Learn to Fly

by Heidi Hutchinson

  Luke had his hands in his pockets and stood regarding her carefully. They still hadn't had a moment alone together since their last very tense conversation. She felt heat creep up her neck as his blue eyes flicked up and down the length of her. She couldn't stand the wall that seemed to be between them and she impulsively threw her arms around his neck.

  His arms wrapped around her immediately and he buried his face in her neck letting out a small groan, “I missed you.”

  “I missed you back,” she whispered in his ear.

  “Um, do you guys want to be alone?” Blake interrupted from behind her.

  Luke let her go and smiled crookedly. Lenny rolled her eyes at Blake and readjusted her hoodie as she turned around.

  She walked to the dresser and grabbed their VIP passes she had gotten from Patrick and passed them out. “These will get you into all the events and the VIP tent.” She stepped back and put her hands in her back pockets as she further explained. “I have X Fest today and tomorrow. Patrick stacked my schedule to appease as many sponsors as possible. I have two interviews today, an hour in the autograph booth and a demo. You guys can have free reign, just don’t embarrass me.” She added with a grin, she knew they would be amazing, she had no doubts. Not even about Sway.

  Her phone made a ‘chirp’ noise and she picked it up off the dresser glancing at the screen. It was Cody, wondering if she was here yet. Lenny put the phone in her pocket without bothering to reply.

  “Hey, when do we get to meet Shane?” Harrison asked from his corner.

  “In a perfect world, never. But chances are he’s lurking around here somewhere. He’s kind of a media whore.” Lenny replied sourly.

  “We’re famous, too,” Sway pointed out.

  “Not as famous as he is in this place,” Lenny countered. “Why do you want to meet him at all?”

  “No reason.” Blake elbowed Harrison before he could reply.

  Lenny rolled her eyes, “Just don’t get into any trouble.” She moved toward the door, “C’mon, let's go see who is here before I have get to work.”

  They hung out in the VIP lounge for a couple hours, rubbing shoulders with sportscasters, celebrities and the best athletes in the world. The band knew a lot of the people there and it was sort of a mini reunion. They visited with other artists who also happened to be fans of the X Games and made fast friends of those they didn’t already know.

  Nearly everyone was surprised to see Lenny, she had been notably absent in the last two years. She was hugged and high-fived and congratulated on returning to the sport. She downplayed the accolades and didn’t really explain the reason for her attendance.

  Her first interview only wanted her to talk about how exciting the Games were so far and who she thought would do the best today. She smiled and answered honestly, complimenting all the talent that she had witnessed so far. Fans had started to gather around the media tent, her appearance causing a stir.

  When the interviewer announced Lenny was heading to the autograph booth next, the crowd moved in a wave that direction. Lenny always like this part, she enjoyed talking to fans and taking pictures with them. Especially the kids. She signed photos and passed them to fans, deflecting questions about her return to the sport. Some people had her sign their equipment or had even brought posters from home. She was more than happy to accommodate them all, posing for pictures and giving hugs.

  Afterward, she headed back to the VIP lounge to see her friends. All of them were busy enjoying themselves and she felt good about that. Lenny had been worried they might not fit it but realized that was a ridiculous assumption. They fit in anywhere.

  Luke approached her, looking bothered. She frowned at his worried expression.

  “What’s up?” She asked him, wondering when they would ever have a quiet moment alone together again.

  “I just talked to a guy from…I don’t know, some sports thing. And he said that your next interview will have Shane there.” He eyed her warily.

  Lenny’s stomach gurgled uncomfortably. She knew she would have to deal with him eventually so this wasn’t that big of a surprise. She just didn’t want to do it on national television. Typical Shane, still trying to intimidate her into shutting up. She wouldn't be surprised if he had arranged it like this, he loved attention.

  “I’m glad you told me.” Lenny smirked. “That would’ve been a shock.”

  “Maybe you can get out of it. Fake food poisoning or something.” Luke was trying to be helpful but Lenny knew this was something she needed to do. She was angry with him for what he'd done. Her fire was back and she was looking forward to giving Shane a good burn.

