Fashionably Dead and Wed Book 7

by Robyn Peterman

  “Ohmigosh!” I said wracking my brain for something of interest to give Mary more time. “You must know a lot of famous people.”

  “I do!” Spike said removing his hand from his pocket and throwing both in the air. “But sadly the ones I enjoyed the most are dead now.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said watching him closely.

  “Yes, well it happens.”

  “Isn’t it nice that we never die?” I asked testing the waters of a theory that he had planted only moments ago. I wanted the whole story before he died.

  “Do you think so?” he asked, truly perplexed.

  “Don’t you?”

  He paused and stared hard at me for a bit and then resumed his pacing. “I don’t Astrid, but what would you know? You’re still in the natural time that a human should live. What are you? Thirty-five?”

  “Thirty,” I corrected him, slightly insulted that he thought I was older than I was. It had been a Hell of a year, but I thought I was looking pretty good.

  “Do you miss it?” he asked wistfully.

  “Being human?”

  “Of course,” he said getting a bit agitated. “You must miss it.”

  I eased a little closer to Ethan and prayed that he would open his eyes and see me. “Um… well, I do miss eating. I miss ice cream and pizza and chips and salsa. Why?”

  I watched Spike struggle with how much he wanted to say. “I like you Astrid. You’re different from the others. It was difficult for me to do the things I’ve had to do as of late, but when one is presented with one’s greatest desire one must go for it. I don’t wish this Hell on you. You have no idea how horrific it is to live for eternity.”

  “I didn’t follow most of that,” I told Spike, prompting him explain himself.

  “I didn’t expect you to, dear. I’m very cryptic,” he boasted as he mussed his hair, and then brushed at invisible lint on his jacket.

  “Soon to be crippled,” I muttered under my breath.

  “My point is that we are all doomed by this immortality. Everyone goes bad —everyone.”

  “But we have no choice,” I told him in the most helpless voice I could pull out of my ass. “There’s no way out, Spike. We’re stuck like this forever.”

  I dropped my head into my hands and pretended to cry. Spike’s delighted hiss was exactly what I was hoping for. Now I just needed the sick fuck to supply me with the rest of the pieces of the puzzle.

  Spike ran to the far side of the studio to get something. Shit, I prayed like Hell that Mary was still in his pocket. Thankfully the studio was a fucking cavern and he was out of sight.

  “Don’t move! I want to show you something I think you will find interesting. I just need to find it.”

  “Waiting with bells on,” I called out, as I squatted down where I stood and whispered to Ethan. “Baby, it’s me. The real me.”

  His eyes opened and he stared in confusion. My non-beating heart was lodged in my throat. His bleeding was excessive and if I didn’t get this show on the road I feared he would bleed out—beyond unacceptable. I needed the fucking remote.

  “Spike morphed into me. He has a remote in his pocket that activates the stake to pierce your heart. Mary misted and is going to get the remote and then Spike is a dead fucker. You just hold on. You understand me?”

  “You don’t want to be a Vampyre,” he whispered brokenly, choking on his own blood.

  “Spike doesn’t want to be a Vampyre. I’m playing along until I can get the remote,” I told him wanting to cry.

  “I love you, Astrid,” he said as he closed his eyes again.

  “If you die, I will make your afterlife a living Hell,” I warned him, holding back my tears with super human effort.

  Spike was whistling as he made his way back over. I stood quickly and clapped my hands in excitement. “Is it a present?” I asked, playing the vapid idiot to a hilt.

  “Kind of. Can I trust you?” he asked, narrowing his eyes and glancing suspiciously over at Ethan.

  “Since we’re twinsies, I don’t see why not,” I replied as I waggled my eyebrows at him.

  His laugh went through me like shards of glass. “You are so funny,” he squealed, clearly coming more unhinged with each passing second. “I had a good feeling about you from the moment we met. When you mentioned Buffy the Vampyre Slayer, I knew we were kindred spirits.”

  “So?” I asked, eyeing the paper in his hands.

  He made great show of unfolding the paper as if it were the most precious fiber ever created. I could scent Dark Fairy dust on the note, which I was certain held a death warrant for me written in some kind of magical ink. Spike gently caressed the paper and then raised to eyes Heavenward and closed them.

  “This is a promise to make me human again,” Spike whispered reverently, opening his eyes wide with joy. “The Dark Fairies can make an immortal human again.”

  “You’re kidding,” I said, reaching for the paper so he stayed focused on me.

  He snatched back, held it close to his chest, and made little tsking sounds as his grin grew wider and his fangs dropped.

  “No, my dear. I’m not kidding. I’ve made a little deal with them and that’s where you come in. Did you know that you and Ethan are despised by the Dark Fairies?” he inquired with a giggle.

  “I’d heard that,” I answered vaguely, as I watched the remote float out of his pocket and get whisked across the room. I wanted to lift my hands and blow Spike to smithereens, but I knew a bit more of the plot of this fucked up movie would be very helpful.

