BOMAW 4-6

by Mercedes Keyes

  It had taken him a few months after Jesse's death to get himself to come and see mama JoJo. So tore up in grief he could no longer stay away. He had visited her and broken down telling her he'd died in a shooting. That they'd gotten into a fight, and defending him, Jesse had gotten shot. Of course there was no way that mama JoJo knew the truth of how they made money. There was no way that Shawn would have ever disclosed it to her. He told her then that Jesse lay in an unmarked grave, and he swore to her, that he would see to it somehow, that he would be laid better. It took him three years, but he finally fulfilled his promise to her, one that he made to himself as well. Because he had been so tore up over it, he'd stayed with her for weeks, going back and forth to work until he felt he needed to get his own place again. Not because mama JoJo wanted him to, he just felt that he should. However, in every little way that he could, he saw to her. Even when he was off touring Europe with Merriam Styles, he wrote mama JoJo, sent her cards, gifts and pictures galore. Much more than he'd done with his own parents. He could do no less because he knew it was something that Jesse would have done, and wanted him to do, so he carried it through for him. He'd brought Deidre to meet her. When Angela was born, he brought her there as well. He smiled, and chuckled as Mama Jojo told his mother and sister stories of some of his and Jesse's adventures. Gert and Shanna sat in disbelief. This was a side of her son Gert would never have imagined existed. Listening to Mama Jojo go on about him, made her feel those old pains again from her past. While she knew that he was not the son of Edwin Piercey, she had her moments when she swore that his blood must flow through his veins. However, that was nothing more than her own wishful thinking, best kept to the back of her mind.

  Finally they stood at his grave.

  Here it was many years later, and Shawn could not stand over his grave without feeling broken up inside. Because he loved him so much, missed him so badly, the memories of their past together would not wear off. Would not lesson with time. Every time things got a little rough, he thought of Jesse. Because Jesse always had the solution. Maybe not the right solution, but one that had been inspired by his take on the world and what was needed to get over in it. Jesse had been the one person in his life who had loved him the way he most needed to be loved by a fellow man. He was that older brother that every little boy needs to look up to. Jesse had been his. In a sense, he could understand what Jake may have been missing all of that time they were growing up.

  Shawn rubbed his eyes to remove his tears, sniffing.

  Gert stood and watched her son, over come by the emotion filling him as he stood before the grave of a young man she'd never met, or heard of before last night. She looked from him down at the head stone that read.

  ~*~~*~~*~

  Here Lies...My Brother

  R.I.P

  Jesse James Douglas

  1957 - 1984

  "I will never forget you...

  please I beg,

  haunt me for all of my days.

  Doing so, I'll know,

  you haven't forgotten me."

  S.E.M

  ~*~~*~~*~

  Angela knelt and replaced the flowers that were there, long since dead with new ones that her father had picked up for it. It wasn't the first time she'd done it, this was a routine she was accustomed to, cleaning around the grave as he had shown her to do. Shawn finally knelt down to one knee. They had been there for a while, mama JoJo was growing tired of standing. She turned away, using her cane and shuffled back towards the SUV. Knowing that he would want to be alone with him. Gert and Shanna followed her, Angela leaned over and hugged her father, then turned and joined the other women as he knelt there. He thanked mama JoJo in his mind for walking away, to give him that moment, because once again, he cried.

  "I miss you so much man... God almighty I miss you so much." He gasped wiping at his face, streaming with tears. "Oh god..." He blew out trying to keep his emotions under control. Suddenly he smiled, "Hey Jesse... guess what man?" Shawn smiled as Jesse answered him in his head. "What?"

  "I got one... you know... just like you said the kind to get. Her names Sylvia. Oh Jesse... you should see her. Prettiest thing you'll ever see. Eyes so deep and dark, with a heart and soul you'd be proud of. An-n-nd - we're having a baby. She thinks its a boy. She says she's sure. I um, well... this one... this one's for you." Shawn sniffed wiping at his nose. "Jesse, I swear man, he's gonna be one bad little motha'fucka! I can tell you that now!" Shawn laughed. "He's gonna be our son Jesse! Our boy... but you know us, as you always said, if we fell in a barrel full of titties we'd come up sucking our thumb..." Shawn laughed out loud. "Ah hell... I gotta do it right Jesse. I gotta do'im right. Of course you know what I'll name'im?"

