Wild Wastes Omnibus

by Randi Darren

  Vince nodded his head glumly.

  His Elven population had increased greatly, but they bred slowly when not forced to do so.

  The fact that Elysia, Eva, and Thera had all produced two children each for him so quickly was apparently a touch mythical to the Elves.

  It wasn’t that Elves didn’t want progeny; it just wasn’t their natural inclination to breed as prolifically as humans.

  “Let’s see if that Snow Elf tribe is willing to send us a contingent of mages.

  “We’ll also need to put the word out that we’re hiring mercenaries again,” Vince said.

  “Yes, dear. Should we reach out to that big population of Orcs and offer them increased bonuses for recruitment?” Mouth asked.

  “Not a bad idea. When we get to the outpost, find whoever Elysia sent over and get them on that,” Vince said, agreeing with her. “Let’s also get word to Duke Gerard that it’s time for him to flex his muscles.”

  Pulling on the reins for the Gryphon, Vince banked it to the side and they started back for the outpost.

  “Red is glad to go home. Red hates how cold it is up here,” said the Beastkin, snuggling up in her thick coat. “Red hates flying.”

  “I enjoy the excuse,” Mouth said, snuggling up firmly to Vince’s back and pressing herself to him.

  Red didn’t reply.

  Nor did Ramona.

  ***

  As soon as Vince got Mouth down from the Gryphon, he immediately turned and set off for the outpost.

  There was a lot to do and little time to do it.

  His entire country was about to be the victim of a surprise invasion. If they could get more defenders into the line, it’d slow the enemy down a bit.

  He doubted they could stop them here, but if they could just hold them longer and take more of their troops, it’d help in the long run.

  A Wood Elf he didn’t know came hustling out of the building towards him.

  “My lord, my name i—”

  “No time,” Vince said, interrupting the beautiful Elf. “I’m sorry. We can make introductions later, but I need you now. Desperately.”

  The Wood Elf blushed furiously and opened her ledger slowly.

  “I live to serve you,” she said, raising her chin.

  “I need a message to be sent to general Petra as fast as possible. Take this as the message: Tri-lliance invasion imminent. Ready the army, send it south. Full engagement, magical focus. Share this.

  “Got that?”

  The Wood Elf nodded her head quickly, her eyes wide and terrified.

  “Next,” Vince said, going into the main building. “A letter to Elysia. The following message: Contact Snow Elves. Need magical combat forces. Broker whatever deal needs to be done. Share this.”

  “I… I got it. What else?” said the very young Wood Elf.

  Looking at her now, Vince felt she looked oddly familiar, but only a hair over eighteen.

  “The next one goes to Duke Gerard: Duke Gerard. The time has come to showcase your grand army in the defense of Yosemite. I need your assistance against the Tri-lliance in the south. Please move with utmost haste to assist,” Vince said, sitting down in a chair.

  “Understood. Next?” asked the Elf.

  Leila stepped into the building, her large eyes immediately locking on to him.

  “I hear there’s a magic problem,” she said. It wasn’t even a question.

  Vince stared at her for a second, admiring her.

  As if realizing he was staring, Leila turned a deep, dark red, but she didn’t look away.

  Leaning forward slowly, Vince smiled at her.

  “Come here,” he said softly, crooking a finger at her.

  Leila was one of the few women around him who didn’t prod, poke, or henpeck him.

  Well, Ramona doesn’t anymore. She’s more like a puppy lately.

  “Vince?” Leila asked, her approach slowing.

  She came to a dead stop just outside of arms’ reach.

  “I want to talk later. About Red. About you.

  “Alright? Set some time aside specifically for that. Alone,” Vince said.

  “O-o-ok. I can do that. Was there… anything in particular you wanted to talk about?” she asked.

  “You. And those lovely eyes of yours. Other than that, consider it a surprise,” Vince said, leaning back and turning his attention back to the Elf.

  Leila nodded. She moved to get seated in a chair next to Vince.

