Learn to Fly

by Heidi Hutchinson

  The band had protested, when then found out what the plan was but Lenny calmly explained that this was something she had to do. She could tell they felt left out by being left at the Lodge but she had to do this without an audience. Luke, especially, seemed jilted. But like Duke said, one thing at a time.

  ***

  Duke was proud of Lenny for telling him the whole truth last night; he knew it hadn’t been easy. He was determined that she see this through. Nothing had ever seemed so right like when Lenny took to the slopes. His insides were still churning from all the new information. Shane had better stay away or Duke would end him. And Cody, even though she was Duke’s niece, was no longer welcome in his home. Lenny was really the only one who had ever mattered to Duke.

  She’d saved his life at a time when he was falling apart. He’s gotten into the Hollywood scene of snowboarding and things went from awesome to terrifying very quickly. You can only drink yourself into a blackout so many times before you decide that enough is enough. He got off the bottle and moved to the mountains where he met his niece’s best friend.

  Lenny had been only twelve but she was bold and daring and full of natural talent. Duke took the little bird under his wing and taught her all he knew. She gave him a reason to get up even when the depression threatened to force him to drink again. She took that information he gave her and turned herself into a legend. He started to only see her in the winter as school and competing took first place. But they stayed in good contact by phone.

  Then, after she had graduated high school at midterm, she wanted to take a trip into the back country of Alaska and ride some fresh powder. Duke hustled up some of his old riding buddies and arranged a two week trip for his protégé.

  But when Bird showed up, she wasn’t this gangly little middle schooler anymore. She was nineteen and had transformed into a woman with unrivaled beauty. Her time spent on the mountains all over the world had given her an untamed, natural allure that was fiercely captivating. Duke spent most of the trip threatening his friends every time one of them so much as glanced at her.

  His buddies did their best to show off but Lenny would match them, challenge for challenge. She had finally come into her own and Duke had nothing left to teach her.

  That’s where it had happened. That’s where Duke began to look at her with brand new eyes. She was wild and unstoppable and fearless. He admired her for her talent and strength and courage. And little by little, he allowed himself to fall in love with her, knowing that nothing could ever come of it. She saw him as an old man, and a friend. And Duke was content with that, feeling blessed to have her friendship, to be that close to a wildfire and not get burned.

  Duke had turned thirty during that trip to Alaska. He was in the prime of his physical riding career. But even at the top of his game, he took a little spill. He wrecked pretty majorly, cracking a couple ribs and getting bruised all to hell. Lenny had taken careful diligence to patch him back up, chewing him out the whole time for being reckless. He knew he would never forget the way her hands felt on his skin. Or how her hair fell past her face and tickled his bare chest as she leaned over to pack ice around his shoulder. He knew that was the closest that he’d ever get. And he had savored every second.

  His little confession the night before hadn’t come back up. He knew she hadn’t forgotten it, not with her perfect memory, but he didn’t want to talk about it anyway. He knew she needed someone that could offer her more than he could. He had accepted that years ago. He had risked his heart and his heart alone, he could deal with that.

  ***

  They crested the top of Lenny’s favorite ridge and she felt her heart beating faster and it wasn't just from the climb. The mountains opened up before her and she could see for miles.

  “I never get tired of that.” Duke breathed next to her. Lenny could only nod.

  He turned and waited for her to make the first move.

  “I don’t know if I can do this Duke.” Lenny was thinking about trying to convince him that it wasn’t time, she wasn’t ready.

  “This is how it’s going to work.” Duke was all business. “You're gonna strap in, then you’re gonna dig your chute, then you’re whole life is gonna change.”

  “How do you know?” Lenny was half stalling and half really wanting to know. “How do you know this is the answer?”

  “Lenny, you have to try,” he said gently. “I’ll be right here if anything goes wrong.”

  Lenny took a deep breath. She leveled off the space where she would start her line and looked down the mountainside. Her legs were trembling and her heart was racing. She looked at Duke, her eyes pleading for another way, but she knew she had to do it. Now that she was up there, she could feel an old persistence creeping up from her toes and making its way to her head.

  She had to go.

  She had to fly.

  She knew she was moving quickly but it felt like slow motion. She could feel the texture of the snow as it bent beneath her, carving a perfect path. She let go of all she had been holding back and images started to flash through her mind. Her fight with Shane, walking in on him and Cody getting dressed, the following argument. The initial crash, the slow process of recovery, fights with her parents, avoiding Shane, running away with Double Blind Study, Luke. Luke and his voice and his lips and his amazingly strong arms.

  She veered to the left, following her instincts, taking her line over a ridge and going airborne. The rush was intoxicating. It was better than she had remembered. She landed gracefully, fluidly. Her body a perfectly oiled machine, moving and adjusting with the terrain before her. She controlled her speed, enjoying every twist and edge. Her mind was finally starting to put things in order.

  This is where she belonged, out in the open. Free.

