BOMAW 4-6

by Mercedes Keyes

  She stood against it wiping at her tears, waiting for him to come back, at the same time that she knew, he would not.

  Jake stood on the step, waiting for her to reopen that door, but as he stood, he knew she would not. He turned and went to his truck, climbed inside and sat a moment lost in thought. Taking a deep breath, he started it up and took off.

  Chapter 137

  "Hello, McPherson's." Gert answered the phone.

  "Hi ... it's - it's me ... Vivian."

  "Vivian? What's wrong darlin' - why you crying?"

  "Its over. He left here today ... and I can tell you now - he's never coming back." Vivian sniffed. She needed to get passed this. She didn't want to talk to Sylvia or Sheila, she needed exactly who she was speaking with.

  "What makes you think that? Have you gone to bed with him?"

  "No ma'am ... I didn't ... oooh but he wanted me to ... yes he did." She sniffed, "But I was strong - and - I stuck to my guns, and - well, he's gone now. I know he's not coming back."

  "Listen to me. In fact, you wanna come here?"

  "Come there?"

  "Yes."

  "No - I can't, I have to work Monday morning."

  "I wish you would, you'd be more than welcome. I got plenty of room. We could go riding around on my land in the John Deere, go hunting for wild mushrooms. And talk 'till we can't talk no more."

  "As tempting as it sounds, its best that I don't. I called you because ... I want you to know that - well - you alone would have been worth us making it. Just having you to talk to. That we're not going to make it, that's what I'll miss the most."

  "You just hush that nonsense! Gal, you are my black velvet! And my son - is a fool! If he can walk away and not come back to you, he's no son of mine and I don't know him. I'm telling you honey, you hang in there. It may not be tomorrow, or next week ... but Jake - is going on forty years old. He's fighting it and fighting what he really needs. If you just hang on - he'll come through for you. That's why I want you to come here. You may not think so, but it would help you, and it would mean the world to me, and - you'd get to meet his father and know him."

  "Maybe, one day."

  "You'd only have to stay the weekend. Just think, you could be on a Amtrak train Friday evening, and get here that night, we'd be there to pick you up. Stay with us 'til Sunday and then back to Chicago Monday."

  "But - Jake - well - he rented that place here, for the weekends, if I'm there ... then he might miss me."

  "And what's wrong with him showing up and finding you not there? You gonna sit around, moping and depressed, waiting on him? Why? There's no reason why you can't enjoy yourself and go on with your life. Don't need a man to stay busy and have fun do you? Surely you made of better things than that? Aren't you?"

  "Yes ma'am ... I am."

  "I know you are! So ... not this weekend, but another one, we'll make plans for you to come up, is that a deal? You don't have to tell nobody and nobody has to know."

  Vivian smiled, feeling better already, even so she needed to be reasonable. "We're not together Gert, I shouldn't be coming there. What if he comes there and sees me there, it'll only push him further away."

  "Look, I'm not gonna push you. But you are welcome here! In fact, I insist that at some point, you make plans to come, or else I'll start to feel bad."

  "Okay okay ... I don't know when, but - I will ... I promise ... I'll come and spend a weekend with you."

  "You know what? When you're feeling down, like you were just now and need someplace to tuck away and hide to renew yourself, here is where I want you to come. Understand? So that's when I expect to see you here. Then I'll know."

  Vivian chuckled, "All right, I think I'm going to have to bite the bullet and buy myself a car."

  * * *

  Jake didn't bother going to the front door, he walked around the side of Dennis and Sheila's home because he could hear music playing in the back yard. Coming through the gate, he saw Dennis there, who looked up and saw him, smiling.

  "Hey man... what's up?" Dennis asked, but he could see by the look on Jake's face, he was not in a good mood. He was no longer angry, but a bit down, for sure.

  "Nothing much, where's my boys?"

  "They in the alley shooting hoops. Shawn out there with'em. Man my shooting days is over, I'll play some horse ... but I can't be going how they doing it." Dennis grinned, rubbing his gut, "Took some doing to get this on, I'm aiming to keep it."

