A Rogue's Surrender: Regency Novellas

by Lauren Smith

  Getting dressed, she made her way down to breakfast. Before last night, it had never occurred to her that Loudoun might be right. That she actually was bad for him. If that really was true, she’d have to let him go. She would never do anything to hurt him and she had her own agenda. It was time to stop dallying with Loudoun and focus on her plan.

  Making her way the to the breakfast room, she knew she was late but was still surprised to find it empty.

  Seating herself, she poured a cup to tea and then helped herself to a pastry. The sound of voices in the hall caught her attention.

  “You’ll think about my proposal?” William Wurts Senior’s voice floated into the room.

  Loudoun entered and closed the door behind him with more force than necessary.

  “Is everything all right?” she looked up at him.

  Surprise flitted across his features but it quickly turned to concern. “You’ve been crying.”

  “No, I…I mean…how can you tell?” She slumped in her chair, clearly not fooling anyone.

  He came to stand next to her, his hand caressing her cheek. “You’re all puffy, sweetheart. Still beautiful, but not yourself. Please tell me I didn’t do this to you.”

  May couldn’t look at him. She didn’t like lying, never had, but she didn’t want to hurt him either. She couldn’t be angry at him for trying to maintain his sobriety and she needed to put some distance between them. “You were right about me being childish. I’m learning some valuable lessons,” she whispered. “I understand why we wouldn’t be right for each other.”

  He was silent and part of her was tempted to look at him, but if she did he’d see the pain and the yearning evident on her face. After several seconds he bent down so they were face to face. “What does that mean?”

  “I’ll always care about you, Loudoun, but we shouldn’t spend time together. I’m beginning to understand that I’m no good—”

  “No one is as good as you.” His sharp, clipped tones made her jolt in surprise.

  “But you’ve said it yourself, I’m no good for you.” Tears were forming again.

  “No, sweetheart, I’m no good for you. But Wurts, he’s no good either.” His face formed into hard rigid lines.

  “Wait, what?” She searched his face for answers but it just grew harder.

  “Wurts Junior wants your hand and Wurts Senior has now made it a stipulation in the contract. I’ve worked tirelessly for the deal and now they’re going to destroy it over—”

  “Why would it be destroyed?”

  “Barrett would never agree.” His features softened slightly. “And neither would I, for that matter.”

  “But the deal, it will fall through?” She absolutely hated to see someone she loved lose something they wanted. She was talking about Barrett, of course. She didn’t love Loudoun. Of course she cared about him. Which was likely the reason something in her heart twisted.

  He gave a sigh. “It doesn’t matter.”

  May didn’t answer, but it mattered to her. Loudoun’s hold on sobriety was slipping, she could see it. Was the deal the reason? While she had little feeling for Willy Wurts, she couldn’t deny that he represented everything she’d been looking for. A chance to belong in America. If she married him, Loudoun would get the contract and she would get her American husband.

  But her heart ached painfully as she looked at Loudoun. She couldn’t deny he was the man she longed to touch. It was ridiculous to think. He’d never get involved with her and certainly never marry her.

  “You’re not saying anything. What are you thinking?” Loudoun searched her face, his eyes suspicious.

  But she only gave him a smile. “I’m glad to see you looking better this morning.”

  His eyes narrowed further. “I’m just fine. It’s you I am worried about now.”

  May tried to hide the blush creeping up her cheeks. It was gratifying to know he worried and a tiny piece of her hoped it meant that he cared but she pushed those thoughts aside. She didn’t know how much time she’d have in America but she couldn’t waste it on Loudoun. No matter how much she wished to….

  “Why would you be worried about May?” Barrett rumbled behind them.

  Loudoun stood. “Wurts.”

  Barrett waved the comment off. “His addendum is preposterous. I am assuming, May, you have no interest in William Wurts Junior? If you do, now would be the time to say so, because he’s offered for your hand. Did Lucius give you the details already?”

