Hold On, Pain Ends

by Shyla Colt

  “I’m going to miss you guys. It’ll be too quiet in the house,” Birdie replied.

  Rocket and Harley giggled.

  “Oh, you can come and visit my little noise makers anytime,” Ardy said stepping back.

  Birdie went onto one knee and opened her arms for hugs. She squeezed too tightly, grateful for the time she’d gotten to spend with them. This Aunt thing is right up my alley. “I’ll come and visit you guys as much as I can.”

  “But you’re not going to your home far away, right?” Rocket asked.

  “Right. I’ll be fifteen minutes away, not far at all.”

  “Good, cause we like you, Aunt Birdie,” Harley stated.

  “And I like you too,” she said, standing. The longer she remained, the harder it got.

  “Give Ara a kiss for me when she wakes,” Birdie instructed.

  Ardy nodded her head. “I will. Call me if you need anything.”

  “I will.”

  “I mean it B. Don’t take this all on yourself. Back home, you had a team of people working with you. This is you solo. Not to mention, you love Dana…It makes a huge difference.”

  Yes, it does. “I’ll be fine, Clue is helping me. If it gets to be too much, I’ll let you know before I lose it. I learned not to bottle everything up. Still working on blaming myself, but that’s that good old-fashioned Catholic guilt instilled in us.”

  Ardy snickered. “I hear you. I have to say though, it saved my ass more times than I can count too.”

  Birdie nodded. She couldn’t do this job without her faith. It soothed her thinking of the patients who’d been in pain and a state of disappear somewhere healthy, whole, and full of joy. “We’re ridiculous, I’m moving fifteen minutes away. Before I was a three day’s drive.”

  “I know, it’s been so nice having you here though. I didn’t realize how much I missed my family until I actually got to spend time with you again, for more than a few days.”

  “Trust me I miss you. Having Carilyn there is like…having another child. I don’t understand why she’s so hell bent on doing everything the hard way.”

  Ardy shook her head. “I wish I could tell you. I’m not sure if she rebels because she feels she has no choices in life, or she rebels because she thinks it’s cool. But twenty something is too old to be a hot mess.”

  “I tried to tell her, but you know I was never cool enough to really listen to. That was always you.”

  Ardy scoffed. “I don’t know why. I was never worried about the things she is.”

  “Yeah, but you were our big sister, and we all looked up to you.”

  Ardy glanced away and shifted her weight. “I wish I had given you guys a better example. If it wasn’t for Demon, I would’ve stayed in the bar, and never left town. It scares me how easily I almost ended up as some bitter, unsatisfied old maid. There was no one in the town I was interested in seeing seriously, and work was all I really knew. In my mind, I’d stick it out until Killian got finished with high school at least. I felt like I owed you all that much.”

  “Why, Ard? You weren’t the parent.”

  “No, but I was the oldest, and that meant I was in charge when Mom and Da’ couldn’t be. It warped me a bit. Since I’ve been here, I can see things differently. I think you were the same.”

  “It’s true. Our world is so small there. Then you get out and it’s like…freedom. Does that sound horrible?” Birdie asked quietly.

  “Not at all. I get it. Did you tell Mom and Dad about your…change in relationship status?”

  “God no. One major hurdle at a time. It can wait until my care of Dana ends. I want to give her my undivided attention.”

  “You’re amazing, Birdie. Seriously. Dedicating your life to serving others like this. I couldn’t do it.”

  Birdie smiled. “You already have, to three little someones.”

  Ardy grinned. “Love you sister.”

  “Love you too sister,” Birdie said as she turned to leave, feeling like she was leaving a warm haven full of light to walk down a long, dark hallway. She’d seen the strain illness could leave on a couple. She could only pray the two of them would come out on the other side, stronger than before.

  An hour later, she spun slowly in the large room. It was strange seeing their things co-mingled. Her brush on his dresser, his jeans in the closet next to hers. It gave her a cozy feeling that scared the shit out of her. Everything was too easy. Part of her couldn’t help but wait for the other shoe to fall. Stop being so negative.

