Pride and Porters

by Charlotte Greene

  Erin tried to restrict the story about Lydia to people within their family, but by the fourth day of Jen’s silent treatment, she finally called Lottie, desperate to hear a friendly voice.

  “Christ, Erin. I’m so sorry to hear it. And there’s no news yet?”

  “Nothing. My dad and Eddie split up a couple of days ago so they could cover more ground, but they haven’t found any sign of Lydia anywhere. Last I heard, they planned to stay in Southern California for a while longer, and then they might actually leave the state. Lydia and Geo could be headed back to Nevada after the robbery. But that was yesterday’s rumor, so I’m not sure.”

  “Crap. How’s Jen taking it?”

  Erin smiled. Lottie would remember how she reacted to their mother’s death. “About as you would expect.”

  “So you’re not talking to each other?”

  This time Erin laughed, the first time she’d done so in days. “How’d you know?”

  “Lucky guess. Want me to come over?”

  “Would you?”

  “Sure. I just have to stop by my place first.” She paused. “I’m at Will’s right now.”

  “Okay, Lottie. No problem. Just come over when you can.”

  A few days after Christmas, Lottie told her that she and Will had a long, painful heart-to-heart discussion about what had happened when Erin and Will were kids. Will had immediately confessed to what he’d done. Lottie explained that this had helped her decide to give him another chance. Had he dismissed it or pretended it hadn’t happened, she would have walked out on him forever. As an apology, Will had written Erin a letter, of all things, apologizing for his behavior when they were children. It was long and heartfelt, and seemed genuine, but Erin wasn’t quite sold on him yet. Lottie seemed content with him, maybe even happy, and Erin didn’t hate him anymore, but she didn’t see the appeal, either. He would have to prove himself worthy of Lottie somehow, and he hadn’t done that yet. Lottie was still awkward about bringing him up around Erin, despite the fact that they had essentially moved in together. Erin hoped they could both reach a place where it wasn’t like this, but they weren’t there yet.

  Erin paced around the living room as she waited. The brewery was between big projects right now, so she was home before midnight for once. Jen was still at work. She didn’t have any real reason to be there, which meant she was simply hiding out. This was, for the moment, however, convenient, as it gave her and Lottie a chance to catch up, and Erin could bitch about her sisters without Jen around to hear her.

  Strangely, two sets of headlights flashed across the darkened windows, and when Erin pulled the curtains aside, she was surprised to see that two cars had pulled into the driveway, almost simultaneously. The lights blinded her for a moment, and even after both cars turned them off, she didn’t recognize the car farther away until her father got out. She raced for the door and opened it, just as Lottie and her father were hugging hello. She ran over to them, and all three of them hugged again.

  “What are you doing here?” Erin asked him. “Did you find Lydia?”

  “Unfortunately, no. I’m just here for a day or two to take care of some business I can’t put off, and then I’m going to meet your aunt in Las Vegas. She went there yesterday with one of the private investigators we’re working with.”

  “Well, come in, both of you,” Erin said, motioning toward the door. “It’s freezing out here.”

  “I can’t stay long,” her father said, following her. “I’m beat, and I have to get up early in the morning so I can head back as soon as possible. I just wanted to see you and your sister before I went home.”

  All three of them were inside now, and the house seemed overly warm after the chilly night air. Erin couldn’t help but grimace at the mention of her sister, and her father caught the expression.

  “What’s the matter? Is Jen not here?”

  “No. She’s hiding at work. We’re not really talking right now.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “Did something happen between you two?”

  “No. She’s just being Jen. Blaming herself, blaming me, blaming everyone but Lydia.”

  Her father stopped removing his coat and fixed her with a stern stare. “Is that fair of you, Erin? Blaming Lydia?”

  “Who else am I supposed to blame, Dad? She got herself in this mess, as usual.”

