Remember Me (Men of Honor Series Book 1)

by Lara Van Hulzen

  “I’m just glad you’re okay.” Her smile melted his heart. She squeezed his hand and then let it go when they reached the steps to the deck.

  “Hey, I have an idea,” Emma said as she and Mike came up the sand with the surfboards. “Why don’t we all get showered and changed, and Tess and I will make dinner. We can sit out here and eat. Enjoy the evening.”

  “Sounds great, babe.” Mike gave her a kiss on the cheek and then headed around to the garage to put the boards away.

  “I think that’s a perfect idea,” Tess agreed. “Let me help you with those.” She took her board from Emma, and they made their way around the house. Ben watched her go, his heart breaking as she went.

  ***

  The waves rolled in, adding a peaceful background to their dinner. Mike’s side of the deck held a small table with four chairs where the two couples dove into pasta with meat sauce, salad, and garlic bread laid out family style.

  Ben took a sip of water and leaned back in his chair. Emma was talking to Tess about flowers for the wedding. Tess swirled noodles around her fork and took a bite, listening to her friend. She looked happy and content.

  He thought of all the planning they had done and how excited Tess was for their wedding. It made his stomach ache to think of how she must have felt when he left her. When he walked away from the life they had, the life they wanted to build together.

  He knew she’d fled San Diego about a month after and started her life over, but he could only get tidbits of her life from afar, not the details, and it cut his heart into pieces. Seeing her now, how well she was doing, he didn’t want that to change. He never wanted to hurt her ever again.

  But if he was going to protect her, he needed answers now more than ever.

  “You okay?” Mike asked. He refilled Ben’s water glass for him.

  “Yeah. Thanks.” Ben took a swig. “I was just thinking.”

  “Careful. That can be dangerous.” Mike winked at him.

  “Tell me about it.” Ben gave his friend a half smile.

  “How are you feeling? You took in a decent amount of salt water today.”

  “Actually, I feel great. Mainly just tired.” Ben looked at Tess and Emma, their heads together, now talking babies. He watched Tess’s face for any sign of sadness or regret for the future Ben had taken from her. They’d talked about having kids, but never decided on a number. Just open to what God would give them.

  Afraid he would blurt something right then and there about his love for her and recovering his memory, Ben stood up. He had to get out of there. Get some space to think. “Thank you so much for dinner. It was fantastic, as always. But I think I’ll turn in early. I’m beat.” He picked up his plate and glass from the table and took them into Tess’s kitchen.

  Much to his chagrin, he heard Tess’s footsteps as she followed him inside. He rinsed his plate and cup and placed them in the dishwasher.

  “You okay?” Her voice had always been like a salve for his soul, but right now it only made his heart ache more. He loved her so much and there were just too many secrets between them. Secrets Ben had to keep for now, for her safety.

  He turned and pulled her into his arms, the only way he knew to avoid her eyes. “I’m fine. Really. Just tired. Can I see you tomorrow?”

  “Of course.” Her breath against his chest was warm.

  “Do you mind if I take you to work and pick you up? I need to use a car, if that’s okay.”

  “Absolutely. You know you can anytime.”

  “Perfect.” He kissed her forehead. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  He let her go and headed to Mike’s before she could easily persuade him to stay longer. Saying a quick “goodnight” to Mike and Emma as he passed, he went straight to his room and picked up his cell phone.

  He paced the room and dialed a number, in awe of how fast everything had come back to him.

  “This is Dane,” a man’s voice said.

  “Dane. It’s Ben.”

  “Ben! Where have you been? I’ve been trying like crazy to find you.”

  “I got in an accident and had amnesia.”

  Dane laughed. “That’s a good one, even for you.”

  “I’m dead serious, Dane. I’ve had amnesia. Just today I remembered everything. And I really need your help. Tess and I are in big trouble.”

  Chapter 11

  Tess curled her feet up under her and looked out the window. The wind had picked up, causing the waves to crash, making them more dangerous than peaceful. What happened earlier that day flashed in her mind. She shivered. Ben and Mike both could have been lost to the sea.

  Snuggling a blanket up around her, she tried to focus on the book in her lap but couldn’t. Something wasn’t right with Ben. They’d always had an unexplainable connection. Able to sense when something was wrong, even when they weren’t near each other.

  The look on his face before he fell off his surfboard that afternoon was not just because he’d lost his balance. He was too good a surfer for that. Something distracted him. But what?

  She burrowed further down under the blanket and fell asleep.

  ***

  Ben continued to pace as he held the phone to his ear. He could hear Mike and Emma moving around the living room downstairs, so he tried to keep his voice down. Not an easy task. He was as riled as a wild bear—and Dane wasn’t any calmer.

  “Tess? You said you and Tess are in trouble—how are you with her?”

  “I came up here to check on her. I just…I just wanted to make sure she was all right. I got in a car accident and lost my memory.”

  “You have got to be kidding me.”

  “I know. And it gets better. I ended up in the ER at the hospital where she works. I was her patient.”

  Dane’s laughter floated through the phone. “Oh man, you can’t make this stuff up.”