  “Yes,” Spike said flatly. “They want you dead. Since I didn’t really know you at the time of the negotiations, I agreed to the plan. It’s really quite brilliant.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes! All I had to do was pretend to be you after I showed them where the portals were. You would be blamed and the monarchy would be in chaos. All those nasty Demons would wreak havoc and the Fairies could take over. But do you want to know the best part?”

  “I’m not really sure I do,” I said as Mary materialized about ten feet behind Spike with the remote in her hand.

  “Because I helped them, the Dark Fairies will restore my humanity. I will live out a normal life and die a natural death. This immortal shit is for the birds. Which, by the way, was a wonderful movie starring Tippi Hedren.”

  “How is Ethan involved with this?” I asked, tamping down the fire that begged to explode out of me.

  “Oh, he really isn’t. It was simply a thrilling B plot to the story. There were never any solid plans as far as you and he were concerned. I was improvising. It’s very exciting, isn’t it?”

  “I think you might have read the wrong script,” I said evenly as The Kev slipped out from behind the curtain and stood silently with the seething Mary.

  “Oh no. It’s all happening better than I could have dreamed. The Dark Fairies will be back eventually and you will be here to greet them. They’ll be delighted with me.”

  I took a huge risk and let my eyes stray from the nut job. The Kev was examining the contraption on Ethan’s chest and Mary was on her knees beside my mate. They didn’t make a sound and I prayed Spike would be too caught up in himself to turn before Ethan was safe. I watched as they carefully pulled him behind a large set piece. I could spot The Kev and Mary, but Ethan was now hidden from my view. Using magic to help him was too risky. He was still bleeding profusely and I needed to be able to see him better before I made any calls on how to take him home.

  “I don’t think so Spike. But that’s not your real name is it? What is your real name? You look like a Herbert or a Marvin to me.”

  The appalled expression on Spike’s face almost made me laugh, but the situation held no humor. His death was going to be an execution, not active self-defense. Not my favorite way to run the show, but compassion would not rule this time.

  “I won’t be going with the Fairies and Ethan won’t be dying. However, you will get your wish to no longer be immortal this fine evening, becau
se I’m improvising a new and improved ending. It’s the one where the bad dude bites it,” I ground out.

  Spike’s laugh was ugly and so was the sneer on his handsome face. Mary had been correct about my misjudging his character. Never again would I make that mistake.

  “That’s where you’re wrong, pretty little Vampyre,” he snapped and went for the absent remote in his pocket. “What the fuck?” he bellowed as he frantically checked all of his pockets in alarm.

  “It’s gone,” I told him. “Mary took it and left with it.”

  “That stupid bitch is worthless,” he hissed as turned his head and realized Ethan was gone.

  Spike rechecked his pockets and then dropped to the floor and searched in case it had fallen out.

  “She hates being a Vampyre more than I do. But she doesn’t deserve to be human again. That’s my remote and my way out of this Hell,” he shrieked.

  “You told me Ethan wasn’t part of the plot,” I reminded him, as I watched him crawl around on the floor like an animal.

  “I lied. They want you and Ethan dead, and since you’re so goddamned hard to kill, I thought the Prince would suffice. I will kill Mary,” he growled as his search became panicked.

  “You already did,” I replied, sarcasm lacing my voice.

  “Semantics.”

  “Why?” I asked.

  “Why what?” he snarled.

  “Why doesn’t Mary deserve to be a human?”

  My question stopped him. He paused his search and closed his eyes in confusion. In a beat he morphed back to himself. “All I wanted was a friend,” he pouted. “She was so pretty and full of life. I wanted her like I’d never wanted anything.”

  “So you turned her against her will?” I asked, peeking over at my people. Pain and pure loathing passed over Mary’s face as she stared daggers at the soon to be dead Vampyre.

  “I had to,” Spike explained, as he was now rocking back and forth like a child.

  Thankfully his eyes were still squeezed shut. However, closing his eyes wouldn’t let him un-see what he had done.

  “Why?”

  “She had a husband and children. She was supposed to be mine and she fucked it up. I knew she’d have to be punished for betraying me. That was sad, but it’s the way it had to be.”

  My stomach roiled as I guessed what was coming.

  “You killed her family?” I asked, unable to keep any kind of neutral expression on my face. “You murdered her children?”

  “Good Heavens, no,” Spike said opening his eyes and looked right through me with a vacant expression.

  The insane Vamp was no longer here. He was trapped in his ugly past.

  “She killed them all by herself.”

  His giggle made the bile in my stomach rise to my throat.

  “I don’t believe that,” I countered harshly, refusing to look at Mary—afraid of what I would see on her face as she had to relive this horror. “She wouldn’t kill her children.”