  Not the condescending “Freebird” that Cody and Shane had constantly called her which was more a ridicule than a nickname. No, more innocent than that. Duke had given her the nickname “Bird” the first time he met her. He compared her to a lark and would always quote lines from his favorite George Meredith poem to her while they hiked up to a new chute. As she went over another lip and caught even more air than before, his voice echoed through her mind

  He rises and begins to round,

  He drops the silver chain of sound

  Of many links without a break,

  In chirrup, whistle, slur and shake,

  All intervolved and spreading wide,

  Like water dimples down a tide

  Where ripple ripple overcurls

  And eddy into eddy whirls;

  A press of hurried notes that run

  So fleet they scarce are more than one,

  Yet changing-ly the trills repeat

  And linger ringing while they flee,…

  In that moment, as she seemed to hover in the air with Duke's voice echoing through her head and the images of what had happened flashed before her, she realized that it wasn't her fault. What Shane and Cody had done was their choice. She didn't earn their betrayal. The blame belonged on them. And it had been wrong for them to try to put it on her. But it had been even worse that she had allowed them to blame her.

  She allowed them to make her feel like she had no worth, like she was nothing. And she had started running, slowly at first and then gaining momentum with her decision to make that interview with Carl. She thought if she got far enough away, she'd stop feeling so trapped in her own weakness. But only facing the truth of what had happened could truly release her. She finally felt absolved of the guilt that had accompanied their disloyalty and vilification.

  Lenny landed safely again, nearly breathless. Her mind having been put right and finally at peace. She guided the board expertly to a stop and pushed her goggles up on her head.

  She could see Duke making his descent and she shook her head. He never followed her line. It was like an unspoken rule between them. They each had to find their own way. He came to the edge of a ridge she knew was too steep of a drop, that’s why she had avoided it.
She held her breath, hoping against her own gut that he wouldn’t go for it.

  “Sonofabitch…” Lenny muttered as Duke dropped off the ridge and out of view. She waited for a few seconds, her heart starting to thud in her chest. Suddenly, Duke sprang over a slope and raged down the rest of the mountain. Lenny breathed a sigh of relief.

  Duke came skidding to a stop right in front of her, huge grin plastered on his face.

  “Did you see that? Thought I was a goner for sure!” He yelled excitedly.

  “You scared me half to death!” Lenny yelled back, laughing.

  Duke disengaged his boots and scooped her up in a huge hug. She laughed freely as he swung her around. She hadn't forgotten how to fly after all.

  Chapter 13

  The Deepest Blues Are Black

  Lenny and Duke had been gone all day. It was only mid-afternoon but it might as well have been midnight with the way Luke's head was messing with him. He was trying really hard to be the rational, reasonable guy that his band mates knew and loved but having Lenny out in the wilderness with a man who was undoubtedly in love with her had pushed his rationality over a cliff.

  Jealously wasn't something that Luke had ever had to deal with. Not since high school anyway. He felt like an idiot. Even after Duke had all but given his blessing the night before, Luke still felt...tense.

  “Here they come.” Mike interrupted his brooding and nodded out the large windows facing the back of the house. Sure enough, two snowmobiles were pulling up out back.

  Lenny disembarked and said something to Duke before entering the house through the back door. Duke drove his sled towards the garage to put it away.

  “Hey guys!” Lenny's face was red from the cold and she had snow stuck in her hair. She took off her hat and gloves and started removing her coat.

  “How was it?” Harrison bounded across the room and jumped onto the back of the sofa, eager for the recap.

  Lenny laughed at him and Luke noticed that it was louder, more released than before. Her smile was wide and her face radiant. He thought she was beautiful before but this was a whole new experience.

  “It was...perfect.” Lenny giggled again and the guys exchanged puzzled smiles.

  Mike was the only one who seemed to not be surprised. He grinned broadly and wrapped her into a hug. Her arms encircled him in return and they shared a moment that Luke knew he'd never fully grasp.

  “So, what happens now?” Blake frowned and crossed his arms. “Are you leaving the tour or what?” Luke hadn't even considered that Lenny being able to return to snowboarding might mean her leaving their lives.

  “Of course not!” Lenny exclaimed as her hug with Mike ended. “You can't get rid of me that easily.” Her eyes swung over to Luke and she said a thousand different things to him with that one look. A recklessness burned on the edge of her irises and he realized that something in her had been awakened in the past few hours. It was a definite turn on.

  “But, I have to fill you in on a few...unsavory details of my life.” Lenny made a face as she entered the kitchen. “You guys hungry? I'm starving, I need nutrients.”

  The band gathered in the kitchen and Lenny fixed them up with sandwiches. Duke joined them after he had put the sleds away and Lenny calmly explained the details of her 'reckoning' as Duke had called it. The group absorbed the information and came to the same collective opinion. That Shane was the worst and Cody was the devil.

  Luke hoped that he and Lenny would have a second chance at their conversation from the night before. Having been filled in on the details of her relationship with Shane now Luke could absolutely see how the two didn't compare. He wasn't Shane, and he never would be. He needed to make sure that Lenny understood that.