  "Let me guess..." The voice inside his head said. "Moby D Jr.?"

  Shawn laughed out loud. Knowing that Jesse would say just that. "No... not that. Weren't you listening? I said, this one's for you. Now I may have to wrestle with the ol'lady over it a bit, but... he'll be, Jesse James McPherson. Can you see him now Jesse?! Oh his little ass is going to be the end of me I know. I'm anxious man. I'm so anxious to see him. To look at him, to hold him. I saw his heart beating Jesse... his heart was just going man... ah man... I wish you could have seen it." Shawn looked down, quiet a while. "I keep... thinking of that day. Replaying it in my head... wishing I'd just... just shut my mouth. 'Cause... you'd be here now. Maybe... you would have been at my wedding. Wouldn't have let me fuck it up so bad. But you know me." Shawn chuckled. "She took off on me man. I'm gettin' her ass back though, you can believe that!" He sniffed slipping into silence again. Thinking, remembering, his thumb rubbing away more tears. "Ah well... look man... I ah... I gotta go. Mama JoJo's waiting, my mom and everything. But... hey uh, I need you to do me a favor man. Guard my son man... watch over my son. Our son... if you can just make sure he makes it all the way, I'll pick it up from the delivery... okay? Can you do that for me? You know with her being out there somewhere, and um, she's got lil'Jesse with her... so - just... watch over'em for me okay?"

  "You always gotta fuck somethin' up! Then I gotta clean it up!" The voice stated.

  "I know... I know. But... I love her man, soon as I leave here, I'm gonna get everything together, make it right. Bring her home... so... just watch her back until I get her, okay?"

  "Hey... you know you can always depend on me man... lil'brother... you know you can always depend on me."

  Shawn bowed his head about to cry again, he shot to his feet, wiped his face, sniffed and opened his eyes in the breeze to dry them, and then strolled off through the cemetery. Still walking that same ol'walk that Jesse taught him long ago. That smooth stride, a bit of a strut that made many a women look up and long to know him.

  They went to a seafood buffet restaurant, mama JoJo's favorite place to eat when he took her out. The food was excellent and the choices put one in, Asian, Sushi-seafood heaven. The worst thing about the restaurant was to control yourself and not over eat. They'd enjoyed a terrific meal, talking about various things when Shawn excused himself. There was something more he'd meant to mention to Jeremiah Franklin and the investigators dealing with the case, so he walked outside to the SUV to ring them.

  Angela was at the dessert bar as the three women sat back talking about this and that.

  Gert had been telling mama JoJo about Sylvia and what led up to her leaving Shawn.

  "Lord'a'mercy... that boy of yo's got himself a temper lemme tell you. Oh the times he get mad at that first one he married, the baby's mama. He come knocking at my door, sometime late at night, the baby on his hip and bag in his hand." Mama JoJo shook her head laughing thinking back to it. "I say, boy... what done gone wrong now? Gimme that baby - come on in here... I say. He walk in circles, pacing back and forth, angry and mad... talkin' bout leaving her 'cause she wasn't right. Won't clean up the house, won't cook. Can't take care of the baby right... just wanna shop and spend money. Wanna hire a maid and a cook. I try to tell him, let'ha if she want to. Oooh and he go to fussin', "My
mama raised five children and didn't ask for no maid and no cook!" He carry on somethin'." Mama JoJo laughed.

  "Mama JoJo I had my moments when I wanted to. Lord it wasn't easy, so many times I wanted to run to my daddy, or use the money he give us to make life just a bit easier on us, but my husband was a proud man and he wouldn't hear of it. So there was no running home to my daddy."

  "Where was that?" Mama JoJo asked.

  "South Carolina." Gert admitted.

  "Well its a small world, that's where I live before I move to California with my brother."

  "Oh really, so it is a small world. What made ya'll leave South Carolina?"

