Across The River

by Jeanie P Johnson

  The woman looked me up and down as her son spoke. She did not look happy, her mouth set in a disapproving straight line. However, she nodded. Then she began to speak to him in a low, firm voice as though advising him about something. He shrugged and gave a crooked smile, then said something to her, pointing to me. She looked at him sternly, shaking her head, as though she couldn’t understand his request before she finally gave him an accepting nod.

  I thought this would be the moment that Wolf would untie me, and hand me over to his mother, but that was not the case. Instead, he began marching through the village, dragging me behind him, yelling out something to those milling about, pointing to me as he spoke. He must be showing off his new possession, I decided, as I had no choice but to follow behind.

  Took-seat allowed the young men of his village to reach out and touch me, grabbing at my red hair, or patting my body as though he was showing off a newly acquired horse, and they were appraising its value. He encouraged their inspection of me, and I stood stiffly, as they made their own assessments of my worth. My humiliation was beyond repair and I began to hate Wolf. He deserved my hatred, considering he killed my family, used my body, and was now letting his friends paw me however they pleased.

  When he was through parading me through the village, he took me to the nearby river, let his breech-cloth drop, and pulled me out into the water with him, which was much deeper than the stream we had been bathing in previously. I realized the stream was fed by the river, and that was why we had followed it.

  When we were shoulder deep, Wolf removed the thong that bound us together. He began washing my hair. His gentleness surprised me, but I stood stiffly, refusing his actions to sway me. Then he turned me and braided it in one single braid down the back of my neck, tying the end with the left over thong. When Wolf turned me back to face him, he placed his hands on my shoulders. He said something to me in his language, only I had no idea of what it meant. Then his hands traced down over my breasts and continued on over my body, caressing me in an almost caring manner. This merely confused me even more.

  He looked as though he was going to kiss me again, but he acted as though he was restraining himself. Instead, he pulled me to him, placing my arms around his neck, lifting me, bringing my legs over his hips. Then to my utter surprise, I felt him pushing me down, filling me with his bulk, unexpectedly. I heard myself cry out in shock and pain. Only he was not allowing me to escape as his strong hands clutched me against him, holding me still until I accepted the situation. Slowly, he began moving me with the buoyancy of the water assisting him. I realized it was a form of rape, as he continued moving me against him until his goal had been achieved. Now, I knew I was merely Wolf’s property or slave, not his wife. All he wanted me for was to use my body.

  I was so shocked, that as soon as he finished, I pulled free and started dragging through the water to escape him, only he caught my hand and pulled me back.

  “Toosh-war-ka’ma,” he said, pointing across the river.

  Wolf was not finished with me. He directed me to the opposite shore, placing me on the soft, green grass. It appeared he had regained his virile need by that time. This time, I could see his intent, as he forced me to submit to his demands. I closed my eyes, wondering what had happened to that gentle Lenape who had introduced me to the pleasure of a man’s touch? There was no pleasure in what he was doing now, except for him, I supposed. He wanted to experience that pleasure several times, over the period of time he kept me on the bank, without offering me any pleasure in return before he was willing to bring me back to his mother’s wigwam.

  CHAPTER THREE

  It was dark by the time we entered the wigwam, but the fires down the center of it gave enough light to see what surrounded us. Inside, there were platforms of poles on either side, being used for seats and beds. I could see other people sleeping in some of the beds. They were Wolf’s mother and father, his sister and brother, his uncle and aunt, along with their younger children. There were three fires down the center and holes in the roof for the smoke to escape. Corn and herbs were hanging high from the poles of the roof and there was room to store other goods beside the doorway.

  Wolf led me to his own cot and pulled me down beside him. I was no longer expected to sleep anywhere except beside Wolf. From that moment on, Wolf made sure I remained by his side most of the time.

