Wild Wastes Omnibus

by Randi Darren

  “What is this?” she said, turning it over in her hands.

  “It says… pancake mix,” Vince said. “Huh.”

  ***

  “We never finished our conversation,” Ramona said from her side of the fire.

  “Which conversation was that?” Vince asked.

  He was still inspecting the bag that had been sent over. The craftsmanship and material were so strange to him. It was perfect, yet seemed flimsy at the same time.

  He had the vague impression that this was cheaply mass produced. A simple-blade-to-a-blacksmith sort of thing.

  “Taking wives,” Ramona said simply.

  That got Vince’s attention.

  Looking around, he couldn’t see Red, nor could he feel her.

  “She’s hunting. I asked if she wouldn’t mind not returning until tomorrow morning.

  “She agreed, if I promised to help her get one of her meals tomorrow, so…” Ramona said, as if it were nothing at all.

  “I see.” Vince set the bag down, turning his full attention to the Dragonnewt. “And what did you wish to discuss further?”

  “You. Not taking wives. Us. Me,” Ramona said, her voice slowly sounding more confused with every word.

  “Let’s start with the top then. Not taking wives,” Vince said.

  Thinking on the subject, he wanted to answer her honestly. Then again, he could barely be honest with himself about it.

  “I’m afraid,” Vince said after a time. “I’m afraid that if I do exactly what Fes wants, I’ll have so many wives that I won’t see the same woman in the same month.

  “It’s already bad enough with the Dryads. Some I see once or twice in the span of months. Some even less.

  “And… I don’t like that. I don’t like it at all. The idea of taking enough wives to have the same problem… upsets me.”

  “Oh. That makes sense. I could definitely see that being… yeah. I get it,” Ramona said, frowning. “And you told Fes this?”

  Vince smiled at the memory and shrugged his shoulders.

  “She took it in typical Fes fashion. ‘Double up on some nights. You’ll see more of them that way.’”

  “Yeah. I could see her saying that. Then again, she’s not human. Nor am I. It’s a solution that could work for a number of us.

  “I personally want to tear your head off and eat your heart. Or be mounted by you without a fight.

  “They share an equal importance to me,” Ramona said, her tail swishing about behind her violently. “Just the very thought of your life’s blood rushing down my throat excites me.”

  “Why is that?” Vince asked suddenly. “Do all Dragonnewts want to kill men?”

  “Ah… no,” Ramona said, sobering quickly. “Not exactly.”

  “What exactly, then? I don’t understand it really. You’re the first and only Dragonnewt I’ve met.”

  “We only want to kill and eat potential mates,” Ramona said, as straightforward as a punch to the face. “We mate with only one after the battle has been decided and both accept, or someone dies.”

  “Ah,” Vince said lamely. “And you chose me?”

  “No. My Dragon did. It chose you the moment you put me on the ground and nearly choked me out as if I were nothing to you.

  “My Dragon wants to take everything from you and leave you as a husk, unless you can tame her.”

  Vince was mildly shocked at that, and yet he wasn’t either. There were a multitude of Wasters with similar behaviors.

  It simply came down to keeping the species alive. Survival of the fittest.

  “Got it. And you’ve been keeping this to yourself because I didn’t want any more wives,” Vince said.

  Ramona nodded her head, her silver hair shifting around her horns.

  “It was obvious when you refused Felicity that you meant it.

  “Even Leila won’t put herself in a position where you can tell her no. She’d rather be your friend and pine for you than risk being turned away.”

  Vince could only nod his head. He was well aware of Leila and what she wanted.

  “And that brings us back to now,” Ramona said, leaning forward over her knees.

  Her wings spread out behind her for a moment, then settled back down quickly.

  She’s very nervous.

  “Let me turn this around. What do you want, Ramona? If you had to name it, what do you want?” Vince asked.

  Her hands clenched into one another suddenly, then opened. Her arms went limp and hung at her sides.

  “My Dragon wants to fight you, and mate. Me… I want to make love to you and call you husband.

  “I hate this. I feel like I’m at war with myself,” Ramona said.

  Do I want her as a wife, though? She’s followed me for a while now… We’ve gone through some ugly things together.

  Fes would tell me to do it. Already has, in fact.

  “How about… you come over here, and we share my bedroll tonight. In the morning, we’ll talk more about this and see where we go with it.

  “To answer your question though, I think I can handle another wife.”

  Ramona lifted her head, peering at him.

  “Are you sure?” she asked.

  “Yeah. I am. Though if possible, could you tell your Dragon to knock it off for once? I’d like to enjoy your charms without having to practically knock you out for them.”

  Ramona grinned at him. “I can do that.”

  Before he could respond, she had pumped her wings, closed the distance over the fire, and slammed into him.

  Her face was pressed to his, her lips hungrily kissing him as her fingers immediately set to work at his armor.

  Happy to not be in a life-or-death struggle for once with Ramona, Vince reached up and grabbed her horns.

  She froze up when he did so. It was one of the few places he could get a good grip on her that got her to stop.

  It’d taken a while for him to figure it out, but it worked every time.

  “Stop… lay down. Let me love you,” Vince said, twisting her head to one side.