  “You have no idea. Her neighbor and good friend let me stay in his townhouse with him. At first I didn’t understand why Tess was being so nice and helpful. Now I know.”

  The thought of Tess’s kindness tore at his heart. With all that he put her through, she could have easily walked away and made him fend for himself. She should have done that. But she wouldn’t—she was too tenderhearted. It was one of the many reasons he loved her.

  “And you just remembered everything today?” Dane asked.

  “Yeah. We were surfing, and I looked over at her and it just…hit me.”

  “So did you tell her?”

  “No. I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”

  “Hmmm, you think with your past together, keeping this from her might not be smart?”

  Ben rubbed his beard and sat down hard on the end of the bed. He ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath. Dane was his closest friend and worked with him in San Diego on the police force. He understood the challenges that came with the job. He went to the same church as Ben. Dane would’ve been his best man at the wedding and knew the situation better than anyone.

  “Honest to God, I just don’t know. My head feels like it was empty a few hours ago, and now it’s so full, I can hardly think straight.”

  “Your head was always pretty empty,” Dane teased.

  Ben smiled at the friendly ribbing.

  “I wonder why Tess didn’t just tell me the truth?”

  “Think about it, Ben. If she did and you didn’t remember, then you might not have believed her. Or you might have remembered, and then she’d have to face what happened all over again. My guess is she was confused as hell about what to do.”

  “You’ve got a point.”

  “It’s just a guess.”

  “It’s a pretty good one.” Ben took a deep breath and let it out slow. “What a mess.”

  “That’s an understatement. We haven’t even talked about Menendez yet.”

  Ben stood up. He gripped the phone and paced again.

  “What about him? He doesn’t know where I am, does he?”

  “I’m not sure y
et. If he knows you were in a car accident, he may think you’re dead. Were you followed?”

  “I don’t think so, no. I left my cell phone back in San Diego so he couldn’t track me. And I used cash to rent a car. I was only going to drive up here, see that Tess was fine, and go back. I never imagined anything like this.”

  “Like I said, you can’t make up the story you just told me.”

  “Maybe if he thinks I’m dead, this whole mess will be over.”

  “That’s wishful thinking, but who knows? I’ll see what I can find out here. You sit tight. If you’ve been there a few days with no sign of trouble, that could potentially be good news. Maybe he does think you’re dead, and he’s moving on.”

  Ben thought about Tess’s accident, but decided to wait to tell Dane until he could find out more information.

  “Ben. Sit tight. I’ll be in touch. For now, just be cautious and lay low.”

  “Thanks, Dane.”

  “Anytime.”

  Ben ended the connection and tossed the phone on the bed.

  He was too wired to go to bed early like he’d said. He’d heard Mike leave to take Emma home, so he threw on some running shorts and tennis shoes, snuck out the back door, and headed down the beach. A good, long run was exactly what he needed.

  ***

  An hour later, Ben headed toward the house, the back porch light a beacon in the night, guiding him home. Home. Funny that he saw it that way now. But his heart knew that anywhere Tess was would be his home. He’d had plenty of time to think while running, and the sound of his footsteps and breathing in the night air had cleared his mind. He couldn’t leave her again. No matter what happened.

  As he got closer to the back deck, he noticed Tess’s back glass door was cracked just enough for someone to sneak through. His adrenaline kicked in, and he sprinted for her house. He was almost to the back steps when her scream filled the night air. The hair on his arms stood on end and he vaulted the four steps in one jump. He bounded through the back door just in time to see a man with a black hooded sweatshirt race through the front hall and out the door.

  Ben stopped just long enough to look at Tess, who sat wide-eyed on the couch, staring at him. His eyes searched hers and she nodded, telling him she was fine. He ran for the front and out the door. He looked in every direction, but the man was nowhere to be seen. The guy was gone.

  ***

  Ben jogged up and down the street a few times, but the man had vanished. His pulse raced through his veins, as much from physical exertion as fear. There was no way Menendez thought he was dead. He was after him. And Tess.

  Tess.

  He ran to her house and through the front door. She stood in the kitchen, waiting in the corner. The Beretta gripped in her right hand by her side. The back door now closed and locked. Her eyes were wide and alert. Memories swirled once more in his head. Times he’d spent teaching her how to defend herself. How to shoot a gun. What to do if an intruder entered the house. He worried about her because of her size, but any attacker would be unpleasantly surprised by how strong and resourceful Tess was.

  “Did you find him?”

  “No. He’s gone.” Ben closed the gap between them and held her tight. Her body slowly relaxed in his grip. She wrapped her arms around his waist, the handle of the gun poking into his back.

  He’d taught her self-defense moves in case of an emergency. But he’d caused this. He brought this on them. On her. His stomach turned.

  He pulled back from her and put out his hand. “Give me the gun.”

  She complied. The cold steel against his hand sent a punch to his gut. Because of him, Tess now stood holding a gun in her own kitchen. He had to fix this.

  “Are you okay?”

  Her voice shook him from his thoughts.

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” He set the gun on the counter and ran a hand through his hair. Scratching his chest and finding nothing between his hand and skin reminded him he wore only shorts and tennis shoes.

  “Let me get you a shirt.” Tess could always tell what he was thinking. It was weird. In a good way.