  "Oooh, we left at a time when thangs was so much different from the way they is today. Time ago, ain't no way yo' boy would'ah married his Sylvia. Would'ah been too dangerous. My brother, god bless him, suffered so with his own son. Just one, and two girls. That boy of his was gonna be something special let me tell you. But - he got himself all caught up wit' a lil'white girl... got himself killed. I never forget that. I was living with my brother at the time see, my ol'man done took off and left me and my girls. We ain't have no way of makin' it. My brother had me come stay with him, to help me out. His son, his oldest, Edwin... was part of the black rally's, protesting and following King. He ask his daddy could he bring his girl along, because he wanted to marry her... you see my brother was making plans to relocate to California even then. He would have done anything for his Edwin, and told him once we got settled, he could send for her if he wanted. Edwin took off happy as a lark. That was the last time we seen him alive. About three in the morning, somebody broke one of the windows at my brother's house, waking us up. Then we heard this heavy thump... trucks kicked up dust spinning out of the yard, there was a lot of hoopin' and hollerin' as they left. He open the door, and laying right there on the thresh hold, was Edwin, battered, broke up body... soaked in blood..."

  Gert shot up from her chair short of breath stumbling through the restaurant for the ladies room.

  "Oh lord... I done upset her... didn't meant to." Mama JoJo said turning to Shanna, who was staring with wide eyes of horror.

  "Oh my God... oh my God... mama JoJo... oh nooo."

  "What sugah... was wrong?" She leaned forward asking, alarmed.

  "That lil'white girl... that... Edwin wanted to marry... that was my mother."

  Chapter 87

  Gert closed herself up in one of the bathroom stalls walking in circles. She couldn't catch her breath, she couldn't stop the rapid pounding of her heart. She couldn't shake the image of Edwin, the picture of him laying broken up and bloody. He'd been on his way to see her. He'd wanted to marry her. Covering her mouth she knew she was going to erupt and fought it back. Turning in circles her mind went crazy trying to figure out what to do not to lose her mind. Nothing she did could hold back the keening and whimpering in her throat. Her eyes filled with tears and she sat on the commode rocking and holding her fist to her mouth, trying to hold it in. Unable to stop it, a cough and wail escaped until a sobbing like uncontrollable laughter filled the stall, she couldn't make herself stop.

  She heard someone enter the woman's bathroom, yet no control was there to be found. A knock at her stall. "Momma... momma let me in... please let me in." Shanna pleaded hearing the sounds of her mothers deep, gut wrenching wails fill the bathroom.

  "Momma pleeease... let me in." Shanna cried, hearing her mother sob so harshly was more than she could stand.

  Finally the door came open and Shanna rushed in to her mother, locking the stall behind her.

  "Shhh sh sh sh momma...please... oh momma... ooooh... come on momma... you can't let Shawn see you this way... you can't. Momma you gotta get control of yourself."

  "THE BASTARDS!!!"

  "Shhh momma... please momma... you have to calm down."

  "He - he didn't - didn't deser - deserve that! Why'd they have to... to kill'im... why'd they..." She tapered off weeping and sobbing.

  Mama JoJo sat with Angela standing beside her, passing her, her walking stick. "Come on chile... help mama JoJo up from here... just get me to the bathroom where yo' grandma is, then you go get wit' yo' daddy. Tell him we in the bathroom, be out in a reckin'... 'kay?" Mama JoJo directed as Angela escorted her towards the ladies room. Stopping at the door, mama JoJo turned to her and nodded. "I be okay from here, go fin' yo'daddy now."

  Angela went off to do as she was told. Mama JoJo walked into the ladies room to see a few woman standing looking at the stall where Gert and Shanna was. They hurried and washed their hands and left. Embarrassed by the commotion.

  "Gertrude... this mama JoJo here... come on out darlin' so we can talk... ain't no body in here but us. Come on out now." She called to her, hearing the keening of which brought back memories. That very same heart wrenching cry had been torn from Edwin's mother as she viewed her son's body that morning, following her ear shattering screams. The entire house had been in an uproar. They'd prepared Edwin's body for burial and hadn't told a soul. He was in fact buried there in California. His father and mother hadn't wanted to leave his body in the South when they were moving West, and quickly.