  Ramona went with the motion, her head being pulled to one side, and lay down on her back on his bedroll.

  “Vince… I’m not—” Ramona said.

  Not saying a word, Vince laid a hand over her mouth, his other still holding tight to a horn.

  Waiting several seconds to make sure she got the point, Vince removed his hand from her mouth and horn, then started slowly undoing the hooks and latches to her leather armor.

  Getting them unfastened, he began to peel her armor off her, enjoying himself as he did so.

  Everything with Ramona was always violent. Rushed.

  Forced.

  Pushing the leather off her shoulders, he managed to bare her torso, her modest bust visible.

  Running his hands over her chest, he caressed her. Explored her.

  He let his fingers run the length of her ribs and sides, the curve of her breasts.

  Ramona was taking short, shallow breaths. Little hiccupping things that made her body quiver.

  Moving ever lower, his hands reached the hem of her trousers and then hooked into them.

  With a careful pull, he began to worry the fabric down from her hips.

  The whisper of it traveling down her skin and scales was audible.

  Getting her pants down to her ankles, he stopped, leaving them there.

  Reaching up, he spread her knees apart, his fingers lightly trailing along her inner thighs.

  Moaning, Ramona’s tail curled up on itself into a coil at her side.

  She doesn’t know what to do with herself.

  Using his left hand, Vince unbuckled his belt and kicked his pants and boots off.

  His right hand kept to Ramona. Gliding over her skin and scales, his fingertips kept inexorably coming closer to her privates with every pass.

  They always came back away from her, rather than dive in. He’d never had the chance to truly explore and tease her. To simply enjoy being with her.


  It had really always turned into a fight to the death that involved sexing her into submission.

  Using just a fingertip, Vince stroked her slickened entrance.

  “Eeeeeeen… don’t tease me,” Ramona said, her hands clenching into his bedroll.

  Smiling, Vince couldn’t help himself. It was all very much unlike Ramona.

  His Dragonnewt warrior who routinely killed for the sake of killing.

  “What if I want to tease you?” Vince said, lowering his head down into her thighs.

  “Vince, Vince, no, please, no—Auhhh.” Ramona’s thighs closed on his shoulders as his tongue worked slowly along her slit.

  Her flesh was a mix of skin and scales all over. One couldn’t actually determine what was what without getting close.

  Even down here, it was the same.

  His tongue slid in between her lips, then up to the hood of her clit.

  Human flesh.

  “Auuuuhnnn, Vince… please no,” Ramona begged, her hands coming to rest on his head and shoulders.

  Encouraged, Vince wormed his tongue over the hood. Working the tip into the fold itself.

  “Haaaa, please, please, Vince. Hnnnnn.”

  Chuckling to himself, Vince eased himself up from Ramona’s thighs.

  Crawling up her body, he placed his forearms against her sides. Leaning his head down to kiss her lightly, he pressed his knees to her hips.

  Ramona’s hands came up and pressed into his back, her tail instantly springing free and wrapping around his waist.

  She moaned against his mouth, pulling him closer to herself, deepening the kiss immediately.

  Shifting himself around, he managed to get his tip set to her entrance.

  Having noticed it herself, Ramona moaned deeply, her hands pressing harder to his back.

  Vince eased himself forward, entering her, his girth spreading out the walls of her channel.

  Ramona pulled her head back from his, turning her head to one side and panting heavily.

  Settling up to the hilt, Vince paused and reoriented himself. He got under her hips a bit more and his arms moved to get better leverage over her.

  Dipping his head down, he nuzzled the side of her face and kissed her cheekbone, right atop a pronounced line of blue scales.

  Ramona melted underneath him. Her knees fell to each side, giving him a wide and easy entry.

  Pulling himself back, Vince began to slowly rock to and fro atop her. Running his length through her wet insides.

  Making soft chirruping whines beneath him each time he entered her, Ramona seemed lost in her pleasure.

  The change was night and day from her normal behavior. So much so that Vince couldn’t deny he was rather excited to be able to simply make love to her.

  Leaning into her, he nudged her chin to the side, then kissed her roughly when she turned her head with the motion towards him.

  Moaning into his mouth again, Ramona ground her hips into him each time he pushed into her.

  Her body began to quiver when his speed and strength picked up, driving himself deep into her as he felt his climax coming on.

  Then he was there.

  Pushing at her roughly, as if to split her in half with his shaft, he worked to put his seed as deep in her as possible.

  Ramona lifted herself up a bit, her hips welcoming him as her fingers clung to his shoulders.

  Her moans were loud against his mouth, desperate almost.

  Thrusting into her as his aching shaft emptied out, he practically crushed her into his bedroll.

  Several more pulses while holding her tightly, and he was spent.

  Sighing through his nose, Vince finally broke the kiss and rested his forehead to hers. Her horns tangled in his hair.

  “Nnnn… Vince. That was so nice. So much better than when you beat me and take me,” Ramona said, her tail tightening around his hips. “Like that from now on. If my Dragon takes control, just knock me out and make love to me after I wake up.”

  Vince chuckled at that, then reached up to take hold of one of her horns.

