Fulfilling Torment

by B. L. Purser

  “As awesome as coming inside of you feels, I know it’s messy. The least I can do is help clean you up.”

  His polite and mild mannerisms had me stunned. I wasn’t sure how to respond. While I certainly preferred this side of him over his curt all-business persona, I didn’t want to draw too much attention to it for fear that it might dissipate. Once he had thoroughly wiped me down, I sat up and smiled sweetly at him.

  “Thank you, but you didn’t have to do that. I certainly could have cleaned myself up.”

  I continued, “I think it’s getting a little late. I guess I better get back to my apartment.”

  I had not played out how the “after” conversation would go, and I was uncertain of how to handle it. I soon realized that I didn’t have to be real prepared with him. He always had a plan.

  He bent and picked up my shorts from the floor and extended them out to me. I tried to remove them from his grasp, but he didn’t release them.

  “Cam, take a shower with me.”

  He motioned toward a door with his free hand. “There is a massive shower through there with more shower heads than you have body parts. Let me give you a demonstration. No strings attached; I promise.”

  He released his grip on my shorts and held up his hands as if showing he was unarmed. Strangely enough, the gesture caused a giggle to trickle up from my throat. I grabbed my mouth to try to lock it inside, but I was too late. It escaped and filled the air surrounding us. I was stunned when I saw a small smile slide across his lips before he quickly turned and whispered, “Follow me.”

  I noticed how languid my muscles had become as I followed Aiden’s bare buns into the ginormous shower. If anything, he had understated the magnitude of the shower. Shower heads lined every square inch of the walls, and a large rain head floated above our heads. I studiously watched as Aiden showed me how to operate the shower heads, lights, and music. Amazingly enough, speakers were also built into the walls to provide a surround sound experience. I didn’t bother to inform him that I only listened to music when I worked out and that it was only a specific pre-loaded set. However, the gentle melody and the sounds of ocean waves lapping the beach created a wonderful harmony. It accentuated our post-coital state perfectly.

  After the thorough demonstration, we both quietly took to bathing ourselves. This experience also provided me the opportunity to take in Aiden’s entire naked body. Even though I had seen him naked a few times, it was never for very long. Seeing him now, the perfection was not lost on me. He did not have an inch of fat on his body anywhere. Smooth bulging muscles covered every inch of him, and that manly “v” that forms at the hips and highlights the way to heaven made me swoon a little.

  He caught me admiring him, and I waited for him to spout off a smart remark. Surprisingly, he never did. Instead, he gently grabbed my shoulders and pivoted me to where I was facing away from him. Just when I had convinced myself that he must not want me to look at him when we are not engaged in sexual acts, I felt a soapy washcloth sliding across my back. Aiden Bennett was washing my back. The irony of this was not lost on me. Furthermore, the thought that this was probably the most intimate thing he had ever done scared the hell out of me. He leaned close to my ear and whispered,“Cam, you have an amazing body, the likes of which I have never seen before. You make me want to plunge deep inside of you again and again even though I am already completely sated. You cause me to second guess myself and make rash decisions. I do not understand you or the effect you have on me. I want to get far, far away from you, but it’s like the planets won’t allow it. You scare me.”

  Even though I didn’t understand how I could possibly scare Aiden Bennett, I understood everything he was feeling. After all, it was mirrored in my own thoughts and feelings.

  Chapter 14

  – Cam

  Slowly, I began to drift back to consciousness. The soft, plush comforter that I was wrapped up in tried to convince me not to leave, but I knew there was something that I had to do. The fuzziness in my brain made it difficult to think. Then panic grabbed a hold of me, and I jumped up to peer around the room. Where was I? I was having trouble getting my brain to function. Then, I remembered. I was in my nice, new apartment. Oddly enough, I was waking up from the best night of sleep that I had ever had. I sunk slowly back into the irresistibly soft blankets. Whatever it was would have to wait. After all, it was still the weekend, and I didn’t have to go to work. Then it hit me; Dr. Reed would be here at nine o’clock.

  I glanced at my phone and realized that I only had ten minutes before he was scheduled to arrive.

  “Shit!”

  I jumped up and ran to the shower. After two minutes of letting the hot water pound me awake, I quickly grabbed a towel and dried myself off best I could. I now had seven minutes to get ready. I threw on a tank top and exercise shorts. After briefly looking into the mirror, I decided to blow dry my air quickly, place it in a ponytail, and then focus the last few minutes on applying a little make-up. I hated to scare the good doctor the first time I met him. I had no sooner finished my make-up when I heard the ding of the elevator.

  I rushed quickly to the door and glanced at the man displayed on the monitor. He was tall with blonde hair and blue eyes, and he would have made the perfect Ken doll. I guess most women would have found that look appealing, but I always preferred dark and dangerous to preppy and perfect. Even though I knew who he was, I repeated the act that I had previously used with Hawkins and waited for his reply.

  “Hello, I am Dr. Reed. I am here to see Ms. Anderson.”