  Only to have him reach out and snatch her off her feet, then plunk her down in his lap.

  Before she could struggle, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and locked her into place.

  “Next. I need a letter to Duke Heint,” Vince said, as if he wasn’t holding a struggling Gnome in his lap.

  “V-Vince, stop,” Leila complained, her small hands fighting with his vice-like arm.

  “It needs to read: Duke Heint. Tri-lliance army in the south along the border. Moving to reinforce with all possible forces. Duke Gerard has been summoned.”

  Finishing what she was writing, the Wood Elf looked from Vince to Leila and back. “I have it recorded,” she said.

  “Vince. Let me go,” Leila said, leaning her head down and moving to bite his forearm.

  “Better not, or I’ll put my other hand up your robe and we’ll find out if you’re more than a handful,” Vince threatened, pressing his hand to her knee.

  Leila froze, her teeth pressed to his skin. As she released him, he could feel the wetness her saliva left behind.

  Lifting her head up, Leila slowly sank into Vince’s lap, her hands resting on his knees.

  “Is that everything?” the Wood Elf asked. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes looking everywhere but at him.

  “Send a note to the Duchess of Wooden Heart, with a copy of every other missive. There isn’t much she can do, but it’s good to keep her informed.

  “Can you think of anything else I need to do?”

  “No. But if I do, I’ll take care of it,” said the Elf, nodding her head.

  “And your name is?”

  “Ah… my name is Brianne. I’m… Eva’s younger sister. You bought me… in the auction when I was just a child.”

  “I thought I recognized you,” Vince said, leaning back in his chair and holding Leila close. “Your family was the single luckiest thing I ever came across. Yours, Thera’s, and Elysia’s. Without the Elves, Yosemite wouldn’t be what it is.”

  Brianne smiled prettily and ducked her head.

  “We treasure the trust given to us as your custodians and family,” Brianne said, dipping her head further to him.

  “Well, it’s earned. Alright, go take care of that for me, Brianne. As quick as you can. Quick like a bunny.”

  Brianne snapped her ledger closed and scurried away, leaving him alone with Leila.

  “C-could you release me now?” Leila asked, the back of her head resting on his collarbone.

  “No. I like holding you. You’re a comforting weight. That and you’re so damn soft,” Vince said, prodding her hip with a fingertip.

  “S-stop. Stop it. You’re not supposed to do this. You’ve haven’t done things like this in years,” Leila hissed, her right hand grabbing his wrist.

  “You’re right, of course. But then I somehow turned Ramona into my wife, and Red demanded that I not turn her away when you fix her,” Vince said, resting the hand she was holding directly on her waist.

  “I’m working on it,” Leila said. “I think I have a fair idea of what the curse is. I should be able to lessen it, if not break it. Soon.

  “Her meals are… potent. They’ve already weakened the curse all on their own,” Leila said as Vince’s fingers began to move down her side to her hip.

  Leila’s hand slowly loosened on his wrist but didn’t move away.

  Leaning his head down, Vince kissed Leila’s pale throat lightly, causing her entire body to convulse.

  “Vince, this isn’t fair,” Leila said as her head turned away f
rom him. Her entire neck was now open to him.

  “What isn’t?” he said, dragging his teeth against her soft skin.

  “This. You know what I want. I’m not subtle.

  “I don’t want to be the next Felicity, though,” Leila said, her voice becoming breathy.

  “Felicity was different. I was never actually interested in her,” Vince said, closing his mouth on her neck and biting down. Not firm enough to mark her, but close.

  “Mmmmmnnngh, Vince… please… don’t do this to me,” Leila said, her hand clamping down on his wrist. “Don’t… don’t get my hopes up. You’re not one to tease and flirt like this. Except with me.

  “You enjoy playing with me.”

  Snorting at that, Vince released her neck and then kissed her jaw.

  “You’re right. I’m not one to normally flirt and tease, except when I decide on what I want.

  “And I want a Gnome Warlock,” Vince said. Then he relaxed his arm around her shoulder and released her.

