BOMAW 4-6

by Mercedes Keyes

  "Um, I'm not sure how to tell you this Shawn... but... when you and Deidre went through your divorce... she was pregnant."

  The expression that came to his face, spelled shock loud and clear. Shawn was certain he wasn't hearing right. "Pregnant? You mean..." He couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.

  "Yeah... by you. She wanted to tell you, she thought if she did, it might help your marriage. However, Georgiana intervened Shawn."

  "What do you mean she intervened?" He asked sharply.

  "Deidre was upset over the divorce, didn't want to go through with it. She told her mother that she was pregnant and that she was going to tell you. She was so upset, that Georgiana gave her something to calm her down. Well, it knocked her out. When Deidre woke the next day... she was in a private wing of a hospital, minus the baby. They told her she'd miscarried. Deidre doesn't believe that... she believes her mother had the baby aborted while she was out from the drug she gave her."

  "OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!" Shanna blurted out loud in disbelief. "Oh my god... no way!" She shook her head, with her hand covering her mouth, looking from her brother to Terra and then at her mother who was just as stunned.

  Terra looked up at Shawn's sister with an expression of sympathy.

  Shawn sat with a maelstrom of emotions rushing over him. He didn't know how to react. His body was already wracked from trying to deal with Sylvia's absence, and then to hear this on top of Deidre being in critical condition.

  "You know Terra... I'm sitting here thinking about how many times, I begged her... to leave this place. To please, let's just pick up all, load it up and head for Wisconsin. Over and over again... there was always an excuse not to. Always a reason why not now. There was no valid reason why! She didn't trust me... and what we had... enough to give it all up! She chose to stay here! This was her choice over me... over a family and a better way of life! Now look at her! She's laying up at deaths door, while a child of mine had to be sacrificed! And for what?!" He stood pacing across the room.

  "I know how you feel Shawn-..." Terra started.

  "No... you don't! You didn't just sit here and learn that your son or daughter's life was snuffed out - disposed of like accumulated trash! All because she needed to hang on to this bullshit lifestyle! A lifestyle that's gonna get her fucking KILLED - if - that is - she wakes up!"

  "Shawn - there's nothing wrong with her lifestyle! My parents are well off too... and they haven't done anything close to what hers are guilty of! Its not her fault... its them! They're to blame!"

  "You know what Terra... I'm gonna tell you right now, and it may sound cold and callous... but frankly speaking, I don't give a shit! Because facts are... my unborn son or daughter is dead! Fact .... she's laying under tight security fighting for her life! Fact... her father is a ruthless cold blooded viper! Fact... her mother's a high society harlot, leaping anything with two legs and a hard-on! Excuse my vulgarity mom... but I'm pissed off right now!" Shawn steamed pacing back and forth, getting worked up all over again.

  "Son... you need to calm down and not take things so to heart..."

  "Did you hear what she just told me?! How the hell am I not to take that to heart?! Those ruthless bastards killed my child! Who the hell do they think they are?!" He ranted.

  "Shawn look... I didn't mean to upset you-..." Terra began again, to be cut off.

  "She chose them... over me! Well... I got too much happening in my life right now, I can't fix this! So its a good thing she's got you! Don't get me wrong, I would have never wished this on her... but she should have separated herself from them long ago. I'm going to be here for only a couple more days... I pray she recovers so Angela can see her, and she can see Angela... but I have to get back to Wisconsin... my life is there now."

  Terra sighed. "I understand Shawn. As you know, there's an investigation going on... will you please agree to being interviewed, offering whatever help you can towards us finding out the truth?"

  "While I'm here... sure I will." He blew out running his hand over his face and short cropped hair. Too much going on all at once. "I'm sorry Terra. I don't mean to sound so cold. The idea that an innocent child of mine-..." Shawn cut it off, unable to shake the image from his mind. To hear that Deidre had been pregnant, with his son or daughter and to hear that it was destroyed, aborted... was working on him. He wanted to get away from there again. Away from them. Away from everything ugly about his past life in California. Only things there that meant anything to him was Jesse and his family. Mama JoJo and the others. Then there was the James' - and his work to deliver.

  "Deidre didn't want that to happen Shawn... it just about destroyed her."

