by D. Kelly
“To Daniel and Kate,” he says, raising his glass. “May they live happily ever after.”
Are you allowed to ugly cry at your own wedding? Because I totally am and I don’t even care. Now it’s just going to get worse because Jess is standing to give her speech.
“My name is Jessica Smythe, and I’m Kate and Mike’s other best friend. When you grow up with best friends you keep them with you for life. Those of you who know us know that the past seven months have, without a doubt, never once been boring. And for those of you who don’t know us, just be happy you’re here witnessing this happily ever after for yourselves because it almost didn’t happen.
“This past year, we have found love with new people, we’ve revisited past sins, and survived tragic losses. We’ve grieved again for a child lost and learned a new way to move forward one day at a time. Daniel and Kate give me hope that one day I can be as open to love as they are. This is not a couple you’ll be wishing you had never spent so much money on for their wedding when they divorce five years from now. This is the couple you’ll spend twice the amount of money on when you celebrate their fiftieth anniversary with them.
“I never realized love could rip you open, spit you out, and make you whole again. True love is messy and complicated. It isn’t always roses and chocolates. It’s filled with compromise, compassion, empathy, trust, faith, and undeniable love. One of you is bound to fall out of love down the road, but that’s when the other one fights hard and shows you why you fell in love with them all over again. There will be sadness and loss. But the happy times will by far exceed the occasional pain.
“I’m not trying to sound ominous. As a matter of fact, everything I just said is something they have already gone through. And yet, we’re still here, on the other side, basking in a love so pure you would never know the tribulations they’ve already gone through. Kathrine Grace Moore, you are my best friend and constant inspiration. You are the Thelma to my Louise, you are my sister, and the mother to my beautiful nephew. You are my constant in life, and I love you more than you could ever possibly know. My wish for you today is for your life, and your marriage, to be blessed with eternal happiness and love.
“To Daniel and Kate,” Jess says, raising her glass, and in seconds we’re hugging and sobbing together. Jess isn’t an emotional person and I know how much that took for her to open herself up like that.
“I love you so much. Let love into your heart, Jess. Let it surround you and fill you where you’re hurting too much to let it in. I promise you it’s worth it, but more than that, you’re worth it.”
“I know and I’ll think about it,” she says, pushing me toward Daniel. “It’s time for your dance.”
Daniel leads me to the dance floor. “Ladies and Gentlemen, the first dance. Mr. and Mrs. McCormick, please take the floor.”
Daniel pulls me close as the beginning notes of Peace by OAR starts to play. As I suck in a breath, Daniel smiles. “I thought this song was perfect.”
“You picked this?” my voice is filled with awe.
“I listened to this song every night when I put Lucas to bed. It soothes him and it was healing for me. It says everything I wished I could have said to you then but didn’t know how. We might have lost two months, Kate, but you never left my heart once.”
He places a heart-stopping kiss on my lips as the music stops. “You are my entire world, Mr. McCormick,” I say whispering in his ear.
“And you are mine, Mrs. McCormick,” he whispers back.
Connor
Once Jess gives her speech, she sits back and sobs while watching the first dance and in turn, I watch her. She’s not crying happy tears; there’s something going on with her. She’s hurting and I have no idea how to make it better.
When she catches on that I’m watching her, she flashes me another forced smile. I’ve been getting a lot of those lately and I’m tired of it. The last thing I want to do tonight is make a scene at my best friend’s wedding, but I’ve had enough. A few minutes later she goes outside and when she doesn’t come back in, I decide to go and look for her.
After searching all the usual places, I realize there’s only one place she can be. My parents’ house is built on a hill that overlooks the ocean and Jess likes to sit on the benches on the bluff and think. Her silhouette glows under the moonlight but even from here, I can see her body is wracked with sobs.
The last thing I want to do is scare her when I come up behind her, so I call out her name softly, wrapping my arms around her from behind. For a long time I don’t say anything, instead I let her cry out whatever it is that’s bothering her.
“Jessica, please talk to me,” my voice cracks as I beg. She and I are two of the same; we deflect anything serious with sarcasm.
“I can’t, Connor. I’m sorry but I just can’t.”
Mike’s voice rings inside of my head, ‘Don’t let her shut you out, you’ll never get back in.’
Circling in front of her, I kneel between her legs and take her hands in mine. It’s warm out but she’s freezing. I take my jacket off and wrap it around her and carefully tilt her face until I can see those beautiful blue eyes of hers. Using my thumb to wipe away her tears seems to calm her a little bit.
“Okay, Jess, if you don’t want to talk you don’t have to, but I need to talk to you. I’ve got something to say and I’ve been holding it in for a while now.”
She nods and her shoulders slump in defeat. “It’s okay, Connor, I know you want to break up and maybe it’s for the best.”
No fucking way.
“Angel, the last thing I want to do is break up with you. I’m not sure why you would even think that.” She sniffles and looks at me.
“You’ve been pulling away, spending more time at home, it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.”
