Hold 2

by Jayne Blue

  If he charged ahead and made a scene he would lose her, and that thought was keeping him from losing his shit. What if he had already lost her? What if it was Zeke she really loved?

  Chapter Ten

  Cassidy

  Seeing Zeke was as awful as she thought it would be. She wanted to go up to him, hug him, talk to him, and be his friend. She had been the worst at friendship in the history of the world so all she could do was look at Zeke and let him speak.

  “Can we please talk?” It was a simple request but so many things were happening. She knew Craddock was back there, she felt his eyes on her. If he did what he always did faced with her and Zeke, lose his temper, the two fighters could very nearly tear the GWG down.

  She wanted to talk to Zeke, to try to explain, to ask forgiveness for hurting him.

  “Okay.” Was her reply and they walked out of the front door together. When Craddock did not charge after them, she felt marginally better. At least she could deal with Zeke one-on-one without the Craddock factor.

  “Let’s walk around the block okay?” Zeke suggested, he was so damn beautiful; it shamed her to think she did not feel the same way about him as she did Craddock. But there it was. She tried to move on from Craddock with Zeke but really she knew now she had not.

  “I’m sorry.” She said.

  “For what?”

  “For hurting you, I don’t want us to fight, and it kills me that we’re in this place.” She started crying and Zeke pulled her into an alleyway to get them off the sidewalk.

  “You were confused. I get it. Let’s just forget about last night.” Zeke wrapped her in his arms. She wanted to sink into them but it was not the same. These were not the arms she belonged in. She knew that without a doubt now.

  “Zeke, no.” She stepped back.

  “I love you as a friend and I want to try to go back to that. I was so angry that you said that to Craddock and never told me. But, it is over. I need to...”

  “You’re back with him already right?” Zeke’s sweet posture was disappearing.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Did you fuck him last night or not? Pretty easy yes-or-no question?” She winced at his language. His raw pain was her fault.

  “Zeke, I’m going now. Me and you it was a mistake...”

  “What, you seemed to like it pretty well?” Cassidy knew these words were all anger and hurt and not coming from the true person inside, the sweet Zeke, she had loved in her way. There was nothing she could say or do right now to stem his anger. She had turned him into this. Cassidy felt like she had brought the sinner out of a good man. There was no way to fix that. Getting away from him was all she could do.

  “I think we’re done.” She let a sob escape as she fled the alleyway. She heard him call out her name but she knew the worst thing she could to his broken heart was make him think there was hope for them or a future. She had ruined that, he had ruined that too, with his lie to start them off, and in the end, Craddock had ruined her for anyone else.

  Zeke was the casualty and she needed to top the bleeding so she kept running away from Zeke. Her friend.

  When she got back to the GWG Craddock was still there. She knew he would be. He nodded his head when she returned but otherwise did not give away their secret.

  When she was ready to leave, she did her normal routine and headed for the bus. She looked and knew Craddock was following. She walked up the stairs to her place and there he was leaning against her door, arms crossed, looking incredibly sexy with his low slung jeans.

  His face did something to her too, his blue eyes framed by eyelashes any woman would die for.

  “You’re not fair.” She said and that was the truth. She stood no chance at saying no to anything he wanted as long as wanted her.

  “Why?”

  “I can’t break your hold.”

  “I thought you did?”

  “I was fooling myself.”

  “Can I come in?” He had always asked, she realized, for permission to come in to her crappy little home.

  “Yes.”

  “I’ve missed this place.” He said as he practically filled it up with his broad shoulders.

  “Yeah? It’s quite a palace.”

  “We do okay here.” He was hanging back and she appreciated it. She was sure any more sex, love, or heartbreak today would kill her. She did not have the energy for Craddock’s big life either right then.

  “I suppose we do. You’re dying to ask, I know.”

  “Ask?”

  “You didn’t charge in and stop me from talking to Zeke.”

  “Or leaving with Zeke.” He pointed out and she noticed the clench in his jaw but let it go. This was big progress for Craddock Flynn, letting her out of his sight with a man he considered his rival.

  “Or leaving with Zeke. I don’t owe you an explanation you know?”

  “I know. I am just glad you let me in your apartment. I don’t want to push my luck.”

  “So I broke it off with Zeke yesterday and then today again. Today was harder.”

  “He didn’t take it well, no one who loses you does.”

  “You pushed me away.” She pointed it out and he nodded in response, was that acknowledgement? He waited a beat in silence.

  “I was a fool.” He opened his arms palms facing outward. She looked from his arms to his eyes. He was giving her another choice, to go to him instead of be enveloped by him. Really, it was no choice at all. She stepped forward into his embrace and he folded his arms around her.

  She felt him exhale.

  “This feels so good,” he said, “I love the way your hair smells.”

  “Weirdo,” she said, “so what now?”

  “What is now is if you don’t sit on my lap naked with Chinese food in about twenty minutes, I might die.”

  She laughed so hard it made her cry. Then she cried. Then they ordered takeout.

  Craddock

  “You’ve been watching the show?” He asked her as they laid in bed her tucked under his arm.