  He tilted her head to one side, making her take in deep breath. Then he casually kissed her neck, and bit it hard enough to cause a mark.

  Letting go of her bruised flesh, he gave her horn a little tug.

  “I dunno, maybe I enjoy dominating your Dragon, too. After all, you’re both a woman and a Dragon, aren’t you?” he said, tugging her horn again.

  “I love you,” Ramona said suddenly.

  Vince wasn’t sure how to respond to that. It was unexpected.

  Especially for Ramona.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t know what to say or do. My Dragon is being very… strange… right now.”

  “I’d say the simplest answer right now is the best, then. We go to sleep, and we’ll see where we go in the morning with it,” Vince said, kissing her cheek.

  “Oh, and when you get Red’s meal tomorrow, I’m going to hold on to your horns the entire time.”

  ***

  Ramona had mostly returned to her normal blunt, acidic, and combative personality by the morning.

  Though there were times he could tell a difference in her.

  She was noticeably tender to him. Even going so far as to nuzzle him on occasion.

  Lingering in the position as her lips nibbled at him in random spots.

  He’d have to ask Fes about it, but from what he could tell from his own analysis… her Dragon seemed suitably tamed by him, so combat wasn’t the first go to anymore.

  “Red isn’t happy,” said Red, catching Vince in the middle of his thoughts.

  Ramona was out scouting their path back to the hosted talks. It was time for them to head back and hear what the two parties wanted to do.

  “And what aren’t you happy about?” Vince asked, looking at her.

  “Red… Red wants things Red can’t have. To break Red’s curse,” she said, glaring at him.

  “Alright. Can I help in any way?”

  “No. Leila is working on it. Has been working on it. She told Red she’s close to being able to loosen it.

  “When Red’s curse is broken, Red will take what Red wants.”

  “And what is it that Red wants?”

  “What Ramona got last night,” Red said defiantly. She rose up to her full height, trying to act like a predator confronting another.

  “You will not resist Red the same way you did Felicity. You will accept Red,” she demanded.

  Vince watched the “feral” Beastkin for a moment before nodding his head.

  “Alright, Red. You break your curse, and I’ll do that. You just tell me when and where, alright?”

  Red’s face took on a shocked look, then a confused one.

  She sank down to a crouching position, her claws roughing up the grass.

  “Red doesn’t understand. Red didn’t think you would just accept it,” she said, glancing up at him while clawing the ground.

  “Ramona and I had a good talk. I think I have a better idea of what I want out of everything. I just need to have a talk with Fes later.

  “Otherwise, yeah, I understand, Red. Now how about you come over here, and I’ll give you a good scritch-scratch and ear rub?”

  Red bounced over to him immediately, smashing her hip into his side and rubbing her cheek against his stomach.

  “Give Red attention. Red deserves it.”

  Chapter 3

  Vince sighed and sat down at the table.

  “Don’t be so upset,” Mouth said, patting his thigh as she sat down next to him. “I imagine this’ll be over and we can head home after today.”

  “Think so?” Vince asked, looking to the Dryad.

  “I do. Personally, I think this whole thing was a farce propped up by the command of the emperor. Or one of his lackeys.

  “So far, he hasn’t intervened despite the length of the war. The moment he does decide to get involved, it won’t end well for anyone.

  “As long as they abide by his dec
ree, they can continue to struggle with one another.”

  Vince thought on that and slowly nodded his head.

  “You’re probably right. But is it rea—”

  The door opened and both diplomats walked into the room, one after the other.

  “Good morning, Lord Vince. We appreciate your return, and apologize for… for our behavior,” said one of them.

  “Yes, we sincerely apologize,” said the other.

  “Uh huh. I’m here because I promised the emperor I would be. Unless you have any new ground to cover, I’m going to leave and head home.

  “My letter to the emperor will be very simple. You both failed to achieve anything and seemed more interested in verbally sparring than getting anything done,” Vince said in a scathing tone.

  Both men looked at each other, then back to Vince.

  “Unless you have something new to discuss?” Vince asked, forcing the discussion to what he believed was the inevitable end.

  “That is…”

  “We don’t—”

  “Great, then I bid you goodbye. I’ll send my letter to the emperor, and I’ll be on my way,” Vince said, standing up even before the other men had a chance to sit down.

  Not waiting, Vince left immediately.

  He placed his fingers in his mouth and whistled sharply twice.

  His honor guard of Ogres snapped to attention. Their Orc counterparts and “light” version of their troop type set about breaking down the camp rapidly.

  “Vince,” Mouth hissed at him, catching up. “Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

  “I met every agreement I made to the emperor. I promised him I’d do my best, but that when my patience ran out, I’d be done. He accepted that,” Vince said. “Beyond this point, I’d be more likely to believe they’re stalling for the sake of it.”

  Mouth bobbed her head back and forth as she thought on that.

  Then her eyes snapped to Ramona and locked on her.

  The Dragonnewt was waiting around, doing nothing. Vince’s pack and belongings clutched against her chest.

  “Oooh?” Mouth said curiously.

  Shit. She’s about as empathic as a Dryad could be.

  “Huh. Well, I’m glad that worked out. Will you be taking in Leila and Red soon?