I stand up and sit down next to her on the bench and pull her onto my lap. “I was trying to give you space. Mike said it would probably backfire and I guess it did. The past few weeks you’ve seemed really distant and standoffish. I thought if I gave you space you’d realize I’m not trying to suffocate you.”
“Why would you be suffocating me?”
“Jessica,” after taking a deep breath I continue, “you are not an easy person to love.” She tries to pull away but I hold on tight.
“That’s low, Connor.” She’s seething.
“Let me finish, please.” She stops fighting me so I continue. “You’re scarred by your mom and the definition of love you were provided by her. I don’t know what that’s like but I can imagine it’s why you’re so against falling in love. I’m constantly trying to walk a fine line of loving you enough but not too much to send you running for the hills. To be honest, it’s exhausting.”
“Then why do you do it?” she bites out and I grab her head and make her look at me.
“Because you are worth it. Jessica, you are worth that and so much more. But I’m tired of walking the line. Let me in, please. Let me love you like you deserve to be loved.”
“I don’t know if I can, and even if I did, you probably won’t want me anymore anyway.” She’s so self-deprecating.
“I will always want you. All day I’ve been trying to figure out a way to convince you to let me in. I’m not romantic like Daniel or extremely PDA like Jake. I’m not a bad boy like Mike. I’m just me. A little bit funny, a lot sarcastic, and one hundred percent in love with my angel.”
She stills completely and I’m sure I’ve lost her.
“Connor, I’m pregnant.”
That was totally not what I was expecting her to say. She turns and faces me. “Did you hear what I said?”
We’re going to have a baby.
Hell fucking yes! We’re going to have a baby.
My hands reach up, pulling her face to mine. She’s so close, our lips are touching as I whisper, “We’re having a baby.”
She nods, her tears falling onto my cheeks. Pulling her closer, I close the gap between us. Tenderly kissing her, trying to ge
t close but still not feeling close enough, her mouth parts for me and my tongue duels with hers. I’m trying to prove to her with this kiss that I’m not going anywhere.
She sobs out my name through the kiss, “Connor.”
Slowly, I pull back, softly tugging on her lip before releasing her. My hands immediately go to her belly.
“A baby, Jess?” She nods. “How far along?”
“Not too far, about six weeks. The doctor says end of February or beginning of March.”
I drop back to my knees and rub her belly. “Marry me.” It just flies out of my mouth but I’ve never wanted anything more.
She surprises me when she laughs. “Connor, that is so cliché. You’re not marrying me because you knocked me up.”
“Jessica Smythe, I don’t want to marry you because I knocked you up. I want to marry you because for weeks I’ve been trying to figure out how I could get you to understand that I love you and I’m past the fun stage.”
“Can we compromise?” she asks sweetly, and I give her a look that tells her I’m not one to compromise much. “Let’s move in together. If everything goes well, and I can learn to love you the way that you deserve to be loved, after the baby comes, I’ll marry you.”
It’s not bad. We don’t really need to rush into marriage but I don’t want some other douchebags hitting on her while she’s pregnant. There are lots of kinky fuckers out there that don’t care. “On two conditions,” I say as I plant kisses on her belly.
“Let’s hear them.” She already sounds so much happier.
“You let me buy you an engagement ring. We’re moving forward with positive thoughts that this will work out. You are not going to think or say the word if ever again when it comes to us. Only will. We will work out, we will have a baby cuter than Hailey, we will get married, we will be deeply and devastatingly in love with each other for the rest of our lives. See how easy that is?”
“Okay, but what’s the second condition?”
I flash her the biggest panty dropping smile I’ve got for this one. “That you and I go back into that wedding and tell everyone we’re having a baby.”
She shakes her head. “It’s their big day.”
I take her hand and pull her to a standing position. “It’s ours, too. We gave up our party for theirs. I think we can go spread some joy. Besides, Kate would kill you for keeping it a secret any longer.”
“Alright, let’s go.”
Kate
All the first dances are out of the way and my dad and I actually seemed like we bonded a little over ours. He was really happy to see me wearing my mom’s necklace, too. He made sure to point out he would have happily walked me down the aisle but after everything that has happened, he figured Mike deserved the honor just as much as he did. I think my heart opened up a little bit wider to him in that moment.
He and Claire are also very excited to have the grandkids visit and are hoping for more from both of us soon. Now it’s time to cut the cake but I don’t see Jess and Connor anywhere. I’d hate for them to miss it but we are apparently on a schedule. As soon as Daniel’s hand covers mine and we start cutting the cake, she appears magically by my side, smiling bigger than I’ve seen in a very long time.
Daniel got my favorite cake from the Bread Basket Bakery turned into a wedding cake big enough to feed two hundred people. Right before he feeds me a piece, he whispers in my ear, “As much as I want to smash this cake all over your face, I’m not going to because then I wouldn’t be able to help myself from cleaning it all up with my tongue.”
So yeah, I’m ready to get out of here now. Thankfully, this is the last thing we have to do tonight. Jess and Connor shoot us hand signals from across the room to meet them outside. Daniel looks at me and shrugs but I hurry him along because I’m curious to see what they have to say.
“Did you guys finally work things out?” Daniel asks Connor who looks at Jess and she nods.