  Again he shook his head. “I don’t know why Lydia did what she did, Erin, but I can promise you she’s not entirely to blame. I’ve seen the security video of the robbery, and one thing that’s completely obvious is that she was surprised when Geo pulled that gun.”

  Erin’s face heated with shame, but anger immediately replaced the emotion. “If that’s the case, why hasn’t she turned him in? Why keep running? She has to know it’ll only make things worse.”

  Her father sighed and shook his head. “I can’t answer that, Erin, but I have to give her the benefit of the doubt. She could have a lot of reasons. At the very least, I imagine she’s scared to death right now.”

  Lottie agreed. “She’s probably terrified.”

  Erin’s anger warred with her sympathy, but again, her anger won out, in part because the two of them seemed to be ganging up on her.

  “But again, how is that my fault? Or Jen’s fault, or yours?” Erin was almost shouting now.

  Her father grabbed her shoulders. “Erin—it’s not anyone’s fault. I agree with you. But blaming Lydia isn’t the solution, and staying angry with Jen won’t make things better. We need to help each other get through this.”

  Hot tears prickled Erin’s eyes, and she almost relented. Shame and terror were beginning to overcome her anger, and she didn’t want to let those feelings win. It was easier to be angry. She threw Lottie a searching look, hoping for someone to recognize and appreciate the justice of her reaction, but Lottie simply seemed sad, much like her father.

  Before she could say anything, the door behind them opened, and Jen strode in. She must have seen the cars outside, but she looked startled to find them all standing just inside the door.

  “What’s going on? Is it about Lydia? Is she okay?”

  Erin opened her mouth to fill her in but started sobbing. A moment later, Jen was hugging her, fiercely.

  “I’m so sorry, Jen,” Erin said.

  “Shhhhh. It’s okay. I haven’t exactly been the best sister in the world, either. I’m sorry, too.”

  When they pulled apart, Jen was smiling, tears spilling down her cheeks. They both turned to the others, and everyone hugged again. The remains of Erin’s anger disappeared, her sympathy and pity now warring with terror for her younger sister.

  “My God,” she said when they’d all pulled apart. “What’s going to happen to her?”

  Her father shook his head. “Nothing good. At best, we can hope she’ll get an accessory-after-the-fact charge. At worst, she’ll be tried for armed robbery. I’ve been calling all my lawyer friends to start looking for some representation for her in California. We can only hope now that she’ll turn herself in, and soon.”

  Everyone jumped at the sound of ringing from her father’s pocket. It was almost midnight now, so an unusual time for a call. He reached in and showed them the number phoning him—Aunt Eddie’s—before answering.

  “Yes, Eddie. What is it?”

  Whatever Eddie had said was obviously important since her father staggered a little. Jen immediately grabbed his elbow and steered him over to one of the chairs at their kitchen table. He sat down heavily and covered his eyes with his spare hand.

  “Thank God,” he said. When he removed his hand, Erin saw that he was crying. “She’s okay,” he finally told them.

  Erin and Jen immediately started talking, but he held up a hand to silence them, still listening to Eddie on the phone. He agreed with her a few times, shaking his head in clear disbelief. Finally, he said good-bye and hung up, still shaking his head.

  “I can’t believe it,” he said.

  “What happened?” Erin said, pulling ou
t the chair nearest him.

  He was clearly stunned. He looked at all three of them and smiled widely, and Erin felt as if a thousand-pound weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

  He had to swallow a few times and wipe his eyes before he could start talking. “Lydia turned herself in this morning. She also helped the police find Geo. According to your aunt, because she did this, she’s in a much better position to be charged with accessory-after-the-fact than be charged as a principal. We’ll just have to wait and see. She’ll have her first court hearing in Los Angeles next week. Your aunt is going to bail her out in the morning after the arraignment.”

  “I thought they were in Las Vegas,” Erin said.

  “They were, but they went back to Los Angeles together so she could turn herself in.”

  “How?” Jen asked.

