dude, it’s possible.”

  “He did just fine,” Tess offered. She motioned for Mike and Emma to join them. “Sit down, you guys. Have some lunch with us.”

  They scooted chairs from Mike’s side of the deck over to Tess’s, the group now surrounding the small glass table. There were sandwiches on a plate in the center, napkins stacked nearby. A small bowl held some corn chips. Another, black olives.

  “I was in charge of making lunch. so I apologize ahead of time.” Ben shrugged and looked toward Tess with an eye roll. She laughed.

  “You made him make lunch?” Mike asked as he took a big bite of a sandwich.

  “I didn’t make him do anything. You know our rule.” She looked at Mike and winked. “Last one in has to…”

  “…do whatever the first one says.” Emma finished for her.

  “That’s right. He was the last one in.” Tess popped an olive in her mouth.

  “That hardly seems fair though, Tess.” Mike defended Ben.

  Ben sat up straight in his chair and looked at her. “Yeah. I’m just a rookie. and you took advantage of that. That’s poor sportsmanship.”

  Tess and Emma laughed. “Oh please. You were doing fine. You’ve never liked to enter the kitchen, much less have to make anything.”

  Everyone stopped laughing and smiling and stared at her. “What did you say?” Ben asked. “How would you know that?”

  Her mind grasped for an answer that would make sense. “You told me, remember? You said I took my life into my own hands by putting you anywhere near a food preparation situation.”

  He relaxed and smiled. “I guess I did.” However, his brow furrowed as if trying to recall telling Tess anything of the sort.

  Tess’s iPhone rang. She stood up to get it, beyond relieved to be saved by the bell.

  “That was a close one,” she whispered as she picked up the phone off the kitchen counter.

  “Hello, this is Tess,” She looked back outside to where Ben and her friends sat. Ben was now giving them a detailed rendition of his first wave from this morning, animated as he shared the huge wipeout he took.

  “Miss Jansenn? This is Officer Petrie. I was at the hospital yesterday about the John Doe case.”

  Her attention snapped back to the phone. “Yes, Officer, I remember. Is something wrong?”

  “No. I called the hospital and your supervisor…Gwen, I believe it is, said that the man went home with you. Is that correct?”

  “Yes. Well, he’s staying with my neighbor who’s a good friend.”

  “That’s awful nice.”

  “Yes. It is. Did you need to talk to Ben again?”

  “Ben? Who’s Ben?”

  “That man from the accident. The John Doe. He needed a name for his release papers. I…he chose Ben.”

  “His name isn’t Ben. It’s Jake. Jake Wilson.”

  ***

  “What? What are you talking about?” Tess gripped the phone, her voice shrill.

  Looking out toward the deck, three wide-eyed faces stared back at her. Ben got up from his chair and moved around the table, by her side before she had time to blink.

  “What is it, Tess? Are you okay?”

  She soaked in the sincere concern in his eyes. How could this be right? It was ridiculous. He was her Ben. She knew it.

  Attempting to form a coherent thought, she closed her eyes tight and rubbed her thumb along her bottom lip.

  “I’m sorry, Officer Petrie. I don’t understand.”

  At the mention of the officer’s name, Mike and Emma made their way into the kitchen to listen.

  “We found his wallet in the shrubbery near the accident. Someone forgot to mention that to me until just now.” His irritation vibrated through the phone. She felt sorry for the person who had missed giving him the information. “His identification was inside and says his name is Jake Wilson.”

  “So what does that mean?” Her voice now a whisper.

  “It means he has a name. Beyond that, I don’t know what to tell you. He can come down to the station this afternoon and pick up the wallet.”

  “Okay. Thank you for calling.” She ended the call and set her phone down on the counter. Ben now had his arm around her shoulders, holding her up.

  “Tess, honey. What is it?” Emma leaned across the counter and rubbed Tess’s arm.

  “That was the police officer from the hospital yesterday.” She looked away from Emma and up at Ben. “The one who interviewed you. He says they found your wallet at the scene. Your ID was inside.”

  Mike and Emma gave each other a concerned look. Ben took a step back, his face registering the shock she felt.

  “He says your name is Jake Wilson.”

  Tess looked at Mike and Emma, the confused look on their faces mirroring her own.

  “This is great news!” Tess jumped at Ben’s voice. Her heart sank at his enthusiasm. But it couldn’t be true. Nothing was making sense.