  “This probably changes a lot of things about Aspen.” Sway stated the obvious.

  “I still have to go.” Lenny threw a towel at Duke when he rolled his eyes. “Contractual obligations. But I would still love it if you guys all joined me.” She looked around at them hopefully.

  “Of course we’ll be there, mama.” Blake grinned mischievously.

  “Absolutely.” Sway agreed, linking eyes with Blake and mirroring his smile.

  “Are we gonna have a talk with Shane?” Harrison asked, noticing his friends weird behavior.

  “You’re awesome at subtly, you know that?” Blake closed his eyes in frustration.

  “What?” Harrison asked, perplexed.

  “Are you coming too?” Luke directed at Duke.

  “Nah, you guys got this. I hate it up there, too many people.”

  Luke inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. While he respected Duke and his position in Lenny’s life he couldn’t help but feel like Duke’s presence would keep he and Lenny from getting any closer.

  ***

  They packed their bags that night and got ready to depart for the weekend in Aspen. Duke would drive them all to the airport early the next morning. Lenny was actually looking forward to the trip now, her conscience clear and her mind focused. Shane and Cody may have held her back in the beginning but she had chosen to stay there. Now she was back.

  She stood in her room looking out over the dark mountains being lit by the moon. She stretched her tight muscles and closed her eyes. She started when she heard someone in the doorway. It was Duke, again. He looked a little more friendly than he had the night before in the garage.

  “You always did have the best view up here.” He nodded out the large, wall sized windows.

  Lenny smiled, walking over to her bed and sitting on the edge. She motioned with her head for Duke to join her. She saw him consider it for a moment before relenting and sitting down.

  “When you coming back?” Duke asked softly.

  “We have to leave for London right after Aspen.”

  “So, you’re still gonna be the assistant?”

  “Yeah, for now. It’s really fun.” Lenny’s voice got wistful. “And they’re really good guys, I like being there for them.”

  “You’ve always been a good friend.” Duke looked down at his hands and then back out the window.

  “I’ll come home after that.” Lenny leaned her shoulder against his, sensing his melancholy mood.

  “You don’t have to promise anything right now. Things can still change between now and then.” Duke pointed out.

  Lenny let out a heavy sigh, Duke was right. Anything could happen she supposed.

  “I’ll call you.” She decided to promise instead.

  Duke chuckled. “Good. That’ll be nice.”

  The silence became comfortable, like it always did between them. She felt him take a deep breath and he put an arm around her. She eased into his embrace and closed her eyes.

  “For singing till his heaven fills,

  ‘T is love of earth that he instills,

  And ever winging up and up,

  Our valley is his golden cup,

  And he the wine which overflows

  To lift us with him as he goes…”

  Duke's deep voice reciting his favorite poem to her, the poem he had given to her when she was still a child, along with all the heavy emotions they had shared with one another over the past few days, it was almost enough to make her heartbeat stop. He did love her. She had no doubts.

  “Thank you, Duke.” She whispered into his chest.

  “For what?” Duke grunted.

  “For never giving up on me.” Lenny said quietly.

  ***

  Duke didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything. He was content to hold her until she had fallen asleep. He picked up her resting body and placed it carefully on the bed, pulling a blanket over her bare arms. He stared down at her, wanting to be the one who could...just wanting to be the one.

  Duke walked down the steps slowly and made his way to his room. He crawled into his own bed in the dark and listened to the quiet of the house. He enjoyed living alone but he would miss Lenny desperately.

  Part of him hoped that she and Luke would run off and get marri
ed in Europe and never come home. All he ever wanted was for her to have an unending adventure. He knew that Luke could offer all of that and so much more. Besides, Luke was totally in love with her. She would be safe with him.

  ***

  Spinning around quickly, Lenny shoved the last of her clothes in the dresser in her suite. She knew she only had a few minutes before the band showed up at her room and she really didn't want to be unpacking her underwear in front of them. She slid the empty duffel into the closet just as there was a knock on her door.

  Her loud and rowdy group entered the room with more fanfare than was necessary but it still made her smile.

  “Check out the view you have!” Sway whistled as he flopped himself onto her bed.

  “See? I told you.” Harrison said to Blake. “Her room is always better than ours.”

  “And I told you it’s because she’s better than us.” Blake replied.

  “And I told both of you to knock it off.” Lenny reprimanded with a smile.

  The view was pretty stunning. Buttermilk Mountain had been turned into a phenomenal course for the Winter X games. Hundreds of people had worked tirelessly on it for weeks now, constructing the perfect place for one of the most exciting competitions in the world. Thousands of pounds of snow had been moved and rearranged to create both ideal and difficult terrain for the athletes.

  Lenny and the guys had been some of the first to arrive. She had a room to herself but the guys split three rooms between them. She wasn’t sure how that worked out and didn’t ask.