  "Come on sweetheart... come on out here." Mama JoJo petitioned kindly. Shanna unlocked the stall door, so that Mama JoJo could see in. Gert was a mess, unable to stop herself from crying. "Chile... you can't be carrying on this way... he been long gone now... didn't you know what happened?"

  Gert rocked and shook her head. Yes, she'd known that something happened to him, but without the evidence, without the body, a seed of hope had been there that maybe, just maybe he'd escaped such a horrific fate.

  "Mama JoJo... we have to do something... she can't let my brother see her like this... he doesn't know, not any of it." Shanna spoke in a panic.

  "Look here gal... you done suddenly got sick. You hear? Now we ain't gone go blamin' the food, 'cause this my favorite restaurant... don't want yo' Shawn choking the cook. But we just gone say we need to go, and now... this way you can get back to the condo and lay yo'self down."

  "Come back with me.... please... ple - please mama Jo - JoJo." Gert pleaded.

  Mama JoJo stood for a moment, "Okay... I come back wit'cha. But I ain't stayin'!" She let her know.

  Shanna rushed out of the ladies room and found Shawn at the table with Angela.

  "We need to go, momma's suddenly sick." She said.

  Shawn looked up stunned, "From what? Something she eat?"

  "No... it wasn't the food... its been comin' on her last night and this morning, we just need to get her home so she can lay down, she's feeling pretty bad." Shanna stated quickly.

  "Should I go and get her, can she walk?" Shawn asked standing.

  "No... just wait for us in the SUV - mama JoJo's with her now. We'll be right out."

  On their way back to the condo, Shawn kept insisting that maybe he should take her to the doctor. The sight of her startled him so that he almost insisted. Mama JoJo is the one who assured him that she would be fine. Just take them all to the condo where she would sit with her for a while until she felt better. Once they arrived, Shawn decided to take Angela to visit Deidre at the hospital once more. They'd stay there for an hour or more and then pick a couple of her friends up from school and maybe let her go to a movie with them or something. He didn't know what was going on with his mom, but thought he'd just leave them be. He knew that mama JoJo was a wonder when someone didn't feel good. Checking to make sure he didn't need to pick up anything for them first from the drugstore or otherwise, they assured him that he didn't, they were fine, he and his daughter took off for the hospital.

  "Now they gone, we can talk. You need somethin' to drink sugah?" Mama JoJo asked Gert standing by her bed.

  "Mama JoJo sit down. You not here to see about me. I should be asking you that." Gert returned, sniffing as Shanna went into the kitchen and made them all a drink. Mama JoJo backed up to a chair sitting by the bed.

  "I simply cannot believe it. To meet you, Edwin's aunt, and to find out... all t
his time later... to hear that he... that they... oh it's going to do my head in I swear! Mama JoJo... I loved him, I loved him so much... I swear to you that I did. Knowing that he was coming to me, to tell me about his plans! Oh mama JoJo... I would have gone with him. I would have travelled across the world to be with him." Gert was softly crying now, when Shanna entered with their drinks.

  She felt somewhat split. Knowing of her mother's secret as she did, and trying with all her might to understand her feelings, could not cover over the fact that she was now her father's wife. Bart was her father, and she loved her father! All of her life, she had known nothing but a gentle, caring hand from him. Of course being the baby of the family and the girl at that, she had been treated special by all of them. Protected by everyone. She had been one of daddy's little girls, so babied a great deal. This was not easy for her to stand and be a witness to. She had a feeling of standing by and watching her mother be unfaithful to her father. Shanna had a aching feeling that her mother still harbored feelings for the man, Edwin Piercey, a man long since passed away with a horrible ending. Although her mother swore that she loved Bart now, Shanna had a feeling that her mother would be torn if Edwin Piercey had proven to be still alive. Torn perhaps that she might even consider an affair? She knew her imagination was going nuts, but it could not be denied that the feelings her mother had for the deceased man were strong and still there. It also made Shanna wonder if this were the true reason her mother had wanted them all to marry someone other than white. Maybe she was gaining a sense of fulfilment by Shawn's marrying Sylvia, and now, she was going on about this woman Vivian, who had been at the reception. How she was making plans to maneuver her into being with Jake.