  The inner child in me wanted to ask if Barbie had come along too, but I thought better of it. I pressed the button below the monitor and watched the doors glide open.

  As he stepped into the apartment, I extended my hand. “Please call me Cam. It is nice to make your acquaintance Dr. Reed. I apologize in advance for my appearance. Evidently, my new surroundings have me a little befuddled. I seem to have overslept this morning.”

  He gave me a warm smile and quickly dismissed the apology. “Nonsense, you look fine. Besides, who would want to get dressed up for this?” He winked at me as he grabbed his bag in one hand and a big suitcase looking contraption in the other.

  He made his way into the apartment and inquired as to where would be best to set up. I guided him into the living room area and watched as he set the items down on the floor at his feet.

  I tried to remember my manners in my nervous state. “Please have a seat anywhere you would like Dr. Reed.” After he had selected one of the arm chairs, I settled in on the couch across from him.

  “Cam, I thought we might get started by just discussing a little about you. I would also like to take this time for you to ask questions about me. I want you to be comfortable with the situation prior to beginning the exam. Does that sound alright to you?”

  I nodded my head in agreement and waited for the questioning to begin.

  “First, I want you to know that I am only interested in things that could pertain to your and Aiden’s current and future health. I will be asking you some very personal questions. If at any time, you do not wish to share the answer simply say ‘pass,’ and I will move on. I do not want you to feel uncomfortable in any way.”

  Once he got the preliminaries out of the way; he began. “Cam, are there any hereditary health impairments that run in your family?”

  I thought for a moment before speaking.

  “My maternal great-grandmother and paternal grandmother both had breast cancer. My father had type 2 diabetes and heart disease. My mother had high blood pressure and dementia. That is all that I am aware of. I do not have any aunts, uncles, or siblings.”

  “Very good.”

  He scribbled notes in the file folder before continuing.

  “Okay, have you had any health concerns that I may need to be aware of? How are your menstrual cycles? Have you ever had any female problems?”

  This was starting to get more personal than I wanted, but I had expected it. I cou
ld answer these questions, but if he continued to travel this path, I might have to use my safe word.

  “Several years ago, I encountered trauma to my lower abdomen. Both of my ovaries were completely severed from the rest of my female organs. In addition, they were extremely damaged. The surgeon tried his best to reattach them and repair the damage. Even though he was one of the best surgeons in our area, he could not control the scar tissue that developed because of the damage. Besides, ovaries are so small and fragile anyway. Through extensive testing, it was determined that my ovaries would not function in a reproductive manner anymore. He only left them in place because of something having to do with hormones. I am sure that you can read the information in my file. My uterus was also damaged, but I think it was repaired somewhat successfully.

  “For the last several years, my menstrual cycles have been sporadic. Most of the time, my period comes every other month. It is normally very light and only lasts a few days. My last doctor thought that had to do with the trauma and never seemed too concerned.”

  Again, I watched as he made notes.

  “Now, how many sexual partners have you had? Have you ever been pregnant? If so, how many times, and were they full-term? Have you ever had any miscarriages?”

  I was silent for a long moment. So long that, Dr. Reed looked up from his writing. I looked directly into his blue eyes and uttered the one word that I was able to squeeze out.

  “Pass.”

  He studied me for only a second before responding.

  “No problem. I know all of these questions can be a bit overwhelming.”

  He closed the file folder and placed it on the coffee table.

  “Why don’t we take a short break before resuming? Would you mind pointing me in the direction of the restroom? Then, I will need some time to set things up in here. Would you like to wait in the kitchen until I call for you?”

  I shook my head and quietly exited the room.

  Even though the kitchen was open to the living room, there was a small sitting area that was out of the direct line of vision. I grabbed a cool bottle of water from the fridge and tried to settle my rattled nerves. I had known that these questions were coming.

  In fact, Dr. Reed had made it a lot easier on me than I had expected. The hard part was over. Now, all I had to get through was the physical exam and discussion about the present and future. The rest of this would be a piece of cake.

  I heard him call from the living room letting me know he was ready when I was. I grabbed another bottle of water from the fridge and walked into the room.

  “I’m sorry. There are just certain things about my past that I am not able to discuss.”

  I handed him the unopened bottle of water as a peace offering and waited for his directions.

  “Listen Cam, I told you from the get go that you only had to answer questions that you wanted to. Stop beating yourself up. I have enough background information to go on.”

  His kind words combined with the genuine smile he wore seemed to clear the air between us.

  “I figured we could go ahead and do a physical exam. Then, we will finish the consultation afterward. Will that work for you?”

  I smiled and nodded in agreement. He handed me a gown and explained that I needed to remove all of my clothes including undergarments and put the gown on with the opening in the front. I excused myself and went to the bathroom to change into the gown.

  When I reentered the living room, I noticed that the big suitcase contraption actually opened up to become an exam table. It was similar to the one found in most exam rooms. Dr. Reed had draped it with sheets and placed a nice pillow at the head of it. He helped me onto the table and positioned my legs in the stirrups. As he worked beneath the blanket draped over my knees, he filled me in on his life.