  "Little good that does now. Regret can't bring back life can it? I really wish you hadn't told me... I wish you'd kept it to yourself." He stated standing in the kitchen doorway, he turned away and walked out of the room, leaving her with his mother. Shanna rose and followed him out.

  "I guess I shouldn't have hm?" Terra said to Gert.

  "What's done is done. Considering that they could be capable of something like that, I can certainly see your reasons for the security. Poor girl, what a horrible thing to have to face ... having parents like them." Gert sympathized.

  "She's been through so much. She still loves him you know." Terra informed her.

  "Time will take care of that. He's re-married now - to a wonderful young woman. She's pregnant now as well, he has that child to look forward to, and he has Angela."

  "Yes... I suppose that's true. She was finally moving on, then this happened. Anyway... I should get going, I need to be at the hospital in case she wakes up."

  "Call us right away when she does, we'll be right there for her." Gert stood walking Terra to the door.

  "You gonna be okay?" Shanna asked coming up behind him.

  "I have no choice. I have to be okay. I just want her to wake up and she be okay - so I can go on about my life. I need to find Sylvia... she's my life now. Everyday spent here, is irritating me more. Making me feel as though I'm further away from her."

  "She loves you Shawn... she loves you. Just as her email said, she's with you."

  "That's bullshit! I don't believe in that shit! I want the physical, living, breathing, warm, pregnant body here with me. My wife! Until I have her back with me, I can't relax, I can't calm down. I can't stop my brain from imagining all these things that could be happening to her while she's not with me, to protect her. When I find her ass, I'm dragging her in to have a homing device fitted."

  Shanna couldn't help herself for laughing at him. "Shawn... why are you so crazy? You've always been so over protective, before you came along, she protected herself just fine. Don't you think she'll do the same now?"

  "It's different now."

  "How so?" She asked.

  "She belongs to me now. Its my job to protect her and because I'm aware of her existence and she's carrying my child, so perfect together - I have these moments of fear that I'm going to have to somehow pay for sins done, through her."

  "That's ridiculous Shawn... what sins have you? You are no more sinful than any other man guilty of doing wrong some where in his life. I cannot imagine you more guilty than others. You are a good person Shawn. A good son, a good brother, a good father, and certainly... a good husband. What more can you do? You need to relax... stop feeling as if more is required of you. As if you somehow haven't done enough, or done it right - and so because of that... something bad is going to happen, that you're about to be punished." She spoke softly looking up at her brother. Shawn couldn't look down, his eyes were filled with tears again. He quickly wiped at them. It did feel that way. That any moment now, more punishment to him was coming.

  "Everything is going to be alright Shawn... you have to believe that. You have to learn to let go sometimes... just... let it go."

  "I can't... I can't let it go." He shook his head, looking out over the grounds. "I can't, just... sit back and wait for her. No... I have to find her. Tomorrow, I'll be up early, I
have some people to visit while I'm here. Then I'll come back and we'll head for the hospital, afterwards... we're invited to the James' for dinner, and I can deliver part of my work as well. Once I've done that... we'll probably be heading back by Tuesday."

  Shanna smiled and stroked his arm. "Okay big brother... whatever you say."

  He looked down at her, put his arm around her and pulled her in for a hug and a kiss to her forehead. "Thanks..." He said following a squeeze.

  "For what?" She asked.

  "For... just being here... its nice... not to have to deal with things alone."

  Chicago Sunday evening...

  Sheila was home and happy to be. While she was gone, she knew her Dennis would take care of business, but she was hurt to hear her baby had broken his arm from jumping on the bed. She stood in his bedroom picking up around it after she'd spent a little time with her honey, hearing about all that went on in her absence. Including Jake's appearance at her home. Dennis had her laughing until her side hurt. Talking about how that white man could eat. She also noticed that her Dennis enjoyed his company. She loved nothing more than to see that look on her husband's face when he was talking about someone, or something he found to be pleasant. Sheila knew she was one of the really lucky ones. What she and Dennis had with each other, was rare and getting more and more rare. He was a solid black man that put his family first. He had always taken care of her, come what may. Had always loved her, come what may. And would not accept anyone messing with her, or his kids. While he was a man quick and ready with a joke, a smile and laughter, no one wanted to be on the receiving end when he lost his temper. It wasn't easily lost, but once it was gone... look out. To him, she was the sexiest thing on two legs, and would tell anyone that. Didn't matter what problems they had, she was there to stay. She couldn't imagine leaving her husband for any length of time. Regardless of what might be going on with her.

