BOMAW 4-6

by Mercedes Keyes

  She emptied the dust pan in the garbage, laid it and the broom aside. Went to the sink and rinsed her hands, drying them on the towel there and made her way to her front door.

  "Who is it?" She asked, she would definitely ask the landlord about a peep hole, or - she could purchase a door with a window high in it to see out, if he would put it on for her.

  "Open the door and see."

  Vivian stood with her mind in a whirl, certain she was not hearing the voice of the person she thought she heard.

  Jake, after hitting the ninth house with Paul in the search had looked down the block to see his older sons waving excitedly at him from the top of it where they'd parked. Paul had turned to him saying, "You think they found her already?"

  "Let's go see." Jake instructed, setting off at a trot towards his sons. Upon reaching them, "We found her. She's just the block over from that Sheila and Dennis, your friends. She didn't even know who we were." Kevin informed him excited.

  "Good. I didn't relish the idea of having to go to each and every house, but I would have." He grumbled, still perturbed. If anything, he was more riled, the more homes they'd hit, the more upset he became. Angry at her, and angry at himself because he couldn't make himself just throw up his hands and leave it alone. He was driven. Must be a madness, he thought to himself. He and his sons made their way back to the truck and climbed in.

  "Now what?" Paul had asked.

  "I'm dropping you three off at Dennis and Sheila's. Mind your manners, be respectful, if they feed you - eat! If I'm not there to get you within an hour, you'll be getting a ride with Sylvia and Shawn, or otherwise, staying put till I come for you."

  "Dad!" Benjamin exclaimed.

  "Hey - don't complain - at least now, you don't have to move furniture." Jake informed them as he pulled out of the parking spot and drove them around to Dennis and Sheila's. Anxious to get to Vivian, his heart was drumming in his chest from anticipation of having found her. He felt like a hunter and she was his prey. Pulling up in front of their home he asked them, "What's the house number?"

  They told him and jumped out, letting him know how far within the block to go before he would see it. He nodded and pulled off not looking back. His mind on one thing. Vivian Cooke. He made his way to her block in no time flat, drove so far looking ahead and spotted the house number and parked across the street from it because there was little elsewhere to park. He checked himself in the mirror, smoothed his hair back, looked at himself for another moment and stared wondering what in the world had come over him.

  He threw the door open, "Fuck it!" and slammed it behind himself, his thumb suppressing the remote alarm and made his way across looking at the place she now rented. It needed a paint job. Around the window panes the paint was cracking and flaking off. The little black wrought iron banister needed a coat of paint as well. The bushes needed trimming, the grass and lawn needed tending. Her home, the one she left, hadn't looked like this. It had been well manicured, and well presented from the outside. He was surprised at himself for realizing that. Standing before her door, he took a couple of deep breaths trying to get his mind around why he was there. Again, his earlier exclamation came to mind and he knocked. Nervous for some reason, both hands went up on both sides of the door frame with him leaning forward centered in the door waiting for her to answer. Finally she did, her voice came through, the sound of it going beyond his ears, some how, straight through his body to his chest. He couldn't explain it. Just grew angrier and instructed her to see for herself who was at the door.

  It came open carefully. She stood behind the protection of a screen door, her eyes wide looking at him through it.

  "Ja - Jake? What are you doing here?" Vivian gulped. He was staring down at her with those eyes of his. There were so many different looks to him. The look of laughter and light heartedness. The look of a flirtatious imp. Playful and laughing. A look of passion and hunger. Now - the unmistakable look of anger. He actually looked mean.

  "Let me in. I'm not gonna stand out here talking to you." He said simply, and un-braced the door grabbing the handle of the screen waiting for her to unlock it.

  Against her better judgment, Vivian was afraid not to, and let him in standing aside as he walked straight past her to the living-room looking around as she closed the door behind him.

  "What are you doing here Jake?" She asked again, unable to think straight with him there.