  “Everything okay?” Clue asked from the doorway.

  “Yeah, just taking it all in. How’s Dana?”

  “She’s good, resting right now. I made sure she took her meds on time earlier. Why don’t you get some rest, while I head to the store and stock up.”

  “If you’re sure?”

  “Yeah, babe.” He stepped close and cupped her face with his hand. “I know I’ve been on edge lately. I’m sorry about that. You mean everything to me, and I don’t want you doubting that for one second. Just—this shit with my mom has me twisted up.” He rested his forehead against hers.

  “I know babe. I’m here for you,” she whispered.

  “You are, and that means everything to me. Fuck, I’m still not sure what I did to deserve you.”

  “The feeling is mutual. Part of me is waiting for you to reveal some fucked up secret to balance out the perfect.”

  “Perfect? Babe, I’m so far from perfect, it’s laughable.”

  “Not to me,” she said honestly.

  He buried his fingers in her hair and pulled it tight.

  Her blood sang. Maybe now. She’d been waiting for him to take her properly. She didn’t understand his hesitation. IF she were any more primed for fucking, she’d be guiding him in with light sticks. She bit his lip, cherishing his moan. She sucked his tongue into her mouth and trailed her fingers down his sides, massaging his chest and pinching his nipples. She trailed her nails down his stomach and abandoned his lips to nip her way down his neck. She paused to suck at his pulse point.

  “Jesus, Birdie.”

  She reached down and undid his belt buckle. “Nigel?”

  “Yeah, babe.”

  “I’m going to need you to fuck me.”

  He froze.

  She pulled away. “You don’t want to?” Thoughts of her past ran through her mind. “What the hell is going on?” she asked, refusing to be the naïve woman who waited patiently trusting in her man.

  “Don’t you get it? I want to do it right with you.”

  “I get that I’m wet and aching on a daily basis, and all the things we do doesn’t satisfy me fully. I’m dreaming about you filling me, making me yours one hundred-percent.” She cupped his dick. “I know you want it to.” She squeezed and he jerked. “This doesn’t lie.”

  “I didn’t want to do it like this,” Clue said stepping back and disentangling himself from her.

  “Do what?” she asked.

  He knelt in front of her and reached into his cut. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I want every motherfucker who comes within a mile of you to know you’re taken. I want to put this on your finger and my name on your body. I wanted to do this shit romantic and thoughtful. But I saw the doubt in your eyes and I couldn’t hold off. I promised you I’d never give you reason to doubt me.” He opened up a velvet case.

  Birdie gasped at the kite engagement ring that had to be at least a carrot.

  “It belonged to my grandmother. She and my grandfather met in high school and married at eighteen. They never spent a day apart and never fell out of love. That’s the legacy I want to leave behind with you, if you’ll let me.”

  “Yes, oh my God.” She hadn’t seen this coming.

  He slid the ring on her finger. “You still pissed at me for waiting?”

  She shook her head from side to side, not bothering to hide her tears.

  He kissed her ring finger and stood. “Now, how about I give you something to tide you over.”


  “How soon until we’re married?” she asked breathlessly.

  “Up to you babe. But I want my mom to be there for it, so near future.”

  “Fuck, let’s elope,” she rasped.

  “You sure that’s not your pussy talking?”

  “No, that’s my, I remember how it was for Ardy and I don’t want it talking. Nor does your mother need it,” she managed to say between kisses. He rolled his hips into her and she whimpered.

  “J-justice of the peace. Fancy wedding later,” she stated in a weak voice. “You, me, your mom, Ardy and her family.”

  He popped her top button and eased his hand inside her jeans.

  She gasped. “Oh…”

  “Sounds good babe. I’ll set it up. Now, let’s scratch that itch you have.” He thrust two thick fingers inside her and she cried out. “That’s what I want to hear,” he whispered into her ear. He circled her walls and she flexed her muscles, going up on her tiptoes to get a better angle.

  Panting, she rocked onto his fingers. The wet sound of his fingers pounding inside her and her high from the proposal sent her flying over the edge. She bit his shoulder to keep from screaming as she shattered.