  Jake shook his head smiling. "Where's Sheila and Sylvia?"

  "They in the house. Soon as they know you here, they gone be in there on the phone, in yo' business!"

  Jake closed his eyes sighing.

  "Man, you need a beer?" Dennis asked.

  "I gotta drive back to Wisconsin."

  "Man you got that place at Ms Martin's don'cha?"

  "Yeah but my boys might need to get back." Jake explained.

  "Them boys of yours ain't in no hurry to go no where. They in that alley havin' a good time. 'Bout ten of them out there, my son Robert here - he out there, a couple of his friends come over, they shootin' hoops and sipping brew."

  "The hell with it, pass me one." Jake gave in.

  Dennis walked over to the huge ice chest, opened it and pulled out a "Bud" for him. "This okay?"

  "I'm an Old Style man myself, but Bud will do."

  "That's your brother's choosing."

  "Ah yeah, he does like Budweiser. Dennis... how long you been married now?"

  "Ah man... let me think? We got married right after Sheila graduated from high school, that would be - twenty-two years now." He answered, checking the barbecue, it was almost done, he'd be adding chicken shortly.

  "You ever - ever regret it? Wished you hadn't done it?"

  "Naw. I like having one woman when I need her too much. 'Sides, all bullshit aside, that woman in there my heart. She be up to some shit though ... that ain't no lie." Dennis laughed, making Jake laugh as he sipped from his beer. "Ah man, but she makes me laugh. Me and Sheila, we got that special something, a kind of bond - that would only be found with us. I understand her completely and she understands me. We fuss now, man ... don't let us get to fighting - but hey, that's all part of it, know what I'm saying. Shit - I get her in that room, man ... make up - it be sweet. That ain't no lie."

  "Even after twenty-two years?"

  "Hell yeah man ... hell yeah - even better. Because - time - it validates the shit. You know what I'm saying, we sometimes, lay in bed at night, the boys be sleeping, and we just talk. Talk about all kinds of shit, some shit be funny - some shit not - it just depends, know what I'm saying? And uh - that's the one place, the one person - who I know beyond all other's that got my back! My woman - a good woman, like what I got - won't let shit take place in your home to bring you down. No matter what. Man that, that right there - I'on care what no body say, I'on care what no man say ... hell I don't care what you say, 'bout bein' single and doin' all kinds of woman - that shit don't come close to that special bond, that connection with the right one. I got that. And - although there gonna be problems, your brother got that with Sylvia. I'm tellin' you now, that man love that woman."

  "I know he does. She loves him that way as well."

  "Yeah she do. Don't mean no problems though - just mean - you got something worth fightin' to keep. Shit to sort, and every time you conquer one together, it make that shit between you strong - as hell! I love it man. I don't never wanna be by myself."

  Jake took another drink from his beer, and stood from leaning on the picnic bench, "Let me go see what my boys wanna do."

  "Yeah man, gone head back there."

  Dennis went into the house to get the chicken to put on the grill, as Jake walked to the back gate, looking into the alley at the crowd of young men. Shawn was there, among them, playing basketball. They were all sweaty with their shirts pulled up the front and back up over their heads to keep cool. Shawn, Benjamin, Robert and a black young man Jake didn't recognize, had their shirts off.

&
nbsp; Waiting for the scrambling to cease Jake watched his brother move in and out, with Benjamin playing defense behind him. Benjamin was guarding the ball as Shawn faked left and then right, scrambling for a lay up. Leaning against the garage he watched them and sighed. Out of the blue, his mind boldly declared, 'Father and son.'Over the years, from the time he first saw Benjamin, he must have been about two months old when he finally forced himself to look - he knew right away, that he was Shawn's. Seeing him, knowing it, hadn't made him more angry way back then, but resolved. His brother was gone. Partly because of him, heart broken because he was gone, he'd smiled at his son, touched his small hand and accepted his lot in life. No, he hadn't been a good father to him, to the other two that were in fact his either for that matter, but he was proud of them. Especially proud of Benjamin. Mainly speaking, because he could have fought and refused to do what his father insisted, and left, as Shawn did; but he hadn't wanted to leave. He wanted for once, for something he did, to make his father proud of him. So he stayed, smiled at the child that carried his name and carried on. It may have taken a few years, after he'd messed up a few times more, but his father had finally come to like him, some, and express it.