  If she wanted to get up, she easily could.

  “Now, we do have work to do, but I wanted to at least make my intentions known to you,” Vince said.

  Leila let out a shuddering sigh, then pressed her back into his chest and wiggled around in his lap.

  Once she was better situated, she reached up and pulled his arm around her shoulders.

  “Fine. Treat me well, Vince of Yosemite, or I’ll curse your t-testicles so they fall off,” Leila muttered. “Now, I imagine you need me to work on whatever this magic problem is?”

  “I do, and of course I’ll treat you well, Leila,” Vince said, leaning in to lightly sniff at her hair and ear. “You know, before we get into this magical conversation, technically you’re still my lunch.

  “Do you think you’ll fit naked on a platter?”

  Leila’s breath caught for a second.

  “V-Vince…” she said, her voice strangled.

  “Just a thought. Now… about that magical veil they have.”

  ***

  Sam buzzed in low and landed on Vince’s shoulder with a soft pat.

  “Vince,” she said, wrapping an arm around his head.

  As large as she was, she looked like the biggest Fairy anyone had ever seen.

  She claimed she was a Fae and Vince had no way to prove or disprove that, but she did seem to slowly be getting bigger.

  Much unlike a Fairy.

  “Hello Sam,” Vince said, reaching up to lay his hand on her legs, holding her in place on his shoulder.

  Stable now, she let go of his head and brought a satchel specially made for her around, pulling out its contents.

  “Dispatch from Elysia. They got your messages,” Sam said, holding it out for him.

  “Give me the abbreviated version?”

  “They’re on their way. Fes didn’t get your message as she had already left. Petra got it, though.

  “She’s modifying her plans accordingly. All the Ratkin on scouting duty are charging their way here and should be the first to arrive.

  “Other than that, not much.”

  Vince nodded and tucked the missive into his clothes. He’d read it later.

  Sam made it a habit to read the messages she was carrying, if only to give him the more salient points.

  He’d been relying on her for a while now.

  “Good work, Sam,” Vince said, then started to dump his entire surplus of magic into her.

  Sam twitched and slumped to the side, her body draping over his head.

  Walking along the perimeter facing the south, Vince continued to fill her up.

  There wasn’t anything he could see from here. Though logically, he knew he probably should be able to see at least signs of the enemy army.

  It took twenty minutes, but his grove was slowly starting to close off his ability to push out mana.

  Closing up the outpouring, Vince continued to watch the south.

  Sam always ended up a little drunk after he filled her.

  Even after all these years, though, he wasn’t where he’d been power-wise with the original trees. But he was getting close.

  Too bad I’m drowning in Dryads now. Though the biggest problem is going to be coming in twenty years.

  When all those Dryads we sent over to Mila’s grove have their own children, and then those come to my grove.

  Shuddering at the very idea of having hundreds of Dryad wives, Vince finally turned back towards the outpost main building.

  “Damnit Vince,” Sam mumbled, pushing against his head to sit upright. “Warn me before you do that.”

  “Why? It’s fun to do it this way. You’re a funny drunk.”

  “I hate you,” Sam said, her voice slurring as she swayed around on his shoulder. “Hate you so much. You’re the reason I keep getting bigger, you know. Every time you fill me up like that.”

  “Oh? If I keep doing it, will you eventually get to be human size?” Vince asked, stepping into the building and closing the door behind him.

  “’Ventually,” Sam said, one of her arms resting atop his head as if she couldn’t sit upright. “Why… gonna make me big and wife me?”

  “Maybe. Could be fun. I don’t have a Fae wife yet. You could be the representative for all Fairy-type creatures.”

  Sam slumped against his head.

  “You’re a cad,” she said against his hair. “You have enough wives.”

  “I am indeed a cad. Hold still, going to sit down,” Vince said, holding tighter to her legs.

  Once he got down into the chair, he released her and pulled out the missive.

  Reading it over quickly, he made a copy and set it to one side.

