Remember Me (Men of Honor Series Book 1)

by Lara Van Hulzen

  Tess’s Bible sat open on the end table. She must have been reading it when she fell asleep. He ran his fingers over the whisper-thin pages. How long had it been since he’d searched those pages for guidance? Tess always said Ben was her strength, her calm. But she was his, so much more than he ever told her. Consistent in her faith, never wavering, where Ben tossed around like the waves outside.

  He laid his head back against the sofa. The ceiling was vaulted, the fan up high moving at a snail’s pace. Spinning aimlessly, just like him. His parents’ faces flashed before him, and his entire being ached to forget the call from Dane saying there’d been an accident.

  His father had been a retired cop, his mother a schoolteacher. She could have retired but refused. Her classroom was her mission field, and the kids in the bad neighborhood where they lived needed her.

  His dad was picking her up after school one day when a drug deal around the corner went wrong and shots were fired. Both his mother and father were caught in the crossfire. Collateral damage. He’d used that phrase countless times as a cop, but it meant nothing until the people he loved fell into the category.

  His boss told him to take as much time off as he needed, but Ben continued to work. An only child, he had no family left. He had Tess. But even she couldn’t pull him from the dark place he’d spiraled into.

  When the undercover job came about, he took it without a second thought. Dane discouraged him from it, knew it wasn’t what he needed. But Ben wouldn’t listen. He shut everyone out and moved on. He shut Tess out too.

  “What was I thinking?” His whisper echoed in the quiet room. He looked down at her now, the blanket rising and falling with each breath. The moonlight hit her face just right, showing off her sun-kissed cheeks and nose. A few freckles poked out, making her cherub face seem childlike.

  But there was nothing childish about her. His eyes wandered down farther, appreciating her curves beneath the blanket. A woman’s curves were a mystery to be desired but also guarded. Because of their faith, he and Tess had decided to save themselves for marriage. A definite challenge, but a worthwhile one, and they worked hard to honor that commitment.

  He wanted to honor Tess. Needed to. Which meant he needed to move. Now. Before he did something he regretted. Not that he would ever regret being with Tess. He wanted nothing more. But he would regret doing so before the right time. And so would she.

  Mike’s soft knock on the glass door took him from his thoughts.

  Oh, man. Mike and Emma. He hadn’t even thought about how this whole mess might affect them. It wasn’t just about Tess’s safety now, but theirs as well.

  Ben slid away from Tess, careful not to disturb her slumber. He placed a sofa pillow under her head. She stirred but stayed asleep. He unlocked the back door and Mike stepped in, eyeing the gun on the end table with a raised brow. “Is there something I need to know about?”

  “You want some coffee?” Ben moved into the kitchen while Mike took a seat at the counter.

  “Sure. But that doesn’t get you out of answering my question.”

  “Someone broke into Tess’s house tonight.” It was the truth. But Ben had no intention of elaborating or sharing why he thought someone was in her house.

  “Are you kidding me?” Mike accepted the mug from Ben and took a sip. “That’s insane. This place is so safe. You know. We leave our doors wide open most of the time.”

  “Yeah, I know.” Ben filled his own mug with fresh coffee and took a sip. “Maybe for now, you shouldn’t.”

  “It was probably just some kid trying to see if he could snag some jewelry or a DVD player or something.”

  If only Ben had more faith in mankind the way Mike did. But he’d seen enough in his job to know that not every crime was just some punk kid fooling around. And his gut told him this particular situation was much more.

  Mike eyed the gun again. “I didn’t even know she had that thing until Emma told me about the day you guys found her in the shower and thought she was a burglar.”

  Ben was about to say how it was okay since he’d taught Tess everything she needed to know about gun safety, but stopped himself. He took another sip of coffee. “I’m glad she has it. Especially after tonight.”

  Mike turned and looked at Tess then back at Ben. “Do you really think she’s in some kind of danger?”

  Ben turned and put his coffee mug in the sink. He didn’t want to lie. Mike had become a good friend. But he hadn’t decided yet how much anyone should know.