  He shook his head. “I don’t know the details. Your aunt’s going to call in the morning once she has Lydia in a safe place. We owe Eddie a huge debt. I can’t even imagine how she did it.”

  Everyone stood or sat in stunned silence. Ten minutes ago, Erin had been half-convinced that her sister would stay on the run for as long as she could—maybe forever—and now it looked like she might have a chance of making it out of all this without ruining her life. It was a slim possibility, but however slim, it was still a chance. She started shaking all over, crying again. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this relieved.

  She and her father were on their feet again, and everyone was hugging and crying, but as the happy moment continued, Erin couldn’t help but feel like something—someone—was missing. It was a strange sensation, and certainly not a welcome one. She’d been suppressing the feeling for days: a kind of desperate yearning for someone not here. Jen took an old bottle of cheap sparkling wine from the fridge, opened it, and poured everyone a glass, but Erin was fighting something rising from within the deepest, darkest regions of her heart.

  For the last few days, ever since she’d left Aspen, she’d done everything she could not to think about her conversation with Darcy in the darkened music room of that beautiful house. Now, however, as everyone around her gushed with relief and jubilation, she couldn’t help but think about her. Maybe it was because Darcy had been there at the beginning of all of this mess with Lydia, but that wasn’t the whole truth.

  No. She simply wished Darcy was here with her, with them. Darcy would be just as happy as everyone here to think that Lydia was, if not yet saved, at least safe again. Erin had to stop herself from finding her phone and calling her. She should, at the very least, text Darcy the news, as she would no doubt be wondering what had happened to Lydia, but she should wait until tomorrow. It was late now, and Darcy would undoubtedly be surprised to get a message this late at night.

  She saw Jen watching her strangely, one eyebrow raised, and shrugged off the deep longing as best as she could. After all, it didn’t matter now, anyway. Darcy was in the past—for good this time. All that mattered was doing what she could in the present to help support her family. She lifted her glass for a toast and soon managed to suppress the feeling as they celebrated.

  Still, lying in bed later that night, Erin wondered what would have happened if she’d called Darcy. Where was she? What was she doing? Who was she with? Despite her exhaustion, she couldn’t fall asleep for a long time.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Erin stood behind the counter in the tasting room and watched Lydia wash tables. Lydia seemed distracted, going slowly through the motions and not doing a very good job. All the tables she’d already wiped down still looked a little dirty. Erin and Jen needed to have a frank conversation with her about her job performance soon, certainly before the expansion project began in earnest next month. If Lydia couldn’t get her act together, it might be better for her to find work somewhere else. Still, today wasn’t the day for that conversation. It could wait a while longer, until Lydia found her equilibrium again.

  The last three weeks had been a whirlwind. Erin and Jen had asked some of their brewing friends in the area to help cover their work in the days leading up to Lydia’s preliminary trial. They’d flown out to Los Angeles with her father and were soon reunited with their aunt and Lydia, who’d been bailed out the morning before they got there. Lydia, of course, had to stay in California, and the whole family rented a house as they waited. The arraignment had been fast, but the preliminary trial was delayed several times that week. Just when it seemed like it might be delayed again over the following weekend, Lydia and her lawyers were called in on Friday. It was an open court, so the whole family was allowed to attend.

  When the charges against Lydia were dismissed, everyone in the courtroom seemed to hold their breath in disbelief. It was a rare thing for a judge to dismiss charges at any time, let alone for armed robbery, accessory or not. Until that point, the family had been hoping for a quick turnaround between the preliminary and jury trial. No one had expected the charges to be dropped.

  After she was dismissed, Lydia stood there for a long time, clearly too stunned to react. The rest of the family started crying and hugging each other. Even after their dad and aunt led her out of the courthouse and onto the street, each of them holding an arm, Lydia still seemed confused, almost as if she couldn’t believe what was happening. Erin didn’t blame her—she hardly believed it herself.

