Wild Wastes Omnibus

by Randi Darren

  “And should I send a letter to Felicity?” Mouth asked, seemingly jumping on one tiny thing and running away with it.

  “Now, I don’t think—”

  “Goodness. I can’t tell from here, but I think she’s going to need to nest soon.

  “It’s rather potent,” Mouth said, waving a hand back and forth in front of her nose.

  “What is?”

  “The scent coming off her. It’s similar to what some Wasters put out when they’re getting ready to give birth.

  “I knew your seed was potent, Vince, but a Dragonnewt?

  “Congratulations, by the way.”

  Vince sighed and pressed a hand to his brow.

  That’s all I need. More children. More and more children.

  I’ve more children myself than the rest of Yosemite, I swear.

  Before Vince realized it, Mouth had gone straight to Ramona and patted her on the shoulder.

  Ramona’s face went a deep, dark red color, her head dipping down closer to Mouth.

  They were talking in such a low voice he couldn’t make anything out.

  But he already knew what it was.

  Child planning. And which Dryad would be assigned to take care of Ramona.

  It was the same every time one of his wives got pregnant.

  The Dryads were masterful midwives and nannies.

  Berest, Keith, Vince the Second, and Mila were all about five years old now. Most of them were running around on their own, away from their mothers view.

  A number of Dryads had taken on the roles of nurse maids and second mothers to the kids. Following them around at a distance or close, depending on the need.

  And then there’s all the Dryad children.

  Vince shook his head rather than think about it.

  Turning to the Ogre lieutenant who worked for Kitch, Vince nodded at the big guy.

  “I want to be gone as soon as possible. Did you contact our rides?”

  “Yes sir,” the Ogre said grimly, then smiled at Vince. “Sent Sam to notify Kitch as well. She’ll want to know.”

  “Smart man,” Vince said.

  “Happy Kitch, happy Snorg,” said Snorg, Kitch’s husband.

  Vince could only smile and shake his head.

  “You two are too damn sweet on one another. Thanks, Snorg.”

  Vince didn’t have much to do except wait.

  Then Red appeared, holding Ramona by the arm.

  “Red wants her meal before we leave.”

  Ramona looked at Vince, then down at her feet.

  Well, that’s one way to pass the time.

  ***

  The Gryphons banked hard and came in low to the designated landing field for the heavy cavalry.

  The number of ridable mounts was increasing with every hatching, but still nowhere near enough to outfit the entire group.

  It was more than enough for Vince and his inner circle to travel safely to distant locations, though.

  No sooner had the Gryphon stopped and waddled over than Vince saw a number of people waiting for him to one side.

  “Looks like I won’t be seeing you tonight,” Mouth said, pressing herself up against his back.

  “More than likely not,” Vince said with a chuckle.

  “I’ll speak to the grove mother about Ramona later. No need to trouble yourself,” Mouth said.

  Vince nodded his head and then pulled on the reins to his personal Gryphon.

  It was a midget compared to the others of its kind. But it fit Vince’s need perfectly.

  It pulled up short and stopped in the grass with just the barest of bumps.

  Dismounting there, Vince turned and held his hand out to Mouth.

  Taking the hand, she got down and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

  “Thank you, dear. Now go say hi to everyone. They haven’t seen you in quite a while,” she said. “Not everyone is as fortunate as I am.”

  Vince didn’t argue, turning to walk towards where everyone was waiting for him.

  He immediately spotted Fes at the front.

  In his mind’s eye, she’d always be the wild, green-skinned, dark-haired and dark-eyed warrior from his memory.

  She’d changed little in the years since he’d met her, though it was obvious to him she was aging.

  Life in the Wastes was hard, and it had a tendency to shorten lives.

  Standing in front of her, Berest, his daughter, looked like a lighter-skinned version of her mother.

  And immediately to Fes’s left was Yaris.

  The queen of Yosemite, his wife, whom he had only begun to understand two years ago.