  “No.” She shook her head at Luke's suggestion. “Thanks. But I think I got this.”

  She turned on her heel and strode back to the media tents, prepared to give the interview of a lifetime.

  ***

  It was long ago and far away, but for Lenny, the memory crept back to her most vividly. She had been fourteen when she had first lain on eyes on the smoldering hunk of athleticism that was Shane Brookings. He was four years her senior, but had dominated the half-pipe circuit for the better part of his short career. Tall, with wide, strong shoulders and rippling muscles, he looked too large to be so agile on a snowboard, yet he moved with a seductive fluidity. His strength carrying him to record breaking heights and crossing boundaries of flight. His square jaw and perfectly unshaven stubble gave him a roguish appearance that made girls swoon.

  Lenny made it her purpose to show up on his radar. It took a few years, she was just a kid to him in the beginning but after her trip to the back country of Alaska she gained a little more media attention and Shane took notice. They flirted off and on for a couple of years, creating speculation in the sports world about them having super beautiful athletic babies. And then one day it happened. Shane decided he had to have her.

  Looking back, Lenny realized there were several warning signs. Shane was always way into his own body, constantly working out and taking offers to pose half naked for whatever magazine wanted him. He would flirt shamelessly with every pretty girl who walked by, Lenny wrote it off to him having an outgoing personality. Just a few weeks into them dating and Shane started to get weirdly controlling about who Lenny could and could not talk to. She got an offer from Sports Illustrated to be in their swimsuit issue and Shane had pitched a fit. She turned it down to appease him but then Cody had swooped in and taken the gig. Lenny should have caught on right away. But she’d never been in a relationship so she really had nothing to compare it to.

  Lenny knew it was unusual by the world’s standards to be a twenty-three year old virgin, but she’d been busy having a life and never really thought about having sex. It was there, in the back of her mind, she just assumed that when it was time she would know. Completely confident in every decision she’d made in her life thus far, it was normal for her.

  So when Shane had started to pressure her into having sex the night before her biggest run in her career, Lenny balked at the idea.

  “No, I’m not ready for that step. And besides, I don’t want a big distraction in my head for tomorrow.”

  They were sitting in her room, a small dorm-sized bedroom with two sets of bunks. She and Cody were roommates with two other girls who had recently left because they had won their medals and wanted to go home. Shane had started to make more frequent visits to her room to make-out.

  “C’mon, it’ll make you do even better tomorrow.” He whispered in her ear as his hand traveled from her knee up her thigh.

  Lenny shoved his hand away and stood up. She was not liking this side of Shane at all.

  “There’s no way for you to know that.” She frowned. “I don’t want to, it’s not a discussion.”

  Shane put on his best puppy-dog face, trying again.

  “Please, baby, you’re just so hot I can hardly keep my hands off you.” He stood up and pulled her close against his body. “I want you so bad and I love you so much.” He started kissing her neck. />
  Lenny shoved him away from her. “Knock it off. I’m serious, Shane.” She crossed her arms and her frown deepened. “This isn’t happening.”

  Shane's face shifted to affronted and he put his hands on his hips, scowling at Lenny. She stood firm, not sure what to expect.

  “What the hell, Lenny? What’s your problem?” He barked, all sweetness leaving him.

  Lenny narrowed her eyes.“I’m pretty sure I’m not the one with the problem.” She grabbed her jacket and slipped it on.

  “Where are you going?” He demanded, grabbing a hold of her arm.

  She twisted free as she yanked open the door. “To get some fresh air, I suggest you do the same.”

  She left in a huff, slamming the door behind her. Lenny stalked though the Village, calming down quickly. She ran into a few Olympians she had just met that week and they invited her to join them for their evening activities. She relaxed in the fun atmosphere watching other events and competitors. She was feeling in a much better mood when she went back to her room to get rested before her own run the next day.