  Jake took another drink. Shawn was worn out, he smiled at the boys, slapped a few palms in high five and made his way to Jake, sweating and blowing, needing to cool off. "You back." He commented.

  "Yep."

  "You okay?" Shawn asked.

  "Yep ... you know me."

  "How well I do. So I guess the next question is ... is she okay?"

  Jake hesitated. Shawn watched his eyes. "Don't hurt her man." Shawn said before he could answer.

  "Got no plans to."

  "What does that mean?"

  "Just that ... got no plans to hurt her. She's a good girl - I'm thinkin'. I'll be leaving her alone ... that way, no chance of her gettin' hurt."

  "She's in love, with you, Jake."

  "Don't Shawn ... leave it alone. I'll give her space, she's young - she'll meet someone else and that will be that."

  "And that's okay with you?"

  "It'll have to be won't it? I mean come on, what's the big fucking deal. I just met her for god's sake - she just met me. We both just got swept up in some crazy - crazy rush of - of - hell I don't know. I'm leaving it alone."

  Shawn stood with his hands tied. "You're a grown man, but I think you're making a mistake. For your sake, I pray you come to your senses before its too late." Having said his piece, Shawn entered the gate passing him by and walked back into the yard with Dennis. Jake listened to them laughing and joking around behind him, Shawn talking about not being as young as he use to be.

  "What's up dad?" Paul asked walking to the gate, Benjamin and Kevin behind him.

  "What do you guys wanna do?"

  "Don't know, what do you wanna do?" Kevin spoke up.

  "I don't know." Jake muttered, feeling at a loss with no direction. He took another drink of his beer.

  "Why don't we stay by here for the evening?" Benjamin asked.

  "You want to?" Jake asked first him, then looking towards the other two.

  "We're cool here - having a good time." The census was between them.

  "Why don't you just stay and let's enjoy it here tonight?" Kevin again.

  Jake gave no answer right away. He didn't really want to stay, because Vivian was friends with Sheila and Sylvia, what if she wanted to come there? It wasn't a good idea for him to stay. Dennis' sons were coming into the gate, Jake stood aside, smiling at them to let them through, his sons followed, enjoying Robert and Zachary's company. Robert was a computer brainiac just as Kevin was - Zachary loved Play-Station two, Paul promised a game with him and Benjamin just wanted to hang out.

  They led the way back into the yard with Jake following trying to make up his mind. He stayed for an hour more still trying to make up his mind when Sylvia and Sheila came out of the house heading down the yard together. He watched them knowing already where they were heading.

  "Where you going?" Dennis asked Sheila.

  "Cross the alley." She returned, fighting not to look at Jake.

  Shawn was sipping on his fifth beer and eying his wife. Sylvia would glance his way and then away. Shawn was too loose to worry over what was wrong now, he was having a good time with Dennis. Jake's sons were there, he and Benjamin were talking about things, and then it suddenly dawned on him as the earlier discussion came back to him. He caught his wife looking at Benjamin and then at him, the light came on. When her eyes came back to him, he winked at her, and her nose went into the air. He burst out laughing, it had been a while since she looked down her nose at him, he loved little things about her like that. He puckered up and threw her a kiss. Try as she might not to, she ended up grinning at him. She couldn't resist when he winked and flirted with her. He gave a side toss of his head for her to come to him.

  "No Shawn, we're going across the alley."

  "Get over here." He commanded, though smiling.

  "What you want?" She asked, trying not to laugh. Sheila was helping Dennis get cooked meat in a pan.

  "What you think ... get over here." He reiterated.

  Blushing, Sylvia walked up to him, soon as she was in reach, he grabbed her by the waist and hauled her in close by his side. "You something else you know that?" He started. "I don't know what you talking about." She mumbled close and low for his ears only. "Yeah you do. Gimme a kiss and stop giving me dirty looks." Him saying so made her flash him another one, she simply couldn't help it, Shawn laughed shaking his head. "What reason would I have for giving you dirty looks?" She asked. He calmed enough to answer, "You're a woman aren't you? Bound to be hundreds of reasons, thousands even. God only knows which one is the right one."

