“I’m doing the best I can,” I grit out honestly. “Every day I wake-up and vow to do the best I possibly can. That’s the most I can do. That’s the most any of us can do when it comes to raising a child.” This shuts her up for a moment, so I continue. “I can understand why you don’t approve of me, but I’ve changed. I’m not the man I once was. My brother’s death was the catalyst for me becoming a better person. Everything I do, I do for Grey. And if that’s not enough—I don’t know what the hell will be.”
Ronnie returns with a now happy Grey before either Mae or Lincoln can respond to my comment. She must sense my unease because she doesn’t hand him off until I take a deep breath and tell her to. Mae’s face is abashed, but she doesn’t look very apologetic. Lincoln looks exactly like his wife, letting me know that while he didn’t voice his opinion, he definitely agrees with her.
“What happened?” Ronnie asks as soon as they’re out of earshot.
“Nothing,” I sigh, but she nudges me and I know I have to continue. “They were just tearing into me again about being Grey’s guardian.”
“Well, fuck them,” she calmly exclaims, taking me by surprise. Ronnie rarely swears but whenever she does, I want to kiss the hell out of her. It’s so raw, honest, and an insane turn-on.
“I guess I can understand where they’re coming from. They’re just looking out for their grandchild’s best interest.”
“I know, but you lost someone, too. And you’re doing the best you can.”
“Maybe they’ll warm up to the idea of me being Grey’s guardian eventually.” As I look across the room and watch Mae and Lincoln playing with my son, I can’t help but feel happy. I’m glad he has more people in his life that love him. As long as they’re good to him, that’s all that matters. I don’t care if they feel the need to treat me like shit. “Honestly, I’m just happy he hasn’t decided to call you ‘mama’ while they’ve been around. I’ve been paranoid about that.”
Ronnie nods. “I have, too. I didn’t want to have to explain that to the parents of his real mother. It would be terribly awkward for me.”
“You’re okay with him calling you that though, right? I know you love him like your own, so I’m sure it’s only natural he believes you’re his mother.”
“I’m okay with it,” Ronnie says a bit shyly.
We skipped lunch, except giving Grey some snacks to tie him over so we can stay at the museum for a few more hours. We finally decide to head out for an early dinner before we say our goodbyes. Neither Mae nor Lincoln ever really warmed up to me, but by the end of dinner they both seemed at peace with the fact that I’m Grey’s guardian. This seemed to be their first steps in accepting their daughter’s decision. They were sad to see their grandson go—but I assured them that we’d try to visit as often as possible. We snapped a few pictures of them with Grey, so they’d have something to remember this trip by. It’s nice seeing him in the loving arms of his grandparents. I’d been close to my grandma. She’d always treated Dean and me equally. She was one of the few people who always made me feel truly cared for. I’d been a mess for a long time after she died.
Before we leave the museum to head back to the hotel, I text Lincoln the pictures. I hope it’ll be something for them to hold onto while their grandson is hours away in Evergreen. As we begin to walk to the car Lincoln stops me, asking if he could have a word before we take off. I’m wary at first because the last time they had a moment alone with me they reminded me just how shitty they thought I was. However, the look on his face tells me this conversation will be different.
“Look, Trevor,” he starts off as soon as we’re out of earshot from everyone else. “I know we haven’t been too kind to you on this trip, but we really want you to know that we appreciate you. We appreciate you taking the time to drive all the way here to bring Greyson for a visit with us. I’m just hoping the way we’ve acted hasn’t scared you away. Mae can’t travel… and I hope you know how much we love our grandson and I hope the way we treated you doesn’t hinder your decision when it comes to allowing us to see him again.”
I can’t tell if he’s apologizing to me, or merely bullshitting me so I’ll feel bad enough to bring Greys back for another visit. “Is this an apology?” I question incredulously.
Lincoln’s quick to nod. “Of course, we’re very sorry, Trevor. I know my daughter would’ve been mortified if she were here to see the way we’ve treated you and your girlfriend.”