  Apparently, I had officially become Wolf’s slave or prisoner, however one wished to look at it. He fashioned a leather collar, which he put around my neck, leading me like a dog on a leash whenever he wished me to be with him. When he needed to be involved with his own business, such as hunting with his friends or attending lodge meetings, he turned me over to his mother’s care. She treated me kind enough, but she did not look happy, and I would watch her eyes wander to her son, as he walked away, shrugging her shoulders and shaking her head. She did not approve of the situation, but I didn’t know why? She would find chores to keep me busy since Wolf expected me to remain there, waiting for him until he had other plans for me.

  Jamie was free to run around and do as he pleased. I thought the Frenchman had told me women were honored and I would enjoy my life in the Lenape village. However, it appeared my life would be different from Lenape women’s lives. Jamie was adopted and made a member of the tribe, while my status as Wolf’s personal belonging had not seemed to change.

  There was a big ceremony, celebrating Jamie’s adoption, dipping Jamie in the river, to wash away the old person and let the new, Lenape person, emerge. Then he was considered one of them. The whole tribe danced and cheered, patting Jamie on the back, taking him under their wing to teach him the Lenape way. There was no ceremony for me, though.

  I was still not allowed to wear any clothes since I was not an official member of the village like Jamie had become, I supposed. It must have depicted my slave status. Since the simple breech-cloth was barely considered clothing to me, I didn’t see much difference. Wolf continued to parade me through the village, letting his friends touch me if they pleased. He would humiliate me by sometimes pulling me aside, and taking me on the spot, as though that was a normal thing to do. What did I expect, I asked myself? His companions had no second thoughts about raping my aunt, who had a baby in her belly, and then gleefully scalping and killing her. I should consider myself lucky, I supposed.

  It was as though he was flaunting his power over me to his friends, humiliating me by showing them how well I performed when he requested me to service him. His friends gathered around and cheered, chanting until the deed was done. I was mortified and began to hate Wolf even more.

  It all seemed to be a big game for him to show off his achievement in capturing me. The Frenchman had been wrong. Wolf had never intended to take me as his wife. When he was through with me, I assumed he would find a wife at a neighboring village for himself, and no telling what he planned to do with me then?

  Wolf had me carry the wood for the fire, as I followed behind him on my leash, or carry supplies that needed to be moved from one place to another. His friends would cheer as we passed and he would smile in return. He lent me to his mother to help work in the garden along with the other women. He lent me to his sister to take with her to gather berries and herbs. He lent me to his brother to help build a small lodge for his sister who planned to marry soon. Her mother’s lodge was full, but the new one was built close by.

  After each bath, Wolf would bring me to the shore across the river, using my body relentlessly until he was completely sated. I slept beside him in the wigwam and each morning he took me, grunting his satisfaction when he was finished. Then we would go to take the morning bath. By the time we were through, he was ready to have me again. I could not believe his constant need to have me submitting to him whenever the desire came over him. And all those times, he never kissed me like he had that one time in the stream.

  Somehow, that act of kissing me had sobered him some way, and he must have repented of ever doing it, yet I did not understand why? If it w
as so awful, why had he done it? Maybe kissing wasn’t permitted by his people I decided? It was as though he was punishing me for his desire to kiss me that day.

  As time passed, I slowly began to understand the language. I only used it in one-word sentences to ask for something or respond to a question. I did not want Wolf to know I could understand his words as much as I could because I was curious about what he was telling his friends about me when he humiliated me in their presence.

  “My woman loves me,” he would boast. “She wants my touch. She is proud to be with me and knows I am a good lover.”

  There was a time I thought Wolf could be a good lover, but now I had not seen that talent practiced since we arrived in his village. Perhaps that one kiss on his cheek, when he pushed me away was a sign to him that I must love him. I wondered if I had back then? Right now I despised him.

  Then I cringed when I overheard him saying. “My woman will bring me many children to replace those who were killed by her people. It is her wish to replace our numbers. It is why she never refuses me. I captured her for that reason. It is the way of our tribe! She likes having the honor of me putting my seed in her. She looks forward to having my children!”