  He took his time to answer, busy as he was looking around the new place, when he was ready to respond, he turned to look at her. The moment his eyes roamed over her, he wished to God he were a blind man. She turned him on. From the top of her afro to the bottom of her bare feet, she looked hot, sweet and good enough to eat. Over and over again. He wasn't about to play games and so refused to hide the fact that his eyes were hungrily devouring her. She wore a skimpy pair of blue jean shorts that fit her to perfection, leading his mind in directions of removing them. Her legs were long and shapely, smooth and dark, wonderfully shaped.

  "Jake - what do you want?" Vivian asked growing breathless. The way he was looking at her, took her breath away. Not a shy bone in this male body. Right then, she realized she needed to brace up, bare up and turn on the super power to repel what she was seeing. His eyes might as well be his hands, because the effect was exactly the same as if he were actually touching her. Following his eyes, she knew exactly where he would be touching her, and that area of her body responded. She hated that!

  "JAKE! Stop it! What - are you doing here?!" She asked more forcefully. Her body was not following her head.

  Still he stared up her body to her breasts, she wore no bra. To Vivian's horror, her nipples hardened like pebbles with the intensity of his stare. Finally his eyes traveled from her breasts to her lips, her face and then her eyes.

  They stood quiet staring at one another. Vivian grew more and more afraid of him. She wasn't used to a man like this, what made it even worse, she was in love with him, 'Lord Jesus and your father... help... help me please.' She prayed in her mind and tried to draw him out again.

  "Look, I was in the middle of something... ummm, I'm still unpacking - I think you should go so I can finish."

  Jake stood a moment more, needing to shake himself, the look of her paralyzed him. He'd needed that moment to drink her in, to swallow deep and steady his mind. The flesh was weak and his was far beyond that.

  "Why didn't you call me - tell me you'd moved already?" He asked standing where he was.

  "I told you - not to come Jake - I told you - to - to leave me alone."

  "You didn't mean that and you know it." He returned confidently.

  "Jake ... I meant every word I said. Now, had you listened to me, you wouldn't have wasted your time coming here today. How did you find me?!" Vivian asked as it occurred to her that he was there.

  "Don't worry about how I found you... I'm here aren't I? I told you I was coming to move you as well, you should have told me you'd already moved. You didn't because you wanted me to come."

  "I didn't because where I go... what I do... and where I live, is none of your business!"

  "I'm making it my business!" He stated boldly walking towards her, very predatory.

  "Don't Jake." Vivian whimpered backing away, her heart slamming in her chest.

  "Why don't we stop playing these games? Hm? Come on Vivian, no more games okay? No more pretending. I want you, you want me. I'm not stupid. You do want me, question is... can you handle me? You know what I can do ... don't you? You've had a taste... or rather... I've had a taste." He grew closer as she backed away. She was like a mouse cornered by a cat, scared to death of being eaten. She froze, afraid.

  "Stop it Jake - now come on ... I want you to leave." She pleaded, slowly backing herself up against a wall.

  "I wanna finish what I started ... let me finish what I started. I still have the smell of you in my head, let me inhale you again ... just one more time."

  "NO! Jake - no!" Vivian cried out, biting into her bottom
lip. He was so heady and intoxicating. She felt drunk off of the excitement that he ignited. No one, no man had ever made her feel this way. Granted, there wasn't a long list to compare him to, but Dr. Chan had never come on to her this way like Jake was coming onto her now. He made her feel out of breath, out of control and crazy with need to cave in, to just give him what he wanted to be done with it and him. If he would just stop looking at her that way. If he would just, turn those eyes off, the heat from them seem to penetrate clear through to her core. He was even closer and finally, Vivian's back was to the wall. "Jake - please..."

  "You're not a little girl Vivian ... come on, act like a woman. Show me the kind of woman you are, and I sure as hell will show you the kind of man I am."

  "I know what kind of man you are ... that's why I need you to leave."

  Jake was standing over her now, leaning against the wall, one arm braced above her head, his right hand at her shoulder, playing at the spaghetti strap there, catching it with his finger and sliding it over and off.