I take a deep breath, still not completely buying it. “It’s all right. I know how hard things have been and I understand.” I begin to walk away, but Lincoln remains where he is, standing on the edge of the parking lot. I turn, not wanting to stoop to their level by treating them the same way they’ve been treating me. “We’ll come back as soon as we can, Lincoln, I promise. You’ll get to see your grandson again. I want him to have as many people who love him in his life as possible.” Lincoln seems satisfied with this and I give him one final wave goodbye before walking away.
“What was that about?” Ronnie asks as soon as I slide into the car.
“He just wanted to apologize and wanted to ask if we were going to bring Grey back to visit.”
“What did you say?”
“I accepted his apology and said we’d come back as soon as we could.”
“So, he apologized for his behavior,” Ronnie says with a disbelieving laugh. “After the way they were looking at us all night I would’ve never imagined.”
“Well, it wasn’t much of an apology. But I didn’t want to stoop to their level and get all vindictive.”
“You’re a great person, Trev. Much more patient than I would’ve been.”
“Yeah.” I chuckle. “I saw the looks you were giving them.”
“Well, I have to protect what’s mine,” she says without shame.
“Is that what I am? ‘Yours’?” I ask, unable to keep the huge smile off my face.
“Of course. And I’m yours.”
“You’ve been mine all along,” I tease her, before holding her hand over the center console.
The next few days are long and tedious. I’ve never been so eager to get back to Evergreen. As soon as we arrive home at our apartment, I practically kiss the ground. I’m so thankful we made it back safely and tonight I can sleep in my own bed. We don’t bother unpacking our suitcases and merely changed into our pajamas. I order take-out so we can veg out in front of the television and relax after a long, hard drive home. I have to go back to work bright and early tomorrow morning. I wish I could just take another personal day and spend the day in bed with my beautiful girlfriend. Too bad I’m an adult with responsibilities.
Ronnie spends the night at my place and makes love to me before I pass out shortly before midnight. I wake-up before my alarm clock goes off. I groan before sliding out of bed, careful not to wake her. I jump into a hot shower with the hopes that it’ll wake me up. To my surprise, I hear the bathroom door open and close and I turn to look just in time to watch my girl strip out of her pajamas through the clear shower curtain. I’m already smiling at what she has planned before she joins me under the hot water. She doesn’t say anything, merely kisses me and drops to her knees before me. Now, I’m fully awake. I gasp as her lips wrap around my cock and brace myself against the slippery shower wall as she sucks me off. As soon as she rolls my balls around in her hand, I come. She swallows every bit before standing up to hold me.
“I love you, baby,” she says simply before kissing my shoulder.
“God, I love you, too, Ronnie. So much.” I pull back, wanting to do something to please her despite my exhaustion. “Now, it’s your turn.”
“No, baby. Don’t worry about that. This morning was about you. Besides, you’ve got to be at work soon and I don’t want to make you late.” She kisses my cheek before slipping out of the shower. “Get ready and I’ll make you some breakfast and coffee.”
“Fuck, I love you, baby.”
“I know you do,” she utters coyly before leaving the bathroom
.
I roll up to work, whistling a merry fucking tune. Something which I’ve never done in my entire existence. Jaxson gives me a knowing grin as soon as he sees me and pats me firmly on the back as I walk by.
“You look like a man that’s just had an amazing lay this morning,” he says, fucking with me.
I roll my eyes and punch his shoulder. “No, man, it’s not that.” I laugh and continue, “Well, it is that, but it’s also so much more than that.”
Jaxson gives me an expectant look and takes a chug of his water.
I feel embarrassed about bringing this shit up at work because I don’t like getting all mushy with these guys. Besides I rarely talk about my feelings. In spite of myself, I’m so fucking happy I can’t contain it. With a shit-eating grin, I tell him, “My girl and I exchanged ‘I love yous.’ ”
Jaxson’s face lights up like a fucking Christmas tree and he slaps me jovially on the back again as he says, “That’s amazing, man! I knew Ronnie loved you. I mean, I figured she must with the way you talk about her all of the time.”