  "Hey you two... cut that out - no lovey dovey before the children." Dennis teased now that he had things under control due to his wife's assistance.

  Shawn smiled and kissed Sylvia's cheek before she could deny him and protest. "Gone 'bout your way now." He scooted her off with is hand on her rear. She swatted at it and followed behind Sheila out of the yard.

  Shawn turned taking a drink from his beer to see his brother's eyes on him, Shawn raised his beer in a toast to him.

  Jake toasted back, both done without words, yet Jake was thinking, 'To you my brother, he, who has it all. Wife, successful career, daughter, baby on the way - and not a care in the world ... and as much as I love you, there are times when I just don't like you.'

  * * *

  Across town, Lucas was shutting down for the night. Roy-lee had gone home and he'd made the last call that he was going to for the night. He was tired. It was late and he just wanted to make himself something to eat, and hit the sack. He wished he'd stopped and gotten him something, but he just wanted to get back to the yard. Soon as he got everything locked up tight, someone was laying on the buzzer.

  "Goddammit - now who the hell this time o'evenin'? I ain't towing shit - ti'ed, hell." He mumbled ambling to the monitor to look at the person standing outside the gate. He had to squint and look close. It looked like a woman. She was holding something long in her arms, he watched her ring the buzzer again. "Who the hell is that?" He wondered scratching his head. Walking from the small black and white monitor, he went to the counter and suppressed the intercom button.

  "We closed for the night, come back tomorra'!"

  "I know you closed... that's why I come now... 'cause you closed."

  Lucas stood away from the counter stunned. Staring. His brain deciphering the sense of that statement and the voice it had been delivered in. It had been a many years, where lots of things had changed, but that voice - it rang a bell. Again the buzzer rang.

  "What you want? Who is you?"

  "It's me Lucas."

  "Me? Who the hell is me? I'on know no me!"

  "Me as in - yo' wife - Lydia ... don't make me stand out here Lucas. I bring you something to eat." She petitioned softly.

  Lucas went from the intercom back to the monitor peering cl
oser. He could now make out that what she was holding, it was an oblong pan with foil covering it. He looked at the woman standing there, all he could make out was the dark top of her head and that she was wearing a light colored sweater over her clothing. She rang the buzzer again.

  "Goddammit!" He grumbled. "What the hell she want?! How the hell she find me?!" He went on to mumble going back to the intercom. "Hang on a minute! I let you in, jus' keep yo' hand off that buzzer!"

  * * *

  Jake lay in bed at the basement flat, Kevin and Benjamin took to the twin beds in the second room and Paul didn't mind the sofa, he was watching the t.v. they'd run to Walmart to buy on the way from Dennis and Sheila's. He'd picked up a DVD player and a couple of movies as well. They'd brought back food from the barbecue because it had been too good not to take some to munch on later. His son's had a really good time and he'd ended up staying because Sheila and Sylvia, once the food was done, came and made a big serving for the three of them, they and Vivian that is and returned to her place, leaving the men to fend for themselves. While he too enjoyed being there, he was ever aware that she chose to stay home to avoid him. While it shouldn't have, it left a nasty feeling in his stomach, one he tried to drown in the beer he drank. As tired as he was from losing sleep the previous night, one would think he would just pass out and off to sleep.

  He couldn't. He was in fact laying on his back. His mobile phoned suspended up above him as he stared at her name in it while holding it there. Vivian - with her mobile phone number beneath it. He stared at it because all he had to do, was click one little button and it would ring her. She would answer, and then what?

  His arm dropped over his eyes, the other hand scratching his belly, he reached down into his shorts and adjusted himself to a more comfortable place feeling like he was squashing everything between his legs. Pulling his hand free, he laid it on his stomach. He didn't have to look at what he did, his thumb pushed the button on the phone. He put it to his ear listening, waiting.