  Brianne will want one of these for her notes. Can’t be a very good assistant if she isn’t aware of things.

  “Felicity won’t take you, you know,” Sam said suddenly.

  “Good. I don’t want her as a wife anyways. She can do better than me.

  “Besides, as a cad, I already have a Dark Elf,” Vince said.

  Sam giggled at that, patting his head roughly.

  Then she slid forward and fell off his shoulder, landing in his lap.

  Sprawling out, she rolled onto her back, her wings folding up around her.

  “Gonna nap now. You can have me whenever you want, but you have to wait till I’m bigger to bed me. You’ll break me otherwise,” Sam murmured, her eyes sliding closed.

  “Drunken fool,” Vince said with a grin. Leaning over to a nearby chair, he grabbed his coat that was hanging off it.

  Draping it and Sam over his lap, he went back to his paperwork.

  He needed to get his written orders together for now, until Petra could take over.

  I’m no general. Petra needs to take all this and get it put together.

  Though… this is probably a good time to figure out who would take her place, in case two fronts develop.

  Just like Fes having a second and Elysia having a second, Petra really needs one as well.

  The door opened and Vince looked up.

  Yaris walked through the doorway and closed it behind herself.

  Surprised and not quite sure what to say, Vince stared at her.

  “Hello, my king. I decided I would join you. Your other wives suggested it, and I felt they were correct,” Yaris said, pulling off her own coat. There was a slight uptick in her tone at “other wives” that Vince didn’t miss.

  “You really don’t need to say it like that,” Vince said, watching his queen shrug out of her coat.

  Yaris paused with one arm out and then nodded at him.

  “You’re right, husband. Much as you were right about calling them concubines.

  “I suppose… I suppose I’m just…” Yarris paused, looking around. The building was empty.

  She pulled her coat off the rest of the way, then draped it over a chair.

  “I suppose… I’m afraid. I don’t want to be just another wife to you. I want to be your queen,” she said with a fragile smile.

  Vince b
linked once, then smiled at her.

  “You are my queen. And there is only one. You don’t need to treat the others as enemies, though.

  “I thought you were over that.”

  “Yes dear,” Yaris said, looking down to the ground. She kicked at something, looking the part of a scolded child. “And yes, I am over it. I guess I was feeling petty.”

  “Cheer up, my queen,” Vince said with a grin. “We have eternity to figure it all out. Although it’s a political marriage, I do find myself falling ever more in love with you.”

  Yaris lifted her head, watching him.

  “Really?” she asked.

  “Quite so. Now, how about you come over here and fill me in on what’s going on at home, and I’ll give you the rundown here.”

  “That’d be… good. I also have a note from Petra,” Yaris said, reaching into a pocket. “She sent it after Sam had already left.”

  Yaris handed it over to him and took a seat.

  Flipping the note over, Vince cracked it open and read it.

  Petra wanted him to go on a deep strike into the enemy support camp.

  And do anything he could.

  Well. I’m good at wrecking things.

  Chapter 5

  Flitting through the evening shadows, Vince kept himself low to the ground.

  They were deep into Tri-lliance territory—well behind their entire army at this point—and had worked through the enemy’s defensive screens.

  Ramona had ruled out entry by air. If the enemy had a Dragon, they’d have to deal with it in the air. Which was something no one wanted.

  The border was far enough away that it had been safe to scout, but not directly over the enemy encampment itself.

  “Red smells the Dragons,” said the Beastkin at his side. “That way. Two of them.”

  Following Red’s pointed finger, he could see several tents that were larger than the others.

  Ramona and Leila were bunched up behind Vince and Red. The warlock looked particularly unsure.

  “Two?” Ramona asked.

  “Red smells two. Male and female,” Red said, nodding. “Hear them, too. Mating.”

  “Leila, you think if I charge you up, you could pull the souls out of two Dragons?” Vince asked.

  If he could drop two Dragons before the war even started, it’d be in his best interest to do so.