I laugh, unable to wipe the smirk off my face. “I know I do, man. I just can’t help bringing her up all of the time.” All I do is think about her, so it’d make sense if all I do is talk about her, as well.
“You and Ronnie should come out with me and my girlfriend sometime,” Jaxson suggests.
I’ve never met his girlfriend, but he talks about her a hell of a lot, as well. Maybe she could become a good friend to Ronnie? “That’d be awesome, man. It would be nice hanging out with another couple.”
He promises to make plans soon before he heads back to work. The day goes by quickly. I spend most of my time thinking about how good it will feel to get home to Ronnie and Grey. After spending every second with them over these past few days, it’s odd being on my own—even if it’s just for ten hours.
I call Ronnie before leaving work, just needing to hear her voice because I can’t wait another twenty minutes until I arrive home. “How’s your day been, babe?” She sighs, and I know she’s spent, too. Watching a baby all day can be more exhausting than working under the hot sun.
“It’s been fine. Grey’s been really active today,” she says with a tired laugh.
“Aw, sweetheart. Let me grab something to eat on the way home. I don’t want you to have to worry about dinner tonight.”
“As long as it’s no trouble for you...” Ronnie trails off. Although, she obviously doesn’t want to admit it, I know she needs a break. She works from home while taking care of Grey. I know how difficult that must be.
“It’s no trouble,” I assure her, as I make my way to my truck. “I’ll just stop by a sandwich shop and pick something up.”
“Sounds good.” I can hear the smile in her voice. “I love you.”
This is the first time she’s said it over the phone. It causes my breath to catch in my throat. With a giant grin, I respond, “I love you, too, baby. I’ll be home soon.”
“Drive safely.”
I end up at a nearby deli, which is packed with the five o’clock crowd. To occupy my time while I’m waiting in line I swipe through pictures of Ronnie and Grey on my phone. As I’m deciding what to order in my head, I see a face I recognize. It’s the older, beautiful woman from the supermarket; she’s waiting for her order at the pick-up counter. I can’t help but watch her. It’s not because of an attraction I have for her or any shit like that. I’m too invested in my girl to think about anyone else in that way. I stare at her because I’m trying to fucking place her. Why the fuck does she seem so familiar?
I continue to observe her, hoping she doesn’t notice me. Her auburn hair has been freshly cut and styled, and her slim figure is dressed in—what looks to be—a very expensive outfit. She doesn’t look much different than the other women in town, yet, there is something about her that stands out to me.
“Sir?”
My eyes dart to the counter, where a teenager standing behind the cash register is giving me a confused look. Feeling fucking embarrassed for gawking at a stranger for so long, I step forward and quickly place my order. As I grab my ticket and move down to the pick-up counter, I feel compelled to talk to this woman. I don’t know what’s possessing me, but I manage to hold myself back and keep my mouth shut. The woman’s order is up, which consists of two large coffees to go. She grabs them while quickly thanking the barista before heading out. My eyes follow her as she leaves.
She’s greeted by a man as soon as she exits the deli. A man I know all too fucking well. My mind is reeling, and I’m paralyzed with shock. He greets her warmly—too warmly—as if she’s an old friend. He doesn’t see me because if he did notice me, I can’t imagine what the fuck he’d say. What could he say? It’s obvious there’s something going on between them. He laughs at something this woman says. I watch in shock as they walk away, hand in hand, until they’re out of my sight.
“Sir?” A different teen asks, holding up my order.
I hand her my ticket and take my food, feeling completely numb as I leave the deli. What the hell did I just witness? And why the fuck did it make me feel so sick? I’ve got a bad fucking feeling about this.
chapter 29
longview
I walk through the door of my apartment in a daze. My mind is still reeling from what I’ve just witnessed. I’m honestly surprised that I made it home without getting into an accident. The whole way home my thoughts were entirely centered around my father and that woman. I just can’t stomach the way he was looking at her like she was his entire world. I cringe at the fucking thought.
“Dada!”
I shake the thoughts from my head and focus on the present—knowing it’s something which won’t upset me. Ronnie’s sitting on the floor next to my son, who is on his feet, clapping his hands and waving at me. He takes one step toward me, and then another before promptly falling to the floor on his ass. I’m surprised to see that the fall doesn’t make him cry, instead, he gives me a huge grin and waves his little hand again in my direction.