  CLUE

  “Hey Mom, we have a surprise for you today. Are you ready to get out and about?” he asked.

  “For me?” she asked.

  Her face light up and he caught a glimpse of the vivacious woman she’d once been. It pained him seeing her so thin and fragile looking. “I can’t say, you might guess,” he replied offering her his hands. She took them both and he leaned back, helping her off the couch.

  “Do I need to change?” she asked taking in her comfortable sweat pants and long sleeved t-shirt.

  “Nope, you’re perfect as you are.”

  Fall was yielding to winter and the chill seemed to settle into her bones. They did their best to keep her warm and comfortable without melting themselves in the condo. She leaned her slight weight on him and he wrapped his arm around her. Birdie walked out of the room they shared and he smiled. His future wife had held him together at the seams when he felt like falling apart. She took care of his mother with a loving devotion that amazed him. Nurses were so over looked in society. In a world of indulgence and self-involved behavior, they were made of something different. Pride swelled his chest.

  She gave him a sweet smile and he took in her white dress. The simple lace number fell a few inches above her knee and showed off tantalizing glimpses of her shoulders and arms. He wore his newest pair of slacks, a white t-shirt, and his cut. Dressing up any more than that would tip his mother off. They’d agreed to do the big wedding later. Much later.

  “Are you ready?” he asked.

  She grinned. “I’ve been ready.”

  They shared a knowing look, and headed out the door. The Club leant them a SUV to transport his mother and everything they needed for her comfort. He opened the door and helped her step up into the front seat. Once she was settled, he covered her legs with the blankets they carried with them. He watched her struggle to breathe and glanced away. Each day he woke up, afraid to see if she’d deteriorated more in the night.

  Right now, she was holding steady where she was. But he knew it was a matter of time. He pushed the morbid thoughts aside. Sometimes the only way to deal and stay sane was to not think about the inevitable. He opened the back door for Birdie, and she ran her hand down his arms. She knew. No matter how I try to hide the pain, she sees it. He cupped the back of her neck and squeezed.

  I’m getting married. This is supposed to be a happy day. She was giving up a lot, agreeing to go the justice of the peace route with him. He refused to completely taint her day with sadness. She got into the car and he tapped the roof with his knuckles before he walked around to the driver’s side.

  “What do you two have up your sleeve?” his mother asked.

  “You’ll see, Mom,” he answered.

  “You’re getting a big kick out of this aren’t you?” she grumbled. His mother was not an easy person to surprise.

  “Oh, yeah. For once, you get to be the one in the dark,” he teased, keeping things light.

  “Are you really going to hold all the things I surprised you with against me? It was awesome.”

  “I agree, but it feels good to be on the opposite end for once. Every time I tried to surprise you, you’d end up figuring it out.”

  “I hate to break it to you honey, but most men don’t excel at stealth.”

  “What? I disagree. That’s my trade.”

  “Online. Face to face is a different ballgame, right, B?” his mother asked.

  Birdie laughed. “I see both sides,” she said diplomatically.

  His mother laughed, loudly. “Oh, I do adore you!”

  The mode in the car was jovial as he turned on the music and they lapsed into a soothing silence. He pulled into the courthouse parking lot.

  His mother perked up. “Are you guys doing what I think you’re doing?” she whispered.

  “I don’t know, what do you think we’re doing?” he asked.

  “Getting married,” his mother said, barely containing her excitement.

  “You’re right.”

  “Damn, I never thought I’d see the day,” she whispered. Her eyes glazed over slightly as she drifted away. “I knew the minute I met, Birdie she was special.”

  “So did I. Come on, let’s get in there, our appointment is in about twenty minutes,” Clue urged.

  They’d planned ahead, filled out their paper work and booked their day. They seated his mom, turned everything in, and played the waiting game.

  Ardy and Demon walked in with the kids in tow.

  “You made it,” Birdie said standing.

  “Of course I did. You look beautiful,” Ardy said hugging her sister.