“Well, I laid my heart on the line and told her how in love with her I am.”
“And…” I push for him to get on with it.
“And she told me she’s pregnant.”
I might have screamed really loud and drawn a lot of unnecessary attention to myself. Then when I started hugging Jess within an inch of her life and screaming “oh my god” over and over a few times, it might not have helped any. Connor laughs at us when he finishes man-hugging Daniel.
“You know, Kate, you’re lucky we were coming to ask your permission to tell tonight because now it’s your fault we have to tell everyone.” I’m blushing eleventy bazillion shades of red as I turn around and realize almost the entire wedding is now surrounding us outside of the tent.
“What is going on, you guys? Jesus, Kate, we can hear you squealing all the way in the bathroom. We thought something was wrong,” Mike says, out of breath.
“No, something is very, very, right!” I squeal in excitement.
Connor climbs up on a chair after Daniel hands him a microphone. He’s really going to do this up. “Sorry for the disturbance, everyone, but the bride just found out her best friend Jessica is having my baby!”
There is an enormous round of cheers and for the first time tonight, someone other than the two of us is the center of attention.
“Do you want to make a break for it?” I nod eagerly. “Follow me around the corner.”
Okay, that’s odd.
Daniel takes a quick look around and crawls under my dress, his hand sliding up until he finds what he’s looking for. Then suddenly, I feel his teeth scraping against my skin on the way down. When he comes back up for air he’s got the garter between his teeth.
“I’ve been dying to do that all night. Come on. We’re going to do a very untraditional gifting of the garter and bouquet.”
Daniel corners Mike and tosses the garter at him before he even realizes what it is he’s catching and laughs. I use my index finger to lead Jess in my direction. She slips out almost unnoticed with Connor taking all of the attention.
“How?” I ask the one question I’m dying to know and she blushes.
“Too much having fun and not enough pill taking?” she answers, shrugging her shoulders. That is the absolute perfect way for a Connor and Jess baby to be created—while having fun.
“Here, take this,” I say as I hand her the bouquet and hug her something fierce.
“What’s this for?” she asks, trying to hand it back.
“That is the bouquet toss, you caught it. Congratulations! We’re dying to get out of here. I love you and I’ll see you when we get back. Please check in on Lucas for me and make sure Mike and Misty text me pictures every day.”
She crosses her heart and blows me a kiss goodbye. Since Lucas is sleeping, I missed my chance to say bye but I’ll just have to make Mike FaceTime him for me.
“Are you ready, Mrs. McCormick?” my devastatingly handsome husband asks me in a very seductive tone.
“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life, Mr. McCormick.”
One year later
Kate
We’re all gathering at the Houstons’ to celebrate the milestones today. It’s a tradition for them to gather and celebrate all the things that have happened in the past year. It also happens to be our first wedding anniversary. Daniel and I had an amazing honeymoon and traded sexual favors with each other that are likely still outlawed in some of our Bible Belt states. We had an amazing time and even went swimming naked under our cabana. If I hadn’t missed Lucas so much I don’t know if I would’ve ever come home.
We’re sitting outside with Lucas, who is sixteen months old now, and as usual, is running circles around us. The first time he called me mommy I was pregnant and on hormone overload. I cried for two days, not constantly but often. Since it was a new word, he was saying it a lot with a huge smile on his face every single time. And even though I adopted him as soon as we got back from our honeymoon, I still felt guilty I was here for that moment and Vanessa wasn’t. It’s still hard. I think
about her every day and even more when he hits a milestone. But then I tell myself she chose me for him and it makes it easier to handle.
Pulling myself from my memories, I try to pay attention to the here and now. Daniel heads our way with our daughter in one hand and Hailey holding the other. When she sees me, she runs as fast as she can and launches into my arms.
“Easy, Hailey,” Daniel cautions, but I wave him off .
“I’m fine,” I tell him honestly.
“Auntie Kate, there’s no more baby in your belly!” She points to the baby Daniel’s holding and I reach out for my little girl.
“Nope, she’s not in my belly anymore, she’s right here.” After pulling the blanket away from her face, I lean down so Hailey can meet Haven.
“Hailey, this is your new little cousin Haven Vanessa McCormick.”
She leans over and kisses her forehead. “She’s so cute,” she cries out before running off after Lucas. “Luke! I kissed your little sister! She’s so cute!” Lucas runs toward Hailey. I think she has become his favorite person.
“That’s a romance in the making,” Daniel says with a chuckle.
“Well, thank God they’re not actually cousins or that could get a little awkward.”
“True,” he replies, kissing me on the forehead. “Have I told you today how beautiful you are?”
Ever since I got pregnant, I’ve been a little self-conscious of the extra weight. Daniel has been extra sensitive to it and compliments me more often than usual. Haven is a month old today and I’ve only got about ten more pounds to lose. Hopefully, they’ll be gone by the time we can start having sex again. I really miss sex.
“You have, but thank you for telling me again.”
He pulls me close and looks from me to our baby girl. “You look so sexy holding her and it kills me we have to wait another month before sex.”
