Remember Me (Men of Honor Series Book 1)

by Lara Van Hulzen

  “Hello again, Miss Jansenn. Mr. Wilson.” He nodded towards Ben. Reaching into his desk drawer, he drew out a wallet and handed it over the desk. “There’s not just ID inside, there’s quite a bit of cash. Nothing else though, sorry.”

  Ben stared at the wallet. Nothing special. It was dark brown leather, curved and worn in from time in his back pocket.

  “I’m sorry I don’t have any more info for you.”

  Ben pulled out the California driver’s license from inside. He looked at the picture of himself and the name Jake Wilson. Nothing registered in his memory. His eyes looked over the information on the card.

  “What about the address?”

  “We looked it up and had a San Diego officer go by to see if anyone was there, but there was no response.”

  Ben looked at Tess, who had been silent the entire time. She clasped her hands in her lap, but he could still see her trembling. His instinct to protect her overwhelmed him. They needed to leave.

  He stood and offered his hand across the desk to the officer. “Thank you for your time. I appreciate it.”

  The man stood as well and shook Ben’s hand. “My pleasure. I only wish I could do more.”

  Tess smiled and stood next to Ben. The officer nodded to her and she said a quiet, “Thank you.”

  Once outside and back by her car, Ben knew what he had to do, but dreaded telling her.

  “What is it?” she asked.

  He took her hands in his and tried to not choke on the words. “I need to go to San Diego and check out this address. If this is my home, I need to know.”

  Tears formed on the edge of her eyelashes. He pulled her to him and held her tight.

  Chapter 7

  Ben didn’t have any clothes or things that were his, and he promised to get Mike’s brother’s shirt back when he could. Tess knew Mike couldn’t care less about the shirt and she told Ben as much. He still insisted.

  She parked outside the train station but didn’t make a move to get out of the car. Her fingers gripped the steering wheel. She couldn’t go inside with him. Saying good-bye would be hard enough. But watching him ride away, out of her life once again – what if she never saw him again? Part of her wanted to tell him the truth. He wasn’t Jake. He was Ben. But then what? That didn’t guarantee him remembering. And knowing Ben, he wouldn’t rest until he had answers.

  “Come with me.”

  “What?” She stared at him. He sat forward in the passenger seat, still holding his wallet. Was he serious?

  “Come with me.” He looked at her, his eyes full of promise and excitement.

  The thought of going back to San Diego made her palms sweaty. The thought of doing so with Ben made her downright dizzy.

  “I can’t, Ben… Jake.” She tripped over the names. It felt so wrong.

  “Why not? Because of work?”

  She actually had the next four days off, but wasn’t about to tell him that. “I just can’t.”

  His shoulders sagged, a defeated look on his face. “I understand.” He reached for the door handle but then turned and looked at her.

  “I’m gonna buy a cell phone when I can and I’ll call you.” He stared down at the wallet. “The money you gave me is on the nightstand in Mike’s guest room. I can’t thank you enough for that. I guess now I’ll be good though.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He took his hand off the door handle and gently cupped her chin, making her eyes meet his. “This isn’t good-bye, Tess. It’s just see you later. I promise I’ll see you again.”

  He swept his lips over hers, a whisper of movement, touched his forehead to hers and got out of the car. He was out of sight and in the train station before she knew what happened.

  Barely able to see through her tears, Tess drove home. She pulled into her garage and went inside the house. Kicking off her shoes, she fell onto the couch and cried herself to sleep.

  ***

  A pounding noise. A voice floated through her ears, calling to her like someone shouting down a tunnel. Or maybe she was underwater. She rubbed her eyes, unable to grasp the sound or her surroundings. Then she heard Emma’s voice through the back glass door, and her knocking came in loud and clear now. Tess sat up and pushed herself up to stand. She slid the door open. Emma came in, looked her up and down, and said, “What happened?”