  I was a mere baby-making tool to him, I thought in horror. No wonder he never ceased using me. He was hoping for the news that I had conceived. I didn’t know if I had, but I knew the moment I discovered it to be my condition, I would escape and then kill the baby when it was born! I was not going to raise a heathen’s baby! I refused to add to his tribe after he had killed my family. Who was going to replace them, I stormed to myself? Should we capture Indian woman and force them to have our offspring so our population could be replenished from their many savage attacks, I thought critically?

  I knew I could never fight Wolf off because he would probably beat me. I remembered that one slap when I had balked at his demands before. I was destined to become the mother of his child no matter what I wanted. Then when he married someone else, he would take my children and raise them as his own with his new wife, I assumed. They would be considered part of the tribe while I remained the baby maker. It did not seem like a woman’s world to me. I was considered a mere slave and baby maker, I concluded. Not a real woman!

  Now, everything started making more sense to me. When we were on our way to Wolf’s village, he did not have to prove anything to anyone. He enjoyed my company and wanted to please me. And then that day, when he kissed me, he realized he could not let his heart get involved. I was to be his prisoner and bring children to his tribe. I was not like the other young children who could be adopted and turned into Lenape people just like him because of their youth and innocence that was easy to mold.

  He had to show indifference while making everyone think I liked being his woman. If he showed tenderness towards me it would indicate weakness toward the enemy. I suppose, if I had been adopted, he could have shown me some sort of kindness or even asked me to become his wife. For some reason, he chose to keep me as a slave, rather than put me in a position to become his wife. I wasn’t sure why unless it was because of my age?

  There were times when Wolf looked at me with a certain kindness in his eyes, but when he saw me looking at him, he would turn away and pretend like it had never happened. Sometimes when he took me in the mornings before we rose, he was more gentle than before and took his time instead of just rushing to the desired end. Those times, I pretended like he actually loved me. Once we left the cot, the spell would be broken and things went back to the way he wanted the tribe to believe my relationship was with him.

  One morning, about three months after I had arrived, Wolf had left my side before I woke, and I could hear him arguing with his mother.

  “She is a hard worker. You should have no complaint,” his mother was saying. “You need to decide. Soon your manhood ceremony will arrive. Then you must think about taking We-lung-ung-si as your wife.”

  “Not yet!” Wolf hissed. “She is my woman and she must bring forth a child before I decide. What use will she be if she is barren? If she does not conceive soon, I will give her to Running Dog. He can use her as he pleases. Women do not think him to be pleasing to look at. He may never find a wife, but at least he could have a barren woman. My first raid and the one woman captive I take cannot produce. It is a mark against my manhood,” he growled his disappointment.

  When I heard his words, I shook inside with fury. He worried that others would believe he was the one who could not produce children, but he was intending to blame it on me! I believed I was now carrying Wolf’s child, only I had not said anything to Wolf because I knew he only wanted to use me to produce children and flaunt me in front of his friends while indicating that he was the one deserving all the credit. Now it was confirmed. He was planning to marry someone else, while he was expecting me to furnish him with babies on the side! He wanted nothing to do with me if I could not furnish a child. I had been mistaken about Wolf starting to fall in love with me when he had kissed me. Even if he had, he refused to have a barren slave or a barren wife if marrying me had been his first intention.

  I wanted to punish him the way he had been punishing me out of his selfishness. I would never tell him about his child. I began to make plans to escape the village before he ever discovered my condition. He would just have to find someone else to have his babies, I fumed! Secretly, I was hoping his new wife would be barren. Then he would be sorry he had not chosen me!

  That evening, I followed the rest of the tribe to the story-telling circle. The wise women of the village would tell stories to teach the children what their people believed in. Before, it had only been sounds in my ears, but slowly I began to understand the language, and the stories interested me. It was the only highlight of my day, I thought.

  The group settled down to sit around the story-telling fire, and the wise woman of the tribe began to speak.

  Long, long ago, in the beginning, at first there was only endless space, and there dwelt Kishelamakank, the Creator. Nothing else existed at this time, all was silence and there was a great peace.