  “I’m not sure.” Not the full story, but enough for now. He retrieved the gun. “Can you hang out here for a few minutes? I’m just going to walk around outside.”

  “You really think the guy’s gonna come back?” Mike’s looked at Ben with wide eyes.

  “Better safe than sorry.”

  As he walked the perimeter of both townhouses, Ben rolled things over in his mind. When Tess had left San Diego and headed north to start a new life, his heart ached again over hurting her, but he knew it was for the best. The farther away from Menendez she was, the better. Going under cover was risky on a lot of levels, but keeping Tess safe was always his top priority. Even though that meant breaking her heart.

  He had to find out what Menendez was up to, what he was thinking. He needed to talk to Dane. And above all, he needed to protect Tess. He knew he could guard her physically, but what about her heart? He couldn’t live through hurting her once more. He’d have to figure out a way, and fast.

  ***

  Tess woke the next morning, the smell of fresh coffee tickling her senses. And what was the other scent? Bacon? She had to be dreaming.

  “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

  Ben smiled at her from across the room. He sat perched on a kitchen counter stool reading the paper. A plate of bacon and eggs in front of him.

  “You ready for some breakfast?”

  She sat up on the sofa and rubbed her eyes. “Did I sleep here all night?”

  “You sure did. Slept like a baby.”

  “Were you here the whole night?”

  “Yes. Mike came in last night and I told him what happened. We hung out on the porch most of the night. He went home about fifteen minutes ago.” He looked at his watch. “I checked the house and the outside every hour or so.”

  “You didn’t have to do that.” She sat up, rubbing sleep from her eyes. “Did you get any sleep?”

  “No, but that’s okay. Mike and I drank Red Bull all night. That did the trick.” He winked.

  Red Bull. His favorite drink. Did he remember that or was it a coincidence?

  “Let me get you some breakfast.” He moved around the counter into the kitchen and began whipping eggs in a bowl. “I made you coffee too. It’s all ready to pour over ice.”

  Tess shook her head, still fuzzy from sleep. She could sure get used to this kind of life with Ben. Simple. Comfortable. Safe. But what kind of future would they have if he never remembered? She couldn’t live with that kind of deceit, and it wasn’t fair to expect him to either. After her shift at work today, she’d tell him. Talk to him. He needed to know so he could make a decision about his future based on the truth.

  “You okay if I borrow your car today? I can take you to work and pick you up.”

  His voice invaded her thoughts. “Huh? Yeah. Sure.” She stood and headed for the iced coffee he held out to her. “Sorry. Still waking up.”

  “I understand.” He kissed her forehead and went back to making her food.

  She sat at the kitchen counter and sipped her drink, letting the coolness flow through her, waking her senses. Oh yeah, she could definitely get used to this.

  ***

  Ben guided Tess’s TTS Roadster down the freeway, grateful for a car with speed. Tess was working a twelve-hour shift. Just enough time for him to get down to San Diego and talk to Dane, check out his house, and return in time to pick her up.

  He had plenty of time to think as he drove. Carlos Menendez was the reason for all his misery. The reason hi
s parents were dead, and now the reason things were so messed up with Tess. He slammed his hand against the steering wheel. No. He had to take responsibility. Yes, one of Carlos’s men pulled the trigger that killed his parents, but Ben chose to take the undercover job to get revenge. At the time, he wanted nothing more than to have Carlos Menendez behind bars. But not now. Having Tess back in his life, seeing all he could have had if he’d stayed with her and built a life. He needed to bury his past and move forward. But simply walking away from Menendez wasn’t possible.

  He pulled into the drive of the rundown shack he called home while undercover. Aware of how Tess’s car stood out in that kind of neighborhood spurred him to move quickly. He didn’t want any attention drawn and certainly didn’t want Menendez to know he was here.

  He moved through the house, grabbing what he needed. His badge was hidden in a kitchen drawer, the cell phone he used to contact Carlos in the bedroom dresser. He looked at the screen. Ten missed calls. Two were from Carlos, the rest were from Sophia.