  Built very much like a High Elf, Yaris had dark-blond hair with red streaks and bright blue eyes.

  She held their son, Falaein the Second, at her side.

  Vince had felt odd naming the boy for his father-in-law, but had simply gone with it. It was easier to appease his queen than fight with her over something that wouldn’t harm their son.

  Petra the ant soldier stood nearby. She hadn’t donned her armor in a while and had let her hair grow out. The bright blond hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and her crystal-blue eyes watched him like a hawk.

  Vince the Second, his son with Petra, was sitting next to Keith and Mila, his children with Meliae.

  The busty Dryad was, as ever, pregnant with what looked like twins again. She stood beside Petra, who had a protective arm around the smaller woman.

  She’d also grown her pale-white hair out, her eyes the normal Dryad green and always inviting him to do terrible things to her.

  I wonder where Thera, Eva, Elysia, Daphne, Karya, Blue, Green, and the younger children are.

  Those were the rest of his wives, and they typically all remained together. It was a bit strange to not see the others.

  “The Fes greets her husband,” Berenga said, stepping up to Vince and hugging him tightly.

  Fes and Yaris had fought for a full year on almost every single thing, before something had been resolved between them.

  No one would tell Vince what it was, but he was glad for peace it had brought.

  Though in situations like this, he could feel the tension between the two of them grow for a time.

  Giving Fes a kiss, he hugged her tightly.

  Berest plastered herself to his leg.

  “Missed you, Dada,” said the Orc girl.

  “Missed you too, sprout,” Vince said, hugging her.

  Berest hugged him back and then stepped away.

  Fes gave him a shove toward Yaris as soon as their daughter had moved.

  After bowing her head to him, Yaris gave him a bright smile.

  “My king, I greet you gladly,” she said, then wrapped one arm around him and hugged him, pressing her head in close and giving him a quick kiss.

  “Dada,” Falaein the Second said, wrapping his arms around Vince’s neck.

  “Hey buddy.”

  “Dada hold.”

  “Ok, Dada will hold you. But I have to say hi to everyone, ok?”

  “No, Dada hold.”

  Everyone chuckled at that, and before he could do anything, all the kids piled on him, hugging him from every angle.

  Then one of them broke into sobbing tears, and the rest followed.

  Getting down on his knees, Vince pulled his kids into his arms and held on to them.

  “Sorry. Dada was working, but he’s home now.”

  Meliae and Petra watched with smiles.

  “The rest of the kids are all at home with the other half of your harem,” Meliae said, her voice playful as always. “You terrible, terrible brute of a man, you. Giving so many of us children and fleeing all the time.”

  Vince grimaced at that but couldn’t argue with it. He hoped that soon he could settle things down and let others do the work.

  Lately, he was missing being a simple Ranger more than ever.

  Take a mission here, stay at home for a while. See the kids. Take another mission a year later, maybe some courier work.

>   Nothing big. Nothing hard.

  “This one greets her master and husband happily,” Petra said, smiling at him.

  “Hello dear,” Vince said, looking at the ant soldier.

  Settling in on the grass right there, he decided he wasn’t going to leave this spot till his children had stopped crying their eyes out.

  ***

  “No. No, I’m not,” Vince said firmly, looking at Elysia, Thera, and Eva in turn.

  The three Elven women stared back at him as if he were the stupidest man in the world.

  They were all elves, yet they ranged the entire spectrum as far as features went. From the High-Elven, blond, blue-eyed Elysia to the dark-eyed and dark-haired Thera, and finally the brown-haired, brown-eyed Eva.

  The very picture of elves.

  Pregnant elves, though. Each one was pregnant with her second child with Vince.

  “Yes, you are, my liege,” Elysia said. “You need to do this, whether you want to or not. Duke Heint has requested your help personally. I agree with him,” Elysia said.

  Yaris, Meliae, Fes, and Petra sat on his side of the table, but were all nodding.