  She went to the laundry room and returned with the shirt she was wearing the day he knocked on her door to wake her up. Seeing her in it then hadn’t sparked any memories, only a desire for her. A desire he couldn’t explain then, but could now. It was his shirt. One she stole long ago because she liked to sleep in it. She said it smelled like him and kept him close even when he wasn’t with her. His insides churned once more. After all he’d done, she still kept his shirt.

  Maybe that meant they had a chance.

  “Do you always have men’s shirts lying around your house?”

  The comment brought about the bright red in her cheeks his teasing intended. “It’s just an old…friend’s.”

  Then again, maybe not. Who was he kidding? As loving as Tess was, forgiving him of everything would never happen. He could never ask or expect that of her. He looked at the shirt now in his hands.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Her eyes were such deep green. Eyes he got lost in all the time. “What do you mean?”

  “You have a funny look on your face. You don’t have to wear that if you don’t want to. I just thought you…might want a shirt.” Her eyes avoided his naked chest.

  “No. It’s fine. Thanks.” He turned toward the back door if only to avoid her searching look and put on the shirt. Keeping the truth from her that his memory returned would be much harder than he thought.

  “I’ll put the gun away.”

  He turned, hands on his hips. “No. I want to keep it out. I’ll check the perimeter every hour or so in case he comes back. I’ll want that near me.”

  She cocked her head. Her eyes narrowed.

  No words were necessary. He knew exactly what she was thinking. He’d sounded too much like a cop. Man, this was going to be hard.

  “I just meant that I want to walk around in a little while and make sure he doesn’t try to get in again.”

  She shrugged, appeased for the moment with his change in words. “I’m not sure why. If it was a robber, I’m pretty sure you ran him off for good. But, suit yourself.” She moved behind the kitchen counter. “You want some coffee?”

  “Sure. That sounds great.” He took a seat on the sofa, placing the gun on the end table within his reach. Tess had sat there only minutes before, helpless and alone while that creep lurked in her house. Near her, watching her. The hair on the back of his neck stood at attention. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, his fingers steepled together. Trying to keep a calm façade for Tess’s sake while his thoughts raced was tough. Why would Menendez send some hooded thug into her house? That wasn’t his MO.

  A steaming mug of coffee in front of his vision distracted him from his thoughts.

  “Thank you.” He took the mug from her. His fingers brushed against hers, sending a jolt through his system. A few days ago he questioned why she affected him so. Now he knew. A part of him wished for that ignorance again. No. He couldn’t think that way. Knowing the truth was his best chance at protecting her. Protecting them both.

  “I brought you a water bottle too.” She handed it to him as she sat beside him on the sofa. “You went running, I assume, so you need it.”

  “Thanks.” He set his mug on the end table and took a swig of water. That was better. She was right. His body needed the hydration. The caffeine in the coffee would help him stay awake, alert to what the night might bring. Hopefully, nothing. He needed time to think. Go over what Menendez was doing. What was his plan?

  “Penny for your thoughts.” She smiled, then took a sip of her coffee. It was in a big jug full of ice. She drank coffee iced almost all the time, no matter how cold it was outside. He used to tease her about it. He preferred Red Bull himself. A staple drink for long nights on the job.

  On instinct he almost replied, “They’re always yours for free,” but the words caught in his throat. That was an inside joke between them. If he said it now, she’d know
he remembered.

  Changing the subject was his best defense. “You sure you wanna drink all that at night? You’ll be wired for sound.”

  She giggled. “It’s decaf. I was sleeping soundly when my little…visitor...and you so rudely woke me up.”

  “Oh really? Well, I’m sorry if my valiant effort to protect you interrupted your beauty sleep, Princess,” he teased.

  Her laughter filled the air and filled his chest with warmth. There was nothing better than hearing her laugh.

  He patted the couch next to him. “Here. Lie down and I will keep watch over you while you sleep in peace once more, Fair Lady.”

  She giggled again as she curled up with her head in his lap. He pulled the blanket over her, tucking it in tight against her tiny frame.

  “You must be fearless.” He leaned back against the sofa cushion, his hand moving to her hair, stroking it away from her face.

  “Why do you say that?” Her breath was warm against his leg. His toes tingled.

  “You didn’t seem afraid of that guy at all.”

  “Well, to be honest, you came just as I woke up and found him here. I’m not sure what would have happened if you hadn’t shown up when you did.”

  The thought brought a shiver to his spine. His gut clenched.

  “I’m glad I did then.”

  “Yeah. Me too.” He felt her cheek move against his leg, evidence of her smile.

  It wasn’t long before her breathing was even and he knew she’d fallen asleep. Glad she was resting again, he took the time to think. Everything at that moment felt so right. Tess near him, in his protection. Peace. Calm. Quiet. But he knew better. Danger lurked out there somewhere, and he needed to get to it before it got to them.

  Chapter 12

  Ben looked out toward the ocean through the large glass doors. The white caps of the waves shone in the moonlight, the wind still strong, but no real storm had arrived yet. Ironic. The winds of his life had picked up and were causing waves, but the real storm was still out there somewhere, waiting to hit. If only he knew when.