  They’d been back in Loveland for a little over a week now. Lydia had been quiet all the way home and after they got her to their dad’s place. Jen and Erin had been over once or twice to check on her and their father, but nothing had really changed. She was still silent, unwilling to talk about what had happened. Jen had argued that this was natural—clearly she was upset by what had happened, but Erin was starting to lose patience. She wanted some answers—or at least some version of a story—but Lydia seemed to think she didn’t need to say or do anything now that she was out of jail. Further, as far as Erin knew, Lydia had never thanked their aunt for doing what she had to save her, and while she was quiet now, Lydia’s silence seemed sullen rather than apologetic, almost as if she was angry about how things turned out.

  Lydia had showed up at BSB a couple of days ago asking for shifts, and Jen had immediately put her into the schedule, thinking it would be good for her to have some structure to her life again. Erin had her reservations about having her here, and now, seeing her mope around the tasting room, Erin knew she’d been right. Lydia might be here in person, but clearly her mind was somewhere else. It didn’t matter now, when the tasting room was quiet, but it could turn into a problem when more customers arrived later in the evening.

  Erin set down the glass she’d been cleaning and walked around the corner of the bar. Lydia didn’t notice her approach until Erin touched her shoulder, and even then she hardly reacted beyond turning around. Her face was blank and still pale, her hair greasy and lank.

  Her lifelessness immediately quelled Erin’s impatience, and she made her voice as gentle as possible. “Do you want to go home early? We’re pretty dead in here, and it’s going to be crazy this weekend.”

  The following weekend was the Loveland Valentine’s Day Fire and Ice Festival. Valentine’s Day is a major holiday in the City of Loveland, and the downtown festival had developed into a significant party over the last few years. There would be fireworks, ice sculptures, food vendors, and a huge number of people, many of whom would be ducking into BSB and other breweries and restaurants downtown to warm up. BSB was a sponsor this year for the first time, which meant that their name would be on all the programs and in the newspaper. She and Jen had taken a calculated risk and spent the money for a sponsorship, hoping to draw some out-of-towners a little distance from the main festival area to their brewery. They’d been fairly busy at last year’s event, but they expected to be swamped all weekend this year.

  Lydia shrugged. “I don’t have any reason to leave early today or any day. Not like I have anything to go home to.”

  Erin’s stomach dropped. Lydia’s depression was starti
ng to seem serious. Erin grabbed her shoulders. “Hey. Don’t think like that. You have your whole life in front of you. You’re still in your twenties, for God’s sake.”

  Lydia gave a bitter laugh. “It’s over, Erin, and you know it. The only thing I ever wanted—the only man I ever loved…” She shook her head, suddenly choking up. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

  “Of course it does, Lydia. You still have so much to look forward to. I know you don’t like working here, but Dad, Jen, and I are willing to help you find a career you’re interested in. Maybe you can go back to school—”

  Lydia laughed again and shook her head. “You’re all so deluded. Can you see me going back to school? Really?”

  Erin’s patience snapped again, and she dropped her hands. “So what are you going to do? Mope around Loveland for the rest of your life doing nothing? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?”

  For the first time in weeks, some life flared into Lydia’s eyes. “Hey—fuck you, Erin! If anyone’s pathetic around here, it’s you and Jen. At least I went after my dreams!”

  “What they hell are you talking about? I have my dream. You’re working here!”

  “I’m talking about Geo, you dummy. I left with him because I love him. And now…” She fought a sob and shook her head. “Well, he did something stupid, but I still love him. We were going to get married later that week.” Her face hardened again. “And like I said, at least I tried to make it work. Jen just gave up when Charlie left. And you—well, you’re not much better.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I’m talking about Darcy! Who the hell do you think I’m talking about?”

  Erin felt as if she’d been slapped, and she flinched in surprise. As far as she knew, Darcy and Lydia had never even spoken to each other. They’d met once or twice, and seen each other in passing more than that, but Erin thought that was the extent of their contact.