  She looked at Loudoun. “Yes. And I might be.” She knew she had no feeling for Willy. But she wanted to stay and Loudoun wanted this contract. Plenty of marriages were built on convenience. And she’d come to realize several things. She cared deeply for Loudoun and she wanted to give him this gift. The contract that he desired.

  Loudoun’s face went purple and a grunt escaped his lips. “May—”

  But Barrett cut him off. “Well in that case, there is a ball tomorrow night. We will attend with them.”

  She nodded and stood, her appetite completely gone. “Excellent. If you will both excuse me.”

  Loudoun shot daggers at her as she passed. But Barrett gave her a wink. Below his breath, he whispered, “Excellent strategy. He’ll be green with jealousy.”

  She shook her head. That wasn’t why she was doing it and she was certain, if it were, that it wouldn’t work.

  Chapter Nine

  May tried not to shy away as Willy touched her once again. His meaty hands filled her with dread more than anything else. This was all wrong. But how to fix it? She needed an opportunity to meet more suitors.

  If that weren’t enough, he was openly gloating in front of Loudoun. “For such a handsome man, you’d think you’d have a companion for the evening.” William nudged Loudoun.

  One of Loudoun’s eyebrows arched up and he gave William a dry, almost bored, look. But underneath that, May could sense his tension. “Don’t mistake choice for inability.”

  “Care to wager?” William rubbed his hands together, for once not touching her. She would have enjoyed the moment but instead unease made her suck in her breath. If she had to watch Loudoun find company for the evening it would tear her apart. Never mind she was being courted by another man. She was doing that for his benefit. At least partially.

  The elder Wurts clapped. “That’s my boy. We’re betting men, we are.”

  Loudoun was silent for a moment. “What are the terms?” His face was completely unreadable.

  “You must dance at least six of the dances, each with a different lady.” William rocked on the balls of his feet.

  “And If I win?” Loudoun was still, almost disengaged. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking. But his eyes met hers and she knew her thoughts must be written all over her face. If she could, she would have begged him not to do this.

  “The honor of the final dance with May.” William smiled like a cat that had found the milk.

  But Loudoun gave him a winning smile. “I don’t accept. I’ll have that anyway.” And then he was next to her and pulling her toward the dance floor.

  “Surely you know this isn’t the final dance.” She had to hurry to keep up with him.

  “I’m aware,” he grunted. “If I have to look at that man as he touches you one more time…”

  “Are you…are you jealous?” May asked as they reached the floor, and Loudoun swept her into his arms.

  “What are you even doing here with him?” Loudoun gave her a dark look but his arms were tender as he held her.

  She shook her head. “I want to stay in America.” She was tempted to tell him that she wanted to stay with him. But not only did she not want to be rejected again, she knew it was no good for him. Or for her. She had to stop this fantasy that had been dominating her thoughts. Her and Loudoun together.

  “But that can’t mean you’ll marry a man like that?” He looked aghast.

  “My suitors in England were much the same. At least if it’s Wurts, I’d get to stay.”

&
nbsp; “Is that why you wanted me to purchase that dress, so I could fill in as bridegroom and you could stay in America?” He looked down at her, his face a mask again.

  She did not know whether to be insulted or relieved. He didn’t realize she was doing this, in part for him. He clearly hadn’t learned how much she cared for him but did he think she went around letting every man touch her like that? And if she’d wanted to trap him in marriage, she would have done it. She wasn’t that that kind of person and it hurt her that he would think she was. “I…don’t be…that is absurd.”

  “I’m not made for marriage, May.”

  She wanted to stop dancing, possibly step on his foot. The assumptions he’d just made about her were awful. She wanted to cry. But she wouldn’t tell him how much he’d hurt her. In time he’d see that she cared. She’d done this because it was best for both of them. So why did it hurt so much?

  “I do not care a whit what you’re made for.” She stopped dancing. “If you’ll excuse me.” She couldn’t look at him another second. It felt as though her heart were breaking.