  “I haven’t been home more than a day, and you want me to head south,” Vince said. He’d used to dream of traveling constantly, and now he just wanted to sit in his home and play father.

  “Yes, Master,” Eva said, reaching across the table and touching his hands. “We do. And we understand. We want you home, too. But… this is for Yosemite. For our children.”

  Vince sighed and hung his head.

  “My lord, it really is for the best,” Thera said. “Blue and Green already went south with Karya and Daphne. They’re doing what they can, but they need you.”

  “Ok…” Vince said finally. “Ok. I just… I want to step down as the head of Yosemite. Or delegate out more of these responsibilities. I want to be home. I want to see our kids grow up, and not be traveling all the time.”

  “I know, Sweetling,” Meliae said, snuggling up to his side. “We really do feel the same and we’re working on it.”

  “Tell me what’s going on, then. Give me the full rundown,” Vince said.

  “Of course. First, we’ve heard from the north and east in the Wastes. More villages, towns, and cities are pledging allegiance to Yosemite.

  “It’s likely you’ll need to raise another duke or duchess for the Minnesota and Texas areas,” Elysia said, flipping open her ledger.

  “Alright… do we have any candidates?”

  “Not really. Though the area in Minnesota is much colder and has a rather good-sized population of Dwarves,” Meliae added.

  “Ok, what about Desk—”

  “He said no, in advance,” Fes said, interrupting him. “He wants to remain the head blacksmith, that’s it.”

  “Would we consider someone from Verix?” Yaris asked.

  Fes nodded her head once sharply.

  “Yes, that’s a good idea. There’s also a very large contingent of Snow Elves deeper in Canada,” Elysia said slowly. “Though, do you have any family members we could entrust it to?”

  Yaris sighed, touching her lip with a fingertip.

  “I have a number of cousins, but let me think on it,” she said, then turned to Vince. “Would you be alright with it, my king?”

  Vince nodded his head. He felt the same way Fes did.

  Yaris had proved herself to be one of his wives, even if she and Fes didn’t see eye to eye all the time.

  “Think on who you’d think would work, and get back to Elysia,” Vince said.

  “Of course, my king. Thank you. But… what do you think, sisters?” Yaris said, looking to the other women. “You’re also the wives of Vince. Is there anyone in your families who would fit?”

  Everyone seemed deep in thought.

  “Send my cousin to Texas,” Fes suddenly said. “It has a good-sized Orc population. We can use it as a recruiting pool and to hold the boundary with the Tri-lliance.”

  Yaris tapped the table rapidly.

  “Yes, yes, send him. That’ll work perfectly,” she said, smiling at Fes, who smiled back at her.

  Such a strange friendship there.

  “Now… the reason we need to send you to the south, though, my liege,” Elysia said, jotting down a note in her ledger. “We believe the Tri-lliance is pushing in deeper and deeper raids.

  “We keep getting reports of Lizardman packs moving around past our borders.”

  “Are they substantiated… or is this like those reports we were getting from the northern villages about a pack of Yetis eating their livestock?” Vince asked.

  “Substantiated,” Thera said, then shook her head. “In a sad way, I’m afraid. We came across a traveling caravan that was on their way from the empire to Yosemite from the far south.

  “They had been ambushed, my lord. One of our own patrols found them. A survivor said it was a pack of Lizardmen that attacked them, despite waving the Yosemite banner.”

  That drove a spike of anger through Vince’s head.

  The banner of Yosemite was respected across the west coast to the east coast as a neutral flag.

  It didn’t matter where they went—they were welcomed and desired to visit.

  Selling Dwarven merchandise and other items, Yosemite was a guest everywhere.

  “On top of that, Master,” Eva quickly added. “They didn’t take anything. They just killed everyone and fled.”

  Vince raised his eyebrows at that. Not taking anything really just made it obvious.

  To the point of stupidity.

  But then again, the Lizardmen are shock troops at best. They’re not out there to think through strategy or tactics.

