Hold On, Pain Ends

by Shyla Colt

  Birdie turned to him and raked her gaze over his body.

  His cock strained against his jeans. She’d come a long way from the inexperienced woman, shy about her body and sex. Her lips quirked up and he saw her as the temptress she’d become.

  “I don’t even know where to start,” she whispered.

  “Wherever you want,” he said.

  “Let’s get you out of this,” she said tugging gently on his cut.

  He allowed her to take off his cut. His gaze followed her lush form as she walked to the closet and hung it up, respecting it in a way that humbled him. She fucking gets it.

  She returned and walked over to him toying with the collar of his shirt. “For months you’ve tormented me with your touches, tasting, and toys. You have a lot to live up to Mr. Gibson.”

  “You doubting me already?” he asked, palming her ass with both hands. He lifted her up, rubbing her against the bulge in his pants.

  “Ahhh....” She threw her head back, and wrapped a leg around him grinding against him.

  The friction had his dick dripping pre-come. He wanted to rip off her dress, get her on all fours and pound her pussy into she came begging for release. He clamped down his base instincts and leaned forward, sucking her nipples through the lace. The rough material contrasted with the heated flesh below. She whimpered and he bit down gently. Her body twitched. He released her and grabbed the edge of her dress. She lifted her arms and he eased the delicate material up her body marveling at the sight of her curves. Her panties were a light blue thong that said bride in rhinestones. “I can smell you from here babe. You want it so bad.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “I have to make sure you’re ready.” He tossed the dress over a chair and kissed his way down her body, teasing her belly button with the tip of her tongue. Her whimpers and sighs fueled him. He wanted to make this good for her. She put up with so much and loved him so hard. He knew how lucky he’d gotten. “I’m going to show you how much I appreciate you and this body.” He cupped her ass and buried his nose in her crotch, inhaling deeply. “You smell so fucking good.” He licked her slit through her panties, teasing her. She widened her legs and he chuckled, flicking her clit.

  She buried her fingers in his hair.

  The scrap of her nails against this scalp made him groan. He moved her panties to the side and licked a path up her slip.

  “Yes, Nigel. Make me come.”

  Her words were music to his ears. Seeing her so open and free turned his dick to stone. He could never erase the scars left behind by Adrian, but he could diminish their effects. He circled, sucked and flicked her clit until she was pushing her pussy in his face. He plunged his stiff tongue into her slickness. Her muscles flexed and she rocked her hips, riding him. Shit. Her body shook and she gushed sticky sweetness. He lapped at her, wrapping his hands around her thighs to keep her upright. He leaned back. “You okay?”

  “So much better than okay.”

  He laughed.

  “I have one problem. You’re overdressed.”

  Her throaty purr had him on his feet, stripping. He kicked his boots aside and stepped out of his jeans and boxers.

  “So much better,” she said raking her nails down his chest.

  His muscles contracted.

  She pinched his nipples, rolling them between her clever fingers.

  He leaned down and took her mouth. He thrust his tongue inside, and they battled for dominance. His body hummed with tension as the strain from holding back caught up with him. “Babe, I wanted to go slow, but I can’t.”

  “Good. ‘Cause I don’t want slow. I want fast, nasty, and hard.”

  “Fuck, then you got it.” He popped her bra, flung it, and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around him and he walked her to the bed. The minute he set her down, he was on her. He slipped two fingers inside her pussy and she returned the favor, stroking his cock. “So hot and wet. Let me stretch that pussy out, so it’s ready for me.”

  “I’ve been ready,” she gasped the words out. Bucking her hips.

  He circled her walls and she arched her back, coming off the bed. “You’re so fucking responsive. I can’t wait to fill you up and come inside you.” She squeezed him harder and he grunted. “Keep that up and it’ll be over too soon.” He angled his fingers and she screamed. Her hands went to the comforter clutching it as she convulsed.

  “That’s right, squeeze my fingers, baby.” She flexed her muscles and squirted. “Oh fuck, that’s it baby,” he urged continuing to pump in and out of her tight sheath.

  “Nigel.”

  “Always. I’m the only one who will ever touch this pussy.” He added a third finger.

  “Yes, yes, yes.”

  She’s ready. Her eyes glazed over and he knew she was close again. He removed his fingers and rubbed her clit.

  “Oh, I’m going to, come.” Her head fell back and her body tensed.