  "Mama can I have my food in bed... since my arm broke?" Jimmy asked from bed, watching his little t.v.

  "No... you know the answer to that. Laying up there wit' yo' arm broke. You knew better than t'be jumpin' on this bed! Yeah... and I'm sure you were thinkin' mama gone... I'm gone jump on the bed... have myself a good ol'time while she gone... I'mo jump so high, I'mo touch the sky!" She stood with her hand on her hip, mimicking what she thought he would have said to himself, Jimmy started grinning, because she was close.

  "Gone mama, it hurt." He whined grinning.

  "Em hm, that's what you said ain't it? Ya'll think mama be fussing and yelling 'cause I ain't got nothing better to do - when I say, no jumpin' on the bed - there is a reason besides not wrecking the furniture... it just may be mama can foresee this very scene right here, right now. But you see, the Lord watches over children for mama's who watch over they children. Em hm, I see it now, Lord was watching you... jump on the bed... and he said, 'Now Jimmy boy... you know yo'mama said don't be jumpin' on that bed! She was here, you'd be gettin' a slap on your ass for sure!'-... "

  Grinning Jimmy corrected his mother, "Mama the Lord wouldn't say ass."

  "Look boy, don't tell me what the Lord would say! The Lord can say ass if he want to! But you can't! Don't try to slip no cussing in on me again, you ain't slick! Thought you was slick, like jumpin' on that bed... but the Lord knew yo' ass needed a quick correction - I may yell, holla' and fuss, and will get my strap on your butt - but that be over in a few minutes, lesson not always learned. But the Lord stepped up to the plate on'yah this time... when mama whip ass, last only a few minutes... all is forgotten fast, but when the Lord whip yo' ass, that pain and lesson from that whippin' lingers and lingers and lingers and lingers - don't it?!"

  Jimmy was laughing even though his arm hurt. "Mama don't make me laugh, it hurt."

  "I know it hurt... 'cause who whip yo' ass this time?"

  "The Lord..."

  "That's right... and why?"

  "'Cause I was jumpin' on the bed."

  "An' what did mama tell you?"

  "Don't be jumpin' on the bed."

  "Em hm... but you did anyway, then what happen?"

  "I fell and broke my arm."

  "You hurtin' ain't you?"

  "Yeah..."

  "I'm sure you are... lesson here is, mama may not be always watching, but you better believe, the Lord is. Now, when dinner done, you be coming down to eat as usual. Mama'll give you a pain killer in another hour... so stop with the faces and trying to get our sympathy - cause you did that to yo'self... didn't you?"

  "Yeah..."

  "Mama love you, but when you don't listen to what she say - and things go wrong, you have to live with it. My baby... you chose the hard route, for just a moment of fun. So the next time you face a decision to have a little fun - the wrong way, you better think forward to what might be the Lords way of correcting you, cause his consequences, - a son-of-gun." She sat on his bed and rubbed his head, lovingly, gently. She bent down and hugged him close. "I love you... baby boy... you know that don't you?" She whispered in his ear. He was sniffing with tears in his eye. "Yeah, I love you too mama - I'm sorry."

  "I know you are... 'cause that arm hurt." She laughed at him, he made a face laying back in bed. "You be alright, go on a watch tv." She let it go, rising from the bed, taking his dirty socks from the floor and straightening up as she went. She spent time with Tyrese, laughing at him as he talked about Jake, how his brother beat him up, and he got a black eye and what they did while she was gone. Soon Dennis took him along to the store for her; soon as they were out the door, she was on the phone, ringing Vivian.

  "What's going on with you girl? Jake came by here, said you was trippin' early this morning. He stay by there again?"

  "No he did not. He tried to, but I wasn't having it."

  "I see... so what's going on... what was you so upset about?"

  "Dr. Chan ass.." She started out and then explained to Sheila what happened, and what he threatened about her house, and how it ended.

  "He did what?! Hell naaaw! See! What I tell you! I knew his lil'Japanese ass wouldn't no good! But why you throw Jake out!?"