  Sophia.

  He’d completely forgotten about her. Tucking the phone in his pocket, he locked the front door and got in the car. He couldn’t think about her right now. He’d talk to Dane, get an update, and then decide what to do from there.

  He’d made such a mess of things. He shook his head. Mess wasn’t even a good enough word to describe what he was in. Tsunami was more like it.

  ***

  Ben pulled into the parking lot of the police station, knowing no one would recognize him in Tess’s car. However, a car like hers would draw attention, no matter what. He drove around back and parked behind a big truck.

  Taking the steps two at a time, he made his way through the back entrance without being noticed. A symphony of ringing phones, footsteps, and murmuring voices bounced off the tile floor. He missed this place. Turning a corner, he bumped straight into Dane.

  “Hey man!” Dane’s look of surprise turned into a pleasant smile.

  The two men shook hands and exchanged a bear hug. “Man, it’s good to see you.” Ben had missed his friend, but didn’t realize how much until that moment.

  “It’s good to see you too.” Dane waved him toward a door across the hall. “Let’s talk in here.”

  They entered a small room that held a conference table with six chairs. The two men sat across from one another. It was good to see Dane. His short, dark hair and black, wide-rimmed glasses sat perfectly in place. The other detectives teased him that he looked like a desk jockey. His sport coat and dress shirt never mussed. The western-looking belt buckle he always wore with jeans and boots didn’t help either. The guys were relentless in their ribbing over that. Dane took it all in stride. Always calm and cool. Said the glasses made him look smart. The other guys were just jealous because they were slobs.

  Man, he missed this place.

  “What are you doing here? I told you I’d call you when I could.” Dane’s comments brought Ben back to the room, the old black conference table cold beneath his fingers.

  “I know. I just needed to come back for a few things and thought I’d stop in and see you, get an update in person.”

  Dane shook his head. “That’s a risk, man, and you know it. If Menendez sees you anywhere near this place, your cover’s blown.”

  “My cover may be blown already.”

  Dane leaned back in his chair. His hands settled on his belt buckle, his fingers linked together. “That’s true, but I don’t think so.”

  “What do you know?”

  “Well, rumor has it that Carlos thinks you either ran scared or you’re dead. Either way, he doesn’t seem too worried about you.”

  “You really think he would just be done with me that fast?”

  “You found enough on him to bust him, but only minor charges that would lock him away for a minimum amount of time. Maybe he thinks you tucked your tail and ran. Just another wannabe dealer who couldn’t hack it.”

  Ben leaned back and rubbed his beard. “That seems too easy. Besides, that wouldn’t explain all that’s been happening to Tess.”

  “Tess? What’s Tess got to do with this?”

  It was time for Dane to know everything. Ben filled him in about her so-called accident and the guy breaking into her house.

  “Yeah. That sounds fishy at best. But not exactly how Menendez usually works.”

  “That was my thought too.” Ben leaned toward his friend. “Look. I’ve gotta go. I need to get back before Tess suspects anything. Keep me posted on anything you hear, okay?”

  The two men stood. “Of course. And you do the same.” They shook hands. “Be careful, Ben. I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

  “Yeah. Me too.”

  Chapter 13

  Tess closed a file and placed it in the stack with the others.

  “Done!” She patted the pile with satisfaction.

  “Well, aren’t we Miss Perky today,” Gwen teased. Tess spun in her chair to face her boss.

  “I don’t know about perky, but I think my coffee has definitely kicked in.” She giggled.

  “I think there’s more than coffee responsible for this mood.” Gwen took her glasses off her nose and let them hang from the chain around her neck. “This has something to do with Lumberjack Boy.”

  Gwen knew Ben’s name. She also knew he’d become a part of Tess’s life. But Gwen loved to call him Lumberjack. Tess thought it was a sweet endearment, so she let the older woman have her fun.

  “Maybe.” Tess winked.

  “Well, well. The lady doesn’t even protest too much, if at all. That’s interesting.”