  “Congrats man,” Demon said. With his daughter, Ara in his arms and Harley holding his hand, the fearsome leader looked almost normal.

  “Thanks, Pres,” Clue replied.

  “They should be calling us back any minute now,” Birdie informed them.

  “You excited to see him get hitched, Dana?” Demon asked his mother.

  “Very. I wasn’t sure this was going to happen. There’s a lot of his father in him. Hell, there’s a lot of me too,” Dana gushed.

  Demon laughed. “I’ll agree with that.”

  “Are these for me?” Birdie asked.

  Clue glanced over at Rocket and smiled as the boy handed her a bouquet of white Lilies.

  “Yep,” Rocket said.

  “Thank you,” Birdie said taking them and kissing his cheek.

  His face turned red.

  “You didn’t have to do this.” Birdie turned to Ardy.

  “Yes, I did. This is your special day. Even if we’re the only ones who’ll know until you plan the big wedding, you should have things to remember it by. The base is decorated with the ribbon from my wedding, so you have something borrowed. Do you have something Blue?”

  “Yep, I got that covered along with something new,” Birdie said mischievously.

  Clue’s interest rose. He raked his gaze over her body and came to a conclusion that whatever she had was under her dress. His cock hardened.

  “What about something old?” Ardy asked.

  “The ring was my grandmother’s,” Dana answered.

  As they conversed around him, time seemed too slow. I’m fucking getting married. It was a surreal moment. Here surrounded by family and friends, it seemed perfect. He’d never been one who craved the spotlight, so this suited him fine. He also wasn’t looking forward to dealing with in-laws. Her dad was a real piece of work, and he already felt slighted by the Dueling Devils. His response to the engagement had been bad enough. He’d flipped, threatening to come to New Mexico and bring her home.

  In the end, Clue had grabbed the phone and set him straight. They were getting married whether he liked it or not. They’d prefer his blessing, but it wasn’t required, and he wouldn’t let anyone talk to
Birdie like that. Pat had delivered a few choice words and hung up. Things had been strained between him and Birdie since. He knew he had some fences to mend, to keep his woman happy, but right now, all his energy was invested in his mother.

  What felt like an eternity later, they were walking back to a private area with a kind, stout man named Marco. The brown-skinned man had an easy smile, and catchy charisma. “I see you guys have a lot of support with you today. I like to see that. If you’re ready to begin, I’ll ask that you face one another, and those who have the rings to stand beside you.”

  They all got into position. His heart pounded in his chest, not due to fear, but his worry that she’d see how much better she could do. He took her hand and lost himself in the brown of her eyes. She was his other half without a doubt. He’d been Catholic his entire life, and while he believed in God, his faith had been sorely tested over the past few years. Here with Birdie, he knew she was sent to help him get through saying goodbye to his mother. He repeated the vows, slipping the simple band studded with diamonds onto her finger.

  She slid the black tungsten ring that was shaped like a motorcycle wheel onto his finger.

  “I know pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

  He tangled his fingers into her wild curls, dipped her and devoured her lips. No more holding back or stopping before he plunged inside her where he wanted to be most. They parted breathing heavily and his heated gaze told her…Tonight, you’re mine.

  “May I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Nigel Gibson,” Marco announced.

  Cheers went up, but all he could see was the woman in front of him.

  Ardy had agreed to stay with his mother while they went to a hotel. Demon had purchased them the honeymoon suite at a swank place downtown.

  “We have a hotel room all to ourselves tonight courtesy of Demon, Mrs. Gibson. Surprise,” he whispered into her ear.

  Birdie shuddered and shot him a look so full of lust and longing, he damn near came in his pants.

  Tonight would be one he would remember as long as he lived.

  ~* * *~

  The hotel suite was jaw dropping. High ceilings, a massive King sized bed with gold and beige bedding that stood out against the dark wood it was made of. Curtains of the same theme covered a massive window that would give them a view of the city. A walk in hot tub sat on the far side of the room. He registered all of this as he stepped inside, and dismissed it in the same instance. His attention was on the woman in front of him.