  "I was just mad! I'm so tired of men and the bullshit! Trying to get rid of Chan - and then I thought, what am I doing, he gonna end up the same - making me regret, so I just showed him the door too. So - he came by there then? He say anything about me?"

  "I wasn't here, he talk to Dennis, ate breakfast - and they chit chatted."

  "Well what did Dennis say he said?"

  "Girl look, you know I ain't got time for no, he say, she say - shit! Besides, it don't matter, you tossed his ass out, so its doubtful he'll be back. Unless somethin' happened you ain't tellin' me?"

  "We kissed." Vivian admitted.

  "WHAT?! What kind of kiss?"

  "A sho-nuff - sho-nuff all into it, tongue tastin', spit swappin', all up in my shit grind with him hard - as - hell - kinda kiss, oh my God Sheila... I wanted his ass!!"

  Sheila was laughing, "Hell yeah! You done made my ass horny... got my shit tinglin' just hearin' about it, wait til Dennis get back here, I'mo put somethin' on his ass tonight! Girl! So what happened, ya'll go all the way?"

  "No... it was a goodbye kiss. I initiated it. He wanted to stay and go to bed with me, but I said no. I'm 28 years old, I want a real relationship with a man that's wanting to give me... what you have. I told him that too... that it was all or nothing. Anyway, he threw one of those lines on me that if he left, he wouldn't be back, so I gave him a goodbye kiss."

  "Girl! But he come back the next morning didn't he? 'bout to kick Jackie Chan's ass!"

  "Yeah... and then I went off on him. I don't know what I'm gonna do Sheila. Everything is so messed up. I was so pissed, I uh... I called Chan's wife and told her to keep him away from me."

  "You called his wife?! You talk to her?!"

  "Yeah... I did."

  "Ah girl! Well... she needed to know. Damn Vivian... how you get yo'self into this shit? How much money he put down on that place for you?"

  "I think...
about, forty-five to fifty thousand."

  "Holy shit! You got that kind of money laying around?"

  "NO! Of course not! I got money in the bank - but nothing near that amount. I'm not worried, what can he do... my name on the property."

  "Girl don't you believe for a minute its that simple. That man ain't give up that much money and not made sure he got some insurance of his own, that's the name of the game baby! I get a feeling you on your way to the land of surprise - surprise - and it ain't gone be no happy surprise!"

  "What am I gonna do Sheila? I'm not giving up my home! And I'm not giving his ass no fifty thousand dollars either! He gone have to take me to court!"

  "For fifty thousand dollars... I bet his unscrupulous ass will!"

  "Shit Sheila... this shit got me scared. I can't lose my home. I can't have my family laughing at me... I know they will! They wanna see me fail! Especially my sisters!"

  "Now how you know that?"

  "'Cause I know them! And I know what they think of me!"

  "Vivian... I don't know what to tell you. All I know, is if it were me, I wouldn't want the place - I'd tell him to take it and stick it up his ass!"

  "Hell with that! This is my home, I've been paying on this for close to five years now-..."

  "No... by the sounds of it... you been paying rent! Let's be real - okay?! You was not married to that man! When you signed your name on the dotted line, you knewthen his ass was married! That he belong to another woman! You know what lil'girl? If it were me... and he was my man, and you called me with that shit... I'd be at your door, evicting your ass to the curb! 'Cause she carrying his name! When you found out his ass was married, you should have ended that shit! Fuck love! You ain't got no business trying to love no married man! Now look at you! Pack up yo' shit... and get the hell up out of there, for they do a nasty turn on you!"

  "Where the hell am I suppose to go Sheila?!" Vivian began crying again. "This shit ain't right! I worked hard for this!"

  "No - you fucked hard for that! Work was overtime! You only work hard for something that is your own! Ain't no goddamn satisfaction in fighting for a house he put you up in! I'm telling you now, pack up everything and put it in storage and get the hell out of there now before he drags your ass through the gutter! You was wrong for being with his ass after you found out he was married. Take this Vivian as a lesson learned! Get out now while you still have some dignity left! Because no matter how you look at it, you just the other woman - and now that wifey knows... you just armed her with everything she needs to put you and him through some hell! You better listen - don't be hard headed! Hard head make a raw ass! That's it... that's all I got to say! You done made me tired, I still got to call Sylvia ass and tell her off! Goddammit! Yah'll stressin' me!"