  Dashing toward the open patio doors, she snaked through the crowd. She needed to be alone and compose herself. No one could know how much Lucius Loudoun had just hurt her.

  Loudoun watched her walk away and swore softly under his breath. Willy Wurts was making his way through the crowd toward the patio. Loudoun could see he was following May. His hands had trembled all night, though he had hidden it well. Seeing them together made them start again. Only belatedly did he realize they had ceased shaking while he held May close.

  Following them both, he wound through the crowd. He knew it was awful of him to tell May he couldn’t have her but he didn’t want Wurts to either, but it was for her own good. He now knew two generations of Wurts men and didn’t like either of them. May would not give them the third. His breath rumbled in his chest at the thought of Willy touching her. The trembling increased.

  She’d planned to meet Wurts out on the patio. Jealousy made his vision blur. He didn’t want that man touching her, not even for a second.

  He caught sight of her just ahead and picked up speed, nearly knocking two matronly ladies over.

  She disappeared onto the patio and he made it out the doors just in time to see her start down a path.

  Slowing, he continued to follow her but now he wanted to know if his suspicions were true. Did they plan this tete-a-tete? Would Wurts become May’s lover? Anger bubbled deep in his gut. If she was going to marry someone else, she had to return to England. He and Barrett were in agreement on that. He couldn’t watch her be someone else’s wife and survive.

  She stopped and he stopped too. Willy Wurts was nowhere in sight and she sat on a bench and dropped her head into her hands. And then he heard it. Her first sniffle. Bloody hell, was she crying?

  He approached her then, her sadness pulling at his heart but his suspicions still pawing at his stomach. Sliding next to her, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Wurts isn’t going to like it when he finds us here.”

  “What?” She lifted her head then, cheeks glistening with tears, liquid brown eyes meeting his. “Why would he find us out here?”

  Loudoun started in surprise. “He followed you out. Don’t tell me you didn’t plan it?”

  Before he’d even seen it coming, a hand met with his cheek…hard. His face stinging, he rubbed the tender flesh.

  “Do you think I let every man take the liberties I’ve allowed you? I’ve never allowed anyone to touch me like that. I have feelings for you—“ She stopped, her hand covering her mouth.

  And suddenly he understood. He’d insulted her because he’d assumed she had the same intentions with Wurts she’d had with him. When, in fact, she didn’t…at all. He should have known that, but his own insecurities were clouding his vision. Though he hadn’t admitted it out loud, he cared for her too. What was more, now that she was here, her soft skin next to his own, his shake was gone. She soothed him in ways he hadn’t realized.

  “Oh, May,” he sighed and his lips dropped to her neck. “I didn’t mean it, love. I was jealous, it’s a reflection on me, not on you.”

  “Don’t,” she whispered, pulling back.

  “I know I shouldn’t kiss you like this, but I’m losing control. You make me forget every rule I’ve written for myself. I don’t know how to stop it.” And right now, he couldn’t think of why he would want to.

  “We cannot continue doing this,” she huffed as she made to get up. But his hand came to her waist and his lips kissed up to her sensitive earlobe. It was terrible, he knew it. But now that she was so close, everything that had been wrong was suddenly right. All his worries fell away. He felt her shiver as she gasped. Perhaps if he kissed a line to her lips, she’d forget her conviction and stay with him.

  “Why wouldn’t you want to?” he whispered.

  “Lucius,” she returned and it made him pull back, because she never used his given name. “I’ve allowed you far too many liberties already. You should take me back inside.”

  At the thought of her leaving, the distance between them, his hands started to shake again. “One more minute. Please.”

  She gave him a searching glance. “I cannot have an affair with you. I should have said it sooner. I’ve been caught up in the feel of—” She stopped. “You’ve been clear about marriage. And I respect it, but that leaves us with nothing.”

  He leaned his forehead against hers, it sounded like goodbye and his hands shook harder. He needed her. “Not nothing.” It was becoming clear he’d done this all wrong. But how to change it now was a mystery.