  He thrust his cock inside her. She screamed, and he swallowed down her cry with his mouth. He paused, giving her time to adjust as he fought the urge to move. He slipped his tongue between her lips, taking her mind from the pain. Her body relaxed and he came up for air. “You’re so fucking tight, baby. How do you like having this dick inside you?”

  “So good. So good and full.” She flexed her inner walls.

  Pausing at the erotic sensation, he closed his eyes. All the prep work he’d put in was paying off. “Wrap your legs around me.” He gripped her hips, massaging her flesh as he pulled out and plunged back inside her. She dug her nails into his flesh and he unleashed, drilling into her. She planted her feet on the bed meeting him stroke for stroke. The slap of their bodies, and the wet sound of her pussy drew his vision down to where their bodies came together. The sight of her taking him in made him growl. “Look down. See how well we fit together.”

  She gazed down and whimpered.

  Her pussy tightened and he clenched his jaw. He reached down between them and rubbed her clit. “I need you to come on my cock.”

  Her lips parted and her eyes slid closed.

  “Give it to me one more time, baby. Come with me.” The base of his spine tingled. His balls drew up. His body became a live wire. Her walls quivered. He rubbed her once, twice. Her muscles contracted, pulling him over the edge as she let go. He grunted as he filled her to the brim for the first time. His muscles twitched and he collapsed on top of her, careful to balance his weight on his forearms.

  This moment had been months in the making.

  “Are you okay?” he whispered as he panted.

  She nodded her head with a long shuddering sigh.

  Clue kissed her, easing out to lay beside her. Right now, he was content.

  Chapter Eight

  CLUE

  He stood in the doorway watching his mother struggle with her breathing.

  Over the past month, she’d gone downhill rapidly, yet she continued to cling to life. The machines around her hummed and beeped as they gave life sustaining fluids and monitored her vitals. They had a doctor on call, but with her DNR papers signed, he didn’t serve a purpose other than prescribing.

  Clue could hear the rattle in her chest. She’d fought off a handful of upper respiratory infections. He knew it was normal, but it didn’t make any of this easier.

  “Are you okay?” Birdie asked coming up behind him.

  “No, and I won’t be for a long time. I don’t understand why she keeps fighting so hard to stay, when all she wanted me to do was let her go. This is torture.”

  “Because she needs to know it’s okay to go. Maybe you should tell her that if this is too much for her, you’ll be fine.”

  He sniffed. There was a rightness to her words. “But I won’t.”

  “Yes, you will,” Birdie whispered. She wrapped her arms around him. “I know its hard babe. I can’t say I understand, but I can say I’m here.”

  He leaned his head down to hers. “I know. Can I get some time with her?”

  “Of course. I’m
going to start dinner,” she said slipping away.

  He walked into the room and took a seat beside her on the edge of the bed. Taking her cold hand in his, he closed his eyes. Why is it, the right things to do are always the hardest? “Mom, you know I love you with everything I have in me. Dad may have taught me how to be a man, but you taught me how to be a good man. You pulled me out of shit before I got in too deep, and showed me how to think for myself. I’d be sitting here all night if I named the things you’ve sacrificed to make sure I got where I am now. I don’t want you to go. I’ll never say that, but even more than my selfish longings. I can’t stand to see you in pain. If you got the fight left to carry on, I’m here with you. Birdie and I will keep going right alongside you. But if—” His voice cracked. “If this is too much and you can’t do it anymore. It’s okay to let go. I’ll be okay. Because you made sure, I knew how to survive. I’m always going to miss you mom, never doubt that. I just—I need y-you to be at peace. We’ve said everything that needs saying and you’ve done everything you needed to. You saw Dad, saw me married, and we talked about the hard things, about what happens after you go. I got this Mom.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, feeling like a noose was tightening around his neck.

  With those words...something had shifted. He felt it in his head and in his heart. He closed his eyes holding her hand, knowing he wouldn’t leave her side tonight.

  “You want to eat?” Birdie asked appearing some time later.

  “How about we all eat in here tonight? If she feels up to it,” Clue suggested.

  “Sounds good. Homemade chicken soup and biscuits are coming up.”

  It didn’t escape him that this was one of his mother’s favorite meals. He shook her shoulder gently. Her eyelids fluttered open. He waited to see how cognate she was today. It was touch and go most days. “Hey mom, do you want to eat? It’s your favorite Chicken Noodle Soup and Biscuits.”

  “That would be nice, Nigel,” she replied softly.