  Tess looked down at her wrinkled dress and crumpled cardigan. “I know I don’t look super hot right now, but that’s no reason to be so harsh.” She shuffled past Emma to the kitchen and popped a K-cup into the coffee maker. She needed caffeine to deal with this conversation.

  “Mike just got a call from Ben, who said he’s headed to San Diego.”

  Tess stopped mid-grab for the creamer in the fridge. How did he get a phone so fast? Sheesh. Ben was scary resourceful. At least he used to be. Ugh. Her head hurt. Coherent thoughts swirled like birds above her, none of them agreeing to land. She poured creamer into a coffee mug, stuck it under the machine spout, and pushed the brew button. Emma’s glare bore into her back. She rubbed her neck and turned with a sigh.

  “It seems as if you already know what’s going on.” She shrugged. “Ben went to San Diego.”

  “Well, what happened at the police station?” Emma was now perched on a barstool across from where Tess leaned against the counter, waiting for her coffee to brew. Mike stepped through the back door Emma had slid open but failed to close. It didn’t matter. Most days Mike and Tess left their doors wide open for the ocean breeze.

  Mike waved his phone at her and sat down on the barstool next to Emma. “Just got off a call with Ben. You okay?”

  Tess looked at them. It was a bit like facing a firing squad.

  “Yeah. We got his wallet back, he decided to go check out the address in San Diego, so I drove him to the train station. End of story.”

  She turned around to grab her coffee mug, now filled with steamy hot goodness. Her favorite was iced coffee, but right now she was too lazy to even pour it over ice. She rubbed her eyes. She was tired of crying. Tired of hiding the truth from Ben. Just. So. Tired.

  “Hey, T. It’s us. We aren’t trying to hound you or make you feel bad, we just want to know what happened. We’re here to help you.”

  She faced them again and took a sip from her mug. “I know. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be snippy. The last twenty-four hours have been a whirlwind.” Claiming the third barstool on the end of the kitchen island, she set her mug down and put her chin in her hand. Mike and Emma sat to her right, waiting patiently. She filled them in on getting the wallet back and Ben wanting to go to the address on his ID to see if he could remember anything. Her stomach churned at the thought of their good-bye. She ran a finger over her lips, the tingle from Ben’s kiss still fresh in her mind. Her eyes welled up again.

  “Why didn’t you tell him the truth?” Emma’s face had softened since she first came in.

  “Honestly, I’m not sure I even know what the truth is anymore. I have no doubt he’s my Ben. Well, was my Ben. But he said he was backpacking in Europe. Now he shows up with amnesia and his ID says Jake Wilson. I have no clue what to think. And I thought about telling him, but like Mike said, that might not spark his memory and might only confuse him more.”

  “I’m not gonna lie. I’m super curious about this Jake Wilson scenario,” Mike said. “There might be a whole lot more to Ben leaving you than you ever realized.”

  Tess took another sip of coffee. It was bad enough to think he just didn’t want to marry her. The idea of some other life made her sick to her stomach and her heart hurt.

  “Ben said he’d call when he could. I guess for now, I just wait.”

  ***

  Tess’s legs burned as she ran along the trail. Mike had dropped her off at the base of the hill where the running path began. He would pick her back up after he did some errands for Emma. She loved running through the trees, and appreciated living in a place where one moment she could be on the beach and ten minutes later, trekking through the woods.
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  Ben had called the night before when he arrived in San Diego. He promised to call again today. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she missed him. She was actually disappointed she didn’t have to work for a few days. If she had, she’d have something to take her mind off of him. She went surfing but that only brought about visions of him. She tried to read one of her favorite romance novels, but found herself daydreaming about him and discovered she’d flipped through four pages and hadn’t read a word.

  When Mike suggested a long run on the trail that morning, she didn’t hesitate. But even so, she found her mind continuously slipping back to Ben. So far, being in San Diego hadn’t caused him to remember anything. Her heart ached at the thought of him being somewhere all alone and not knowing anyone. Battling her own mind, she reprimanded herself for worrying about a grown man more than capable of taking care of himself. But maybe she should have gone with him, just in case.