  “They made us.” She replied and ran her smooth leg up and down his. It made it difficult to concentrate but he was hungry for information about her life.

  “Like at gunpoint?” He teased her.

  “No but the GWG, Sawyer, he wants the company to benefit as much as possible from you and G-Man making it big so he agreed to let them film us while we watch you.”

  “So many levels. Camera been bothering you?” He was doing all he could to keep the cameras away but had no idea what was happening back here at home.

  “Mostly I stand in a back row behind one of the guys so they can’t see me. However, that one beak-nosed looking producer guy always has questions. I don’t answer but I see him lurking about so I avoid him.”

  “That’s pretty much the best idea. So what do you think of the show?”

  “You are fishing for compliments.”

  “Yep.”

  “I can barely look at you when you’re on it because you look so gorgeous and it was pretty much making me want to vomit.” He understood the sentiment. When she was in his vision, if he could not be with her, he would rather be somewhere else.

  “Sorry about me looking so good. What I am saying is you know what is happening with me but I feel left out of everything you are doing. I need to know what your days are like.”

  “You do eh?” She gave him a sexy smirk and rubbed her naked curves along his side. He ran his hand from her hair all the way down her back and rested on her round little ass.

  “You are trying to distract me but I want to know.” He squeezed her cheek and she wiggled against him.

  “Fine, well work at the GWG, I’m helping them set up a 21C League sanctioned fight between Cary Latanza and Randy Rawson.

  “In Grand City?” That would be a big event for their sized town Craddock realized.

  “Yep, Sawyer’s excited because it will be another way for the GWG to have in roads into fight promotion.”

  “Gotcha,
Sawyer, huh?”

  “Yes, we work together a lot.”

  “You are developing a taste for bikers while I’m out of the picture.”

  “It’s not like that you ass. He’s a good boss.”

  “Okay, well then we already know you’re good at setting up those events I’m sure it’s going perfect.”

  “Thanks, pretty well.”

  “What about school, still the star online student?”

  “You know there’s one thing I never got to tell you. It’s sort of something that hurt quite a bit when you were, well, when we broke up.”

  “What babe? What’s going on?”

  “I’m still doing online classes but I also got a big grant that paid for this round of school and in exchange I’m helping a professor do research on a way to improve outcomes for foster kids.”

  “What? That’s great. I mean why didn’t you tell me that? That’s huge.” He dragged her up from his chest to his lips and kissed her. She seemed reserved all of a sudden.

  “Thank you.”

  “What’s wrong, what’d I do?” The playful kitten she had been a minute ago was replaced with a cloud over her eyes.

  “I just was so excited when it happened, I actually interviewed for it during the day of your final fight at the Smack Down. I raced back in time so I wouldn’t miss any of your fight. Then you were so angry anyway.” She started to pull back.

  “I was an ass. A complete ass. I ruined your big news with my bullshit.” He squeezed her tight.

  “Yes you did. I’ve been wanting to tell you so bad.” The disappointment in her voice hurt his heart.

  “Tell me now.” She hesitated a minute. Maybe she wanted to punish him for not being there for her big accomplishment. The fact that she was making her way in the world with on one’s help made him so proud of her. She was working, going to school and now doing this internship all on her own. She was her own kind of tough.

  “Please.” He pinned her place to him.

  “Okay so the research involves keeping kids in one school the entire length of their education so that they have bonds and connections.” Slowly her reluctance to share evaporated with the distance.

  He listened as he explained what she was doing for Dr. Paul Showers and how smart he was and how this was going to make a difference. She talked about funding trouble and her hopes for the future with this Showers dude.

  He made a mental note to check him out. He had already annoyed her with questions about Sawyer. If this was going to work this time, he was going to have to do a better job of at least hiding his jealous impulses.

  He reminded himself that if he showed concern about her bosses it made it seem like she was succeeding only because of her physical appeal. Thanks to mom for cluing him in on that little relationship gem. Though she said something like, “Women can just be good at our jobs you idiot.”

  He was damn sure not to make her think his jealousy meant he thought she was succeeding on anything but brains, talent, and drive. Still he was going to check the guy out on the sly.

  “And you did this all on your own? You’re one impressive chick.” He said.

  “Damn right I am.” He kissed her again because impressive did not begin to cover it.

  Cassidy

  There was no sign of Zeke at the GWG since they had broken up. Guilt about that had planted itself and was growing. It felt awful. Craddock had two more days and then he was leaving. She made him come on his own and not with her to be sure not to rub this in Zeke’s face if he did show up to the GWG.

  She tried to justify her actions and knew it had been whiplash fast, her route from breaking it off with Zeke to showing up on Craddock’s door. She was not used to feeling bad about herself, she always tried to be a good person and this did not seem like what a good person would do.

  She was nibbling her sandwich while the normal activities of the GWG kicked up the sweat level in the place and fogged up the street front window.

  Sawyer came over and leaned on her desk. He wore leather pants and a white t-shirt. He had gotten used to removing his MC leather jacket as the heat factor rose in the place. It was her job to make sure no one touched it has it hung on the hook next to her coat.