  Then it was that Kishelamakank had a great vision. In this vision he saw the endless space around him filled with stars, and he saw the sun, the moon, and the Earth. On the Earth he saw mountains, valleys, lakes, rivers, and forests. He saw the trees, flowers, crops,, and grasses, and the crawling, walking, swimming and flying beings. He saw the birth of things, their growth and death, and other things that apparently lived forever. Then he heard songs, stories, laughs and cries. The Creator touched the wind and the rain, felt love and hate, courage and fear, happiness and sorrow. Then the vision passed, and it was gone!

  Kishelamakank, the Creator, had seen that which was unknown, and he thought deeply upon all that he had seen in his vision. He came to understand that the vision would come into being. When there was nothing around him but empty space, his mind saw nothing and so nothing was created. Now, through thought, thinking in his mind of the vision, it started to happen.

  There were first created the Keepers of Creation, four powerful Spirit Beings, to help him in his task of fulfilling and creating the vision: the Spirits of the Rock, Fire, Wind, and Water. Into each he breathed life and Spirit, giving each different characteristics and powers. These four beings were: Muxumsa Lowanewank, our Grandfather in the North. He was placed there to control the power of rock. He gave forth solidity and physical form to the Creator’s thoughts, to his vision. North Grandfather gives us the wintertime, ice, snow, and cold; also, our bodies, the rocks, the trees, and all that we see around us.

  Muxumsa Wapanewank, our Grandfather of the East. He was placed there to control the power of the wind. He gave forth breath and mind to the Creator’s vision. He gives us springtime, the breath of life, birds and new beginnings, and brings forth the light, the winds, our minds, creativity, knowledge, music and songs.

  Huma Shawanewank, our Grandmother in the South. She was placed to control the power of fire. She gave forth Spirit, life and growth to the vi
sion of the Creator. She gives us the summer, warmth, growth and maturity, our inner fire and Spirit, and gives fire to the Sun.

  Maxumsa Wanchenewank, our Grandfather in the West. He was placed there to control the power of water. He brought watery and softening influence to the Creator’s vision. He gives us autumn, gives us death, and readies us for renewal, and gave us the waters, our life’s blood, healing, intuition, emotions, dreams and visions, and rain.

  These four Spirit beings, Keepers of the Creation, did help the Creator to make the stars, the sun, the moon and the Earth.

  Now the Creator instructed all of these Beings to come together on the Earth, to give of their powers together to create life. Nux Kishux, our Father Sun, gave heat and light, and Nipahuma, our Grandmother Moon, came down to Earth and gave of her powers of fertility and reproduction. Kukna, the Mother Earth, upon which all life was to be born, gave growth and healing. North Grandfather gave form to all life, East Grandfather gave the breath of life and Spirit, South Grandmother gave inner fire and Spirit, and West Grandfather gave of its water to life, life’s blood.

  First were made the plant beings of four kinds, grasses, flowering plants, trees, and crops. To each was given through Spirit, life, growth, healing, and beauty. Which was placed where it would be most useful, and give the greatest harmony and balance to all land and life.

  Then were made the animal beings. Each was given special powers and characteristics. There were those that crawled and walked upon the Earth, those that swam in the lakes, rivers, and streams upon the good Earth, and those that flew in the skies above.

  Now, Nipahuma, our Grandmother Moon, having been set in the night sky, her Spirit became lonely and so she asked the Creator for a companion. The Creator sent her a Spirit Grandfather Thunder, Muxumsa Pethakowe, to keep her company. With him she conceived, and when she came to lend her powers of fertility to the Earth to help in the creation of life, she gave birth upon the Earth to twins - one a man, and the other a woman. Thus it was humankind was the last of beings created. Though they were different, man and woman found a wholeness in union with each other. Only together were they complete and fulfilled, only together could they fulfill their purpose. The Creator gave man and woman a special gift, the power to dream. Nipahuma, our Mother who goes by night, the first mother, the mother of all mothers, nurtured her children, and when her purpose was complete she returned to the spirit world; but before she left she told first man and woman that she would never forget them. She continues to watch over us at night as the Moon. The children promised to remember Grandmother Moon whenever she appeared in the sky, giving her light to guide our paths.