  Breathing hard and focusing so much on Ben, she didn’t hear footsteps until they were coming up right behind her. She saw a shadow on the trail and looked out of the corner of her eye, thinking another runner wanted to pass. She moved as far right as she could, slowing her pace just a bit to allow room. Based on the size of the shadow, it was a fairly large man. As she reached for the pepper spray she always carried in her pocket, two arms wrapped around her waist. A scream caught in her throat as she looked down at muscular biceps that trapped her arms to her sides and lifted her completely off the ground. Before she had time to even kick or react, he tossed her like a rag doll and kept running.

  Her body tumbled down the hillside, picking up speed. As rocks and tree stumps beat into her sides and shoulders, she tried to grab onto anything that would help her stop. When her body rammed into the base of a tree, pain shot through her ribs and everything went black.

  ***

  Shuffling noises invaded her ears. Something crunched near her head. A twig snapped. Voices in a far-off tunnel murmured. Was someone saying her name? An elephant sat on her chest, making it difficult to breathe. She blinked and looked around. Fuzzy images of people, lots of them, surrounded her. Her focus cleared a bit and she saw two large men in blue uniforms. She groaned. Not more police. She’d had enough of them for a while.

  “She’s moving,” a deep voice said.

  “Hey, T. Can you hear me?”

  Mike. She turned her head. Mike’s face filled her vision. He squatted beside her, gently wiping her hair from her face.

  “Mike,” she moaned. Every muscle in her body ached. No more talking. Talking hurt too much.

  “Shhh. Just stay still. They’re going to put you on a gurney and get you out of here, okay?”

  A searing pain shot through her head as she nodded. Like floating in a dream, her body was lifted and then strapped down with care. The blue uniformed men she saw before lifted the plank she was on without effort and carried her up the hillside back toward the trail. Firemen, not policemen. She must have looked like a baby doll in a carrier next to the huge men. The one above her head said, “Just relax, ma’am. We’ll get you up safely.” He had dark, wavy hair just like Ben’s.

  “Ben.” The name slipped from her lips.

  The fireman looked at Mike, who walked beside them. She could see his bright shorts out of the corner of her eye. “Who’s Ben?” he asked.

  “It’s a long story,” Mike answered, watching his step and staying as close to her as he could.

  She smiled and then promptly fell asleep.

  ***

  Ben opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. The bed beneath him felt soft, but not familiar in any way. Not the way his own bed should feel.

  When he’d reached the address from his ID the night before, he hadn’t thought about not having a way to get inside. Just as he’d contemplated breaking a window, something told him to check the doorframe above the back door. Sure enough, he’d found a key and let himself in.

  Cautiously, he’d made his way through the house. He hated the uneasy feeling he had about the whole situation. He thought he should feel good about finding out his identity, but something was off.

  The house was not welcoming in any way. Small, with only two bedrooms and one bath, it was in a bad part of town. A sofa with no legs and a small television were all that sat in the living room, and a card table and two folding chairs posed as a makeshift kitchen table set. One bedroom was empty and another held only a double bed and a small nightstand, a lamp with no lampshade sitting on top. The closet held a few shirts, shorts, and jeans, with a stack of boxers and some socks on the floor. An empty black duffel bag sat lifeless on the top shelf.

  He’d showered and crawled right into bed, physically exhausted, but mentally wide-awake. When his right hand had reached under the pillow and grabbed hold of a gun, his mind spun out of control.

  He fingered the gun now as he lay on his back, trying to wrap his head around all that had happened. Nothing in this house sparked any memory for him. It only seemed to confuse him more.

  The place was hollow and lonely, just like he was. His entire being ached for Tess. Her bright smile and calming presence seemed worlds away.

  The cell phone he’d bought at the train station rang, snapping him from his thoughts. He snatched it from the nightstand and answered.

  “Ben, it’s Mike.”

  He sat up in bed. Something was wrong.