  She opened the door and stopped in her tracks. Her voice stuck in her chest as her eyes that never missed anything viewed the heart wrenching scene before her.

  Cody's toned and tanned body was only in a bra and panties and she was hastily yanking a shirt over her head. Shane was in his boxers and pulling his jeans up. Their faces were flushed and they were still breathing heavy. They must have just…finished… Lenny felt her stomach turn as her brain tried to wrap around this blatant betrayal.

  She finally found her voice. It sounded strange and angry in her own ears. She wondered what it sounded like to them.

  “You have got to be kidding me.” She stood still in the doorway, not wanting to enter the room and have to feel the remnants of their recent passions.

  “What did you expect?” Cody glared at her, running her fingers through her caramel colored tresses to smooth out the tousle they'd just been through. “You’re such an effing tease. I’m just glad I could be there to fill in. Didn’t come in second this time.” She said smugly.

  Lenny’s eyes widened at her friends words. “You’re not seriously suggesting that this is okay?”

  “Calm down, Lenny. Don’t make a big deal out of this.” Shane talked to her like she was child as he pulled his shirt over his head.

  “Don’t make a big deal? Are you serious?” Her voice was starting to get louder and people walking by in the hallway were taking notice. A small crowd started to gather a few feet away, listening in.

  “I needed a release, I gave you first dibs, and you declined. I found it somewhere else. You shouldn’t be mad about this. This is what you wanted, isn't it?” Shane taunted.

  “You’re an asshole!” Was all Lenny could get out. She was losing her resolve and starting to crumble. She couldn’t believe what they had just done but what was even harder to swallow is that they were defending themselves.

  “I told Shane that you guys would probably never have sex.” Cody said haughtily. “That you have a hard time showing love. That you’re broken.” She let her words dig in. “But don’t worry friend, I'm always happy to help out.”

  Lenny was going to be sick. She could feel the bile rising in her esophagus and swallowed hard to push it down. It didn’t work; she ran to the bathroom a short distance down the hall. She locked the door behind her and wretched into the toilet. Then she sat down on the floor and cried.

  It had always been hard for Lenny to make friends. With three older brothers she had gotten along with guys better. Girls tended to not like her. It didn’t bother her too much, she had always had Cody. But now…Tears ran down her face, uncontrolled. She had never felt so alone in her life. Her family wasn’t allowed in the Village and Duke was on an expedition and couldn’t be reached. She had no one.

  Their words had done more than stung. Lenny had always feared in the back of her mind that maybe romantic love wasn’t something in her future. What if Cody was right? What if she was broken?

  That week had been the worst of Lenny’s whole life. She crashed the next day, allowing Cody to take gold and propel her into superstardom. The recovery from the accident had been slow. Shane and Cody kept coming around, trying to see if she remembered what they had done. Apparently they weren’t feeling as secure in their lusty decisions after the fact. Lenny’s confidence was sapped. She couldn’t even rely on her own body to take her where she wanted to go. She decided to focus on recovery, hoping Cody and Shane would tire of the daily torture and leave her alone.

  As she made progress, Shane used her accident as another way to be in the spotlight. He was constantly giving interviews about her well-being and their future together. It didn’t take too many weeks of that before Lenny understood why he was in a relationship with her in the first place. It looked good. It made him look even more attractive, he was using her to stay visible. No appeal remained for her to return to snowboarding.

  Two years flew by. Shane moved to Wyoming, he wanted to move into the Lodge but his condition was that Duke move out. Lenny declined that idea. She was getting so tired of him. Getting sick of all the fake ‘I love yous’ and empty gestures. She could feel herself growing colder and more distant with everyone around her. Her atmosphere was suffocating her and she started to fear she would die if she didn’t leave.

  Snowboarding was more than a sport for Lenny. It had been an extension of herself. It offered a freedom that other sports lacked. Her brothers said that it was her rebellious nature finding a home. It made her feel limitless and challenged. She hated the rules and propriety of growing up in an upper class family. Snowboarding gave her an outlet, a way to express love, rage, passion and grief. The mountain had been her canvas, the board her brush. Losing her confidence in that had been devastating. She was afraid that she would never feel at peace with herself again.