  “If I marry Wurts, it will take the temptation away for both of us. I’ll get to stay in America and you’ll get your contract.” Her heard her breath shudder out. “I’ll see myself in,” she whispered as she rose from the bench.

  There was no way in hell he’d allow her to marry Will Wurts. He’d kill the man or die trying. He sat for a minute or two wondering what to do. The shaking in his hands grew worse.

  There was only one thing to do. Stay close to her.

  Chapter Ten

  There was only one thing to do. Stay far away from Lucius Loudoun. She’d barely been able to walk away in the garden. Her need for him both physically and emotionally was growing despite his attempts to push her away.

  But when he wasn’t putting distance between them, he was teasing with delicious kisses and breath-stealing caresses and that was what she had to avoid. She should have smacked him harder.

  Perhaps he’d been right all along. He was no good after all. But that made her heart twist painfully too. She knew there was good in him, his life had forced him to bury it deep but someone had to help him draw it out.

  She saw him walk by, and even from a distance she noticed the trembling. His face was pale and, if she drew closer, she was sure his brow was sweating. He checked over his shoulder a few times and then disappeared down a hall.

  The set finished and the beau she’d been dancing with presented his elbow to escort her back to Barrett. Willy had disappeared altogether, which was fine as far as she was concerned, though it was odd behavior for a man who claimed to be so enamored. She sighed. Whatever his motivation for wanting to court her, he likely had no more feeling for her than she for him. Part of her was relieved. Perhaps they could have a marriage of convenience if neither heart was involved.

  She looked to the hall that Loudoun had used, she shouldn’t care about what he was doing or why he looked so distressed. But she bit her lip, he looked to be in real trouble and she just couldn’t turn it off. It was who she was…she cared deeply. Put herself out for those she loved. As they walked, her escort swung them past the very hall Loudoun had disappeared to.

  “Mr. Sampson,” she drawled, turning to the man escorting her.

  “Simpson,” he corrected, looking eager nonetheless.

  “Of course,” she gave him a bright smile. “No need to escort me further.” She started to pull away, but he grasped her
hand.

  “Oh I wouldn’t feel right, not returning a lady to her chaperone,” he answered.

  She stretched her smile even wider. “I’ll return shortly.” She leaned in for a conspiratorial whisper. “I need to find the ladies’ salon. You’re such a vivacious dancer, I simply must rest for a moment.”

  He blushed and nodded eagerly, telling her that he would inform Barrett of her whereabouts. That did not give her much time and so she dashed down the hall.

  Most of the doors were closed but one was cracked open. Peeking in, she recognized Loudoun’s back as he stood at the desk. “Are you all right?” she asked as she slipped into the room, checking behind her to see if anyone saw her go in.

  Before she could even close the door, Loudoun had swept her into his arms. She reached her hands around his neck but not before she peeked at the desk to see a snifter of brandy. “Did you drink any?” she asked, trying not let her voice show how frightened she was.

  Instead of answering he captured her lips with his own. His kiss tasted as it always did, like cloves and cinnamon, not a hint liquor.

  She sighed with relief against his mouth and he used the opportunity to touch his tongue to hers. Every muscle in her body tightened, a sweet ache building inside her. It both excited and irritated her because there was never any relief.

  Pulling her mouth from his, she looked at him with accusing eyes. “You frightened me.”

  He touched her cheek, giving her a warm smile. “Sorry, love.” He glanced over at the desk. “I know you see me struggling but it isn’t usually so, I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

  She shook her head. “I really am terrible for you. You said I reminded you of the worst time in your life. Am I making you relive it?”

  He blinked at her. “I don’t think that is it. I wasn’t being entirely honest with you that night. I was attracted to you but felt I shouldn’t be because of our past relationship.”

  A blush crept into her cheeks. “That’s silly. It’s not like Barrett who is like a father to me. We haven’t even seen each other in years.”