  Vivian tried to move her shoulder away only aiding him in sliding the strap down her arm. "Why do you keep playing these games hm? You been talking to my mother? She telling you to deny me? Is that it - huh? You think you're gonna get a ring out'ah me?"

  "MOVE! Get away from me!" She shoved at him, and the contact was too much. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into him as he pressed his body against her. "You - are running through my blood - like poison - you're making me - sick with this - just one - one time ..." He gasped through clenched teeth trying to kiss her. Vivian's head went left and then right to avoid his seeking mouth.

  "I told you I don't want anything - from - nooo Jake - stop it."

  "I want you dammit ... just one time - I'm not gonna fucking beg you."

  "Then let me go! Leave me alone!"

  "Why ... so that little Chinese fucker can have you? Is that it, he back now?"

  "Let go o'me!" Vivian pressed.

  "If it's not him, someone else? Hmmm, you touching yourself... that it?" He growled.

  Vivian swung and slapped him, hard and then punched at his chest to get him away from her.

  "That's the last time you're gonna to do that dammit... I'm not gonna have it!" He warned, pushed away from her, grabbed her arm snatching her to flip over his arm, forcing her partially bared bottom up and in the exact place he needed it, he slapped it as hard as he dared with his large callused hand and flipped her back on her feet as she screamed from the pain of it.

  "OOOOOW - YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLE!!! THAT HURT!!!" Vivian screamed, rubbing, the stinging area, eyes shooting daggers at him in disbelief, it hurt so bad, it brought tears to her eyes.

  "That's the third time you've hit me! In the club! In the van, now again... I'm not gonna have that shit! I'm not that kind of fucking white man! Do it again and I'll slap you on your ass again - but harder - try me!"

  "You're freakin' insane Jake!" She cried out, tears falling from her eyes. Her ass was on fire, that had hurt like hell. He might as well have hit her with a plank of wood compared to his hand... same painful results. "Why can't you just leave me alone! I've left you alone - moved - and here you are, still messing with me, I don't want you! Leave me alone!" She rasped.

  "You're making me insane! You make no sense! Playing these games! Teasing me! Throwing yourself at me!"

  "When have I thrown myself at you!? When? Never! Not once!"

  "In that goddamn red dress! Dancing that way, looking at me! That's when! I remember - remember it well! In the other place when I came back to see you, that fuckin' kiss you laid on me... yeah! Uh huh, remember now?! I can't get it out of my head! Wearing that fucking Zebra get up..." He was breathing hard, staring at her.

  Vivian gulped, she wanted him to go. She wanted him to stay. She wanted him bad. She wanted him forever, worse! 'Yes yes yes yes yes! Guilty on all counts! God help me I want him so bad ... even with my ass raw - I want him!'

  "Admit it! Admit that you want me!"

  "All I'll admit is - that what I want ... you don't."

  "This is insane! YOU'RE DRIVIN' ME INSANE!!! Look, we're adults here. I'm a man, you're a woman right? Hey - we should at least see if we're compatible... right? Like a test run."

  "No!"

  He charged at her picking her up off the ground and pressing her back to the wall, "Yes dammit, I know you fuckin' want me... I know you do."

  His face was buried at her throat, kissing her as she tried to push him off of her, he went from her throat down her chest towards her breasts, Vivian was about to lose it and she played something she prayed would change him.

  "You gonna rape me like you did Edwina?" She gasped, breathing hard, "I didn't believe her at first ... but now..."

  The shock of her words were like pouring on ice water, he let her slide to the floor and moved back from her, staring at her. "I never raped her." He denied with wide eyes.

  "That's what she said you did. She called the police and everything." Vivian was trying to catch her breath. "They went to Sheila's looking for your location, your address to find you ... charge you. I went to her place, called her a liar and kicked her ass. Yet, look at you here. I'm not so sure now."

  "I NEVER FUCKIN' RAPED HER! THE LYING BITCH!!!" Jake shouted outraged. "I've never forced myself on anyone!"

  "Oh no?" Vivian asked letting the obvious meaning hang between them.