  His soul rejoiced. He needed this last moment with her.

  “Birdie too?”

  “Of course.”

  She smiled. “Love that girl.”

  “The feeling is mutual, Mom,” he said…The moment felt so bittersweet.

  Birdie returned with a giant smile, a food tray set for three, and cheery disposition. “Well, good morning. I made your favorite, sans the noodles, so it’s even easier to eat. I know you don’t have much of an appetite right now.”

  “Thank you,” his mom said.

  Her voice was so soft now he had to strain to hear her.

  They had a nice dinner. It was the most energetic he’d seen her. The conversation was light and full of memories. Despite it, she was asleep a few moments after Birdie took the food away. He leaned back in the chair, holding her hand, and cherishing the time, he had with her on the same plane. He drifted off to sleep, dreaming of better days.

  ~* * *~

  The steady beeping woke him in the middle of the night. His heart ripped open and bled. Instinct told him to call someone. He wanted to do chest compressions and CPR, but he knew better. He’d never felt so helpless in his life.

  Birdie rushed into the room mussed and sleepy. She covered her mouth and gasped.

  It was like being trapped in a living nightmare.

  She walked over to the machine and turned it off, ending the sound he knew would haunt him for the rest of his life.

  His mom looked peaceful. Her lips were curved up into a smile, and there were no signs of pain on her face.

  He walked over to the bed, closed her eyes, and placed a gentle kiss onto her forehead. Now is the time for strength. He pulled the sheet over her face. “I’ll go and call the funeral home.”

  “You don’t want more time with her?” Birdie asked.

  “Why? She’s not in there anymore,” he replied in a cold voice.

  Birdie flinched. “I’ll fill out the paper work.”

  He gave a curt nod and left the room. As he crossed the threshold of her room, a sense of relief washed over him. Ashamed, he lowered his head. There would be no more waiting, worrying, or wondering. It was done and he no longer had to watch her suffer. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind, his mother was in heaven. She’d always been one to help others.

  He felt like a robot as he made the necessary arrangements. With his father in jail and his mother gone, he damn near felt like an orphan. There was a certain feeling that only came with the loss of a parent. Even when you’re grown…you go to your parents for advice, and comfort. To be without that, felt daunting. Who would he turn to for guidance when he had his own children one day? It was a terrifying prospect he wasn’t ready to face.

  ~* * *~

  Clue felt removed from the celebration going on around him. His mother hadn’t wanted a funeral. She wanted a celebration of her life, and he’d given it to her in the one place that had been home. She’d always been welcome, even after she and Wild went their separate ways. They’d scattered her ashes by the ocean as she requested. While he felt pride when he heard them speaking kindly of his mother, he wasn’t at the point where he could celebrate her life yet. He removed himself from the club and went out back to watch as the sun began its descent into the horizon.

  A large Monarch butterfly flitted in front of him and landed on his shoulder. A cool wind caressed his face, and his breath caught in his lungs. He smelled his mother’s perfume and for a moment, he swore he could feel her hand on his shoulder. The butterfly left his shoulder.

  “You know, some believe the butterfly is a loved one who’s passed coming back to visit us,” Birdie said.

  He glanced over at his wife. “It’s funny—I could swear I could feel her just now.”

  “One thing I know about your mom is she loved you more than anything. She’ll never leave you fully.”

  He wrapped an arm around her waist and held her close. Pushing her away would do nothing to stave off the pain he felt. There was nothing like a mother’s love. Getting over her death wasn’t an option. He only hoped he could learn to function and remember the good times more than the bad.

  Clue glanced down at his wife. Wife. His light. The voice of reason in a time of insanity and confusion. She’d arrived in time to keep him from breaking down. Pushed to the edge, he’d been balanced on a razor’s edge until she came, like an answer to an unspoken prayer.

  While the sky darkened after the sun disappeared, he knew a chapter of his life had ended, and a new one was beginning. Life was harsh, unpredictable, painful, thrilling and joyous. With his woman at his side and his brothers at his back, he finally knew he could weather this storm.

  The End

  Author Note:

  I hope you enjoyed this story. I experienced some of the things mentioned in the story. I understand the loss and grief that comes from losing someone you love. I choose to end here at a place full of hope, because to measure grief is impossible. I don’t believe you truly stop. It’s been my experience, one simply learns to live without them. The pain in your heart becomes a scar as you continue forward, holding those dearest memories near.