  Tess leaned back in her chair. “Now, don’t go letting your mind get crazy on me, Gwen. I’m not sure what the future holds for me, or Ben. But I’m sure it’s not some crazy ending like one of the romance novels we’re always reading.”

  Gwen laughed. “Go ahead. Make fun. But those stories are good, and I think some could be true!”

  “The stories are good, but you’re a hopeless romantic, my friend.”

  “Guilty.” Gwen winked and grabbed a file from the desk. “I’ll be in Room 210 if you need me.”

  “Got it, boss.”

  Tess spun her chair back around to face the desk. It had been a good work shift. Not too many patients coming through, which was a good thing. She didn’t wish an ER visit on anyone. But there was enough to keep her mind busy and not entirely on a certain lumberjack.

  Gwen was right. Ben was the reason for her good mood. But every time she thought of telling him the truth about his past, her stomach turned. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea. Things were good between them – great even. Would it be so bad if they just moved forward without dwelling on the past?

  Who was she kidding? She couldn’t have a future with Ben without her family and friends knowing.

  Her phone dinged in her purse, alerting her to a text message. Maybe it was Ben.

  She got out her phone and checked the screen.

  Call me as soon as you get this.

  “Was she reading my thoughts?” Tess spoke to the phone as if her sister could actually hear her. Frowning, she dialed her little sister’s number and waited for her to pick up. Aimee didn’t say it was an emergency, but she rarely just told Tess to call without saying why.

  Aimee answered after one ring. “Hey, Sis. Can you talk?”

  “Yeah, sure. It’s quiet here for the moment. What’s up? Are Mom and Dad okay? Is it Grace?” Their older sister was pregnant with her first baby. Tess made a mental note to call her soon as well and check in.

  “Oh, yeah. Everyone here is totally fine. Sorry. I should have said that.” Papers rustled in the background and Aimee whispered, “Sure. I’ll get to that in a sec.”

  Tess could see her sister, long auburn curls pulled up into a clip, glasses askew, papers strewn across her desk. Aimee worked as a sketch artist for the police. An artist with her hands in eight different projects at a time.

  “Can you talk right now?”

  �
��Ugh. Sorry. Yes I can. I just got back home and sat down at my desk to work, and my roommate needed something. Sorry. I’m here. Talk.”

  Tess laughed. Since they were little girls, Aimee was always a bundle of energy, able to do eighteen things at once. However, if she tried for nineteen, her focus sometimes got off track. Tenacious didn’t even begin to describe her.

  “You told me to call, remember? This conversation is yours.”

  “Oh. Yeah. Right. Well, I’m not sure how to say this so I’m just gonna blurt it out. I think I saw Ben down at the police department today.”

  Tess’s good mood took a nosedive.

  Aimee filled the silence. “At first I thought it was just my eyes acting funny, but I had my glasses on. And then I noticed him walking away from a car that looked just like yours. That can’t be right though, Sis. Why would he be driving your car? And what the heck is he doing here, anyway? I thought he was off gallivanting over Europe, trying to find himself.”

  Aimee’s words flew around Tess’s head like bees. The buzzing was there, but nothing was landing. Ben was in San Diego? “Tess? Are you there?” Aimee’s voice brought her from her thoughts.

  “Yes. I’m here. Sorry. Um, I’m not sure what to say. I have no idea why he would be there.”

  “What about your car?”

  “Maybe it was just another car that looked like mine.” She didn’t keep secrets from her sister, but she sure didn’t want to talk about Ben and the past few days just yet. Not until she knew herself what was going to happen.

  “Hmmm. Maybe. I just think it seems fishy, that’s all.”

  Ben said he needed her car today, but why wouldn’t he tell her he was going to San Diego? He was probably trying to find out more information about Jake Wilson. A headache formed in the back of her skull and crept its way forward. She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead.

  “Hey, Sis, thanks for calling. I’ve gotta go. And don’t think anything of it. I’m sure it was just a coincidence.”