  “Ahhhhh, but a newbie Vampyre with blood lust would,” Spike said with a feral grin. “It was just brilliant. I didn’t have to lift a finger. She did it all. She despised herself every minute of it, but couldn’t stop. The screams from her babies were positively gruesome and the scene was bloodier than any horror movie ever made—much better than Dawn of the Dead. Her husband fought like a champion, but she overpowered him and tore his head right from his shoulders. I wished I’d been able to record it. I could have edited it into an Oscar winner.”

  I was speechless and my undead heart was breaking—for Mary—for her children—for her husband—for the long life she’d had to live knowing what she’d done.

  “You are a sick fuck,” I hissed. “You’re lucky she hasn’t staked you.”

  “She tried, but it’s difficult to kill family,” he explained.

  Now I was sure he’d lost it. “Not following,” I said.

  “She was married to my brother, but he wasn’t right for her, I was. Sadly, my beautiful Mary has never quite come around to my thinking. Such a shame. I would have given her the gift of being human as well, but she doesn’t deserve it. Did you know she’s tried to kill herself many times over the years, but it’s impossible for the undead to commit suicide?”

  My instinct shocked me and I pushed it back violently. I was not God. I was only Compassion, but I wanted to give Mary the choice between living or dying. I wanted to give her the chance to be reunited with her family. It felt all wrong, but somehow right. Could I really kill someone to give them back a life that had been brutally destroyed hundreds of years ago?

  I said nothing to Spike as I caught a flash of silver out of the corner of my eye. Mary was approaching Spike from behind with the very same stake that had been poised over Ethan’s heart to kill him. I stepped back. This was no longer my party.

  It was hers.

  Without a word, she softly tapped Spike on the shoulder. He startled and turned with a gasp of horrified shock. Time seemed to move in slow motion as he tried to overtake her. But years of unimaginable pain made Mary far stronger than her brother-in-law. She was steady and she had a vicious, victorious smile on her face. Spike, realizing the movie was turning into a reality he hadn’t planned for, tried to run.

  “You’re Running on Empty,” Mary said, laughing shrilly at her reference to a movie.

  “Mary,” Spike begged as he turned and tentatively held his ground. “We can be human again. I will let you come with me,” he lied. “The Dark Fairies promised. You’ll see, I can make you happy. All I ever wanted to do was make you happy.”

  “You failed,” Mary replied tonelessly, as she raised the stake in her hand and threw it with such speed, accuracy, and violence that Spike didn’t even see it coming.

  Spike crumpled to the floor with a look of disbelief on his face. His death came too fast for his sins, but that wasn’t my call. It was Mary’s.

  “I spiked Spike,” she said as hysterical laughter consumed her and then turned to gut wrenching sobs.

  We watched as the man who’d destroyed her life in the most vile way possible turned to ash. The Kev stepped forward with an unconscious Ethan in his arms and gently laid him on a couch. Then he moved toward Mary. He took in the end of the tragic scene quietly and ran his hands through his hair in deep thought.

  He whispered something in Mary’s ear and she gaped at him in shock. Mary whispered something back then fell to her knees before The Kev and laid her cheek on his feet. The Kev’s head fell forward to his chest and he sighed with great sadness.

  I rushed to Ethan’s side and laid his head in my lap as I wondered what was going on.

  “Astrid, I need your word that nothing leaves this room. Ever,” The Kev said as he dropped his Michael Bolton disguise and took on his true form.

  His beauty was blinding to most, but I’d become slightly immune after the time we’d spent in his world of Xanthia.

  “What are you going to do?” I asked, hesitantly.

  “That is not a question you can ask me now or ever,” he replied in a voice so weary it made me feel like crying. “I need your word as the Chosen One and Compassion that you will honor my request.”

  I swallowed back the myriad of questions I had and nodded my head. I trusted The Kev more than I trusted myself. Anything he asked of me was his for the having. “You have my word.”

  He stared hard at me for a beat then lifted his palms Heavenward and chanted a spell so melodic I almost fell into a trance. The room filled with hundreds of golden iridescent bubbles that bounced and jiggled. Shimmering pink Fairy dust burst from the bubbles as they landed on the surfaces of the room and tiny glowing neon purple fireflies emerged from the dust.

  In a symphony of purple light and soft buzzing the little bugs gently surrounded Mary, flitting about her and bathing her in their magical glow. Mary gasped and convulsed at The Kev’s feet. My mentor’s eyes were still closed and his palms still extended in the air. He continued to chant as Mary writhed and moaned beneath him.
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  I pressed my hand to my mouth in both fear and awe. Was he giving Mary her wish by killing her? That was unlike him, but I froze with the realization that I had been planning to give Mary the choice of living or dying. I watched in horrified fascination and held Ethan close to my body.

  And then I realized what The Kev had done.

  Slowly Mary’s writhing stopped and her skin lost its pale pallor and became a glowing peachy pink. Her chest rose and fell as she gasped for air. She crawled to her knees with effort as she ran her hands over her now human body. Her tears were clear—not bloody—as they ran unchecked down her cheeks. She clasped The Kev at his knees and murmured barely intelligible thanks.