  Jake reigned himself all the way in and took control as he stood staring at her. What he'd done to her, he'd never done to anyone. Yes, he saw it now. He was pushing to the limits, desperate for her to give into him. He wanted her that bad. Hated rejection that bad. Having never really tasted it - it was bitter. Instead of saying the right thing, he lashed out.

  "Fuck it ... you know what ... it's just a piece of ass. Besides, I was never much attracted to black women anyway." He launched at her, shocking Vivian enough that she could not hide the gasp that escaped her.

  "Well ... with all things considered, it's a good thing you're leaving. Good thing we never got anywhere. Let me show you the door." She went to it, about to open it.

  He was there in an instant, closing it back standing there over her, breathing hard. "I'm sorry I said that ... I didn't - I didn't mean it." He gasped in disbelief. "Fuckin' hell, I'm not myself anymore, God, believe me, I didn't mean that." He apologized, afraid of leaving her with that impression of him.

  "Yeah well, like I said - whatever this was, it's not for us." She went to pull the door open again and he laid on it shoving it back.

  "I'm not gonna keep coming back here. Do you hear me? I'm not gonna be running up and down the road, looking like a fool, some goddamn idiot after you - begging you."

  "Then don't."

  "How ... how can you not want me? Why are you so determined to deny me? What's wrong with me wanting you, and you giving in to what we feel? Hm? Tell me why?"

  Vivian stood still a moment, unable to move. Finally she turned beneath him, within his arms and looked up at him, her back to the door. She bared her soul. "I want, marriage, babies ... two or three. Permanence, stability and something real and lasting. I thought, crazy as it may seem, you were the one."

  "You are a little girl. Dreaming, believing in fairy tales, white knights in shining armor ... happily ever after." He searched her beautiful eyes, his index finger caressing the skin of her cheek, her beauty was amazing. "You poor thing, I'm no more a knight than that Doctor. Man like me, I won't bring you a happy ending. But I would please you with everything in me. I would bring you pleasure you've never known ... that's what I'm good at. Making you feel good for the here and now."

  "I want, here, now and tomorrow, as well." Vivian murmured, looking into his eyes. "Remember, all ... or nothing."

  "That's the problem... lil'girl ... tomorrow - is promised to no one. But I can love you like hell, today."

  "Did you hear me? All or nothing. What you offer, that's not love, that's just sex. Lust and intercourse. I'm not interested."

  Jake stood
back from her, staring at her. He stared long and hard, and finally realized what music was playing in the background. It took him by surprise, the expression on his face showed it. "You're listening to classical music?"

  "Yes, its calm, peaceful ... relaxing." She admitted.

  "Jesus Christ, what the hell am I doing here?" He asked himself aloud. He looked into her living room, again at her things, the music playing, and then back at her.

  "I'm gonna go now." He said softly. "I won't be back."

  Vivian felt a moment of panic. Something told her he meant it this time. She could see it. She could tell by the look in his eyes. He reached up and touched her again.

  "Last chance ... you sure? I wouldn't hurt you." He asked and assured her, unable to keep himself from touching her skin.

  Vivian's heart took off so heavy and hard in her chest tears rushed to her eyes and spilled over onto his fingers.

  Jake looked at it, and brought the moist tear drop to his mouth and sucked it off. He gave her a sad smile, leaned down and kissed her brow, then grabbed her door and pulled it open and stepped out of it. "Goodbye, Vivian Cooke. You're one - helluva woman."

  "Wait! Jake..." She was panicking.

  He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked back at her, waiting.

  Vivian bit into her bottom lip, "I need to say something to you - before you walk away."

  "What?" He asked softly, standing there.

  "You don't know this now ... but I was meant for you. I am, the one person - woman - you can believe in - you can trust. Were I yours, no man ... no man - would come between us, would dare lay his hands on me - only you Jake ... only you." She couldn't stop her tears from flowing. "You don't know it yet ... but I'm the one ... I would love you, the way you need someone to love you." She sniffed crying, "... I'm the one. I just wanted you to know that." She stepped back and closed her door.