  “Blue and Green are heading to the south and east. Daphne and Karya to the southwest. Kitch went with them,” Fes said. “I’m going to join them.”

  “Oh?” Vince asked. Berenga didn’t often leave the city anymore. Her role as the spiritual leader, Fes, was quite well known and many sought her out for advice.

  “Yes, husband. I wish to go out one more time before I retire my blade. My arms grow weaker by the year, and I fear I’ll not be able to hold my title by combat soon,” Fes said, giving him a wide, tusk-showing grin. “Soon I’ll only be Berenga, wife to Vince. And I’ll be happy.”

  “This one will join Blue and Green,” Petra said. “This one is… aging… quickly. The life of a soldier ant is not long.”

  Looking at Petra closely, Vince couldn’t deny she did look as if she’d aged ten years in two. She had been a young woman when they’d met, and now she was much closer to looking forty in human years.

  “Do not fret for this one,” Petra said, smiling at him. “This one has led a very good life, and has provided two children for her husband. It is more than any soldier ant could ask for.”

  Vince frowned at that. He didn’t like all this talk about aging and dying and stepping down.

  “We spoke of this, husband,” Fes said, touching his forearm. “My second and I are mortal. We’ll pass from this world while you remain young. It’s why I push for so many talented women who will be able to live with you for all time.”

  Vince didn’t say anything, but he laid his left hand atop Fes’s.

  In truth, he hated this kind of talk, but he couldn’t deny it either.

  He hadn’t aged a day since he’d become the grove for the Dryads.

  With so many trees now inside him, it was unlikely he’d ever die of old age.

  And yet I cannot even begin to fathom a life without those two.

  Chapter 4

  Vince peered down over the side of his Gryphon.

  It was an entire army down there.

  From one side of the plain to the other, it was filled with soldiers of the Tri-lliance.

  Banners that represented what Vince assumed were cities and locations dotted the groups as they milled around.

  They were all well on their side of the border that had developed between Yosemite and the Tri-lliance, but to Vince, this was
clearly a precursor to an invasion.

  His patrols and scouts had somehow been turned away from here.

  Not to mention the entire army looked rather lazy and not very disciplined right now.

  “I sense a great deal of magic being used to shield this place, husband,” Mouth said, her arms locked tight around his waist.

  “I was wondering if that was the case. There’s no way our Ratkin would have missed something like this.

  “The stink of the latrines alone would have drawn them in,” Vince said.

  “Yes. You’re probably right,” Ramona said loudly. She was flying along beside them.

  To be able to hear each other at all took a great deal of closeness and volume.

  Red hung from Vince’s harness below Ramona. She looked none too happy, as if she were going to murder everyone when they landed.

  “Red despises this,” she shouted over the wind. She angrily gripped Ramona’s tail—out of anger or fear for her life, Vince wasn’t sure. “Red wants to land!”

  “Soon, Red. We needed to do this. Nothing was adding up. This, though—this makes sense now. They’re preparing to invade us.

  “And that looks like a whole lot of magic,” Vince said, pointing down to an entirely separate camp off to one side.

  Even from this distance, Vince could practically feel the magic radiating out of there.

  “That’s where we’ll send the Ratkin to wreak havoc,” he said, eying the place.

  The Ratkin had proved to be excellent infiltrators and saboteurs.

  Of all the races in Yosemite, the Ratkin had been elevated to a near-universally adored status.

  They were scouts, garbage men, soldiers, janitors, saboteurs, and all loyal to Vince.

  To the death. Beyond all else, even.

  What Vince found the most intriguing part of them, though, was that after their population had stabilized, they’d immediately fallen into smaller family units. Much like all the other species.

  Many buildings of Yosemite had entire neighborhoods of Ratkin added to the rooftops.

  Most seemed to consider themselves fortunate if they could convince a population of Ratkin to take up that space.

  “Yes, that’d be a good weak point to hit,” Ramona shouted back. “The more of them you can kill, the better.

  “They have many more mages than we do.”