  “What is it?”

  “It’s Tess. She’s in the hospital. She’s hurt pretty bad.”

  “I’m on my way.” He snapped the phone shut, dressed, and threw all the clothes from the closet into the duffel bag. Pausing for a moment, he looked at the pillow on the bed. Grabbing the gun from underneath, he shoved it into the bottom of the bag and left.

  Chapter 8

  Every mile stretched for hours as Ben drove the rental car along the freeway. He’d called Mike back when he got on the road and found out more about Tess’s accident. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel. Anger pulsed through him at the thought of anyone laying a hand on her. Mike said she wasn’t awake yet, so they didn’t know the details of how she’d fallen down the hill, but the police on the scene suspected foul play. He thought of the gun in his bag. He would protect Tess. Always.

  Something connected them. He didn’t want to be without her. He watched his speed as he drove, anxious to get to her, but making sure he didn’t get a ticket or in another accident.

  He thought of a conversation he’d had with Mike. He’d come into the kitchen to find Mike reading his Bible at the counter. Mike asked Ben if he had a relationship with God. Uncomfortable didn’t even begin to describe how the question made him feel. He played the amnesia card to get himself out of really answering and Mike had let the subject die. He did, however, see Mike and Emma praying together and envied the connection they had. He wanted the same thing with Tess.

  As he pulled into a parking spot at the hospital, his heart sent up a prayer for Tess’s recovery and safety. Whether God heard him or not, he didn’t know. But he figured it was worth a try. He had nothing to lose.

  He made his way through the sliding glass doors and toward Tess’s room. Mike had told him her room number. The hospital was small. That was good. He didn’t like hospitals. They were like labyrinths. Too easy to get lost in or trapped. He stopped and shook his head. What made him think that? His brain was like a filing cabinet. Old drawers locked tight, new ones filling up with information every day. Focusing once again on Tess, he found her room and pushed open the door.

  An IV tube ran from her left hand. Her arms were bandaged. A wave of fury flowed through him. He clenched his fists and fought back the desire to pummel anyone who got in his path.

  A firm hand grabbed his arm. Turning, he looked into Mike’s eyes and relaxed. “Ben. Hey.” Mike seemed to sense his tension.

  “Hi, Ben.” Emma came up and gave him a big hug, wrapping her arms tightly around his middle. His arms were stiff by his sides, but her embrace calmed him and he be
gan to breathe normally again. Much taller than Tess, she didn’t fit against him the same way.

  She stepped back and gave him a weary smile, then claimed an empty seat by Tess’s bedside. “I’m sorry. I guess we should call you Jake.”

  “No. I prefer Ben.”

  He ignored the look between Mike and Emma. He didn’t care. Tess called him Ben. That was the name he wanted.

  Taking a deep breath, he said to Mike, “What happened?”

  Mike motioned for Ben to take the chair opposite Emma’s on the other side of Tess’s bed. As he sat down, he took Tess’s hand in his and rubbed his thumb across the top. He shook his head. This tiny, amazing woman. Just knowing she existed made him want to be a better man.

  “Well, like I told you on the phone, until she wakes up, we’re not exactly sure.” Mike stood behind Emma’s chair and rubbed her shoulders. She leaned into him and took one of his hands in her own, kissing his fingers. “I dropped her off at the base of a running trail and was gonna come back and pick her up after about an hour or so. When I got back, I couldn’t find her anywhere, so I called the cops and they sent out a search party. We found her down the hillside all beat up. She apparently rolled down off the trail somehow.”

  Ben continued to rub Tess’s hand. He clenched his other into a fist, trying to maintain control.

  “You said the police think it might not have been an accident.” His voice shook.

  “That trail isn’t wide, but Tess knows it well. I told them I didn’t see how she could have just slipped off the edge. And the police said there were two sets of footprints leading up to where she fell off and then only one after that. Big footprints. Not Tess’s.”

  Tess groaned. The three friends leaned towards her in anticipation.