  “I need to get down to the police station and pick up my wallet.” He turned to Tess with questioning eyes. “Would you mind taking me?”

  She swallowed hard. “Um…sure. I can take you.”

  He kissed her on the cheek and said a quick, “Thanks. I’ll just go change,” before he was out the door and headed to Mike’s.

  “I’m sorry, what just happened?” Emma sat at the kitchen island on a barstool, her elbows resting on the counter and her hands on either side of her face. Mike stood beside her, his arm around the back of her chair.

  “Yeah. Why would his ID say Jake Wilson?” Mike asked.

  Tess stood like stone, still looking at the door Ben disappeared through moments before. She licked her lips and tasted salt. Her body felt dry and sandy, her ponytail still heavy and wet.

  “Tess? Tess, are you okay?” Mike came around the kitchen island and stood in front of her. He put his hands on her upper arms and made her look him in the eyes. “T. Are you okay?”

  She blinked a few times and then shook her head. “Um, yeah. Sorry.”

  Mike guided her to the barstool next to Emma’s. “I think you need to sit down for a minute.”

  Emma got Tess a glass of water and placed it in front of her. She took a sip and then looked at her friends.

  “What are you thinking, honey?” Emma rubbed her back, her eyes tender.

  “This just doesn’t make any sense. I don’t know what to think. I know he’s Ben. I have no doubt in my mind. So why would he be carrying ID that says otherwise? ” She put her head in her hands and rubbed her eyes.

  Mike patted her arm. “Hey, T. It’s okay. We’ll figure this out. Go down to the police station and see what they say. Maybe they have more information and just didn’t tell you over the phone.”

  Tess nodded, but still couldn’t wrap her head around it all. Ben was back in her life, with amnesia of all things, and now this.

  Mike put his arm around her just above Emma’s. They embraced her, and she felt bit of angst disappear.

  “Why don’t we pray with you before you go,” he offered.

  “That’s a good idea,” Emma agreed. They both bowed their heads.

  Tess closed her eyes to join them. She could use all the prayer she could get.

  ***

  Tess drove along the coastline toward the police station. After they’d showered and changed clothes, Ben wanted to leave right away. He sat next to her in the passenger seat, his right leg bouncing up and down like a little kid excited to go to an amusement park for the day. He rubbed his beard and looked out the window. She had the top down on the car, and his hair blew in the breeze. He normally wore it shorter, but she liked how the ends curled a bit the way it was now. Watching him, she couldn’t help but smile.

  He caught her looking. “What? What’s so funny?”

  “It’s not funny, really. I just noticed that you rub your beard when you’re focused or thinking about something.” Well, okay, she hadn’t just noticed. It was something he’d
always done, but of course she couldn’t tell him that. Her smile faded. All the secrets made her tired.

  “And you rub your bottom lip with your thumb when you’re thinking hard about something.”

  “I do not!” Her smile returned.

  “Yes you do. I noticed it the first time at the hospital when you were choosing a name for me.”

  She laughed and admitted it. “Okay, it’s true.”

  He went back to bouncing his leg and looking out the window. She drove with one hand on the wheel and the other propped up on the door, her hand over her forehead helping to keep her hair from flying in her face.

  Her gut filled with dread as they got closer and closer to their destination. Mike’s prayer had helped, but as she pulled into a spot in front of the police station, a wave of nausea hit. What if being inside a police station caused him to remember? Would it even matter now? His ID said he was Jake, her heart said he was Ben. Tears threatened. She swallowed them and got out of the car.

  ***

  Ben worried his heartbeat could be seen through his shirt. He wanted so badly to know the truth about his life. But what if the truth meant having to leave Tess and never see her again? He couldn’t bear the thought.

  He took her hand as they climbed the steps of the police station. She didn’t pull back, but rather held tight, as if needing him as much as he needed her. His heart rate slowed, and his shoulders relaxed like they seemed to do every time she came near him. She wore a knee-length flowered dress that flowed in the breeze, with a short-waisted cardigan sweater. Her hair hung in a loose braid down her back and her white sandals showed off her bright pink toenails with flowers painted on them. He forced himself to look away from her so he could focus.

  The small beach town police station was a diminutive building as well as a historical landmark. When they asked for Officer Petrie at the front entrance, they were guided to his desk and directed to sit. Ben looked around. Something about the place felt familiar, but he couldn’t pinpoint how. Tess eyed him cautiously, her hands folded in her lap. Within minutes, the tall cop greeted them both then took the chair behind his desk.