  Not anymore. She was back, and her nonconformity had been stifled for too long. She had some catching up to do.

  Lenny smirked to herself as she entered the media tent, instantly drawing attention to herself. She smiled politely at the staff, shaking hands and exchanging greetings. A little gal came over and fitted her with a mic and showed her which chair to sit in.

  “Wow, you’re even pretty up close.” The girl giggled nervously, Lenny just smiled, remembering how graciously the guys dealt with the attention they received wherever they went and aimed to appear as comfortable as they always did.

  She sat in the chair she was directed to and Brad, the interviewer, engaged her in small talk while they waited for Shane. She and Brad had been on good terms since she had started to gain attention in her early teens. He was apprised of all her success and failures and knew her family relatively well, too. That was the thing about sportscasters, they stuck around the industry for a long time and made friends. It gave them better interviews.

  “There’s been quite a bit of pressure on me to ask you some hard questions ever since it was announced you were going to be here.” Brad said, testing Lenny’s reaction.

  “You can ask me anything you want, Brad.” Lenny replied with a sincere smile, hoping he'd get the hint.

  Brad’s eyebrows went up at the open door invitation. Normally, a celebrity such as Lenny would have limits or guidelines set up at the beginning of the interview. He smiled with intrigue at her unflinching response.

  Lenny’s attention was drawn to the flurry of activity coming towards her. Shane Brookings entered the tent and flashed everyone his dazzling smile. The mic girl got so flustered she forgot her job and blushed a deep maroon. Lenny hadn’t seen Shane since the day before she'd had her interview with Carl. He looked good. Not great, but good.

  He approached Lenny and Brad and coolly took his seat. He had kept his dark hair trimmed short and had grown a nice goatee that showed off his angular jaw. He was tall, well over six feet, his large, muscular frame engulfing the chair he sat in. His eyes were pools of amber that glinted in the sunlight that peeked throu
gh the seams of the tent.

  “I wasn’t sure you’d show.” He raised an eyebrow at Lenny, obviously surprised to see her.

  Lenny didn’t reply, she just smiled politely and faced Brad.

  “So let’s begin,” Brad got the ball rolling, turning to speak into the camera. “Today at the Winter X-Games we have snowboarding’s elite, the sweethearts of the sport. Lenny Evans, eight time X-Games gold medalist, once the darling of big mountain riding and Shane Brookings, reigning World Champion in the Half Pipe and current Olympic gold medalist. Also, snowboarding’s most eligible bachelor. The world thought you two were going to get married and ride off into the sunset on Burton’s newest design but that hasn’t happened. How long since you’ve seen each other?”

  “She left me about six months ago.” Shane answered quickly, not looking in Lenny’s direction.

  “That’s true, I did.” Lenny nodded, keeping her face flat.

  “Have you left the sport entirely?” Brad directed at Lenny.

  “I thought I had, but I may be making a comeback.” She smiled coyly.

  She noticed Shane tense up next to her. So did Brad.

  “What do you think about that, Shane?”

  “I think…that’s a pretty big decision and she should probably take it easy.” He chuckled nervously. “I mean, she had a pretty major wreck, it might take a while for her to get back to the level she was at.”

  “Oh, I’m just as good as I always was.” Lenny answered, relaxed and confident, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

  “Is that why you guys decided to call it quits, difference of opinion?” Brad questioned, his eyebrows bobbing up and down.

  “Yeah, sort of,” Lenny answered before Shane could. “I should’ve ended it years ago. He had the opinion that it was okay to sleep with my best friend and my opinion was that it was wrong.” She was laying the sarcasm on pretty thick and saw Brad swallow his grin.

  She looked to Shane to voice his opinion on the matter and he was obviously blindsided. He started stuttering, trying to come up with something to counter Lenny’s words. But nothing would come out.