“Dada!” he exclaims before crawling across the carpet as quickly as he can to reach me. “Dada! Dada! Dada!” he continues to squeal as he moves his little body across the floor.
I drop to the floor and wait for him to reach me. My problems always feel as though they evaporate the exact fucking second I see my son. He’s a breath of fresh air. It’s moments like these when I realize just how much I fucking need him. I hold my arms out and scoop him up as soon as he’s within arm’s length. I kiss the fuzzy hair atop his head and take a deep, comforting breath—inhaling the scent of his baby powder and lotion.
“He’s been dying for you to get home,” Ronnie informs me with an adorable smile. She studies me for a moment, and then her beautiful smile falters. I must still look pale as a fucking ghost. “Are you all right, baby?”
I place my cheek on top of Grey’s head and close my eyes, absorbing the gentle comfort he provides. “I’m fine. It was nothing.”
She gives me a look which says, Babe, you’re a terrible fucking liar. “What was nothing?”
I roll my eyes and continue, “I saw my dad when I was picking up our dinner.”
She gives me a quizzical look as she asks, “And that’s a bad thing?”
How the hell do I tell her? I feel like if I say this aloud—it’s suddenly real. Has my dad been screwing around on my mother? While I’ve never been too fond of my mom, I still wouldn’t want her to be hurt in this way. She’d be heartbroken if she found out. Fuck, I’m fucking hurt enough for all of us. I’ve always looked up to my father, he’s always been a man to admire—but now—well, I’m just not sure anymore. This shakes me to the fucking core. I saw the way he was looking at that woman. It’s obvious there’s more than friendship between the two of them.
“He was there with a woman,” I finally answer. “Well, he met up with a woman there. It was the lady who approached us at the supermarket. The one you introduced yourself to.”
Ronnie thinks fo
r a moment, before her features brighten with recognition. “The beautiful one... Yeah, I remember her.” She stops to study me. “Trevor, you don’t want to jump to conclusions too quickly. It might not be what you think it is.”
I shake my head—not wanting to contemplate what this could mean any further. I head to the kitchen with the to-go bag in hand, just wanting to eat and forget about all the shit in my life. Ronnie follows behind me, carrying Grey and places him in his high chair before grabbing some plates and napkins. I place our sandwiches on the table before grabbing Grey out of his high chair and sitting down with him in my lap. I want him near me. Ronnie joins us at the table after she gets us something to drink; we eat in an uncomfortable silence. She looks like she wants to say something but doesn’t, knowing I need time to stew on this. She gives me worried glances as she eats. I try to ignore them, until they finally break me.
“I just never thought my dad was capable of doing anything wrong,” I solemnly say, feeling defeated. “I’m afraid that when I find out the truth, I won’t be able to look at him the same way. I’ve always looked up to him, Ronnie.”
“Trevor, you’re not even sure whether or not he’s done anything wrong yet. Just wait until you can talk to him face to face, and then you can be angry if you need to be.” I frown, but I know she’s right. She gives me a sad smile before continuing, “She could just be your father’s friend, a business partner, or maybe she’s just an acquaintance. Just because you saw your father talking to another woman doesn’t mean he’s having an affair. Besides, he’ll be divorced soon anyway. Not that it’s an excuse for his behavior—but if he is messing around, it might give you solace to know your mom won’t have to put up with it for very much longer.”
I give her a half-assed smile for her efforts. She’s right. The woman could just be a friend or business partner, but something about the way they interacted makes me think that’s not true. I have a bad feeling about this. “You should’ve seen them together, babe. They seemed so familiar with each other. I saw the way he fucking smiled at her. Ronnie, he’s never smiled at my mom like that. Not once.” I push my food aside, no longer hungry. “The thought of him carrying on an affair while he was married to her makes me sick. Sure, Mom wasn’t the most loving woman in the world, but she still didn’t deserve this.”
The Blessing Page 35