  Although he mostly catered to Aiden and his needs, he did have a small side practice. He had been married to his high school sweetheart for eight years, and they had a little girl. He seemed to think she may be the only child they’d have due to her wild disposition.

  I soon found myself laughing and partaking in friendly chit-chat with the endearing doctor. He worked his way up after the female part of the exam was complete.

  He pushed on the entire length of the scar and inquired if any of the areas were painful. After assuring him that all was well with my abdomen area and the scar, he moved to my breasts. While thoroughly feeling all the way around my breasts for lumps, he lectured me about the importance of self-exams. I promised that I would definitely perform them every month.

  After the exam, he helped me down from the table and informed me that I could change back into my clothes. Once, I returned to the living room; we both settled into our previous sitting locations. I noticed that he had folded the table up, and my living room now looked completely normal again.

  He picked up his file folder and began.

  “Alright, we got all of your pertinent history out of the way; let’s discuss where we are going from here. Aiden has filled me in on his perception of things, but I would also like to get your thoughts. Explain to me what your take on the situation is.”

  I knew he wanted to see if my version of things lined up with what Aiden had discussed with him.

  “Okay. Well to begin with, Aiden and I met and soon discovered that we have intense sexual chemistry. Since neither of us is interested in any kind of relationship or commitment, it seemed that a sexual agreement may be possible. After Aiden had suggested the arrangement, I took a while to think it over. Due to events beyond my control, I need regular release in a sexual form. Finding one person to fulfill these needs without adding emotions to the mix is near impossible. However, partaking in constant one night stands is dangerous. It seems that Aiden’s offer was one that I couldn’t turn down. Since he was adamant that I would not be considered his mistress, I decided to see if we could make the arrangement work. Frankly, I am concerned that Aiden will be too controlling, and that is a large deal breaker for me. I guess you could call me a major control freak. Anyway, I have very little confidence that this will work, but as I am sure you are aware, Aiden can be very convincing.”

  Dr. Reed had quit writing and seemed to be hanging on every word I was saying. When I finished my spill, he laughed.

  “You certainly have a very good understanding of Aiden and how he operates. I am amazed that he actually found someone that has the same needs that he does. You know, this may actually work. It seems that your perceptions on the situation match perfectly. Do you feel like you will ever want to settle down and grow old with someone? Do you have desires to one day have a family? There are many ways to have children other than the natural way.”

  I knew he was baiting me to see if my resolve wavered in any way.

  “Dr. Reed, I don’t know who the president will be in four years. I am not certain what the weather will be like tomorrow. I do not even know what I will have for lunch in a few hours, but there is one thing that I am certain of. As long as live and breathe, I will remain alone. This is the life that I have chosen. I will not change my decision. It is ingrained in every ounce of Camilla Anderson.”

  Taking this as the confirmation he needed, he seemed ready to close out our appointment. I decided to take the opportunity to ask a few questions that had been weighing on my mind. I hoped that he could provide me the insight I needed.

  “Dr. Reed, may I take a moment to ask you a few questions?”

  He looked up from the bag that he had been restocking and answered.

  “Certainly, Cam. But, please call me Reed. I have a feeling that you and I will see a lot of each other.”

  I smiled in response to his suggestion.

  “It’s just that you are the only person that I have noticed calls Aiden by his first name. I am assuming that this means you are closer to him than anyone else. I would really like to understand his moods. While I don’t care to have a relationship with him other than the sex, it bothers me when he is mean and hateful. Do you have any i
nsight into his personality that you can share with me?”

  I watched carefully as Reed thought about his answer.

  “Cam, I can tell you this. Since I have known Aiden, his demanding, all-business personality has been the epitome of who he is. However, I have recently noticed a more emotionally charged personality emerge at times. My only explanation for this seems to be you. Everything else in his life is as it has always been, so you must be why he is more on edge. With that having been said, I deduce that as he becomes accustomed to your arrangement, his personality will go in one of two possible directions. It will level back out and become normal again, or you will continue to bring out a side that neither of us has much experience with. Either way, time will tell. Overall, once you are able to see past his hard shell, you will find that Aiden is a good person. He’s a little fucked up, but then again, aren’t we all?”

  His last remark took me aback. Although he had said it jokingly, I couldn’t help but realize it held more truth than he could possible imagine.

  Chapter 15

  – Aiden

  It had been a few days since I had been with Cam in the gym. Reed had touched base with me to confirm that the examination was complete. I was still fuming over his comments about her. He talked as if he was smitten with her. If I had not known him to be an upstanding husband and father, I would have kicked his ass. The fact that he called her Cam and not Ms. Anderson was not lost on me either.

  On a positive note, he reaffirmed that she was unable to have children, and assured me that she was in great physical and emotional health. Other than waiting for the test results, everything was a go. Of course, it didn’t really matter now since I had shot my original deal all to hell. As I thought back to the encounter, I couldn’t help but recall my intense confessions.