  She was pretty sure that as tough as the all the fighters were they were also smart enough not to mess with Sawyer or the Great Wolves MC that owned the gym. There was fighter tough and street tough. They all got that the cheerful Sawyer was able to be so because no one messed with him or his club or his jacket thank you very much.

  “So you’re eating. That’s good to see.” Sawyer remarked.

  “What?”

  “I think you’re love life has been getting in the way of you taking good care of yourself and I need you healthy.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because I’m storing half the information for the fight we’re setting up in your head!”

  “Oh, I see.”

  “You seem a little off though. Anything this old biker can help with, not as a boss but more of a hmm, uncle? I think I’m about old enough for that.”

  “Uncle Biker?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

  “Uncle Sawyer to you. So? You’re Craddock’s old lady again eh?”

  “How the heck?”

  “Uncle Sawyer is wise to the ways of young love.”

  “Hrmph.” She gave him a noise and took a bite of the cracker she had packed herself.

  “I take that as a yes. So what is the little storm cloud I see hovering over your desk today? Craddock treating you okay? I’m not unfamiliar with teaching these fighters a lesson if need be.”

  “No, I think we’re okay. More than okay,” she hesitated and then decided that maybe Sawyer was a good person to talk to. She had ruined her friendship with Zeke and now had no sounding board. Bess’s advice was always dump ‘em all.

  “Okay, so the storm cloud as you called it is guilt.”

  “Guilt? You cut a bitch in a fit of rage or something?” He was teasing her and it did make her laugh.

  “No, the bitch deserved it.”

  “Touché, niece of mine.”

  “I’m guilty about Zeke.”

  “Oh, did you cheat on Zeke with Craddock?”

  “Technically no, I ended it with him and then, well, went running back to Craddock.”

  “I see, quite the vixen. I’m going to help you with this guilt issue. First of all, any guilt is a waste of time. You did what you did and whatever it was, it was the right thing for you. It's over. That’s my philosophy.”

  “Sounds great.”

  “Yep, with age comes knowledge. Then here’s the other thing, man code.”

  “Man code?”

  “Yep, I hear things around here and Zeke was always after you and Craddock always had you. Zeke stepped right in when you were nursing that broken heart and he was nursing that broken noggin. No cooling off period. He was always the rebound man and that is never what you want to be. Trust me. I’ve been burned by that pole position before too.”

  “So Uncle Sawyer what are you saying?”

  “I’m saying he was always way more into you than you him and it’s a recipe for just exactly what happened. You didn’t cheat, which I would have frowned upon, your main man just got himself right so you’re back.”

  “My main man, my old man, you’re right I suppose. That’s Craddock no matter what I do.”

  “Yep, looks like. And Zeke knew it then and he’s learned a little bit about rebounding now too.”

  “Sawyer?”

  “Can you keep it quiet about me and Craddock for now?”

  “Oh no way, I’m going to tell all the guys and we’re going to put it on Facebook.” He gave her a wink and got up.

  “Okay enough of your bullshit love life; I’ve got a fight to promote. Did you make all the travel arrangements for Rawson?”

  “Yep all set.”

  “Good, Uncle Sawyer is pleased.” She laughed; she had no uncles that she was aware of so Sawyer the Biker Un
cle would have to do. She could do worse she supposed.

  He had made her feel marginally better about the Zeke situation but still she worried. He was out there, in pain, and she had caused it.

  She swiveled her desk chair around to see Craddock spotting Darius at the weight bench. He watched to see that Darius safely completed his rep and then looked in her direction and caught her eye.

  She put her finger to her lip, a signal they had shared, the last time they were together. His eyes on her were wicked, she decided to forget her guilt for one more day at least and enjoy their time together. All too soon, he would be heading back to Vegas for the two biggest fights of his life.

  After a long day of workouts for him and work for her, Craddock wanted to take her out. The only time he could ditch the Tough to the Top cameras and producers were when he was in his own duplex. Everywhere else they hovered, determined to get enough for the home episode.

  “If we go somewhere this will look like an episode of The Bachelor.” He complained.

  “So we won’t go anywhere, you go home and I’ll go get us dinner. Text me when the coast is clear.”

  “Perfect and I’m in the mood for Italian.” He was so bossy.

  “Lucky I know how to make spaghetti. It is among the three things I know how to make.”

  Craddock gave her a food list and she discovered he also gave her 50 dollars to buy it. She would like to say it was on her but who was she kidding? He had a job on television and she was an intern, student, gym receptionist. She gladly took the cash and set about getting the makings of a great dinner in.

  She also decided to make a better showing of her appearance when she arrived at his door this time. She wore her nice black dress from Bess and her black heels. It wasn’t much but hoped Craddock liked it. She wasn’t used to dressing up and wasn’t going to be doing much of it as a social worker but for their at home date she did her best. She even put her hair in a top knot, which was a major undertaking.

  After Craddock was sure his television crew shadows were gone, she loaded his car with her groceries. He had loaned it to her and caught a ride with Jessie. Craddock was hoping to get Jessie some screen time because it would be good for his fight prospects. He said it also kept the producers somewhat quiet because they were getting Craddock “interacting.”